Oh, this is lovely! I'm writing a poem about Beleg's feelings for Turin (or trying to), and I thought I'd read something of what others have said - and your writing is, of course, like poetry! 'He is a starless night', indeed - what a perfect thought for Beleg to have. And I especially love this:

'Túrin lifts those stormy eyes to him again, their glance impossibly old and sad for one so small.'