Teler by Dawn Felagund

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Fanwork Notes

I am not a poet. However, since the Duel of Songs challenge was my idea, then I feel it's only right that I contribute. And, since I am not a poet, then I appreciate feedback, including concrit, with no need to be gentle.

The ideas about light being freely available at one time upon Arda is explicitly expressed in The Book of Lost Tales and to a lesser degree in The Silmarillion. It's a concept that hasn't left me alone for the better part of the year.

Fanwork Information

Summary:

After the Darkening of Valinor, a Telerin Elf looks back at the days of light. For National Poetry Month.

Major Characters:

Major Relationships:

Artwork Type: No artwork type listed

Genre: Poetry

Challenges: Duel of Songs

Rating: General

Warnings:

This fanwork belongs to the series

Chapters: 1 Word Count: 356
Posted on 7 April 2008 Updated on 7 April 2008

This fanwork is complete.

Teler

Read Teler

Teler

It used to be
That I would row out far from Eldamar
Until my arms grew weary,
And I could row no more.
And upon tossing seas,
To Uinen, would I pray for
peace
calm
Until the only sound was the sough of my heartbeat
And the wind's slow hand passing across the water.

It used to be
That far from the light
(Light?)
of Valinor, that which was long ago taken
From the gold-illumed pools
Of Light spilled across the earth by Eru
And shimmering in the airs like a thousand lanterns--
Yes, far from that light that was taken
and owed
By and to the hands of the Valar,
and confined to Valinor
That I would lift my oars into my boat
And look at the lights in the water.

The stars? you ask,
Those devices of Varda
Fair-wrought, long ago?
Yes, in a way. Yes, but lovelier than that too.

It used to be
That, with my back turned to Aman,
I could gaze upon the windless sea,
And those lights high above
That we would later judge too meager,
Having grown greedy of light collected,
captured
(and hoarded?)
Would be caught in Ossë's hand.
Would be caught on the tip of each wavelet
Spread thin
Until the whole sea blazed with starlight
And even Uinen's touch could not restrain the sea
From leaping and dancing in the glory of that Light!
I--leaning upon my elbows, face fallen forward--
Thought,
This is the world
As it was at its beginning,
As Eru meant it!
Until a cold slap of water, upon my face,
Wakened me from my reverie.
And the trickle of water down my cheek, running home to the sea,
Sounded of Ossë's laughter.

So I released my oars,
and turned back.
To a land called Paradise,
But not as it was meant to be:
Not light, caught behind walls.
For a moment, I paused, oars caught up.
There were the Pelori,
Trapping Paradise behind them,
A cage without bars,
A black clot on the horizon
without even stars
That we would one day judge too meager.

And I rowed home.


Comments

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I find that people who claim that they are not poets often write the best poetry.  This was no exception.  The word flow was raw and realistic, but still beautiful.

My favorite part was probably:

The stars? you ask,
Those devices of Varda
Fair-wrought, long ago?
Yes, in a way.

I would critique you if I could, but honestly I can't think of anything at the moment.  This was just lovely.

Thank you, Feta! Poetry intimidates me, to tell the truth, and as a writer, I am not used to being intimidated by words. I was certainly going for a raw feeling; hence, I chose free-verse when it is much easier for me to work in the constraints of rhyme and meter. (In my non-Tolkien writing, I just did a piece in the style of the medieval poem \"Pearl.\" *headspin* Talk about precise poetry!) Anyway, while I\'m open to concrit, I also don\'t mind hearing that a person enjoyed my work, so thank you for reading and letting me know. :)