Mereth Aderthad by chrissystriped

Maedhros could see the light blush on his king’s cheeks and smiled to himself when he bowed to him. Nolofinwe didn’t let show anything else and he doubted that anyone but him had noticed, but he knew what the High King of the Noldor was hiding under his stately robes. Maedhros felt himself grow hard at the thought. He could barely wait to finally have Nolofinwe to himself.

Nolofinwe asked Makalaure and him to rise. “Prince Maedhros, Prince Makalaure, I’m happy to be able to welcome you here.”

Maedhros could see his eyes move to his prosthesis. He hadn’t written about it and now was not the time to explain.

“We thank you for your invitation, Your Majesty. I regret that my other brothers couldn’t make it. Someone has to keep watch.”

It was only half of the truth. Curufinwe and Tyelkormo had been happy to keep guard if it meant to not have to see their unloved relations –- and not have to bow to Nolofinwe. Carnistir had outright refused to leave his fortress because he was in negotiations with the Khazâd that he couldn’t delay. Ambarussa had vanished into the woods of Ossiriand without a trace. Maedhros was worried for his little brother. Not for his physical welfare, Ambarussa had friends among the Laiquendi and spoke their language well, but since Ambarto’s death he’d become a little... strange. At first he had clung to Tyelperinquar as if he wanted to fill the hole his twin had left, but then he had started to draw in on himself –- Maedhros had often found him talking to himself. He didn’t know what to think of that. Yes, there were stories about housless fear who hadn’t followed Mandos’s call, but could it really be that Ambarto had chosen this way?

Maedhros pulled himself back to the present. Nolofinwe had answered with a few understanding words.

“You have travelled a long way, rest and refresh yourselves. The rest of the family already arrived, we want to take to opportunity to have dinner together, before we travel on to the place where we meet the other guests. Will you come?”

“It’s going to be a pleasure to meet our family again.” It sounded stiff, they were in the throne room of Barad Eithel and had to play their roles, but Maedhros meant it. He’d already met Findekáno, his friend had ridden the last of the road with him, but he hoped to be able to speak with him more while this festival lasted.

Maedhros winked at Nolofinwe when they withdrew. After dinner... Nolofinwe’s cheeks blushed a little more.

Maedhros had slipped him a message when dessert had been served: ‘Expect me at midnight.’

They had had a long and cheerful dinner and talked afterwards, drinking honey wine and liqueur made of wood berries. Nolofinwe had made sure not to drink too much and Maedhros had held back, too. The alcohol mustn’t impair their judgement. It had been nice to have all his children together for once. They would ride to Eithel Ivrin together, where the feast would take place, and Maedhros and Makalaure would ride with them.

Nolofinwe divested himself of his robe and pulled the plug out to oil it before inserting it again, he wanted to be ready for his prince. He took a trembling breath when a shiver of pleasure coursed through his body and his cock strained painfully against its prison. Nolofinwe opened his braids with shaky fingers. He longed so much for his prince and now that it was almost time, he could barely wait.

Maedhros slipped silently through the door and grinned when he saw him naked. Nolofinwe went to his knees.

“Prince Nelyafinwe”, he whispered.

“Good evening, Your Majesty”, Maedhros said with a smirk and caressed his cheek. “Are you ready for me?”

Nolofinwe noticed that he didn’t wear the prosthesis now. “I am, my prince.” He leaned into the touch.

“My núro... how much I missed you.”

“I missed you, too, my prince.” Nolofinwe turned his head and kissed his palm.

“Let us start slowly, get used to each other again.” Nelyafinwe nodded in the direction of his vanity. “Sit. Let me comb your hair.”

Nolofinwe stifled a moan when he sat down and squirmed a little until the position of the plug was endurable.

“Hold still”, Nelyafinwe said with an indulgent smile and reached for the brush.

It was a nice feeling to be combed, the sound of the brush relaxing. Nelyafinwe smiled at him in the mirror.

“I waited so long for this, my núro”, he said with soft voice. “I’ll enjoy this night so much. First, I’ll take off the cage.” His stump slid between Nolofinwe’s legs and he took a trembling breath. “But don’t think that means you are allowed to come.” Nelyafinwe kissed his ear. “You’re going to beg for it tonight, my núro. I want to hear you plead for your release.”

Nolofinwe arched his back when his teeth dug into the crook of his neck. His prince sucked at the caught skin and when he moved back, a red mark glowed on his skin.

“I’ll mark you, núro. I’ll mark you as my own.”

Nolofinwe whimpered when his cock tried again to stiffen in its cage. His prince put aside the brush and kissed his crown.

“Let’s get rid of the plug”, he said gently. “My good boy. Bow forward.”

Nolofinwe braced himself on the vanity with his arms and spread his legs.

“You wore it the whole day?”, his prince asked and pushed his finger against the base. Nolofinwe whimpered with pleasure.

“Yes, my prince.”

“You prepared yourself slowly for this? I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yes, my prince.” Nolofinwe gasped for breath. “I... I trained myself.”

“Good.”

Nelyafinwe kissed his shoulder and slowly worked the plug out.

Maedhros spread Nolofinwe’s cheeks with thumb and forefinger.

“You look so good, open and read for me”, he hummed and let his hand slide lower to the clasp of the cage. “You’ll be a good boy and wait for my permission to come, won’t you?”

“Yes, my prince”, Nolofinwe croaked.

He groaned loudly when Maedhros freed him of the cage and his cock hardened immediately. Maedhros wrapped his fingers around him and felt him tense. It felt so good to have him in his hand! He stroked the hot, velvety skin, enjoying Nolofinwe’s aroused whimpers.

“Lie down on the bed, núro”, he whispered into his ear and flicked the tip with his tongue.

Nolofinwe lay down on his front, his legs spread wide and Maedhros smiled.

“Turn on your back and cross your wrists above the head.”

As Nolofinwe obeyed, Maedhros fetched a rope from the satchel he had brought. He’d practiced to tie knots, but it was different to do this on a person. His hand trembled a little when he wrapped the rope around Nolofinwe’s wrists. It would have been easier with the prosthesis, but he didn’t want to wear it in bed, the metal was cold and hard – and Nolofinwe liked his stump.

Nolofinwe didn’t move as he tied his hands to the headboard, Maedhros kissed his fingers. In his darker moments he had worried that he’d just imagined it all, that Nolofinwe would shrink away after their separation, but with every moment they spent together, those thoughts vanished a little more.

He stood up and undressed slowly, let Nolofinwe see his scars precisely because he felt a little insecure. Nolofinwe’s eyes were dark with desire and Maedhros relaxed a little more. He crawled on the bed and held the stump to Nolofinwe’s lips who kissed it, his tongue darting out to trace the scars. Maedhros shuddered, his cock filling. He had to ease back in his role, he wanted to do so many things to him, but today he wanted to go slow.

