Always there for you by chrissystriped

Chapter One

Warnings for this chapter: talk about suicidal thoughts and eating disorder

Read Chapter One

‘Please don’t worry!’, Nolofinwe thought as he was riding up the mountain to reach the fortress.

How was he not supposed to worry at a letter smudged with tears and containing such dark thoughts? The things that had slowly unfolded while he transcribed it had made him shiver. He’d immediately decided to ride to Himring. As much as he’d wished to gallop at full speed towards the fortress, he could not let show that this felt like an emergency to him. Everyone else thought it was an official matter of state. A vassal lord inviting his High King. He’d only let on to Findekáno that he’d gotten disturbing news about Maedhros and his son had ridden ahead with his personal guard. It would have been proper to leave the Crown Prince behind to rule in his stead while he was gone, but Findekáno had been eager to visit his friend for a while now and he knew Maedhros would feel better with him around. He’d left Turukáno in charge instead.

Finally he was here – and it was cold. A wind was blowing from the north. The fortress looked imposing, made of grey stone and standing on an outcrop that commanded a view far into Ard-galen and what lay beyond. Maedhros had put himself on the very frontline.

He waited for him in the courtyard. Bowing to him and coming over to hold his horse’s bridle when Nolofinwe dismounted.

“My king, I’m happy to receive you in my home”, he said. “Rooms are made ready for you, if you wish to refresh yourself. May I show you to them?”

“Yes, thank you. Please lead the way.”

Nolofinwe followed Maedhros as his people were brought to their own rooms.

“Findekáno arrived earlier this week”, Maedhros said. “What did you tell him? He seemed overly worried.”

Nolofinwe shot him a look. “Did you expect me to just shrug this letter off? I told him I had information that you weren’t well and I’d be glad if he rode ahead.”

“You shouldn’t have. Not that I’m not glad that you are here – you both – but... I’d had a few bad days when I wrote that, that’s all.”

Nolofinwe looked up to Maedhros and saw the dark smudges under his eyes.

“You still aren’t sleeping well”, he stated.

“Nightmares”, Maedhros mumbled and wouldn’t meet his gaze. “Not in the hallway, all right?”

Nolofinwe agreed with an nod. Yes, this was not a conversation to have where everyone could overhear it. Maedhros let him into a sitting room that was surprisingly comfortable considering the forbidding look of the fortress’s exterior. There was a fire burning in the hearth, a comfortable couch before it and hangings on the wall that had been brought over from Aman.

“Findekáno has his rooms on the other side of the hallway”, Maedhros said. “I got Makalaure to talk him into going on a hunt with him. He’s barely left my side since he arrived and as much as I love him, I needed a little time for myself - especially when news came that you'd be here soon.”

“Come here”, Nolofinwe embraced him tightly, rubbing his back soothingly. “Do you really think you can’t let go in my presence, because I want you to dominate me when we play? Do you really not know that there’s more to us?”

“I know”, Maedhros whispered and leaned against him. “I do. But sometimes... I get dark thoughts. I wonder why anyone would want anything to do with the broken mess I am.”

“Because we love you”, answered Nolofinwe. “Because we want you to be well. I enjoy it, when I can submit to you, but I would never force this on you, if you need something else.”

Maedhros smiled at him with teary eyes. “Thank you. I... it feels good to hear that from you.”

“That’s why I’m here.” Nolofinwe stroked his cheek. “To make you feel better, even if you insist you’re fine. What do you need from me, Maedhros?”

“Listen to me?” They sat down on the couch, still holding each other and Maedhros started to talk: “I thought I could keep it in. I need to, because I don’t want my people and my brothers to doubt my decisions or to be hostile towards the escapees I do allow to live and stay here. There are those, too. I can see it in their eyes, if they escaped for real or if they are under His spell. Or at least I think I can. What if I delude myself? What if I let someone life who’s going to betray us later? What if I kill someone who could have been saved? What if I can’t trust myself? He owned me. He was in my head. I fought it, but He was too strong. What if a part of Him is still there and just waits for the right moment to take over?”

Maedhros was trembling and Nolofinwe held him tight. The despair in his words made his heart clench. It was good he’d come.

