Comments on Loyalty: A Tale in Three Voices

The Silmarillion Writers' Guild is more than just an archive--we are a community! If you enjoy a fanwork or enjoy a creator's work, please consider letting them know in a comment.

Two excellent chapters, g_g!   Very fine writing that pulled me right into the story and leaves me eager for more.  Tókhesh and Uldor's voices are distinctive and strong, and there's plenty of good world-building there in just two chapters.  Not surprisingly, I am *all* over the potential identification of the malady and its treatment.  I really enjoyed your depictions of the borderlands of real-world/Other interactions - the arrival of the spirit-servant of the Lord of the North (love the title!) and her offer

That the Lord of the North offers to aid a desperate people gives so much authenticity to Lúpentho's (?) decision to give Melkor what he wants, that he makes this decision for the good of his tribe.  In this way, one can understand and feel sympathy for Uldor, Tókesh, and their clan.  You shatter the dichotomy that is often depicted in Tolkienian fan fiction between Good™ and Evil™, and aptly show that these these moral quandries fall on a spectrum of greys.

Very well done!  I look forward to more!

Thank you so much! This is such a nice review, and I'm really glad you're enjoying the story. :D  Lúpentho is indeed Ulfang; I was a little worried about all my Lu- names getting confusing, but I figure if we can keep all Tolkien's Fin- characters straight, the Lu-s shouldn't be so bad. They'l switch to Ul-s once Caranthir comes in anyway.

Just imagine Morgoth and Sauron hidden deep in their secret laboratories, creating malicious protazoa. ;)

Ah, so Tokhesh is going to act as interpreter? That should certainly give her a good view of what is going on, even if she isn't involved in the decision-making!

I suppose Morgoth came up with the malaria in the first place, not just with the cure?

I wonder what they will make of the Noldor when they actually meet them.

This is definitely one of my favourites that I've read here. I love that you bring so much depth and life to a culture that's little more than a handful of words in Tolkien's work. Especially fond of how you delve into the linguistics and how the Elves always use their own names for everything (very Greek and Romanesque of them, really...)

Anyway, great to see a new chapter! Even though I'm late. ;-)