Letters by chrissystriped

Chapter One

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His Royal Majesty
Nolofinwe Finwion
High King of the Noldor

 

My King,

my brothers and I reached the east of Beleriand. Enclosed you’ll find an updated map of the area. We started the building of fortresses on the hill Himring as well as at the Aglon pass and the work proceeds well.

Carnistir came across another people on an exploratory ride further east. They call themselves Khazâd and claim to have been created by Aule. They speak Sindarin and seem to have a trade agreement with King Thingol. I have seen some of their works and think it prudent to aim for friendly relations with them, their skill could come in handy.

There’s an icy wind blowing here. Angband is always in sight, but that’s why I wanted to be in this place. I won’t let Him out of my sight.

Your loyal servant,
Maedhros Feanárion
Prince of Himring

---------

My Núro,

I hope you recovered from our last night together. I often think of how your skin turned red and hot under my hand. The sounds you make when I fuck you accompany me in my dreams.

I miss you. But we’ll have to content ourselves with letters for now. I left you a chest with toys, you should have received it after my departure, and you still have the plugs. As agreed, I’ll give you tasks. You will only come if I give you express permission. Should you make a mistake, I expect you to write about it in your next letter and I will give you a fit punishment to complete.

My first task for you is to continue training with the plugs. I want you to wear them longer and longer until you are able to wear them for a whole day. Then, on a day of audience you’ll put in a plug, I allow you to choose the size. You’ll wear it through the audience and afterwards when you write me about it.

I look forward to your next letter.

I hold you in my thoughts,
Prince Nelyafinwe

 

~*~*~

 

My esteemed Prince Nelyafinwe,

I received the chest. As you ordered him to, one of my servants delivered it to me on the day after your departure.

I wore the plug for you today, my prince. I got up early this morning to have time to prepare. I became hard as soon as I started to stretch myself with my fingers and imagined it were yours opening me up. The thought to let others see me in this state, even if they wouldn’t know, let me blush, but I dressed myself in my formal robes, the silk of the undergarment slick and cool on my arousal and put the crown on my head.

I couldn’t forget the plug the whole day. It is still inside me, stretching me, making me shiver with every movement. Arousal rushes through my body and my cock throbs. I was already sweating when I sat down on my throne, and was sure that my subjects could see the redness on my cheeks. It aroused me to wear a sign of your ownership, in front of everyone but hidden. I was not always successful to keep my mind on what was said, but I finished the audiences dutifully. By the time it was over, I was shivering and drenched in sweat and hurried to walk to the privacy of my office.

Now I sit at my desk, my undergarment is wet where my cock is pushing against it, it slides over my tender skin, making me shiver. My whole body feels very sensitive, I can feel the seams of my clothes, the soft silk on my nipples. The temptation to touch myself is almost overwhelming. Just a few strokes to relieve that aching desire. My body is shivering, I’m sweating. I wish you were here, my prince. I wish I could feel your hand on my skin, your cock inside me – or your stump. I hope this account is pleasing to you.

Most faithfully yours,
Nolofinwe

Chapter Two

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My dear Núro,

your account pleased me very much, it’s kept me company for a few nights now. I think of you a lot. I imagine your beautiful, soft, black hair sliding through my fingers while you sit at my feet. You are relaxed, leaning against my leg and your hair shines in the candlelight. You will find hair soap in the package attached to this letter. It is made with pine oil, we traded the Laiquendi of Ossiriand for it. I like the smell and I hope you will, too.

(I wish, I could bring my thoughts directly to the paper. I want to be more elaborate, but my hand is not very cooperative...)

I imagine other things about you, too. I imagine pulling you on my lap, touching your skin, sliding my hand down your body, not quite touching your cock. I hear your strained breath, feel your muscles tense in anticipation. I pinch your nipples and hear you whine. Can you feel it, yet? The scene? Will you continue it for me? You are allowed to touch yourself, while you imagine it, but only if you can stop before you come.