“I think he’s sending you these people to make you doubt yourself”, he said slowly. “He injured you but he did not conquer you. You escaped him and he can’t have that, so he’s trying to wear you down. Don’t let him in, Maedhros. I believe that what you do is a mercy. Turukáno has found a group of escaped slaves a while ago and their leader does the same as you. I’ve seen him look people, who come to us, deeply in the eyes and either kill them quickly or tell Turukáno, if it’s save to take them in. It is not kinslaying as... as it happened in Alqualonde. It is a mercy. A chance for the fea to move on and heal instead of living on in torment.” Nolofinwe kissed Maedhros’s cheek. “Would you like to sleep now, with your head in my lap, while I stroke your hair?”

Maedhros nodded. “Thank you”, he whispered as he settled down, curled up on his side. “Wake me, if I start to seem restless.”

“I will guard your dreams”, Nolofinwe promised, his fingers undoing Maedhros’s braids and slowly combing them out. Maedhros sighed and relaxed into his touch. Nolofinwe hummed a lullaby under his breath.

 

Maedhros woke to soft voices talking. He sat up and saw Nolofinwe standing at the door, speaking with someone outside.

“Who was it?”, he mumbled when Nolofinwe closed the door and came back to him. He’d slept through the knock, which was remarkable given his usually light sleep.

“Your steward. He was wondering where you got to. He seems to think you aren’t eating enough and trying to skip meals. I promised him we’d be punctual at dinner.”

Maedhros glared at him. “I’m not a child.”

“No, you are not.” Nolofinwe kissed his cheek. “But you need to eat.”

“I am eating!” Maedhros sighed at Nolofinwe’s questioning glance. “It’s the people. Sometimes I can’t bear to let them see me eat.”

Nolofinwe sat down beside him again. “Do you want to talk about it? Do you need me to be to be your núro to do so?”

Maedhros reached for his hand and squeezed it tightly in gratitude. He was still so amazed every time Nolofinwe offered himself so readily to help him deal with his scars.

“Later maybe? If we do this now, I won’t be able to dine in public.”

“We should get ready then. He said in an hour and I want to wash off the dust of the road.”

“I’m sorry that I kept you from resting”, said Maedhros with a grimace.

Nolofinwe gave him a kiss. “I did rest. It was good to see you sleep so deeply. See you in an hour.”

“Is that an order, my king”, Maedhros asked with a wry smile.

“It is.”

Nolofinwe winked at him and Maedhros left him with a lighter heart and more rested than he’d been in weeks. Fingon had stayed with him for a few nights to wake him from his nightmares, but it was different – he’d still worried about Nolofinwe’s reaction at the time. Now he was sure again of his love.

 

They’d eaten quickly. There would be a feast to properly celebrate the presence of the High King and the Crown Prince, but that would wait until Findekáno and Makalaure came back from their hunt.

“Should we go to my room or yours, my prince”, Nolofinwe whispered into Maedhros’s ear when they left the dining room.

“Mine”, answered Maedhros. “If you’re sure...”

“I am.” Nolofinwe squeezed his hand. “I won’t force you to talk about it. But maybe it could help?”

Maedhros knew he was right. He’d always felt better, after he’d told Nolofinwe about his problems.

“Yes”, he said softly.

They walked quietly to his room, Nolofinwe’s hand wrapped around his and he drew circles on his wrist with his thumb. Maedhros relaxed under the touch.

“Will you make yourself vulnerable for me?”, he asked after letting them into his room.

“Of course, my prince", Nolofinwe answered and kissed his cheek, before taking a step back and starting to undress.

Maedhros watched him, feeling a warmth spread in his chest as Nolofinwe blindfolded himself and tied his hands with the rope he’d handed him. It would never cease to amaze him what this wonderful elf was ready to do for him. He helped Nolofinwe to lie down and kissed his cheek.

“Thank you”, he whispered as he pushed a gag into his mouth and embraced him from behind. “I love you so much. I’m so glad you came, even if I said I’m okay. It feels good to have you here. I... have trouble eating in public. I often just grab something from the kitchens later – if I remember to eat. I had to learn to ignore the feeling of hunger.” Maedhros’s voice broke, he licked his lips. “He... made me eat from his hand”, he croaked. “In front of everyone. He starved me. He let me lick food from the ground before His feet.”