He bowed forward to kiss Nolofinwe gently, then let his lips wander lower and sucked another bruise under Nolofinwe’s skin –- his núro would need a high collar tomorrow –- before turning his attention to his nipples, licking and sucking while his hand slid down Nolofinwe’s body. Maedhros listened to his gasps and moans, felt his body tense when he bit into the tender nub. His fingers teased Nolofinwe’s entrance and his núro spread his legs wider.

Maedhros grinned against his chest and slid two fingers inside, moving them slowly. Nolofinwe moaned and shuddered. Maedhros gave his nipples some rest and sucked another bruise into the skin above his collarbone while moving his fingers deeper. Nolofinwe cried out when he found that sensitive spot inside him, he breathed heavily, his body trembling, Maedhros knew that he was close –- and pulled back.

“Not yet, núro”, he said with a gentle smile.

Nolofinwe whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut. Maedhros caressed his skin with his stump for a while until he was sure that Nolofinwe wouldn’t come immediately. Then his lips descended on Nolofinwe’s skin again, his fingers entered him. His moans were like music in Maedhros’s ears, he was hard too and longed to bury himself inside him, but he’d be patient. He wanted to make him beg, wanted him to cry with want. He wanted to leave more marks on his skin.

Nolofinwe sobbed, straining against his bonds. He was so hard it hurt. His prince had just brought him to the brink again before pulling back.

“Please”, he gasped desperately. “Please, my prince, I need...”

“Oh, you need?”

Nelyafinwe smiled teasingly and nibbled at the inside of his thigh, where he’d already left some more bruises. Nolofinwe’s neck and chest were covered in marks, too. A hot shiver ran through his body as he thought how claimed he must look. Nolofinwe whimpered, he was so close. Nelyafinwe bowed over him, scrutinizing him.

“How pretty you are. Completely undone, weeping with want.” He kissed his tearstained cheek. “You may”, he murmured against his lips and slid his fingers back inside him, moving them in just the right way.

Nolofinwe saw stars, his body shuddered as he came over his stomach and chest, he heard himself cry out. Nelyafinwe nibbled at his lower lip while he came down from his orgasm.

“Mmm”, Nolofinwe hummed. “May I pleasure my prince?”

Nelyafinwe grinned at him. “You may, núro.”

He sat up, straddling his chest and leading his cock to his lips. Nolofinwe darted his tongue out to taste the drop of liquid forming in the slit. He lifted his head to take him in and Nelyafinwe cradled his head in his hand to ease the strain on his neck. He slowly rocked his hips while Nolofinwe sucked gently.

“Yes, núro”, he whispered. “Like this.”

Nolofinwe relaxed his throat as he slid deeper, letting him fuck his throat. Enjoying to please him, enjoying to be used.

“You’re doing so well.” Nelyafinwe moaned, his motions becoming quicker, jerkier when he drew closer. His hand gripped his nape when he came, flooding Nolofinwe’s mouth with his salty taste.

Nelyafinwe laid down beside him and pulled him close, opening the bonds with a tug. Nolofinwe returned his embrace, caressing his back.

“Stay a little longer”, he asked although Maedhros didn’t make a move to get up. He wanted to show him that he wanted him here.

“With pleasure.”

Nolofinwe let his hand slide down Maedhros’s right arm and hesitated as he reached a hole that hadn’t been there when he’d seen him last.

“I hope you don’t mind”, Maedhros said with a tone in his voice that told Nolofinwe he was afraid of being rejected.

“Of course not. What is it?”

“It’s for my prosthesis. There’s a pin made of a boar’s tooth that goes through it. This way I can move the fingers of the prosthesis with my remaining muscles. It takes practise. I’m still a little clumsy and my shoulder hurts, if I wear it for too long, but it makes life a lot easier. I’m very grateful to the Khazâd. They have more experience with losing appendages than we do. Curufin insisted on making the prosthesis after their schemes.” Maedhros smiled wryly. “He saw it as a matter of honour. But the surgeries and the fitting was done by the Khazâd. They are magnificent surgeons. I think, our people could learn a lot from each other, if we manage to win their trust. They are very wary of elves.”

“I’m glad relations are good enough that they helped you with the prosthesis. It looks good, though I hope you don’t think you have to wear it for my sake.”

Nolofinwe pressed a kiss to the new scars on Maedhros’s skin.

“I know, and that’s the greatest gift you could have made me”, answered Maedhros. “Thank you.”

Chapter End Notes

The way Maedhros's prosthesis works is inspired by the Sauerbruch arm. (I looked at way too many pictures for this...)

“Do you think those would suit me.”

Findekáno was eyeing the wooden earrings, painted with intricate patterns, displayed by a Laiquendi jeweller.

“They’d look beautiful on you”, Maedhros answered with a smile.

They were taking a stroll over the market that had sprung up at the site of the feast Nolofinwe had invited to.

“Which ones, though?”, Findekáno said, tapping his chin as he looked at the different colours and patterns.

He’d had his earlobes pierced in a fit of youthful hastiness — Findaráto and a jug of wine had played a part in that as far as Maedhros remembered — but he said, he’d never regretted it, yet.

“Can I be of help?”, the vendor asked.

Maedhros looked around as Findekáno talked to her. People were milling around, looking at the offered goods, elves of all over Beleriand mingling happily. Nolofinwe had done well to host this feast. He narrowed his eyes, when he saw an elf sneering at another, pushing him away from the fabrics they’d both been examining.

Maedhros walked over before he’d made the conscious decision. The attacked elf was hunched over and trembling, his arms were scarred, his short hair only growing in patches.

“What’s the matter here?”, Maedhros snapped, although he was sure he knew: Hostility against a survivor from Angband. He would not have it.

The attacker looked at him wide-eyed, mumbling something and quickly walking away. Maedhros didn’t spare him any more thought, he’d recognise him, if their paths crossed again.

“Thank you, my lord”, the vendor said. “I didn’t know what to do.”

She looked scared about the incident. Maedhros said something reassuring, then he turned to the attacked elf who was still trembling and looking like he’d have liked to vanish.

“Do you need help?”, Maedhros asked gently. “Can I do anything for you?”

The elf looked at him with huge, tear-filled eyes. Maedhros saw him relax as their eyes met and he knew him for what he was — a survivor like him.

“I just wanted to take a look!”, he stuttered. “I meant no harm, please…”

“I know”, Maedhros said. “You aren’t in trouble. Do you still want to look? I’m sure the nice lady would be thrilled to show you her wares.”

“Of course, please, come closer. What are you looking for?”, the vendor said, taking the cue.

“Or I could take you to where you are staying, if you’d rather be somewhere that feels save", Maedhros added.

“I want to go home, please”, the elf whispered.

“That’s alright. Do you want me to come with you?”

The elf nodded. “Thank you.”

Maedhros stayed close to him as they walked over the market, he felt Findekáno fall into step beside him. He didn’t know how much his friend had witnessed, but he was glad, he didn’t ask questions.

“What’s your name?”, he asked the elf.

“Rovo. You are… are you really Maedhros?”

