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chrissystriped has requested the following types of constructive criticism on this fanwork: Spelling, Grammar, and Mechanics, Style. All constructive criticism must follow our diplomacy guidelines.


The shadow pooled into the cup of his palm

I loved this image, the fact that he's so small that's all the room he takes, but also just the idea that he goes there, he pools there... ?

The rest is just so ???

But it has such a sweet, hopeful ending!

It felt like the right word (or in other words: Mairon insisted on this being the best word for describing what he was doing ;).) Yes, he's very small and very cold and even though he doesn't have a strong awareness of himself -- or maybe because he doesn't -- Eonwe feels like a safe person to be with.

Thank you for your lovely comment!

This was beautifully written and heartbreaking. There were some wonderful images, like Eönwë searching Mairon among the conifer trees, and how he takes Mairon’s shadow self on his palm. And carries him home, and gives him a place to rest and heal in his fireplace. The theme of remembering was very meaningful here. I loved how soft their relationship was, even after everything that happened, and even though Mairon had met another love, too (I enjoyed that there was this nod towards silvergifting).

Thank you! The mental image of Eonwe holding tiny shadow!Mairon on his palm was one of the first things that I knew about this fic. Eonwe has very tender feelings for Mairon, despite everything. Silvergifting is one of my favourite pairings to read, so I couldn't not put a nod to it in the fic. It's also why Mairon feels sad when Olórin shows him Narya.

This is so poignant, and very sweet. As the others commenters have said, shadow!Mairon cupped in Eönwë's palm is quite the powerful image (ironically).

It is so plausible that not only his memories since joining Melkor were destroyed with the destruction of the Ring, but also those parts of him that led to the creation of it. It's devastatingly sad to lose so great a part of oneself, but at the same time it's a great gift to be able to reboot completely from one's errors.

I really enjoyed the little details you allude to, and all the thoughts it sparks! Thank you!

He has lost a lot, but as you say, that might actually be a gift in his case. He can start anew, without his pride getting in the way. He'd have hidden from Eonwe, if his memories had been intact at the time. I think he might start feeling bitter about the loss of his powers, but Eonwe will do everything he can to not let him slide into darkness.