The Line of Elros by oshun
Fanwork Notes
Fanwork Information
Summary:
Major Characters: Major Relationships: Genre: Challenges: Rating: General Warnings: This fanwork belongs to the series |
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Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 100 |
Posted on 12 January 2017 | Updated on 12 January 2017 |
This fanwork is complete. |
Chapter 1
Read Chapter 1
The laugh lines around Elros’ eyes were etched in white from a week’s exposure to the sun. Those days on the beach for a king and his family were as beloved as they were short. Their youngest son ran shrieking into the surf and out again, wet skin and bright hair shimmering in the afternoon light.
“Sometimes he reminds me of Elrond,” Elros said. “My brother was a great squealer when it came to playing in the waves.”
“You played on the beach at the Havens?”
“Never that I recall. But Maglor liked the shore wherever we could get close.”
(1) Comment by IgnobleBard for The Line of Elros [Ch 1]
This is a sweet scene. You managed to capture the character of Elros' face in a few words and his love for his family with the drabble as a whole. And you managed to work in a childhood memory that is very real and organic to the story. Beautiful.
Re: (1) Comment by IgnobleBard for The Line of Elros [Ch 1]
Aww! You are awesome. I was terrified. I think it is almost impossible to write a drabble worthy of the name. So you thought it was OK! Thanks.
(2) Comment by Himring for The Line of Elros [Ch 1]
Lovely--and it puts a somewhat different spin on all that wandering by the sea!
Re: (2) Comment by Himring for The Line of Elros [Ch 1]
Thank you! Thrilled to death you picked up on that. I dropped it in there on purpose!
(3) Comment by mor2904 for The Line of Elros [Ch 1]
Lovely scene, full of sweet memories.
And it's very visual, too: the beach, the waves, the child's hair shining in the sunlight...
I liked it a lot.
Re: (3) Comment by mor2904 for The Line of Elros [Ch 1]
You are so kind to leave such a lovely comment. I am very insecure about drabbles. For me they are almost impossible to write. (Always asking: why would this not be better as 1,500 words or so?) Thank you.
(4) Comment by Dawn Felagund for The Line of Elros [Ch 1]
At first, I almost fell out of my chair to see that you'd written a drabble! :) But this totally does what I think effective drabbles do: There is just so much going on between the lines. There is the suggestion of joy with Maglor that lacked with his biological parents. There is, of course, the foreshadowing of Maglor's eventual fate.
And of course it is hella cute to imagine the luminary Elrond as "a great squealer" at the seaside! :D
Re: (4) Comment by Dawn Felagund for The Line of Elros [Ch 1]
Thanks, Dawn, you're great.
On Elrond so glad you liked it--'No Man is a Hero to his own Valet.' Montaigne -- coming from a big family I am well aware that no one is a luminary to a sibling, least of all a twin!
(5) Comment by Lotrfan for The Line of Elros [Ch 1]
You convey so much on so few words. I love that you have given Elros a hallmark of mortality when describing his face.
and the venerable Lord of Imladris a squealer!
Referencing Maglor by the shore made my heart hurt.
Re: (5) Comment by Lotrfan for The Line of Elros [Ch 1]
Thanks for reading and for the great, perceptive comments. You focused on the exact things that I hope a reader would notice! Thanks again!!
(6) Comment by Narya for The Line of Elros [Ch 1]
This is lovely - so sweet, and filled with nostalgia and sadness too, with Elros's memories of Elrond, and Maglor's attraction to the sea. You do so much with so few words - I am in awe, and a little envious at the same time! I had to read this a few times to savour it properly, it's gorgeous.
Re: (6) Comment by Narya for The Line of Elros [Ch 1]
Oh! Thanks so much! I am long-form writer actually and the drabble was quite a challenge. Thank you for visiting it and letting me know it worked for you! I'm thrilled.