I love the language and descriptions of this story. The way you play with contrasts and parallels you use are really effective to paint a vivid image of the creation and first rising of Sun and Moon, and to characterise Arien and Tilion. Wonderful, poetic work.

ooh i like this one, its more like a poem than prose. or ballet, or music. 

i especially like the 'dove-grey, beech-bow-bearing stripling', it seems to capture, in Elvish, the gentleness of moonlight

“You wish to be near me in the skies,” said Arien, and her voice crackled like pine pitch in the coals.

“I do not deny it,” said Tilion, and he whispered like crickets in the trees. 

Love the fable-like strangeness and mystery: the figures who are beings and yet inhuman entities at once.

Oh, this is enthralling reading, especially in light of the recent dramatic eclipse of the sun in my hemisphere. It made me think about that when I read of Tilion's gentle light and the harsh and dramatic one given off by Arien. I love that you included the part about her turning "the lust of Melkor to fear." Very good images and effectively described.

This is amazing - I was about to quote the same passage as Lordnelson100 because it just really painted the two of them for me. The language and the images you paint are really striking.

Thank you for sharing.

This is absolutely fantastic, and the first word that's come to my mind after finishing this piece is "majestic". Yes. Wonderfully done! Thank you :)