Poetic History of Arda ( Part 1: The Music of the Ainur) by Furnace with wings

Part 1

Read Part 1

AT THE END IS APPENDED THE ORIGINAL DRAFT.

HERE BEGINS THE LATEST REVISION:

In the beginning there was One
Ere yet the Moon or Sun
Did shine their face
Upon those of Elven race

The All-Father, Illuvatar
saw the Void stretch wide and far
Then made He the Ainur strong
And taught them to make song

They sang their own songs pleasantly
One or two, or only three
And as they increased in harmony
Each new voice added his beauty

Then Illuvatar a theme did unfold
And by their music, it he would mold
Taking up song they did sing
Thoughts unfolding like flowers in Spring

A great and powerful melody
Everchanging as the sea
Rising and falling in a swell
Filling the the hall where they did dwell

But then it entered the mind
Of Melkor, to follow his own design
To him was given the greatest gift of power
And he rose alone, tall as a tower

Dark and bitter thoughts did he conceive
Apart from his brethren, and he did weave
His own ambitions and desire,
(Lust for Eru's Secret Fire)
Into lyric ,black and grim
Discord rising about him

No longer did they sing one song alone
For in every note pride's seed was sown
At last those near him began to falter,
And yet others began to alter
Their own song and did forsake
The melody they first set out to make

Higher and louder the tumult grew
Until Illuvatar started anew
A song different and more brave
Against which Melkor's did rave

New phrases sounded in their ears
Softly falling , like gentle tears
A lament for what is lost, but shall be
Forever held in memory

This agony of passion frail
Was eas'ly drowned by the gale
That Melkor and his followers made
The Ainur then, their music stayed.

Strong his song in truth became
Without any grief or shame
Trying to challenge Eru's plan
But just then ,a third began

Eru's song was rich and full
It shone out as a jewel
A very pattern of his heart
In which no Ainur had a part

Melkor's song turned to braying
Never able but still assaying
To overcome and subdue
This final theme ,as on it drew

The Ainur's reply ,artless but loud
Without form, but high and proud
Seeking only the mastery to claim
By volume, this was its only aim

And as the new anthem rolled,
Taking the place of the old,
The defiant notes could only add
To the beauty it already had

Melkor tried, but I vain
To conquer this, the final strain
Only to make it greatest than the first
It's glory growing with each verse.

At the end did toll
One final note, out did roll
Higher than heaven, deeper than sea
Crashed, bringing all Ainur to the knee

THE ORIGINAL DRAFT

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION

In the beginning there was One
Ere yet the Moon or Sun
Did shine their face
Upon those of Elven race

The All-Father, Illuvatar
saw the Void stretch wide and far
Then made He the Ainur strong
And taught them to make song

They sang their own songs pleasantly
One or two, or only three
And as they increased in harmony
Each new voice added his beauty

Then Illuvatar a theme did unfold
And by their music, Ea would mold
Taking up song they did sing
Thoughts unfolding like flowers in Spring

But then it entered into mind
Of Melko, to add notes of his own design
To try to spoil its majesty
And make his Creator's plan a travesty

To him was given the greatest gift of power
And he rose up alone, tall as a tower
No longer did they sing one song alone
For in every note, pride's seed was sown

At last those near him began to falter
And yet others began to alter
Their own song, and did forsake
The melody they set out to make

Higher and louder the discord grew
Till Illuvatar started anew
A song different and more brave
Against which Melko's did rave

Like, yet unlike the first them
As if the echoes of a dream
Melko now held main sway
And the Ainur their music now did stay

Strong his song in truth became
Without any grief or shame
Trying to change Eru's plan
But just then a third began

Eru's song was rich and full
shining out as a jewel
A pattern of His own heart
In which the Ainur had no part

Melko's song turned to braying
Never able, but always assaying
By volume and noise to drown
The other with harsh sound

The Ainur's theme, artless but loud
Without any form, but high and proud
Betraying his true design:
To grasp power and call it "mine"

And as the anthem rolled
Taking the place of the old
It quavered on mournfully
As each harsh note added to its beauty

This Melko tried in vain
To challenge, the final strain
Only to make it grander than the first
Its glory growing with each verse

At the end did toll
One final note, out did roll
Higher than heaven, deeper than sea
Crashed, bringing all Ainur to the knee

---

Chapter End Notes

 Any parts missing from the original that you miss?

Any horrible/Favorite parts?

More will be posted ONLY if interest is shown.

I am looking for a group of honest critics, so undestand that work will continue even if negligible interest is shown.

Critics only need apply. NO CHEERLEADERS( I have my Mom for that  LOL XD)

 

PS it willl not even let me choose, let alone change the filed series.

How do you change that?