Hot tears ran down his cheeks. How he must have looked. Thin and pale, covered in bruises. Pathetic. He heard His laughter in his head and clung to Nolofinwe to anchor himself in the present.

“He put delicious food in front of me and denied it to me. I still feel like I have to eat quickly, if I’m not alone, or someone will take it away from me.”

Maedhros stroked Nolofinwe’s naked side with his hand. He felt calmer now that he’d said it. It was strange. Whenever he was forced to think of his time in Angband it turned him into a shivering mess – even if he didn’t let it show outwardly – but with Nolofinwe in his arms, his heart was calm.

“Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here for me.”

He squeezed Nolofinwe’s bound hands and kissed his neck before pulling the gag from his mouth. 

“How do you feel now?”, asked Nolofinwe.

“Better.” Maedhros held him tighter. “Can I hold you for a moment longer?”

“Of course.” Nolofinwe leaned against him.

“What are you thinking?”, asked Maedhros softly.

“Will you promise me you’ll try to eat regularly? I’m worried about you, Maedhros.”

“I’ll try. I’ve had a hard few days.” Maybe it was more a hard few weeks, but he didn’t want to tell Nolofinwe that. “Thank you for being here.”

“Always, my love. And Maedhros... please don’t do something to yourself. What you wrote about the Everlasting Darkness at the end... That scared me.”

Maedhros closed his eyes and held him tighter. ‘My love.’ He’d never thought Nolofinwe would call him that before the world grew dark – he still wasn’t completely sure that he didn’t only say it to make him feel secure, but it felt so good anyway.

“I love you, too”, he whispered and kissed his neck. “I won’t. I sometimes think of how it would be to just vanish, not to be there any longer. But I know what it would do to my family, if I took my own life. I will not go there, I’d have done that long ago, if I really thought that would be the solution. Let me take these off”, he added and untied Nolofinwe’s hands before pulling off the blindfold.

Nolofinwe blinked a few times and smiled at him. “Do you want me to leave now or stay a little longer?”

Maedhros kissed him gently. He knew that Nolofinwe wouldn’t resent him either way. He was so generous!

“Please stay”, he murmured und pulled the blanket over them both. “Hold me?”

Nolofinwe’s arm enveloped him and Maedhros snuggled against his chest, breathing in his scent. Nolofinwe’s fingers combed through his hair as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Two

Read Chapter Two

They’d made a show of Maedhros leading the High King around the fortress and showing him the plans for further fortifications. That was the pretext for him being here, after all. It was after lunch, and Nolofinwe had made certain that Maedhros was eating something, when they managed to steal away. Luckily no one had noticed that Nolofinwe hadn’t spent most of the night in his own room.

Nolofinwe’s heart beat quickly as he walked through the fortress to Maedhros’s room. They’d left the dining room separately and Nolofinwe had sent his servants away saying he wanted to look over the written reports Maedhros had given him on the history of the people his brothers had met in the wooded riverland further east and south. He was interested in that – they seemed to be distinct from the Sindar – but he was more interested in something else. His cock was already hard.

He knocked on Maedhros’s door and gasped when he was jerked inside, the door slamming shut behind him, and pulled into a passionate kiss. Nolofinwe melted into his prince’s arms, leaning against the door as his mouth was ravished.

“I’m at your service, my prince”, he gasped when Maedhros pulled back.

“And I’m such a lucky elf because you are.”

Maedhros smiled at him and turned the key. (Later Nolofinwe would think that he should have heard it sounded odd, but right now his mind was turned completely to his aching cock and the hand roaming over his body.)

“Have you been a good boy for me, núro?”, his prince said while he divested him of his robes. Nolofinwe had intentionally chosen clothes that were easy to get rid of.

“Yes, Prince Nelyafinwe”, Nolofinwe answered.

He shivered as he stood naked before his prince, his eyes roaming over him, and sucked in his breath when he slid his index finger slowly up his cock.

“You haven’t come in all this time? How you must long for me.”

“I haven’t and I do, my prince.”

Nelyafinwe squeezed his cock and Nolofinwe moaned loudly, his knees almost buckling. The touch of another – his prince – after so long, felt so good!

“Look at you”, Nelyafinwe whispered, his lips caressing his ear. “So pretty in your aroused state. But this is mine, isn’t it?”