“What gave me away?” Maedhros winked at him and Rovo gave him a shy smile. “This is my cousin Findekáno. He’s alright.”

Rovo glanced at him and nodded. “Thank you for… intervening, my lord.”

“I couldn’t look away. Do things like that happen often?”

“They mostly just glare. It’s my own fault.” Rovo wrapped his arms around himself. “I shouldn’t have gone to the market alone.”

“No one should be scared to be attacked just because they are on their own", Maedhros growled.

He noted with surprise that Rovo was leading them to the part of the camp that had been assigned to Turukáno and his people. If he’d been asked who would be most likely to not feel distrust toward escapees from Angband, Turukáno wouldn’t have been on the top of that list.

“You belong to Turukáno’s people?”, he said.

“Yes.” A small smile came to Rovo’s lips. “He invited us, gave us his trust. His people never react hostile toward us — neither do your kin in general, to be honest, it’s mostly our own kin that don’t accept us." A sad look crossed his face. “Anyway. I won’t steal any more of your time, my lords. Thank you, again, for your help.” He bowed to them both.

Maedhros was curious who that ‘us’ was, but he didn’t want to make Rovo uncomfortable by asking questions, when the fear had barely left his body language. He’d look into it another time.

“What was that about?”, Findekáno asked, as they walked back. “You were suddenly gone and when I turned around, you looked like you were about to bite off the head of that other elf.”

“Rovo is a survivor of Angband.” Maedhros said. “As you might know, many are distrustful of them.” ‘Us’, he thought. He was acutely aware, that the only reason why he was exempt from treatment like that was his station. That didn’t mean people weren’t thinking the same of him. “I saw that other elf attack Rovo and stepped in.”

Findekáno smiled gently at him and linked their arms. “That was kind of you.”

“How did your brother come by them, do you know?”, Maedhros asked.

“He came across Rog when he was walking alone in the forest… oh, years ago.”

“Rog?” Maedhros raised his eyebrows.

“Yes, I doubt that’s his given name, but it’s what everyone calls him. Anyway. There was a village of them hidden in the mountains, away from their kin who shunned them. Turukáno offered them a place among us. And despite some of the Sindar muttering he hasn’t had cause to regret it, yet.”

“That’s good to hear.” Maedhros felt weirdly happy about the fact, that there was a place in the west as well as in the east, where escapees would be welcome — even if it was with Turukáno whom he’d never had a particularly good relationship with. He wondered, why Nolofinwe had never mentioned it. “Did you decide on a pair of earrings?”

“Yes.” Findekáno showed him the wooden disks, covered in red, white and green dots and lines forming a pattern of waves and flowers. “I think I’ll wear them at the merrymaking tonight.”

“There’s an elf asking to see you, my lord.”

Maedhros sighed. He’d retreated to his tent for a bit of quiet. He wasn’t used to so many people anymore, Himring was a lot quieter.

“Ask him in.”

The elf who entered his tent had scarred cheeks and intense eyes. Maedhros offered him a seat.

“My name is Rog, Prince Maedhros. Rovo told me what happened at the market this morning. My thanks.”

“I have survived some of the same things as you and him. How could I look away? I’ve heard there are more of you following Turukáno?”

“Yes. We are a few hundred by now. Many hid in the woods and mountains after they escaped, because no one would have them. Turgon is taking everyone in that I deem save.”

“He trusts you?”

“Yes.” Rog held his gaze and Maedhros realised he was scrutinizing him as much as he did him.

“I’m glad he does”, Maedhros said finally. “There’s sometimes people who make it to Himring and I help them, if I can. It’s good there is someone in he west, too. Though I was surprised it is Turgon.” He changed to the sindarinised form of his cousin’s name that Rog had used.

“He is a good lord”, Rog said with flashing eyes. “I won’t have him insulted by you!”

Maedhros bowed his head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to.”

He remembered Turukáno’s hostility towards him after Findekáno had rescued him, but of course he had enough reason to hate him anyway — his wife had died on the Helcaraxe. Rog nodded, accepting his apology.

“I wanted to ask you: Rovo is scared now to go again to the market. And as much as I wish we could show those people that we won’t let us be pushed out, I won’t force him into an uncomfortable situation. But do you think, the weaver would be ready to come to him with her fabrics? He’s a tailor and I’d like to give him the opportunity to stock up on fabrics.”

“She didn’t seem hostile, at least. I can show you her stall.”

“That would be great. Thank you!”

“Let’s go.” Maedhros stood up.

The weaver looked a little startled when she saw Maedhros and Rog come towards her. And he supposed they were a little intimidating with their scars.

“A friend of mine wanted to buy from you, earlier this day”, Rog said and she paled.

“I didn’t mean him to be scared of!”, she stuttered. “Really. I’d have gladly sold my fabrics to him!”

“We don’t blame you”, Maedhros hurried to say and threw Rog a look. He had sounded a little harsh.

“No, not at all”, confirmed Rog. “He is a little rattled by his experience with that elf. Would it be a great bother for you, to come to our part of the camp and show your fabrics to him there? I’d pay you extra for you trouble.”

“Oh, of course I can. I’m sorry, he was scared off.” She looked at them awkwardly. “I don’t believe that they -- you -- are a danger to us.”

Rog tensed, but he smiled at her. “Thank you. When would be a good time for you?”

“Mornings are usually slow. I can ask my son to take over here for a while. Tomorrow would be a little short notice, but the day after is good for me.”

“That would be great. Thank you. That went smoothly”, Rog said to Maedhros as they walked away. “I’m a little surprised at that. Thank you for your help.”

“You’re welcome, it’s not that I did much.” Maedhros liked the elf, for all his curtness. “Don’t get angry with me again. I don’t mean you to be disloyal to Turgon, but if you ever feel like moving closer to danger, to have an eye on Angband, I’d welcome you in Himring.”

Rog smiled at him. “I appreciate the offer, but I won’t leave Turgon. He trusted me, when no one else did, he gave me and my friends a save place to live. I want to fight, but I’ll do it at his side.”

Maedhros nodded. “I can understand that. Good luck to you and yours.”

“I can’t believe this is happening”, Maedhros murmured to Findekáno from the corner of his mouth as they listened to what had quickly become a contest of skill between Makalaure and King Thingol’s famed minstrel Daeron.

Findekáno chuckled. “It was only a matter of time, wasn’t it? We all know that Makalaure can’t resist a contest.”

“He also likes to be the clear winner. He’ll be insufferable if this results in a draw”, Maedhros groaned.

His friend patted his back and took two glasses from the tablet of a server who was just moving past. “Here, drink something.” He pushed the glass at him and Maedhros took a sip. It was good wine. The north of Beleriand was too cold for vines, but Círdan had vineyards at the Falas and they traded for it.

“What do you think of the Sinda, Cousin Galadriel seems to have taken a liking to?”, Findekáno asked.

“Who? Oh, Artanis.” It was hard to keep track of the sindarinized names of his relatives, especially when they were so completely different from their Quenya names. “As he just stared at me, as if he expected me to eat him, when we were introduced, I can’t really say.” Maedhros rolled his eyes. “I like Mablung, the soldiers seem to be the only people with a little sense in that kingdom.”