You are always in my thoughts,
Prince Nelyafinwe

 

~*~*~

 

My esteemed Prince Nelyafinwe,  

your gift was very much appreciated. It smells deliciously and makes my hair soft and silky as you like it. I sat in the bath, lathering my hair and imagined it to be your fingers sliding through my wet tresses, massaging my scalp and neck.

I’ll gladly continue your fantasy, my prince. I’m painfully hard for my prince, every touch making me shiver. My nipples smart from your touches. You lick over one before tugging on it with your teeth and I gasp. My erection throbs. Your hand slides down to my thigh, first caressing, then pinching my tender skin. I wreathe in your arms, moaning, a few tears in my eyes, but oh, it feels so good! Finally your hand wraps large and warm around my cock and I arc my back. Your skin is smooth with calluses from training with the sword. Your thumb slides over the head before you lift it up to my lips. You slide your thumb into my mouth and I taste my own desire. I shudder when you grip my hair and pull me to my feet, leading me to the bed. I spread my legs, eager for you inside me and you enter me with a long thrust. Your breath is hot against my neck. I move with you, quicker and quicker until you find your release deep inside me. I like to think that you would allow me release after you’ve come, but I won’t presume to write it down like it was a fact, my prince.

I’m touching myself now, although I know I’ll have to stop in a moment so I don’t break your order. It feels good, my body longing for this kind of touch, but it is also torture because I always have to keep in mind, that I need to stop before I reach a point where I can't anymore. My body trembles in despair when I pull my hand away. I want so much! But I hold firmly in my mind, that I'm doing this for you, my prince. It makes me feel good to know that you'll be pleased with my obedience.

Most faithfully yours,
Nolofinwe

Chapter Three

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My dear Núro,

I’d love to see you come undone, while I stroke your cock. You make such delightful sounds when you are close. And that look on your face... I might let you come after that. I might also let you wait a little longer...

There are some candles in the chest, you will need them. Also have a bucket of water ready, just in case, I wouldn’t want you to burn to death in your own bed. Light the candle and dribble the wax on your skin. Oh, the thought of your smooth skin flushed and covered with wax is a delight! If you had this done to you before, you will know what feels good to you, if not, try around. If I were there, I’d put the star of my house on your skin in red wax. I’d be very impressed, if you managed that. I want you to bear this for me, the pain and the pleasure that is its own kind of torture when unsatisfied. Stop before either of it becomes unbearable.

I want you to think of me, how proud I am of you for enduring this for me. I enjoy the thought of you aching for me.

You are always in my thoughts,
Prince Nelyafinwe

 

~*~*~

 

My esteemed Prince Nelyafinwe,

I enjoyed the wax very much and thank you for this task. I did have something like this done to me before, but it was very different. It was more about art for my partner then, than about the pain. I was lying prone on the bed and he used different coloured candles to paint a picture on my skin – it was strangely erotic.

I put the candle in a candlestick, so it won’t fall over so easily. (The water was in easy reach, though I’m glad I didn’t need it. That would have been embarrassing to explain!) As you know it is a new candle, so I wait until a little amount of wax has melted, pleasant excitement warm in my belly. My cock is already starting to harden. I let the first drop of wax fall on the middle of my chest, it is warm but there’s no bite behind it, so I lower my arm a little and let the next drops fall down from less height. I soon find the right height for the perfect balance of pain and pleasure and paint a few stripes on my chest, feeling my cock harden even more.

(I tried the star but I’m afraid it came out rather wobbly. I humbly beg you for a punishment, fitting my dreadful lack of skill. Clearly all artistic talent was bestowed on your branch of the family.)

The cooling but still warm wax pulls on my skin and I wonder how it would feel on my nipple – so I try. I cry out softly at the sharp, hot pain but after the initial flare, the pulsing of my skin under the hardening wax feels deeply arousing. I stroke my cock. It’s been so long since I have come and the thought of just continuing is oh so tempting. But I think of you and your words and that I’d feel guilty if I broke your order. So I stop and the thought of you being proud of me somewhere far to the east warms my heart and gives me a satisfaction not entirely unlike an orgasm.

