Expecting. by ford_of_bruinen

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Fanwork Notes

Double drabble written for the anniversary contest.

Fanwork Information

Summary:

Miriel spends a morning by the foot of Laurelin, thinking of the son she is carrying.

Major Characters: Míriel Serindë

Major Relationships:

Artwork Type: No artwork type listed

Genre: Fixed-Length Ficlet

Challenges: Anniversary Contest

Rating: General

Warnings:

Chapters: 1 Word Count: 199
Posted on 29 September 2007 Updated on 29 September 2007

This fanwork is complete.

Expecting.

Read Expecting.

The air is cool, autumn came swiftly this year, but the sun shines, the wind is resting and I am happy. Leaning my back against Laurelin's trunk I rest a hand on my stomach, smiling as I feel him stir, kicking my palm. I know that I carry a son, just as I know he will look like his father, raven hair and silver eyes, as strong and tall as a young tree. He will be beautiful.

Around me the gardens are quiet, peaceful. I come here as Laurelin wakes, whereas others  -  expectant mothers like myself comes in the evening, to rest in the cool light of Telperion. Their children will be less than mine, I do not carry a night-time child but one of fire, of passions such as our people has never seen.

Beside me my work lies untouched, a half-finished gown made, not in the soft pastel colours in which one usually dresses a babe,  but in scarlet and gold with a thread of blue for Finwe's house. Colourful and strong. I close my eyes, weary but content. In winter,  before the seasons turn again, I will bear my fiery child and life will change.

Comments

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What a great ficlet Uli! You created a beautiful portrait here of Miriel and to see this sliver of her motivations is a treat. I just can see her sitting there as the High Queen of the Noldor under Laurelin, consciously aiming to give her unborn son all the qualities he will need to be a good and strong leader, a beacon for those who will follow them. This also shows the ambitious side of Miriel (I really like that) and what she wants for her kid, but also setting things in motion that will become her own undoing. It’s obvious to me where Fëanor got his pride (but then they do claim that sons take after their mother in character...)!

I may be reading too much into this, but I liked the sentence structure you used here... long and elaborate, and still rather simple... it makes Míriel's voice very strong and still conveys that "primitive innocence" of the Eldar that Tolkien valued so much. With Míriel's foreknowledge of her son, I wonder if she is aware just how much life will change, especially for herself...

"Their children will be less than mine, I do not carry a night-time child but one of fire[...]." - absolutely wonderful. I think this is the strongest line in the story - it implies so much we know about the Spirit of Fire, and very much reminds me of your poems. I wish I could say more right now, but that would require a very thorough interpretation of the story (and that would include many of my ramblings) - it is so packed with motives - the half-finished gown, the fire symbolism, the colors, Laurelin itself, autumn - without being overdone or clichéd (an easy trap to fall into when writing about the Feanorians!) that I probably will come back and read it again and again (this was, I think, the fourth or fifth time I came back) and still find something new. There is a whole world just beneath the surface of your words, and as an archaeologist in training (and a student of literature!) I can't wait to excavate it! 

 Truly magnificent and impressive. Thank you for writing this.

Thank you veyr much for the very lovely feedback.

 I write drabbles and double drabbles much the same way as I write poetry so I am not that suprised if there are resemblances between the two. I just really enjoy writing them and playing with getting the right lanagauge that I want and a sentance structure that 'flows'.

This feedback makes me smile every time i iread it so once again thank you

 

*hugs* 

Uli 

You described so well the concept of the prophetic "mother names" of elves in the line:  "...their children will be less than mine, I do not carry a night-time child but one of fire, of passions such as our people has never seen." 

Miriel is a big "what if" for me--how different things would have turned out if she had not decided to "die".  Thanks for this piece about her.