“Yes”, Nolofinwe groaned. “Yes, my pleasure is yours. I’m your’s my prince.”

“Good.” Nelyafinwe started to stroke him. “You deserve to come for being so obedient. Your letters give me such pleasure! Now come for me, my good, little núro.”

Nolofinwe cried out as his long pent up release crashed over him. His come streaked his chest and belly and Nelyafinwe’s hand and he would have sunk to the floor, his muscles trembling with the force of it, if Nelyafinwe hadn’t pinned him to the door with his weight.

“Did you like this?”, Nelyafinwe asked with a smirk, rubbing his come into his skin.

“Yes, my prince. Thank you for allowing me release.” It felt so good to finally be with him again. Though he was a little surprised that he’d given this to him so easily.

“Oh, I’m not finished with you, núro. Not by a long stretch.” Nelyafinwe peppered kisses along his jawline. “But you deserved it for holding out for so long. Now, I believe you asked for a punishment for disfiguring my crest.”

Nolofinwe felt apprehension for a moment but Nelyafinwe’s hand was still stroking his skin gently and when he glanced into his face he saw a twinkle in his eyes and a quick wink that told him that he wasn’t angry. This was a game.

“Yes, my prince. I beg your forgiveness for my badly executed attempt at your coat of arms. I did not intend mockery.”

“I know that, my dear núro, or your punishment would look differently.” Maedhros caressed his cheek. “But still. Bow over the back of the couch.”

Nolofinwe obeyed, bracing himself on the seat. Nelyafinwe was rummaging around behind him an Nolofinwe tensed surprised when an oily finger slid into him.

“Relax, núro”, Nelyafinwe admonished as he added a second finger. “I’m going to open you up a little for later.”

The finger vanished quickly to be replaced by a plug. A spark of pleasure shot through Nolofinwe as his prince pushed it against his prostate.

“Yes, I knew you’d like that. Now, for your punishment.” Something flat and cool caressed Nolofinwe’s buttock. “First, I’m going to warm up your sweet, firm ass. That’s not punishment, just preparation.” Nolofinwe shivered, his cock already hardening again. “Your punishment will be ten strokes with a crop, each one a little harder than the one before. You are going to count them and thank me after each one. Afterwards, you are going to kneel down before me and ask my forgiveness again. Do you understand this?”

“Yes, my prince”, Nolofinwe croaked in a voice thick with arousal.

He’d have felt bad, if he really had broken some rule or failed to perform a task – breaking Maedhros’s trust, making him feel disappointed with him – but this was not like that. When he’d ‘confessed’ his failure, he’d tried for a light, joking tone und Maedhros seemed to have understood.

He took a deep breath as the paddle slapped his skin. Another slap on the other buttock and a little deeper. Soon his backside was burning evenly, heat radiating anew with every slap that his prince let fall on already beaten skin. Nolofinwe was moaning without shame, his cock hard and heavy between his legs, rubbing against the coarse fabric of the couch’s back with every motion.

“Yes”, Nelyafinwe said, rubbing the paddle over his skin. “That’ll do nicely. I almost forgot how pretty you look with your ass reddened and a plug filling you up.” He pushed at the base of the plug with his stump and Nolofinwe tensed moaning around it, his cock twitching. “Now for your punishment, núro. Let’s see how much you’ll enjoy this.” His prince held a  crop with a flat, stiff leather tip in front of his face. “Kiss it.”

Nolofinwe pressed a kiss to the leather and heard Nelyafinwe moan softly. He seemed to enjoy the sight. The crop met his burning skin for the first time.

“One”, Nolofinwe counted. “Thank you for the punishment, my prince.”

It wasn’t so bad, only fed his arousal, but he reminded himself, that they would become harder as his prince continued. They were at six, Nolofinwe giving a little, pained scream at that one, when the doorknob moved. Nolofinwe had a split second to think how good it was that his prince had locked the door, before it opened. His heart skipped a beat, he jerked up his head to look into Makalaure’s horrified face. Nolofinwe felt the blood drain from his own face, he quickly looked over Makalaure’s shoulder but his son was not in sight – a small relief. Makalaure stepped in and quickly shut the door.

