Bringing Trouble to Barad-dur by Aiwen

Bring on the Dancing Nazgirls!

Four hours later, Gil-galad and Celebrimbor sat glumly on a crate of size six left boots, comparing notes.

"I haven't found anywhere with both food and water," said Gil-galad, "and most of the storerooms are much too easy for the enemy to get into."

"Too true,"said Celebrimbor. "It's the same with me - although it's true we haven't explored everywhere yet. But out of curiosity, what have you found?"

"Twenty cartons of size 12 boots for the right foot, and entirely too many weapons and armors," said Gil-galad.

"I found a lot of that too," said Celebrimbor, "but most of it seems to be full of defects. I think we're looking at the ones that need repair or were too poorly made for use. I also found a box of what seemed to be experimental siege weaponry. Quite interesting really, although most of it would never have worked... and some of it would have exploded if they tried to fire it. What else did you find?"

Gil-galad raised his eyebrows, "16 cartons of revealing dresses..."

Celebrimbor choked. "What? Never mind, I don't want to know."

"...and a box of iron high heeled shoes shaped to fit orc feet." They both contemplated that for a second, then shuddered.

"I didn't find any of that, although I did find a few art objects gone hideously wrong. Did you find anything potentially useful?" asked Celebrimbor.

"Not unless you count the potential blackmail material for use after we finished hiding the prisoners, if that is even possible."

"Blackmail? How?"

"I don't imagine the haradrim ambassadors would like having their clothes replaced by things intended for female orcs," said Gil-galad. "And the idea of a Nazgul wearing a raqs sharqi costume is so appalling as to be funny."

"What is raqs sharqi?" said Celebrimbor.

"An eastern custom that was taken up by some of the Numenoreans. It is performed only by women, and involves lots of undulating movements, dressing up in a costume with a bare midriff and assorted metallic objects that make noise when the dancer moves."

"It is hard to imagine the Nazgul doing any such thing." Celebrimbor grinned suddenly. "Can you imagine them as a dance troupe? They'd definitely be unique."

"Bring on the dancing Naz-girls!" said Gil-galad, gesturing grandly at a nonexistent audience. Both of them burst out laughing.

"Dancing Naz-girls my foot," said Celebrimbor. "How do you know about this raqs sharqi, anyway?"

"I accidentally walked into a performance in a soldier's encampment in the middle of the War of the Last Alliance."

"When you say you walked into a performance, just what do you mean?"

"I was busy discussing something or other important with Elrond and didn't pay enough attention to where we were going. He collided with one of the dancers. She asked him if he wanted to dance too. If you had only seen his expression..."

"I wish I could have seen that," said Celebrimbor. "But since neither of us have found anything we can use to hide the prisoners, I suppose we should take the next level down and search that."

Gil-galad nodded, "However, I think I may go and look through the outbuildings inside the curtain wall."

They separated, hoping to find something more useful than dance costumes and broken siege equipment.

Gil-galad looked up as he left the main tower of Barad-dur. The sky was gray with ash as well as cloud and was utterly unprepossessing, but he immediately felt less oppressed at being out of the massive tower of stone and terror.

He turned his eyes outward to his objective: a ring of outbuildings leaning up against the sides of the great tower. He'd seen them above and thought that they looked oddly glassy. Now, seeing them closer, he'd realized that was because they were made of glass. He peered inside the nearest. Plants. Rows of strawberries and lettuce. There were even grapevines trellised against the side of the tower.

Gil-galad's eyes widened, and then he smiled. Of course Sauron and the upper echelons of his human servants would want their favorite dainties available on demand. But still, finding vegetables in Barad-dur was unexpected. He didn't remember Barad-dur as having such facilities in the War of the Last Alliance. Perhaps Sauron had missed having fresh vegetables available on demand, and decided to make improvements to his tower. From a long low building near the curtain wall, Gil-galad heard a long, soulful "moo". Sauron had missed milk too, apparently.

Gil-galad wondered briefly if the prisoners could be kept somewhere out here. There was not only food available, but fresh food. Still, getting them out here would be very difficult, and sealing them off so that they would not be found would be well-nigh impossible.

Gil-galad went and poked around some of the other buildings. He found various sorts of sheds, and the obligatory guard rooms in the curtain wall towers. However, the chances of getting the prisoners all the way out to the curtain wall without them being noticed was very low, so Gil-galad turned back towards Barad-dur proper and went to find Celebrimbor.

Celebrimbor was not at the stairway. Gil-galad waited for half an hour, then went looking. He searched the entire level where Celebrimbor was supposed to be looking with no luck whatever and no sighting of his friend. Exasperated, Gil-galad started on the next level down.

Chapter End Notes

A/N: Credit (or possibly blame) for thinking up the Dancing Naz-girls goes to my Dad. Raqs sharqi is egyptian-style belly dancing. I wanted a style of dance as inappropriate to Nazgul as I could imagine.