Visions by feanorusrex

Chapter 1

Nerdanel sprinted after Fëanor, her legs and lungs burning with the exertion. But it was no good; he had far too much of a lead on her, but she would never simply give up, no matter how beaten she knew she was. They were traveling near the sea, and seeing the large rock formations that jutted out near the edge of the water, Feanor has challenged her to race up one. She had not thought that it would be this difficult. It was larger than it had first looked, and of course he had a head start, not having waited for her reply before taking off. 

Finally she climbed to the summit, not that long after he had, she thought, not so long that it warranted him shouting, “Again you have failed to best me! What a horrible defeat!” at her, which he did.

Gasping for breath, she began to reply, when suddenly she ceased to see Fëanor and the bright landscape around them. What she saw was not so much with her eyes but with her mind. Nerdanel had always possessed foresight, for as long as she could remember she had known things, mostly small things such as where lost objects where, but visions of larger future events were not uncommon either.

This was a vision certainly, but this time, for the first time, the subject was Nerdanel herself. She was dressed in fine clothes, much finer than any she now owned, and stood with Feanor  in front of a large crowd of nobles from all three houses. They were to be wed and their marriage was being blessed.

And before Nerdanel had time to be incredibly surprised- wed to Feanor!- the scene changed and she was plunged into a whirlwind of premonitions. She saw happiness and children, so many children. Three of them shared her hair color, Nerdanel’s mind noted distractedly. Their childhoods- seven in all- flash before her. There was more, jewels with the light of heaven captured inside, darkness and fire, shouted and binding words, sorrow untold and finally a great doom, beyond what she could possibly understand.

And then her second sight faded as quickly as it had come, and she was once more standing on top of a rock sticking out of the sea. Mere seconds had passed. She could barely breathe, but no longer from physical exertion. Her mind raced, trying to hold on to what she had seen, even as bits of it faded like threads of a dream slipping away the next morning. She tried to push away the horrifying parts. Those, she wanted to forget. 

Fëanor, noticing her lack of response to his provocation which ordinarily she would have never left lie, said, “Nerdanel? Are you alright?”

“Yes fine, I-”

But he continued, “because you looked very odd just now-”

“I am fine,” she snapped, wishing for him- her future spouse, her mind whispered- to be quiet so she could process what she had just seen. The first thing that shocked her of course was that she would have wedded Feanor. Of course they are friends, best friends she would admit if pressed, and of course she cared about him very deeply, but not in a romantic sense, surely not. She had never even considered the possibility of them as sweethearts, and had he? Nerdanel glanced at her companion walking on the road beside her. Feanor had certainly had never said anything to that effect. Of course even if he had possessed feelings for her, Nerdanel was not sure that she would have realized it.

She was perceptive in other matters, but in love…love was not something she had ever given much thought to. Until now of course where it seemed that her fate was to marry, and marry into royalty.

She does not fancy Fëanor; she does not! And yet in what Nerdanel saw, she was happily wed to, and very much in love with him. Nerdanel did not like being told that she will develop feelings she does not currently possess. Everthing would change if she fell in love with him.

When she managed to stop thinking about him, she began instead to think of their children. Seven! No one she knew, or even heard of had any where near that number. Even couples with three children were the subjects of jests behind their back about their burning physical passion for each other. What would people say, all of the Noldor, about having more than twice that many? And the amount of intercourse actually required to produce such a great number- Nerdanel  felt her face grow hot. If she were to marry, she would of course want some children, and she did not think that she would exactly mind the creating of them either, but to think of herself and Fëanor…

He was not bad looking, she would admit that at least. Certainly his coloring, the contrast of dark hair and gray eyes, was striking, his body was slim but muscled from working with stone and metal, and there had been times when she had looked at him and seen what the other female apprentices in her father’s forge admire so much about him. But Nerdanel was an artist and when she noticed these things, it was in a purely objective sense.

Fëanor and Nerdanel were close to the end their journey, and she thanked all the Vala for this. She would not have been able to stand being around him and only him for days and nights on end, as they sometimes were on their longer sojourns. It was not his fault, but she still would rather not see him again for quite some time. Accursed second sight! She did not speak to Feanor and answered his attempts at conversation as shortly as possible, as they walked towards civilization, their path in the wild remerging with that of settled lands. The silence that they finally lapsed into felt awkward, grating on Nerdanel, but she could think of nothing to say. Telling him of her vision would only complicate things further.

They reached the palace first; she could hardly wait to take leave of him and return to her work table in the forge. She had missed it even before this vision, and now her work was the only thing that would clear her head. Surrounded by stone and flame she would be able to think properly again.

“Farewell,” Nerdanel said as they approached a back gate of the palace. She did not wait for him to answer and turned away, more quickly than was polite, but she did not care.

“Nerdanel, wait. Have I offended you in some way?” He was so earnest, and she suddenly felt awful that he thought that her behavior was on account of him.

“No, honestly. It was lovely journeying with you, as always,” she answered, trying to reassure him. “I used to only like traveling alone until I met you. You are not such a bad companion.” She finished hastily, hoping he would not wonder why she was expressing so much unusually nice emotion towards him.

Fëanor smiled at her, looking quite pleased at her words. “Thank you, you are wonderful too, I- anyway, farewell.” He walked away quickly, leaving her smiling as well despite her uncertainty about the future swirling about in her head. You are wonderful. Nerdanel felt her heart beat against her chest in an odd manner that she had never experienced before. 

It was not so unpleasant and she thought that if she was doomed to wed and have seven children with Fëanor, she could perhaps get used to that idea.