I continue to lie there for a while, letting my excitement cool down a little before I peel the wax off my skin. I hope there’ll be the opportunity in the future for you to put the star on my skin. The thought feels odd – it is Feanor’s sign. But it is also yours, and that’s the thought I want to dwell on.

Most faithfully yours,
Nolofinwe

Chapter Four

Warnings for this chapter: mention of past-rape; suicidal thoughts; mention of mercy killing

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My dear Nolofinwe,

I decided to send this letter after all. I can’t live with keeping it to myself, and thus not trusting you. I know you won’t turn away. I’m sorry for the smudged state and the strange letters. It is a writing system invented by a Sinda but I first encountered it being used by the Khazâd. Its straight lines are easier to write for me. I’m not sure you’ll even be able to puzzle it out. I’ll attach a list showing corresponding cirth and tengwar.

I feel better now. Maglor made me drink something that brought me sleep. (I hate taking drugs, they make me helpless, but they helped.) I’m sorry I can’t play today, I still feel too raw but the world seems brighter after a good sleep. I hope this won’t startle you too much. I have bad days sometimes. My brothers find reasons to check on me regularly, so I’m not alone. Please don’t worry.

I love you,
Maedhros

 

I can’t sleep. I’ve been awake for days now, but I can’t close my eyes without His haunting me. Last week a patrol brought in an elf – from Angband. Again. He’s not the first ‘escapee’ finding their way to Himring. He’s sending them to mock me. Their minds are broken. I can see it in their eyes. I can see that it’s Him talking, even when they beg me to help them. It’s no longer them in there. I know it. I felt it myself. Sometimes I wonder, if I’m still trustworthy. Maybe He’s just playing with me, too. Maybe He’s just waiting for the right moment to turn me on my own people. But he doesn’t have to, does he? I betrayed you before...

I killed him myself, like the others. It’s the only mercy I can give them. And it is a mercy. To die in the open, under the clear sky. I have to tell myself that. I have to remember that this blood on my hands is not my fault, it’s His...

I wish you were here, Nolofinwe. Not to dominate. Not today. There are times, when your submission gives me strength. But today I wish I could lay my head in your lap and feel your hand stroking my hair. I want to cry like a child and believe it when you tell me that I’ll be okay – we’ll be okay. And I want to fall asleep in your arms and feel save.

I’m so tired...

I’m pathetic. You don’t come to me to carry my burdens. I fear you’d turn away in disgust if you could see me now. I’m an impostor. I’m not your Prince Nelyafinwe...

They call me strong for surviving. I don’t feel strong. How was it strong to let Him rape me, let Him live out his sick desires on me –  continung to torment me with these poor, broken souls. I’m so afraid to recognise one of them. He kept the soldiers taken with me alive, did I tell you that? He would hurt them if I defied him or made a mistake. What if he sends one of them to me like this?

I’m a kinslayer. I still slay my kin. Does it make it any better that I do it out of compassion now? You must hate me so much. I hate myself, this broken body, this broken soul. I just want to vanish. I think of the Oath a lot. The everlasting darkness doesn’t sound so bad sometimes.

 

 ~*~*~

 

Dear Maedhros,

I’m very much worried about your letter. I’m also relieved that you trust me enough to show this to me and I want you to know that I am by your side. Always. I’m coming. I will tell my people that you invited me to inspect the fortress, to make it look official, so better be prepared. Expect me in about three weeks.

I love you,
Nolofinwe

---

Chapter End Notes

Nolofinwe is on his way to Himring now, so cronologically it continues with the next story in the series called 'Always there for you'.

Chapter Five

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My esteemed Prince Nelyafinwe,

I arrived safely at home. Did poor Makalaure get over his embarrassment yet? I’m not. I feel my cheeks heat every time I think of him seeing me in such a position. My only consolation is that Findekáno wasn’t with him and I trust Makalaure will know to keep quiet about it. It wouldn’t do for more people to find out. (The fantasy of you dominating me in front of other people, on the other hand, I find deeply arousing. Make of that, what you will, my prince.) 

