Gathering the Heroes by Moreth
Fanwork Notes
Warning for terrible humour.
Fanwork Information
Summary: Written for B2Me Prompt 2: "What is the most tedious, routine work that you have to do?" Túrin gets a really long and tedious job! Major Characters: Túrin Major Relationships: Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover Challenges: B2MeM 2009 Rating: General Warnings: |
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Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 435 |
Posted on 26 May 2009 | Updated on 26 May 2009 |
This fanwork is a work in progress. |
Chapter 1
Read Chapter 1
Túrin sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. It was barely noon and already he was starting a headache. He was thoroughly tired of interviewing would-be heroes who wanted to participate in what Námo was calling 'The Mother of All Battles'. The tedious detail of command had never sat well with him while he lived. It was no better now he was dead.
Túrin scanned the man entering the office. Large, dangerous, moody. Well, weren't they all. This one was nearly naked and heavily scarred. Túrin sighed again.
"So, uh..." He flipped through the dossier. "Errm. I'm sorry, we don't seem to have a name for you."
"You won't have, cutter," replied the man. "Lost it. Threw it away. Don't remember it. The Nameless One, that's me."
Túrin stared at the warrior blankly. Really, it seemed like every one of them had some personality disorder and here he was trying to decide whom to select. He gave a mental shrug. So far they had a man who claimed to be a bat (although Túrin thought he might have misunderstood something there), and a loremaster with the unlikely name of Obi-wan. A pity he'd had to refuse that polite man with the metal allergy but, given the reputation of the smiths for adding strange alloys to the armour, it was best to be on the safe side. And, of course, that spider-person was just unsuitable.
"The Nameless One?" Túrin shook his head. Of all the pretentious names he'd heard, that had to be right at the top. "Very well. It says here you fought in The Blood War. Twice?" He raised an eyebrow.
"You've got the dark of it, cutter," said the man. "Fought this type of war across all the planes. Chant on the street is you bashers need to scrag a power." He paused as he ran a tattooed finger over a scar on his cheek. "Thought I'd be offering my services."
Túrin waited to see if he would continue. He didn't. So, another irritatingly arrogant bastard. Still, Túrin's professional opinion was that he could fight and not back down. He should fit right in.
Pushing the sheaf of notes Námo had referred to as 'a welcome pack' across the desk, Túrin gave a thin smile. "Welcome aboard," he said. "Oh, and you might want to call at the smithies." His gesture took in the man's scarred chest. "Find yourself some armour."
As The Nameless One rose to leave, Túrin consulted the list of applicants before him. "Would you mind sending in a Mr. Howlett on your way out?" he asked.
(1) Comment by Ithilwen for Gathering the Heroes [Ch 1]
Terrible humor indeed! (In the best sense, of course). This is a very amusing sillyfic.
Re: (1) Comment by Ithilwen for Gathering the Heroes [Ch 1]
Thanks, Ithilwen! I am afraid that story broke out of the cage and ran amok ;P
(2) Comment by Robinka for Gathering the Heroes [Ch 1]
Ha! Moreth, this is priceless! You've chosen a perfect man to have him deal with those would-be heroes. I can so see him sit there and interrogate them :D
A stroke of comic genius. Thank you!
(Btw, I would really love to see Turin and Geralt meet. That would be *something*).
Re: (2) Comment by Robinka for Gathering the Heroes [Ch 1]
Being the hero at the end of time? Not all it's made out to be on the job description ;P I'm glad it amused! And yes, I do have a plot bunny re. Geralt... Heeeh :D
(3) Comment by Angelica for Gathering the Heroes [Ch 1]
I never sympathized with Turin much (being inclined towards dragons myself) until I read this story. What a list of applicants! I particularly liked the man with the metal allergy.
Re: (3) Comment by Angelica for Gathering the Heroes [Ch 1]
He really has his work cut out for him I think! I'm glad you liked it :D Thanks!
(4) Comment by whitewave for Gathering the Heroes [Ch 1]
Poor Turin. Is the recruitment of troops part of his punishment? ;-)
Re: (4) Comment by whitewave for Gathering the Heroes [Ch 1]
LOL! He probably feels like it is! I'm glad it entertained :D
(5) Comment by Raksha The Demon for Gathering the ... [Ch 1]
Very clever - I don't know the Nameless One, but I loved the allusions to Batman and Obi-Wan. Wonder how Turin will get along with Wolverine...
Re: (5) Comment by Raksha The Demon for Gathering the ... [Ch 1]
The Nameless One is kinda like Wolverine, but with more scars and a worse attitude ;P Poor Túrin will have his hands full keeping that crowd in order! Thanks for commenting :D
(6) Comment by Aiwen for Gathering the Heroes [Ch 1]
Turin dealing with paperwork. Why don't more heroes have to deal with paperwork?
Re: (6) Comment by Aiwen for Gathering the Heroes [Ch 1]
I agree wholeheartedly! No admin work, no shiny bright sword... Thanks for dropping by and commenting :D