“I’m sure Thingol thinks it extremely sensible to have as little contact with us as possible”, Findekáno answered cheerfully. “I’m just surprised, that Galadriel should be content to live in Doriath, when she came here to have a kingdom of her own. Even if there’s a lover involved – must be a pretty special guy.” Findekáno sighed, his cheerful mood suddenly gone.

“What’s wrong?”, Maedhros asked with a frown. “Can I help?” He didn’t want anything to weigh on Findekáno’s soul.

Findekáno shook his head. “I don’t see how, unless you find a way of providing me with an heir in another way than the usual.”

“Does your father pressure you?” He’d have a very stern word with Nolofinwe, if that was the case.

“No!” Findekáno shook his head emphatically. “He accepts that I’m not interested in sex. It’s the council, they want the line of succession to be clear. Father is supporting me. He told them, he doesn’t intend to die anytime soon and that even if it comes to the worst, there’s still Turgon after me and that should be a clear enough line of succession. But there are some council members who’ve started to wonder aloud and when I can hear it, why I’m refusing to look for a wife.”

Findekáno looked so unhappy that Maedhros pulled him into a hug. “Point them out to me”, he growled. “And they won’t do it again.” He’d punched Celegorm once, when he’d laughed at Findekáno for his lack of interest in carnal pleasures, he would not mind at all to punch a few more idiots.

“That wouldn’t help.” Findekáno blushed. “In fact, it might make matters even worse.”

Maedhros lifted his eyebrow in a silent question.

“Well... they think, as I’m not interested in women... ah...”, Findekáno stuttered and Maedhros would have laughed at him, if it weren’t so serious. “Don’t be angry... but there are rumours about us... that we are too close...”

“They think, you and I are a couple?”, Maedhros hissed, barely remembering not to shout.

Findekáno nodded, his face almost as red as the wine. “I’m sorry”, he whispered.

“It’s not your fault! And not the worst thing people are saying about me, besides. I’m angry for your sake! Can I do anything to disabuse them of that notion?”

“Snog with someone else in plain sight?”, Findekáno said with a wry smile.

“No.” Maedhros grimaced, stifling the crazy laughter that wanted to bubble up at the thought of him going over and kissing Nolofinwe in front of everyone. He was sure that was not what Findekáno had in mind – although it would give those council members something else to gossip about.

“Thought so.” Findekáno grinned and bumped his shoulder against him. “I know no one else who is as intensely private about his love life as you are. What are you hiding?” He became serious again. “Oh, it’s not because of...”

“No, you know very well I didn’t talk about it before, either. I’ve told you: With six younger brothers, you learn the value of privacy. I just... want to keep that kind of thing to myself. If I ever decide to marry someone, you’ll find out soon enough.” Which would never happen.

Maedhros realised that the music had stopped and that Makalaure and Daeron were glaring at each other. “I better make sure this doesn’t turn ugly”, he said and stood up, seeing with relief that Mablung was already moving in Daeron’s direction.

Later, when he’d made sure Makalaure wouldn’t go to seek out Daeron and ‘wipe that smug look off his face’, Maedhros snuk up to the back of Nolofinwe’s tent. His núro had let him know that there was a cleverly concealed entrance there, just for him. He slipped in and found Nolofinwe already in bed.

“My prince”, whispered Nolofinwe when he saw him and slipped out of bed to kneel before him.

He was naked and Maedhros felt his cock stir at the sight of the paling marks he’d left on his neck and thighs a few days ago. Maedhros threw a glance in the direction of the real entrance. There was another ‘room’ between them and the honour guard outside, but the walls were just made of fabric. He moved closer and pulled Nolofinwe’s head back by his hair.

He felt his núro shudder as he put his lips to his ear to whisper: “You’ll have to be quiet, núro. We wouldn’t want anyone to hear.”

“Yes, my prince”, answered Nolofinwe softly.

Maedhros kissed him slowly, raking his hand through his hair. “But you’d enjoy to be caught, wouldn’t you?” He whispered against his lips. “If your guards came in and watched me using you, you’d still be hard.” Nolofinwe moaned softly. “The High King of the Noldor put in his place.” Maedhros gripped his hair tighter and pulled him to his feet. “But we can’t have that. So for what I have in mind, we’ll have to sneak away.”

He grabbed Nolofinwe’s cloak and wrapped it around his naked form. “Put your boots on”, he ordered.

His núro blushed furiously as he led him through the folds in the fabric. The tent was in the middle of the camp and although it was late, there were still some people about that bowed to him. Maedhros hid his smirk, sure that Nolofinwe’s cock was hard under the cloak. He’d prepared something, not too far from the camp, but far enough into the trees that he hoped no one would fall over them at night.

The forest around the pools of Ivrin were mostly birch and beeches with a few oaks in between, little undergrowth. It felt light and airy, completely in counterpoint to its Sindarin name Núath (but then, Maedhros thought, it might simply mean that it was at the foot of the mountains).

The spot where Maedhros stopped was unremarkable in every way, Nolofinwe looked around with a slight frown but Maedhros decided he wouldn’t give him too much time to wonder.

“Get out of your cloak”, he said and backed Nolofinwe up against the trunk of a tree after he’d complied. “Now”, he fondled Nolofinwe’s cock – already hard and leaking, as he’d thought – and whispered into his ear, “we are not that far from the camp, so you’ll have to be quiet. We wouldn’t want someone to come running if they hear you scream.”

Nolofinwe whimpered breathlessly as he circled the wet tip with his thumb. Maedhros rubbed his own throbbing arousal against his núro’s thigh, desire rushing through his body. He kissed Nolofinwe’s neck before stepping back and retrieving a bundle of birch twigs he’d bound together and freed of their leaves earlier. Nolofinwe’s eyes went wide.

“Ever been beaten with one of these?”, Maedhros asked.

“No, my prince”, Nolofinwe croaked.

“We’ll start slowly then”, Maedhros said in a calm tone. “You know I would not harm you.”

“Yes, my prince.” Nolofinwe gave a short nod of his head when Maedhros held his gaze. No, he did not want to stop.

“Turn around, brace yourself against the tree.”

Maedhros admired the view as Nolofinwe spread his legs slightly, searching for a firm stand, the muscles in his back moving under his pale skin. Maedhros’s cock was throbbing in the confines of his trousers. He licked his lips, stroking the birch down his núro’s back.

Nolofinwe shifted, not scared but nervous about the unknown implement. Maedhros kissed his shoulder. “Do you trust me?”, he murmured.

“Yes”, Nolofinwe answered equally softly but without hesitation.

Maedhros started with light swishes, barely more than brushing the birch over Nolofinwe’s ass, interspersing slightly harder strokes, working up to an even rhythm. The redness spreading over his núro’s buttocks and his suppressed moans made his cock strain against his trousers, pleasant shivers running down his spine. He could see that Nolofinwe was still hard.

