Sirion by Grundy

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Choices of the Peredhil

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Elros didn’t want to admit it, even just to his twin, but he was afraid. Very afraid. Nothing about today had been remotely normal. True, he usually liked the new and unexpected, but this was too much of a good thing- if it had ever been a good thing in the first place. All of the unexpected new things today had been unnerving.

The most unsettling, though, had been when Elrond had come back into the cave and yelled at him not to go out of the cave.

Then he had thrown himself down and cried.

Elros didn’t know what to do, and that was bad. He was the older brother, even if it was only by several minutes. He was supposed to take care of Elrond and keep him out of trouble. Instead, it was usually Elrond who wound up taking care of him. And now Elrond was crying, something he never did anymore. Even on the rare occasions when he was hurt, it was unusual for him to cry this much.

Elros sat down next to his brother. While the cave had been like an adventure at first, he was tired, hungry, and cold. He wanted nana to come get them – she would know what to do. She always did. But she wasn’t here, so he’d have to do his best. He put a tentative arm around his brother’s shoulder, unsure if Elrond would push him away.

He could feel his twin’s troubled emotions rolling over him like storm-churned surf. Elrond was afraid, too. It had taken all his bravery to go look outside, because he had already suspected that something was wrong. Whatever he had seen – and he had locked it up tight in his mind – was worse than he’d braced himself for.

“El, please don’t,” he begged, his own voice shaky. “We’re together, and we’ve done what Nellas and Aunt Lalwen said. We’ll be safe here. If Nellas can’t come for us, we’ll wait for Aunt Lal or Uncle Celeborn and Aunt Galadriel. Like you said, elves can go much longer than this without food.”

He had a disagreeable feeling that even grown elves couldn’t go nearly as long without water as without food, though. And he knew enough to know you couldn’t drink sea water. He quickly squashed that down where his brother wouldn’t notice it. Elrond was upset enough already.

“Think how cross Aunt Galadriel will be with whoever kept Nellas from coming back like she said she would,” he added hearteningly. “It’ll be much worse than the time we tried to sail out into the bay on our tree trunk boat!”

Really, he thought that boat had been rather well made. And they hadn’t meant to go far, just to see how well it would float, so the adults’ reaction had been very much out of proportion. It wasn’t as if he’d intended to go chasing his father into the unknown West.

The only answer he got was a sniffle.

“It can’t be that long. A day. Two, maybe. We can camp for a day or two. Nellas brought our blankets and pillows. I guess she didn’t have time for our mattresses, but we can pretend we’re camping out in the forests of Doriath like Uncle Celeborn used to.”

He wasn’t really sure if forests were like caves, or if maybe forests also had caves, because he and Elrond have never been anywhere but Sirion. He couldn’t rightly count his steps this morning like he usually did, not with Nellas moving so fast he could barely keep up, but he felt like it wouldn’t take very many more to be the furthest away from home he’s ever been.

Home’s gone, El.

His brother’s thought was so quiet he isn’t sure he heard it right. Maybe he wasn’t meant to. It would be like Elrond to try to keep something he knows will hurt away from him.

“Home’s gone?” he repeated, stricken at the thought that such a thing is even possible.

Sirion was huge! It couldn’t all be gone, could it? Maybe the Enemy the grownups sometimes talked about swooped down from the North and gobbled it all up? Was that why nana and Aunt Lal looked scared this morning? And if home was gone – did that mean nana was, too?

Elrond sat up, his face red and tear streaked from crying.

“Of course it’s not,” he said thickly.

But Elros was paying close attention, and he could both feel the lie and see that his twin couldn’t meet his eyes.

Home is gone, he repeated silently to himself.

He wondered if there was a limit to how cross Aunt Galadriel could get. He was certain that whoever did this will be in the most trouble ever. He’s not sure even the Enemy would be safe from her wrath.

“Ok, home is gone,” he said. His voice has gone a little funny, but maybe Elrond won’t notice. “But there’s still Balar. Uncle Celeborn will come for us.”

He wasn't really sure where Balar is, but he was sure of their uncle. Nothing will stop Celeborn once he knows they need him. He’s usually so jolly that people forget he’s a skilled and fearsome warrior at need.

“Only if he knows where we are,” Elrond replied quietly.

It’s like his twin was voicing his own worst fear. They’d been rushed here so quickly, nana can’t possibly have had time to send a message to their aunt and uncle. And if she left a message at home, Celeborn won’t be able to find it because home is gone.

But Celeborn has to come for them …

“Aunt Galadriel will find us,” he said, impressed with how very certain he could make himself sound. “She always does. That’s why we never play hide and seek with her anymore.”