“What the fuck are you doing, Maedhros?!”, he said, his voice higher than usual, sounding panicked.

“Nothing he didn’t ask for”, snapped Maedhros.

“Brother!”, snapped Makalaure back. “You can not beat up the High King! I don’t know what happened, but have you thought about the diplomatic complications this is going to bring? He offered us pardon and peace, how can you throw that away? I know you’ve been troubled, but I’m sure whatever the King said, he did not want to insult you!”

Nolofinwe realised belatedly, that Makalaure wasn’t seeing an interrupted tryst, but was thinking that Maedhros was... doing what? Punish him for an insult?

“Káno, that’s not what’s going on here”, Maedhros said with a strained voice.

“Where is my son?”, Nolofinwe interjected, worried that Findekáno might find his way here any moment, and straightened with a hiss.

Makalaure eyed him with a wary look. “He went to your rooms, my king. We were told, you and my brother had parted after lunch...”

Nolofinwe nodded. “You will not tell him about this”, he said to Makalaure and was relieved that Maedhros didn’t interrupt him. “Or anyone. Maedhros and I, we are...” He gulped. “We’ve been having a sexual relationship in secret for a long time. I asked him to beat me. I like it.” He felt himself blush furiously but kept his eyes on Makalaure’s face who’s cheeks had reddened, too.

“Oh”, he said weakly. “I... I’m sorry. Of course I’ll keep this to myself. Why didn’t you lock the door?!”

“I did!”, said Maedhros. “I don’t know what happened! It must be broken somehow.”

“Hm”, was all Makalaure said, before he fled.

“Fuck”, whispered Maedhros and Nolofinwe could only agree.

“I need to get dressed and find Findekáno”, he said. “We can’t continue with an unlocked door, anyway.”

“Yes, of course.” Maedhros sighed. “Let me take the plug out.”

Makalaure had thoroughly killed the mood, but Nolofinwe scrounged up some remnant of it. They had little enough time together.

“Or... you could leave it there”, he said, touching Maedhros’s hand. “And find me later in my rooms. My lock works. There are four strokes left of my punishment, my prince.”

“Hmm, yes, I could do that.” Maedhros smiled at him. “You aren’t scared off?”

Nolofinwe shrugged as he put on his robes. “We have to be more careful. Why does your lock not work? But what happened can’t be taken back. Will you talk to Makalaure? So he... understands?”

“I'll try." Maedhros sighed. "See you later. And I’m sorry, I should have checked the lock before entrusting our secret to it.”

 

“Maedhros?”

He groaned softly then turned around with a smile to Findekáno who’d come after him as he left for his rooms. Maedhros had wanted to prepare and fetch the crop – Nolofinwe had excused himself early and waited for him. “Yes, Findekáno?”

“Is something wrong?” He’d likely noticed the strange mood at dinner – Makalaure not being able to look neither him nor Nolofinwe in the eyes – and Nolofinwe being nervous. “Did something happen between you and Atya while we were out hunting? You looked tense.”

“No.” Maedhros shook his head. “Don’t worry, nothing’s wrong. He just...” He had an idea. “He noticed that I have... trouble eating in public.” He hadn’t told Findekáno nearly as much as Nolofinwe about the reasons why, but he knew a bit of it, too. “And we had a little argument. Makalaure took it as more serious than it was.”

“Oh, you’re not at odds then?”

“No. Your father is trying to help – and succeeding in some ways.”

Findekáno knew that Nolofinwe had come because he was worried. Of course he didn’t know the extent of it and Maedhros felt a little bad, lying to his best friend. But then, he couldn’t say to him: ‘Your father is cheating on your mother with me.’ No, better tell him a lie now and then.

Findekáno smiled in relief. “Good. I was worried. But if everything’s fine, I’ll let you go to bed. You need your sleep. You look much more rested since when I arrived, by the way. Does it help having us here?”

“Yes, it helps very much. Thank you. Good night, Findekáno.”

“Good night, Maedhros.”

Maedhros sighed and hurried on, he’d let his núro wait long enough. He quickly grabbed the crop and slid  it down the side of his trouser-leg, draping his shirt over the handle. Nolofinwe was right, they had to be more careful. They’d allowed themselves to become sloppy – or maybe it was just that they were both so horny they hadn’t been thinking straight. He knocked softly on Nolofinwe’s door and was quickly ushered in by him. Maedhros grinned down at him.