“You’re doing so well for me, my núro. How does it feel?”, he asked with husky voice.

“It stings, my prince”, his núro whimpered. Despite the cool night air, sweat was beading on his shoulders. “Please, more.”

Maedhros grinned, holding the birch between his handless arm and his body to be able to stroke the hair away from Nolofinwe’s face. He gripped his chin turning his head a little so he could kiss him possessively.

“I like to hear you say those words, my núro”, he crooned. “And I grant your wish.”

Nolofinwe chocked down a scream as the twigs connected with his backside again, biting into his skin. The strokes his prince was dealing out had become steadily harder. His skin was hot and throbbing in the same rhythm as his arousal. He moaned as loudly as he dared as more strokes came down, stinging and burning on his bruised flesh. He missed being able to scream his pain and pleasure. He was so close... he almost felt like he’d be able to come just from this beating.

He whimpered, moving into the touch as his prince squeezed his buttock. “I’ve forgotten how beautifully you suffer, my lovely núro”, he said, his arousal audible in his voice.

Nolofinwe heard the clink of a buckle, a moment later his prince ground against him, his hard cock sliding up his cleft. Nolofinwe whimpered as the friction made the pain flare up.

“Open the bottle for me”, his prince said, holding a phial before his face.

Nolofinwe did as asked, his hands shaking a little with excitement when he poured the oil into Prince Nelyafinwe’s palm.

“On your hands and knees, núro.”

Nolofinwe turned around and saw that his prince had spread out his cloak on the ground. He moaned as he slowly knelt down, the muscles of his thighs protesting against the motion.

“I wouldn’t want your delicate skin be scraped by the rough bark when I pound into you”, his prince said as he stroked himself.

Nolofinwe shuddered with want at the sight of the oil slicking his prince’s arousal. Nolofinwe moaned loudly when he slid home with one hard thrust, rocking him forward.

“Hush”, Nelyafinwe admonished. “As much as I love to hear you come undone under my hands, we can’t let anyone else hear it. Keep quiet or you won’t come today.”

Nolofinwe squeezed his eyes shut. His prince set an almost punishing pace, fucking him hard and fast, his fingers digging into his hip and his belly slapping against his burning skin. Nolofinwe stifled his moans on his forearm, his cock throbbing and leaking precum on the cloak.

His prince came inside him, breathing heavily as he slid out and lay down beside him. Nolofinwe remained as he was, shuddering with arousal as he felt his prince’s release trickle out of him. Nelyafinwe caught a drop off the tip of Nolofinwe’s cock and pressed it to his lip. Nolofinwe licked it off without hesitation, the taste only stoking his arousal.

“What a lewd sight you make”, Nelyafinwe whispered. “And for everyone to see who might come this way.”

He wrapped his fingers loosely around Nolofinwe’s cock.

“You have permission to move”, he said and Nolofinwe thrust into his hand, whimpering at how good it felt and yet was not enough.

“Imagine it, someone standing among the trees. Watching the High King of the Noldor being beaten and fucked by the Lord of Himring. Watching you now, your ass red and bruised and your hole open and leaking my seed and still hard. Thrusting into my hand so desperate for release.”

Nolofinwe bit down a moan when his prince’s grip became firmer, stroking him in the rhythm of Nolofinwe’s thrusts. His words were going right to his cock.

“Hearing you trying to stifle those filthy sounds I like so much coming from your mouth. I’m sure our watcher likes it, too. He’s stroking himself, as I do you, imagining how it would be to do the things to you, I’ve done, imagining how it would feel to fuck you after I’ve opened you up...”

Nolofinwe came over his prince’s hand, biting down on his forearm to not shout his release to the stars. 

His prince pulled him into an embrace as he came trembling down from his orgasm, holding him and stroking his sweaty chest.

“You were wonderful”, he whispered into his ear. “Everything and more that I imagined.”

Nolofinwe leaned against him, tired and happy. He knew they couldn’t fall asleep like this, here in the middle of the forest, but his legs didn’t feel like they’d carry him right at the moment.

“I hope there isn’t really someone standing close by”, he mumbled, though he didn’t feel particularly worried about it. He was sure Maedhros wouldn’t take the risk.

“There isn’t.” Maedhros laughed. “But you said the idea of it turns you on. Did I scare you with the birch rod?”

Nolofinwe shook his head. “I was a little... unsure about it at first. It looks scary, but you’ve been so attentive. As you always are.” He turned around to press a loving kiss to Maedhros’s lips. “I liked it.”

“Good.” Maedhros stretched with a groan. “We should probably see to get you back”, he said. “Before anyone finds your tent empty.”

“I had a hunch you’d seek me out tonight, so I told my guards I don’t want to be disturbed if there isn’t an emergency threatening the peace. But yes”, Nolofinwe sat slowly up, grimacing, “we shouldn’t push our luck.”

They walked silently back to his tent. Now that he wasn’t aroused anymore, the thought that someone might notice that he didn’t wear anything under his cloak made Nolofinwe feel nervous. But it was late and they didn’t meet anyone.

Nolofinwe quickly looked around before pulling Maedhros through the ‘back door’ and stealing a kiss. Maedhros hand came up to rub his neck and Nolofinwe moaned into his mouth.

“Good night”, he whispered as they separated.

“A moment, Nolofinwe”, Maedhros said, looking nervous. “I wanted to talk about something with you.”

“What is it?”, Nolofinwe asked, motioning for him to sit down on his bed and making himself comfortable beside him, trying to keep the weight off his sore ass. “You sound like it’s something serious.”

“It’s about Findekáno.” Maedhros was fiddling with a loose piece of skin on one of the scars on his stump and Nolofinwe reached out to stop him, linking their hands.

“What about him?”

“He told me, he’s feeling pressured to produce an heir and he’s feeling upset about it. I’m… worried for him and a little indignant that you’d let it come to this.”

“Oh.” Nolofinwe rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I’m not trying to force him into anything”, he said. “And I told him as much.” He looked down on their linked hands. The knowledge that he might have reacted less understanding to Findekáno’s lack of interest in sex, if he weren’t deviant from the norm himself, made him feel guilty. “I don’t expect him to find a wife against his inclinations.”

“Maybe you could also make that more clear to your council. Findekáno told me he feels harassed by them.”

“I didn’t know that.” Nolofinwe sighed. “I will bring this up at the next meeting. Thank you for telling me about this. I want him to be happy in the way that feels right to him.”

Maybe he should talk to Findekáno, too. Maybe it was just that it was easier for him to tell his friend about this instead of his father, but he didn’t want him to think that he wanted him to be any different from who he was. Maedhros smiled at him, kissing his knuckles.

“He told me you were on his side in this”, he said. “And I’m glad to hear that you really are.”

Maedhros sat down across from Nolofinwe, this time he’d invited him completely officially to his tent.

“Fingolfin?”, he said with raised eyebrows instead of a greeting and Nolofinwe felt his cheeks heat.