Elrond nodded after a moment of thought, leaving Elros pleased with his own quick thinking.

“You’re right, she always knows where we are, even if she pretends not to so we get to play a little longer.”

Elrond was starting to look a little calmer. Elros tried to take comfort in that. It was something, at least. He could be braver if Elrond wasn’t crying.

That’s when someone the twins didn’t recognize entered.

The elf standing there was the tallest person Elros had ever seen, and for a moment he had the wild idea that perhaps it was the Enemy himself come to take them away like he took home away.

Elros stepped protectively in front of his brother, prepared to do whatever a six year old maybe not quite elf could do to defend him against someone so much bigger than they are.

But then the stranger spoke, and while his voice was unhappy, he didn’t sound mean.

“There you two are,” he said. “We’ve been searching for you.”

A somewhat shorter elf, but still very tall, followed him in.

“We are your cousins, little ones,” he said, sounding relieved. “We’ve come to take you home.”

Elros frowned. This didn’t sound right to him. Someone was lying, and on balance, he was pretty sure it was the people he hadn’t met before. Elrond rarely lied about anything, and certainly never about something as important as this. His twin was regarding both newcomers suspiciously.

“Elrond said home is gone,” he said cautiously.

The two elves exchange a glance. Elros realized to his surprise that they were having the kind of silent conversation he often had with Elrond.

“Elrond is unfortunately correct, Elros,” the shorter elf said sadly. “We did not wish to shock you with such upsetting news.”

“Is Nellas dead?” Elrond asked abruptly.

Elros blinked in shock. While he knew that elves could die – he and Elrond have grown up hearing whispers about the fall of Gondolin and Menegroth, and how many of their kin died at both- he can’t believe it. Not Nellas. Nellas- fierce, funny, warm-hearted Nellas who has always told them that she would keep them safe no matter what- can’t be dead.

Once again, the two unknown elves glance at each other.

“Yes,” the tall one said flatly. “So is Aunt Lalwen.”

Elros frowned, thinking hard. He didn’t like to think about Nellas and Aunt Lal being dead, so he didn’t. He focused on the newcomers instead.

These elves called Aunt Lal ‘aunt’ also. So maybe what they said about being cousins was true. He hadn’t known he had grown cousins. Actually, he hadn’t known they had any cousins but King Gil-galad, and he’s still not quite sure how Gil-galad is their cousin, much less King when nana is Queen. But maybe it’s right, because Aunt Galadriel was also Gil-galad’s aunt… so that made sense. At least, he hoped it made sense. He’s had to think about a lot of difficult and confusing things today, and he’s not as good at thinking as Elrond.

“Are you Aunt Galadriel’s sons?” he asked, trying to puzzle out the relationships.

For some reason both elves laughed at that. The tall one looked surprised at his own laughter even while he laughed.

“Oh, if Artanis could have heard that,” the tall one murmured.

“No, Galadriel is also our cousin,” the shorter one said. “I am Makalaurë and this is Maitimo.”

“Maedhros,” the tall one corrected immediately, looking as if the word was an insult instead of a name.

Elros blinked.

From the whispers they had overheard the last few weeks, he had gotten the idea that Maedhros was some sort of monster. But this elf doesn’t look like a monster. True, he was missing a hand, but old Tarlancil had only one foot from where a wolf bit him so bad they couldn’t save the other one, and he was nice enough. He taught them games he said the elflings had played in Menegroth.

“How can you be our cousin and Aunt Galadriel’s?” Elros asked skeptically.

“I suppose the family tree is a bit complicated,” Maedhros snorted, “but rest assured it is true.”

“Where is nana?” Elrond said suddenly, still sounding very unlike himself.

Elros looked nervously to their new cousins for the answer. He had gotten a horrible cold, painful feeling earlier in the day, while Elrond was sleeping. He had clung to his brother until it passed, but when it did, they had both felt a little sick, and unlike what usually happened when they felt sick, he had felt no concerned touch from their naneth. It had also occurred to him to wonder where nana was if home was gone…

“She is gone, little one,” Makalaurë said quietly, sounding very old in the way the elves who could remember Menegroth and Gondolin used to sound sometimes.

“Gone like Nellas?” Elrond asked shrilly, sounding so panicked that Elros pulled him into a tight hug without even thinking, and glaring fiercely at their cousins for upsetting him.

“No, Elrond, not like Nellas,” Makalaurë said immediately, looking as if he would have liked to reach out to hug him as well but wasn’t sure if Elrond would let him.

“But gone, and she may not return for a long time,” Maedhros broke in.

“Gone like adar, you mean,” Elros muttered.

