The Meanings We Give, The Light We Find by Nienna

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Fanwork Notes

"There has been a comparatively greater portion of good queens, than of good kings."

-Sarah Moore Grimké

Reply to the Question: “How Can You Become a Poet?”by Eve Merriam

take the leaf of a tree
trace its exact shape
the outside edges
and inner lines
memorize the way it is fastened to the twig
(and how the twig arches from the branch)
how it springs forth in April
how it is panoplied in July
by late August
crumple it in your hand
so that you smell its end-of-summer sadness
chew its woody stem
listen to its autumn rattle
watch it as it atomizes in the November air
then in winter
when there is no leaf left
     invent one

Fanwork Information

Summary:

In a world newly wrought, Yavanna ponders all the ways in which the world is being brought into being, and her place in it.

Major Characters: Nienna, Valar, Yavanna

Major Relationships:

Artwork Type: No artwork type listed

Genre: General, Slash/Femslash

Challenges: Rise Above

Rating: General

Warnings:

Chapters: 1 Word Count: 457
Posted on 2 May 2018 Updated on 2 May 2018

This fanwork is complete.

The Meanings We Give, The Light We Find

The perspective is a "young" Yavanna.

Read The Meanings We Give, The Light We Find

When first I was brought into Arda, I did not know what to make of it. All was barren and cold and... lifeless. Nothing like the colorful world Eru had shown us. As for why I chose to enter in the first place? I suppose I felt rather lost, just existing out there. I thought that perhaps to enter Arda would give me a sense of purpose and offer some adventures to fill my heart. And truly, I want to work for this world, to shape it into being. But I had not expected it to be so dreary and dull.

Still, the land is a rich brown, the sky is a bright blue, and we are slowly shaping it into someplace wonderful. Ulmo has already begun taking the water and molding it into rivers, lakes and seas, becoming one with it as they tunnel throughout the earth. Manwë has taken to the air, to the wind, to the vast skies.  And Varda has seated herself with Manwë, though it is not to the wind but to tiny pinpricks of light that she turns herself to, that she creates.

"Why do you think she chose her lights, as opposed to something more practical?", I ask Nienna.

"For she understands that Others will come, others who will need something to give them meaning in a dark unknown world.  She understands that we all must have something on which to latch our understanding...and our hope," Nienna replies.

Nienna's words are wise, and I lay back and ponder them as I look up at the skies.  It is still bright enough that Varda's lights are not yet visible. But then, I think, just because you can't see something doesn't mean it's not there. I think that maybe, in order to understand the world, you must become it. Become the wind and the rain. Become the creature alone in the dark. Become the earth itself, solid in it's motion. I reach my hands into the dirt, letting it crawl up my arms and fly over my body.

Nienna doesn't know what her calling will be either.  She seems content with finding new understanding each day, and with letting the world paint her, as she feels everything so deeply, the true embodiment of all the griefs and dreams of Arda. Perhaps that is her purpose. Perhaps she doesn't need to search, for it was there all along. Perhaps she is just Nienna, and I am just Yavanna, discovering this world together.

Nienna reaches out to take my hand. We just lay there for a while, letting the feeling wash over us, as the sky turns to black and the lights of Varda appear, as if they were tiny glimpses of a world unseen. 


Chapter End Notes

As this is taking place during the Years of the Lamps, the stars would not seem to have as much of a practical purpose as they do in the Years of the Trees, what with the world being very lit up.

This story... took some big turns while being written and  didn't end up fitting my prompt too well. It is much more strongly inspired by the Legendarium Ladies April prompt shown above. However, I do think it fits the Rise Above challenge as a whole, because the characters are trying to understand the world and their place in it, which is what science is really about, at it's core. Therefore, they could be considered "women in science", if the definition is taken very, very loosely.


Comments

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I liked this, especially the concept that the stars are for the consolation of the Children. Also, the concept of the Valar "becoming" the world is intriguing, as it takes Tolkien's conception a bit farther than the original (as far as I remember). In fact, it reminds of the Aedra in the Elder Scrolls games universe, who basically gave their existence to give it to the world. Is something like this what you meant, or only the fact that the Valar were tied to Ëa after entering it?

I'm sorry I took a little while in responding. Thank you for commenting! I really love the idea of the stars as consolation for the Children, and it is a concept I keep coming back to(in the very little that I have written.) 

As for the Valar "becoming" the world, I actually do think there is some degree of canon support for this concept. "But this condition Ilúvatar made, or it is the necessity of their love, that their power should thenceforward be contained and bounded in the World, to be within it for ever, until it is complete, so that they are its life and it is theirs."-Ainulindale " But mostly Ulmo speaks to those who dwell in Middle-earth with voices that are heard only as the music of water. For all seas, lakes, rivers, fountains and springs are in his government; so that the Elves say that the spirit of Ulmo runs in all the veins of the world. "-Valaquenta (Emphasis my own.)

 In my mind, the "spirit of Ulmo running in all the veins of the world," sound like he is the water, as it runs its course through all the depths of Arda. So that's really what inspired it. I suspect this is mostly headcanon, but I do feel that Tolkien's conception does contain the concept of it.

As for the Elder Scrolls universe, I know nothing about it so any resemblence was purely unintentional. I didn't really mean that the Valar "gave their existence" for the world, more that they are continually creating it and forever apart of it's being.

Thank you for commenting!

Yes, I have a special fondness for the Valier. Someting about them just fascinates me. Even the ones about whom we hear almost nothing,(I'm thinking Nessa,Este etc...) the little bit that we do here is so intriguing.

I'm so glad you appreciated the ending!

Thank you for commenting!

I really like that line too. I enjoyed writing Yavanna's perspective here, very introspective and yet with a sort of youthfullness to it.

I am so glad you found this lovely!

Author's Response:

Thank you for commenting!

I really like that line too. I enjoyed writing Yavanna's perspective here, very introspective and yet with a sort of youthfullness to it.

I am so glad you found this lovely!