On another note: The Star you put on my chest with that plant paste is still visible, I sometimes trace it, when I lie in bed at night. Remembering our last time together. It feels good to bear your mark on my skin, being yours. I hope you are sleeping well.

I love you,
Nolofinwe

 

~*~*~

 

My dear Núro,

I know I already said it, but I want to write it again: I’m glad you came. Your presence gave me some badly needed rest. Makalaure knows to hold his tongue. I explained how things are between us and he thinks us – well, mostly me – quite mad, but he can keep a secret. 

I’m glad to hear the star still remains. I wish I could show it to everyone. I could do that here, you know? My men are absolutely loyal to me, they would not try to come to the rescue of your honour. I’d love to have you kneel beside me at dinner, wearing nothing but your skin, the mark of my ownership red on your chest. I’d feed you little morsels from my own hand and your tongue would tickle my fingers. My guards and attendants would watch you as I guide you over my lap. They’d hear your sweet cries as I spank your ass. They’d think how pretty you look, your skin flushed. I’m sure some of them would be aroused as I make you straddle my lap and enter you and they’d like to take a turn, but you are mine alone. I might share the sight of you, but not your body. And what a sight that would be: Your skin flushed and pearls of sweat running down your chest, your cock hard from the spanking and the feeling of me spreading you. And the knowledge of being watched – I’d tease you with being aroused by flaunting your submission to me before my men, but I’d enjoy it, too, to know that they can see that you are mine. I’d let you ride me for a while before laying you on top of the table and fucking you hard. And now our watchers would have the pleasure of hearing you moan and cry out my name. They’d surely think me a very lucky man to have you as my willing plaything.

I’m not going to lie. There are nights when I wake, drenched in sweat and think myself back in Angband. I often haunt the fortress through those nights, because I’m too afraid to fall asleep again. I wish then you could be here to hold me. It helps to think of your love for me. I will never doubt that again. And it helps, too, that Findekáno is here, he’s found me walking the dark hallways once or twice – as if he felt my need – and talked with me through the rest of the night. He wants me to wake him, if I need company, but I don’t want to deprive him of his sleep. It’s enough that one of us is restless. I will weather this. I have my family and He is not going to win. I won’t let him.

It is dinnertime now, so I’ll end this letter. I know you wouldn’t want me to skip a meal and I’m trying to be more attentive of my eating habits. (That, in fact, helps, too. Going to bed not hungry seems to keep the nightmares at bay.)

I love you,
Nelyafinwe Maedhros

Chapter Six

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My esteemed Prince Nelyafinwe,

I regret to have to write you of a transgression today. I don’t want to make excuses but want you to know that I didn’t mean it to happen. I had an erotic dream of you and when I woke I realised that it had had a physical effect. The sheets were damp, I had come in my sleep. I respectfully ask you for a fitting punishment, my prince.

I humbly remain your núro,
Nolofinwe

 

~*~*~

 

My King,

I’m happy to inform you that Curufinwe invented a system of movable letter blocks that makes it possible for me to write my letters more quickly and legibly. I’ll send you a set of tengwasse and a setting device at your disposal. It works similarly to woodblock or copperplate print with the difference that the letters can be changed and reused for a different project. You will find that my letters to you will now be longer than before as this is much more comfortable for me than to write with my left hand.

[...]

 

My Núro,

I acknowledge that you fell victim to the reaction of your body and didn’t defy me wilfully, your punishment will be lighter for it. Take a handful of wheat grain and scatter them in a corner of your room. Undress and kneel on the grains. Lace your hands on your back and lean your forehead against the walls where they meet. Hold this position for a quarter of an hour. 

I expect a report.

In the attached package you will find an item that will stop such a slip from happening again. I’m ordering you to wear it at night so your body won’t cheat you again.

I want you to remember that I love you. After you carried out your punishment, I want you to wrap yourself in a warm blanket, drink a hot cup of tea and remind yourself that although I can’t be there with you, I would hold you now and tell you that I forgive you and what a good boy you are.