He had only vague memories of his father, a tall man with golden hair. Elros thought his father used to tell them stories, and he was pretty sure they went walking on the beach together once. He’s not sure how long adar has been gone, only that nana’s answer to when he will come back is always ‘soon, I hope.’ He privately agreed with the adults he’s overheard who think it scandalous for Earendil to leave his young sons and wife as he had.

“I suppose so,” Maedhros said, sounding uncertain.

Maybe he doesn’t remember when Eärendil left either, Elros thought.

“In any case, you cannot stay here,” Maedhros continued. “I see someone has packed some things for you. We must get back to your mother’s house and pack a bit more, and things for Glinwen also.”

“Glinwen is coming with us?” Elros asked excitedly. She was his favorite babysitter, much more fun than Aunt Lal or Nellas, who made them do boring lessons. She knew many good games.

“Glinwen is waiting outside,” Makalaurë said bracingly “She is the one who thought this was where you might be. And she’s been very worried about you, too.”

He moved to draw the two elflings to their feet, but Elrond pulled Elros back out of reach.

“Nellas said we weren’t to leave the cave unless it was her, or Aunt Lalwen, or naneth, or Aunt Galadriel or Uncle Celeborn telling us to come out,” Elrond snapped accusingly.

Elros was shocked to hear his normally well-behaved, obedient twin talking to a grownup like that.

El, they’re grown elves, he pointed out quietly. And our kin. That means they’re in charge.

We’re princes of the Sindar and the Noldo, Elrond retorted heatedly. They’re not allowed to tell us what to do. We’ve never even met them before today. Nellas and Aunt Lalwen both said stay! And nana told us to listen to Aunt Lalwen!

“I don’t think Nellas was expecting that neither she nor Aunt Lalwen would be able to come back for you today,” Maedhros said slowly.

To Elros’ surprise, he did not comment on Elrond’s rudeness at all, even though Elros did not think that Maedhros was the sort of elf who normally tolerated anyone being rude to him, least of all elflings.

“And while it is wise of you to obey what you were told to do by your elders, I should not like to explain to your Aunt Galadriel why you were left alone in a cave until she could get here, which may not be for some days.”

“If you have never seen it, you should know that Galadriel can get very angry when people do dangerous things,” Makalaurë added. “And you two staying alone in a cave at your age would certainly be dangerous.”

Elros could see Elrond chewing on his lip. He’d been doing that a lot today before all the crying.

I’d rather whoever took home away be in trouble than you, El, he thought to his brother. Remember how cross Aunt Galadriel was about the boat, and that wasn’t nearly as dangerous as staying here by ourselves would be. There could be wolves. Or orcs.

Elrond’s shoulders sagged. Elros could feel his confusion and bewilderment. They had no good choice. On the one hand, it truly wasn’t safe to stay by themselves – they were only six – and there were adults here telling them to come. On the other hand – disobeying their mother and great aunt and going with elves they had never seen before who could be lying about being kin. Either choice was trouble.

But Elros couldn’t help feeling that even if they weren’t kin, Maedhros was right that Aunt Lalwen hadn’t been expecting to leave them alone. She certainly hadn’t expected Nellas to die, or to die herself. And if these two meant them harm, they could have just killed them and been done with it – or left them here for orcs or wolves or cold or hunger instead of trying to find them.

“You promise we won’t be in trouble with Aunt Galadriel if we come with you?” Elros asked, trying to make things easier on his twin.

“Elros, if anyone is in trouble, it will certainly be us, not you two,” Maedhros said, looking like he might laugh again.

Elrond nodded at last and moved to pick up the pack Nellas had carried, but Makalaurë got it first. Maedhros brought Lalwen’s pack.

Then, to Elros’ intense embarrassment, Maedhros picked him up as well.

“We’re not babies!” he said indignantly. “We can walk!”

It was one thing from Nellas and Lalwen, but another altogether from cousins they’d only just met! Even if it did mean he was suddenly much taller than usual – and under any other circumstances, with a cousin he had met before, he might well have pestered for such a treat.

“I don’t doubt it,” Maedhros replied, not putting him down. “But I wish us to get back to your mother’s house as quickly as possible. It is dark, the weather is turning, and the tide is coming in. I want you someplace safer than a sea cave.”

Elros noted that Elrond was not protesting being carried. His defiance had evaporated. If anything, he seemed somewhat relieved, snuggling into Makalaurë.

I don’t feel good, El. And I don’t want to climb those stairs in the dark, Elrond explained. It was scary enough going down them in the daytime.

Elros sighed, but gave up. He knew he would not win with two cousins and a brother all in agreement.