“Yes, well… Golfin sounds weird and I am High King. Do you mind?”

“No. Just took me a moment to realise they were talking about you. All these new names…” Maedhros gave him a wicked smile. “Prince Nelyafinwe might mind, though...”

“Oh?” Nolofinwe felt a shiver of excitement run through his body, pooling between his legs. 

Maedhros chuckled and bowed over, careful to not overturn one of the cups and carafes on the table between them. “He might think you need to be put in your place, a reminder of whom you serve. Would you like that?” His hand squeezed Nolofinwe’s thigh under the table.

“Yes.” Nolofinwe shuddered. “Later”, he whispered with trembling voice.

Maedhros nodded and moved back a little. “I’ll await you in my tent this time. When the moon is in its zenith. Don’t be late.”

“Yes, my prince.”

“So, did you want to talk about anything special when you invited me here?”, Maedhros asked.

“Not really, just wanted to spend some time with you. How are your brothers?”

“Well, for the most part. Ambarussa… he’s grieving in his own way, most of the time he’s living in the woods, I don’t see much of him.” Maedhros took a deep breath, looking at him with haunted eyes. “Do you think, he is in the Void, as we said in the Oath?”

“I hope not”, Nolofinwe answered, reaching out to squeeze Maedhros’s hand. “Is that even possible? I’m not sure why Feanáro said that. I hope both he and your brother are safely in Mandos.”

Maedhros nodded and gave him a grateful look. “We need to get the Silmarils back as quickly as possible”, he said. “Fulfil the Oath for them.”

“You know it’s not simple”, Nolofinwe answered. “He’s powerful. We need allies.”

It wasn’t, that he didn’t want to help — this feast was also an opportunity to win new allies — but he knew that they needed to bide their time. When they attacked Morgoth, it would need to be decisive, they couldn’t risk anything else.

Maedhros gripped his cup tighter. “I know.” He shook his head. “I’ve seen it from up close.” He laughed bitterly. “You are right, we can’t rush it. I just wish it were easier.”

“Yes.” Nolofinwe touched his fingers. “I understand. But we can not strike too early.”

He might not have forgiven his brother for his betrayal, but he did not wish him to suffer from the consequences of his ill-considered Oath. (No, he wanted to punch him in the face himself.) And his youngest nephew had never deserved such a fate.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” Maedhros smiled sadly. “I’m glad that you are at my side, you and Findekáno, someone who didn’t swear the Oath, who has his wits about him.”

Nolofinwe saw no guards in front of Maedhros’s tent as he went towards it. He must have dismissed them. An excited shiver ran down Nolofinwe’s back. They’d have their privacy — and he’d be put in his place. The tent flap was open and Nolofinwe looked inside. Maedhros was sitting on a folding chair, cleaning his prosthesis. A late dinner was ready on the table, only one plate. He smiled at him when their eyes met.

“Close the flap, I’ll be ready in a moment.”

Nolofinwe tied the straps that would hold the entry closed. Even if someone needed to see one of them, it would hopefully give them enough time to hide what they were doing. Maedhros put his prosthesis back on and stood up.

“Now, Fingolfin”, he said, stepping close and gripping Nolofinwe’s chin. “I think you’ve gotten a little full of yourself in my absence. I think, you need a reminder of who let you take the crown you seem so proud of. A lesson in humility.”

“My prince, I…”

“Ah!" Maedhros laid a finger on his lips. "Not a word.”

Nolofinwe gulped, his knees becoming weak. Maedhros started to deftly undress him. Nolofinwe’s heart sped up as both his hands stroked over his naked skin — one warm, one cool.

“Mine”, Maedhros said, squeezing his buttock that was still tender from their tryst in the woods a few days ago. “You are mine, Fingolfin, and that name is preposterous. Kneel.”

Nolofinwe went to his knees without hesitation, a spike of pleasure shooting through his body.

“Now, was that so hard?”, Maedhros asked with a smirk. “This is your natural place in the world, núro, at my feet.” The fingers of his prosthesis carded through Nolofinwe’s hair and he shivered at the unfamiliar sensation. “Is it not so, núro? Am I not your master? Do you not worship me? You may speak.”

“Yes, Prince Nelyafinwe”, Nolofinwe answered, his voice unsteady. “You are my master and I worship you.”

“Very good. I’ll make sure you don’t forget it, when people call you ‘king’ twice over in one name. Kiss my boots, Fingolfin.”

Nolofinwe felt his cheeks heat as he bowed forward to press his lips to his prince’s boot. Shame was curling in his stomach at the way Maedhros called him by his Sindarin name. It should have been a bad feeling, but it wasn’t, it made his cock fill.

“Very good”, Nelyafinwe crooned. “You look good doing that, Fingolfin.”

He continued to kiss his prince’s feet, tasting leather and dust, until he stopped him by stepping back.

“Look at me”, Nelyafinwe said and Nolofinwe lifted his eyes, apprehension welling up in his breast. How else would his prince make him pay for his pridefulness? Nelyafinwe gently touched his cheek. “You’re so beautiful, my núro. Now, lets eat.”

His prince pointed to the cushion beside his chair and Nolofinwe crawled over, kneeling down on it. His prince sat down beside him, patting his head.

“Not feeling so kingly now, hm?”, he said.

“No, my prince”, Nolofinwe answered. “I’m only your servant.”

“Good boy.”

Maedhros started to cut his meat, Nolofinwe marvelled at how deftly he used his artificial hand.

“Eat.”

Nolofinwe pulled the meat off the fork with his lips, chewing slowly. Feeding him was a way to put him in his place, he knew that, and it made shame mixed with arousal pool hot in his belly.

Maedhros leaned back, his plate empty. He looked down at his núro. Fingolfin. He huffed, knowing that Nolofinwe had already set a second Finwe before his name, when they’d travelled up the coast of Araman. He wasn’t angry about it — Nolofinwe was a natural leader and most of their people had followed him, not Maedhros’s father — but Prince Nelyafinwe could be and he enjoyed the opportunity to play with Nolofinwe. Maedhros undid the clasps that held his prosthesis in place and slipped it off. He felt better not wearing it when he was with Nolofinwe.

“On the bed with you, núro”, he said.

Nolofinwe obeyed quickly, eagerness speaking from his motions. He knelt on the bed, legs spread wide, open for him. Maedhros reached between his legs and squeezed his cock, drawing a throaty moan from his núro.

“Beg me to fuck you”, he whispered into his ear. “Prove that you’ve learned your lesson, Fingolfin.”

Nolofinwe shuddered beneath him.

“Please, my prince”, he said, his voice trembling. “Take your pleasure from me, find your release within my body. I’m yours, your servant, yours to use.”

Maedhros’s cock twitched at the words. He kissed Nolofinwe’s neck and undressed quickly, moving between his núro’s legs. Maedhros slid a finger into his oil-slick hole, moving it slowly in and out. Nolofinwe whimpered, moving his hips. Maedhros pulled out and slapped his buttock.