With the strongest assurance of my deep affection for you,
Nelyafinwe

 

~*~*~

 

My esteemed Prince Nelyafinwe,

below I give you my report of the execution of the punishment you placed on me and I humbly thank you for it.

I kneel in a corner of my bedroom, in the position you ordered. It is winter and cold in this corner, despite the fire in the hearth. My knees hurt where the hard grains dig into my skin. My whole body tenses with the pain, my breath short and laboured. I want to move, shift my weight to ease the pain a little, but I don’t. I earned this punishment because I couldn’t control my body and I will bear it. 

I have to brace against the wall to get up, when the time is up. I wipe a few grains off that still stick to my knees, they left deep grooves, and hobble to the armchair in front of the fireplace. A blanket and tea are already prepared. At first I didn’t understand why you gave me these orders, but now I do. I long so much for you that my heart hurts. I know you would have lifted me up and carried me to the armchair, if you were here. You would have wrapped me in the blanket and murmured sweet things to me. My knees throb painfully and I curl up, the hot cup between my hands. A few tears run down my cheeks, but the memory of your words give me strength. (Do you know that I read your letters so often that I know them by heart?) It has been so many years. The letters help, but it is not enough.

I’m full of longing for you,
Nolofinwe

Chapter Seven

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My dear nephew,

please find attached an invitation to a feast I will hold for all elves of Beleriand. It is my intention to strengthen our bonds where they already exist and make new alliances. You and your brothers, who will receive invitations of their own, are cordially invited.

Your Uncle Nolofinwe

 

~*~*~

 

My King,
dearest uncle,

my brother Makalaure and I humbly accept your invitation to the feast and hope we can strengthen the bonds in our family this way.

Your servant,
Lord Maedhros of Himring

 

 

My Núro,

I will send message, before I arrive. When you greet me, I want you to wear the cock cage and the middle-sized plug. I look forward to have you at my mercy again.

Your Prince Nelyafinwe

---

Chapter End Notes

Next up: another in-person story

Chapter Eight

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Dear nephew,

 

I was very surprised to find upon Findek áno’s return, that he had acquired a baby somehow while visiting you. He is very tight lipped about how this came about, only told me that the mother was dead and the two of you found the little one in the woods while hunting.

He lets people believe that he’s the natural father, but to me he admitted that this was not so. It is obvious that he loves the child and I have to admit, that little Ereinion — what a name… couldn’t you have dissuaded him from that? — has stolen my heart, too. He is a cheerful child and growing fast.

I will let Findekáno have his way, the child is his son now, but I’d really like to know more about his mother, if you can provide such information.

 

I hope this letter finds you well,
Nolofinwe

 

~*~*~

 

Dear Uncle Nolofinwe,

 

or is it ‘Fingolfin’ now? As you wrote your letter in Quenya, I suppose you are as disgruntled about Thingol’s decree as I am. I do speak a lot of Sindarin with the elves of Beleriand, it is only courteous to do so, but I will not have my language taken away from me! Does he not know that his brother speaks the very language he is trying to forbid? Is he going to outlaw my father’s script next?

Anyway, that was not, what you asked.

I ’m afraid I promised Findekáno my silence, so I can’t tell you more than he already did. But I can confirm, that the mother is dead and that there’s no way of finding out if he has any surviving relatives, she wore no clan markings when we found her dead in the snow.

I ’m glad that you are in agreement with Findekáno’s decision. He loves you, he would not want to disappoint you with his actions.

Pertaining to the name: I tried, but Findekáno is as stubborn as his father. I could not change his mind.

 

Best wishes,
Maedhros

---

Chapter End Notes

This is a short sfw kind-of-epiloge to the letters because I wanted to write about Nolofinwe's reaction to Gil-galad and it didn't fit in anywhere else.
Next part of the series (which is already written) is going to be the aftermath of the Dagor Bragollach, I'm afraid. But afterwards we move on to them being reborn (which I still have to write in large parts, so it might take a while).

If you want to know more than Nolofinwe about Gil-galad's parentage in this 'verse, you can find my fic about Maedhros and Fingon finding him here: https://www.silmarillionwritersguild.org/node/4585