Fly Home, my Love by chrissystriped

Fly Home, my Love

Egalmoth sat at the shore of the pond and watched the swallows hunt midges over the water. They were as skilled hunters as his dear Duilin had been. Egalmoth’s sight became hazy and he wrapped the mourning veil that covered his hair and lay on his shoulders tighter around himself.

He’d come here to be alone, away from the bustle of the camp. Everyone of them had lost someone and he could not bear to see others grieve when his own grief weighed so heavily on him. He laid his hand on the wood of the bow that lay beside him — Duilin’s bow he’d taken as memento. He’d stood right beside Duilin when the balrog’s fiery bolt had hit him. Egalmoth sobbed.

They were shooting arrow after arrow as swiftly as they could, Egalmoth feared the moment when they ’d run out of arrows. He wiped the sweat from his forehead before it could run into his eyes and reached for another arrow. He hadn’t looked away for long, but it was enough to not see where the bolt that hit Duilin right in the chest had been coming from.

His husband hadn’t even had time to scream, the bolt had killed him instantly — and maybe that was a mercy, Egalmoth remembered the smell of cooked meat heavy in the air. He’d burned his hands on Duilin’s armour when he’d caught him to stop him falling from the walls.

Soon after their defence had broken, he’d had no chance to save his husband’s body, he’d only been able to take Duilin’s bow and run. And well had it been that he’d taken it, because his own bow had broken under the continued strain soon after — his husband had saved his life, even in death.

Egalmoth pushed the thought of his death aside. He wanted to keep his Duilin in his mind as he had been when they’d been happy. Laughing, singing, a happy glow on his face, surrounded by birds. Egalmoth looked at the swallows again. Duilin had loved them, they’d built their loam nests on his house — House of the Swallow indeed — and he’d been able to sing their song, had tried to teach it to Egalmoth, though with little success.

Egalmoth pursed his lips and tried to imitate the swallows’ chirps and trills. He didn’t think he’d done that well, but to his surprise one of the swallows flew over and landed beside him, cocking its head and looking at him with a beady black eye.

“You should have seen my love”, Egalmoth told the swallow. “He was so beautiful and happy and he could sing. Not like me, really, truly sing. But he’s gone. Gone to Mandos across the ocean where I can’t follow.”

At least he hoped so. Sometimes he thought he heard Duilin’s voice on the wind, could almost see him in the corner of his eye, felt his hand touch him. But surely he’d not refuse the call of Mandos? But what if he had? What if he was trying to stay with him? Egalmoth shook his head. No, he couldn't have that. Duilin should go to Mandos and be in time reborn, even if hat meant, he'd never see him again.

“Please, love”, he whispered into the soft evening breeze. “Please, do not haunt me, go and find peace in the West.”

It broke his heart again to send him away, even if he didn't really know if he was even there, but he knew it was the right thing to do. Duilin should not stay behind as a houseless spirit, unable to be reborn. The swallow sang a trilling note and flew away west. Egalmoth followed it with his eyes.

“Guard him well, dear bird. Be save, my love.”

Chapter End Notes

Written for Scribbles & Drabbles 2021 for https://archiveofourown.org/users/XirinOfArvada