“Hold still, Fingolfin. It pleases me to take you slowly, don’t try to force my pace.”

“Yes, my prince, I’m sorry”, Nolofinwe gasped.

“Of course you are, however, I think, this proves that you haven’t learnt your lesson on humility, yet.”

Maedhros pushed his finger back in, moving it slowly. He took his time, adding a second one after a while, enjoying the whimpers he drew from him. By the time he aligned his cock with Nolofinwe’s entrance, his núro’s back was beaded with sweat and he shivering with need. Maedhros licked up his spine, from cleft to nape and felt him shudder violently. He grinned. How much he loved to see him so undone. He breached him slowly, stopping when barely the head of his cock was inside him, feeling Nolofinwe’s muscles quiver around him.

“Beg me again”, he said, gripping his núro’s hair and pulling his head back.

“Please, Prince Nelyafinwe”, Nolofinwe sobbed. “Please, take me. I’m yours. I’m yours!”

Maedhros slowly pushed deeper, holding on tightly to his self-restraint when all he wanted to do was to bury himself to the hilt in his núro’s quivering passage. But he loved to feel the shudders that shook Nolofinwe’s body, hear him sob and keen as he slowly rocked into him. He clamped his hand over Nolofinwe’s mouth, muffling his sounds. He’d sent his guards away and if anyone heard them, they probably wouldn’t think it was the High King of the Noldor making these (delicious, arousing) noises, but he didn’t want to take a risk.

“Yes”, he growled into his ear. “You are mine. My núro. Mine to use as I please.”

Maedhros groaned as a violent shudder made Nolofinwe’s muscles clench around him. He couldn’t stop himself then from quickening his pace, fucking him harder. The wooden frame of his bed creaking beneath them. He heard Nolofinwe cry out when he hit his prostate. His thrusts became jerky as his pleasure washed over him. He stilled, groaning into Nolofinwe’s ear, as he filled him with his seed and laid them down on their sides, taking care to not slip out of his núro. Nolofinwe was trembling, his cock dark and leaking pre-cum.

“This is what you are, Fingolfin”, Maedhros whispered into his ear, rolling a hard nipple between his fingers, “my servant, a willing sheath for my cock.” Nolofinwe’s muscles trembled around him. “You are here to serve my pleasure and if I decide so, you’ll leave this tent unfulfilled.”

Nolofinwe whimpered, arching his back as Maedhros’s treatment of his nipples became more rough. Maedhros saw his cock twitch, admiring his núro’s restraint.

“You are so beautiful like this”, he whispered into his núro’s ear, his own cock already hardening again in the warm confines of Nolofinwe’s ass. “If it pleases me, I’ll send you back to your tent, hard and aching for release, my seed filling you and running down your thighs. To contemplate your pridefulness.” He rocked his hips, his cock swelling.

Nolofinwe shuddered violently, uttering a breathless: “Please!”

Maedhros chuckled, deliberately misunderstanding him. “Oh, you want me to do that? But if you beg me for it, it is no punishment at all. No, I have a better idea. Tomorrow, when Fingolfin will take the oaths of those who follow him, he will know, who he bows to, because he’ll be sore from being fucked hard by his prince — and also because he’ll wear a plug up his ass that his prince put there.”

Nolofinwe knew he was making loud — and very undignified — noises, his face was buried in the mattress, muffling his sounds a little, but he didn’t care either way as his prince was pounding into him. His own cock pulsed in painful arousal, leaking pre-cum. He was shivering, his muscles spasming every time Nelyafinwe hit his prostate. His face was wet with tears of want. He held to any thread of self-restraint he possessed, because he knew his body would win over his mind, if he let go for just a moment — and that would mean disappointing his prince. He felt him jerk, felt him find his release inside him a second time, and sobbed as finally a hand wrapped around his arousal.

“Come”, his prince gasped into his ear.

Nolofinwe whimpered and sobbed as his release washed over him, painful in its intensity, his passage clenching around his prince’s softening cock. He felt Nelyafinwe slip out of him and slumped down in exhaustion, breathing heavily. Nelyafinwe peppered kisses on his shoulders, brushing damp hair out of the way and licking the sweat off his skin.

“Have you learned your lesson, my núro Fingolfin?”

“Yes”, Nolofinwe croaked. “You are my prince and I bow to you, your will is my command — and I serve you gladly.”

He threw Nelyafinwe a tired smile over his shoulder. Nelyafinwe chuckled.

“Very good. And so you don’t forget tomorrow, when everyone’s going to fawn over you…” He rummaged around in a bag beside his bed and pulled out a plug of smooth, shining metal. Nolofinwe tried not to tense at the burn when his prince worked it into his sore passage, still slick with his semen. “You know, I’ll be hard tomorrow, when I renew my oath to you. Knowing that my plug is up your ass, keeping my seed inside you.”

Nolofinwe shivered and moaned softly at the thought. Nelyafinwe moved up, his breath hot on his ear as he whispered: “Maybe I’ll pull you aside later tomorrow, when everyone’s too drunk to notice us gone, and make you suck me off.”

“Your will is my command”, Nolofinwe mumbled sleepily.

At another time he’d already be hard again at that idea, but right now he was simply too exhausted.

Nelyafinwe chuckled and pulled him into a loving embrace. “Did I tire you out, my dear?”

Nolofinwe nodded and fell asleep.

Maedhros kissed his sleeping lover’s forehead, Nolofinwe snuggled comfortably into him. He wanted to fall asleep with him in his arm, but he knew he couldn’t, chances that they would only wake up in the morning — to a camp searching for their missing High King — were too high. So he just lay there for a while, letting Nolofinwe have his rest after this intense scene. He hoped, he hadn’t been too rough or too focused on the name — he didn’t want Nolofinwe to think he was mad about it for real.

“It’s alright”, he said quickly when Nolofinwe woke and he saw the look of dread coming to his face. “You haven’t been asleep for long. Frankly, I’d love to let you sleep here, but I think that’s too risky.”

Maedhros rose to pour him a cup of water, sure that he must be thirsty.

“Thank you. Is Prince Nelyafinwe pacified by his servant’s obedience?”, Nolofinwe asked with a little smile.

Maedhros laughed, feeling relieved that he was joking about it. He filled a basin with water and washed them both with a cloth.

“He is for now. He might bring it up again, though, if he feels annoyed.”

Nolofinwe chuckled and kissed him. “That’s his right, I suppose. I love you, Maedhros.”

“I love you, too.”

Maedhros swallowed around the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. The festival was drawing to a close and he knew they’d be parted again afterwards. It hurt to think of it.

“I wish, I could stay”, he whispered.

Nolofinwe propped himself up on his elbows and caressed his cheek.

“Then stay”, he said. “We’ll think of an explanation.”

“I can’t leave my brothers alone.” Unsupervised. The Valar knew what ideas they’d get, if he wasn’t there to hold them back. “And also… I feel, that if He attacks, he’ll do so in a place like the Gap, where there’s no natural defence. I want to be close to that.”

