A love letter by firstamazon

Love letter

I had written the first verse for a writing challenge on another site (non-Tolkien related) and just rephrased so it could fit my purposes. Anyway, I was thinking about Maedhros/Fingon all along. The whole thing was written using The Raven, by Edgar Allan Poe, as a parameter for metrics.

This was my very first attempt at poetry in English, and it was challenging, but a fun experience! If you notice any mistakes, please, let me know :)

There was only one thing I could do since I first laid eyes on you.
I dreamed about your copper hair,
Your shyness, hiding, as your eyes were smiling,
I had never seen anything more bright or fair.
Waves of love filled my heart and my voice I raised in prayer:
Oh, please, Eru – let him be aware! 

You were oblivious, however, to how my heart chased its endeavor.
I wished to spend all my life with you–
My brothers said it was useless, aye, as yours claimed you were clueless,
But I persisted regardless, for my love was overdue,
Even if you said yours wasn’t true. 

At last I write these lines and wait as my mind resigns
That all I can do is count to three,
And remember the beauty and the lips that taste so fruity
For you finally awake and see
That you and I will always, ever be. 

Please, Maitimo, heed my plea and come with me
I know it might, for both of us, be scary
For the Laws are strict and our fathers live in conflict.
But I am telling you, my love, don’t tarry,
Because it is you whom I want to marry.