This is priceless! The recipe is still understandable, but it sounds SO Fëanor. ("I have turned my hand to many of them." The asides about kids. The comment about the yeast. The comparison of kneading to working in the forge. "Hollow as the empty heart of Melkor.")

I may need to try the recipe, given I have somehow ended up with more milk than I am likely to use before it goes off unless I broaden my usual repertoire...

Oh, this is great!  Thank you, both to you and to Fëanor!

Delightful! I love how you balanced the voice of Fëanor with the style of a foodblogger. I'll be sure to try this recipe as soon as yeast is available in stores again. :D