“Yes, I can understand that.” Nolofinwe sighed as he stood up and gathered his clothes. “I’m just dreaming.” He smiled at Maedhros. “But we’ll visit each other, yes?”

“As often as possible.”

Though Maedhros knew that meant not very often. They both had responsibilities and they couldn’t risk to meet too frequently and draw attention to it. Nolofinwe had dressed and bowed down to give him another kiss.

“Good night, Maedhros. Sweet dreams.”

“Good night, Nolofinwe.” Maedhros smiled at him. “I’ll have those. See you tomorrow.”

They’d have a few more days together and Maedhros decided he’d concentrate on that instead of lamenting already about their parting.

Maedhros had returned to Hithlum with Nolofinwe and Findekáno, sending Makalaure ahead. There was no rush to return home — Morgoth was lying low — though he knew he’d have to eventually. But right now he wanted to spend a little more time with his lover and his friend — and maybe glower at a few elves who treated Findekáno badly.

He found Nolofinwe sitting in the library, turning a golden ring between his fingers and staring into space. Maedhros had only wanted to return a book, but now he sat down beside Nolofinwe.

“What’s wrong?”, he said gently.

“Today — at least I think so, considering the changing of our calendars — is the anniversary of my wedding.” He held the ring up between thumb and forefinger. “I haven’t worn it since the Prophecy of the North, when I realised we were well and truly sundered forever, but…” Nolofinwe met his gaze and there was pain in his eyes. “Will you hate me, if I say that I still love her?”

“No!” Maedhros reached out and squeezed his hand, suppressing a jab of jealousy. “I can’t hate you for loving the woman you married.”

He looked away, because it did hurt. Even when Nolofinwe said ‘I love you’ he was never sure how seriously he meant it.

“We have something different here”, he croaked.

Nolofinwe shook his head emphatically, moving closer to lay an arm around Maedhros’s shoulders.

“It started like that, but… I love you, too. I’m sad that Anaire stayed behind, but what hurts even more is that even if somehow we could be together again, I’d have to choose between you and her… and I couldn’t. I do not want to. I love you both equally.”

Maedhros gulped, tears coming to his eyes. It wouldn’t happen, they were exiled, but it mattered to him to hear Nolofinwe say that.

“You would go against the Valar’s ruling?”, he whispered, his voice deserting him.

“Yes. I do not think the Valar were right to force my father — or Míriel — into this decision. I would have you both, openly, if I could. But…”, he sighed, “I can’t, so it doesn’t matter what I want.”

“It matters”, Maedhros said. He wanted to pull Nolofinwe closer and kiss him, but he was keenly aware that they were sitting in a public place — he would not risk someone walking in on them again. “It means the world to me that you’re saying this. I love you, too. And I don’t want you to think that you have to hide it from me, when you’re thinking of Anaire.”

Nolofinwe shot a look at the door before kissing his cheek quickly. “Thank you. I know that can’t be easy for you.”

“She is not here”, Maedhros said. “And that’s painful for you, but for me that means I don’t have to worry about her. If she were here, we’d have to hide even harder. I always knew you were married, that is nothing new, and how could I wish you’d never met her if that would mean Findekáno would not be? I would be content to share you with her, though I’m not sure she would be. But as it won’t happen… it’s foolish to even think about it.”

“One can dream, hm?” Nolofinwe shrugged with a guilty smile. “I sometimes dream of announcing our relationship — not what we do in bed, but that we are a couple — to the world... It’s only a foolish dream of course.”

Maedhros felt his heart flutter. Yes, it was a foolish dream. The consequences… But he was happy that it was Nolofinwe’s dream.

“It’s a nice dream, even though it can’t be”, he answered. “Am I welcome tonight, even though it’s your wedding day? We don’t have to play, if you’re not in the mood — I could understand that. I’d just like to be with you.”

Nolofinwe nodded with a smile. “You are welcome. Though, yes, I don’t feel like playing today. I’d love to cuddle with you for a while.”

“Then I’ll be there to cuddle. Though I’m not sure how cuddly I am.” Maedhros looked down along his body, all sharp angles and firm muscle.

Nolofinwe’s suppressed laugh came out as a choked snort. “I’m sure we’ll make do.”

Nolofinwe snuggled into Maedhros’s side. He loved how much taller his prince was, how good it felt to be enveloped in his long arms. Maedhros’s fingers lazily drew circles on his shoulder as they rested together, their minds touching gently, dreaming the same memory.

“Is it hard for you?”, Nolofinwe asked softly, resurfacing from their dream after a long time. “Opening your mind to me, I mean?”

Maedhros shook his head. “It is a conscious effort to lower my guard, but I trust you. I don’t have the urge to hide myself from you.”

“I’m honoured that I have your trust”, Nolofinwe said. “And very happy that we can lie together like this. Just sharing a moment of peace… without the sex. I didn’t know I needed that, when we were still in Aman.”

“I always wanted it.” Maedhros kissed his forehead. “I didn’t dare to ask back then. But we are more than we were then, aren’t we? A couple, in some way.”

Nolofinwe could feel Maedhros’s heart speed up under his ear. “Yes”, he answered without hesitation. “We are. I love you. And…” He’d had it for a while, maybe now was the right moment to approach it. Nolofinwe reached over Maedhros’s chest to open the drawer of his bed table. “I’d like to have something permanent of you.”

He opened the box and showed Maedhros the metal rods inside. Maedhros started to laugh.

“Are those nipple piercings? For a moment I thought you’d had a ring in there.”

“Yes they are.” Nolofinwe blushed, only now realising how this might have looked from Maedhros’s point of view. “I’m sorry, if I got your hopes up.”

Maedhros shook his head. “You didn’t. I was a little scared, in fact. Marriage is… a step further than I think I could go, all things considered. I hope you don’t mind me saying that.”

“I don’t. I am already married. I mean… I’m not even sure how that would work.” Nolofinwe bit his lip nervously. He didn’t want Maedhros to feel less loved, because that wasn’t what he meant. He shook his head. “Anyway. Would you? Pierce my nipples?”

Maedhros grinned at him an circled one of them with his finger. “Yes. I’d love that.”

“Great.” Nolofinwe smiled back. “I love you”, he said again, meaning it with all his heart.

Nolofinwe stood at a window looking out on the plain, watching the small group of horses slowly become smaller. Letting Maedhros ride away again was hard. Their visits were so rare, they always needed an official reason as pretext to meet. He reached under his shirt, touching his sensitive nipple where it was pierced by a steel rod — at least he now had a permanent reminder of Maedhros on his body.

They’d always known they couldn’t live together, but seeing him go still hurt every time anew. He’d seen on Maedhros’s face that he felt the same, that he wished, too, they could find a place where they could stay together. But they each had their duties, it was only a fantasy. They’d have to make do with what they had and Nolofinwe was grateful for every day he’d been able to spend with him — but it was hard to feel grateful when he had to watch his lover ride away, knowing he wouldn’t see him again for years.