“Are you ready for the rest of your punishment, núro?”

“Yes, my prince.”

Maedhros gripped his chin and gave him a quick kiss. “Good boy. Strip and bow over the couch.” He rubbed his hand over Nolofinwe’s bruised backside, admiring his handiwork from earlier in the day. “You look so good, marked by me”, he said. “So utterly fuckable.”

Nolofinwe groaned and shuddered when Maedhros pulled the crop from its hiding place and slid it down his spine to come to rest on the base of the plug.

“Four more.” Maedhros said and stroke out.

He savoured the moans and shivers, the little scream at the last one, the fresh redness blooming on Nolofinwe’s skin, being thanked for giving him this pain – but above all that Nolofinwe was here with him, had come because he cared about him and gave himself to him. After the last stroke he caressed Nolofinwe’s skin with the crop again, down his bruised ass, between his legs, teasing his balls. Nolofinwe arched into the touch, visibly aroused and Maedhros moved forward to rub his crotch against his backside, drawing a hiss from him.

“Now”, he whispered into Nolofinwe’s ears. “On your knees, núro.”

He moved back to give Nolofinwe the space and watched him slowly rise up and turn around. Maedhros smiled at seeing his cock fully erect. With a real punishment, he wouldn’t have wanted that kind of reaction but this was only a little game for them both to enjoy – and Nolofinwe clearly enjoyed it very much. A shudder coursed through him when he knelt down and Maedhros saw the muscles of his abdomen clench. He grinned. The plug was doing what it was supposed to.

“Well?”, he said sternly, pushing Nolofinwe’s chin up with the crop.

Nolofinwe licked his lips, his pupils blown wide with arousal. “My prince”, he croaked. “I apologise for disfiguring your coat of arms and beg your forgiveness.”

Maedhros put the crop aside and caressed his cheek. “You beg so prettily. I forgive you. Kneel on the bed, hands and knees.”

Maedhros undressed while Nolofinwe positioned himself not leaving him out of his sight, then sauntered over, sitting down between his spread legs. Nolofinwe gave a high pitched yelp when he pinched one of the crop marks. Maedhros laughed and kissed the same spot then he dragged his tongue up the curve of his ass. His cock was throbbing, he reached down to stroke himself for a moment. He wouldn’t be able to draw this out for long. He felt Nolofinwe shudder when he pulled the plug out – he was close, too.

“I missed this so much”, Maedhros groaned when he entered him. “My núro, well prepared and hot around me.”

He pulled back and thrust hard into him again. Nolofinwe gasped and Maedhros stifled a moan against his neck, burying his face in his hair – he smelled like pine, Maedhros smiled. He pulled his hip up to get a better angle and fucked him hard, let his own pleasure be fuelled by Nolofinwe’s moans.

“Come for me, my núro”, he growled into his ear. “I want to feel you come while I’m deep inside you.”

Nolofinwe’s hips jerked into his motions, his muscles clenched around him and Maedhros thrust a few more times before he came, too. He gasped in air and licked the sweat off Nolofinwe’s shoulders before he slowly eased down beside him and embraced him.

“Thank you”, he said. “I’m so glad you came here, even though I wrote something else.”

Nolofinwe squeezed his hand silently, giving him a tired, content smile.

Chapter Three

Read Chapter Three

Makalaure looked up from his harp when his brother entered the room, he’d been sitting here for a while, plucking the strings restlessly. Dinner had been so awkward yesterday, he wasn’t sure how to survive another meal like that without dying of embarrassment.

“How long has this been going on?”, he hissed at Maedhros. “He is our uncle!”

“Half-uncle”, Maedhros answered. It was an almost automatic response, but right now it only made Makalaure more furious. He glowered at Maedhros.

“How long?”, he asked again through gritted teeth.

“Since before father was exiled to Formenos”, Maedhros said, having the grace to look embarrassed. “I’m sorry, Káno, but... I couldn’t tell you – or anyone. He was the only person I could ever talk to about my sexual inclinations – because he complements them.”

Makalaure felt slightly lost. He’d thought he knew his brother. He’d thought this might be linked to his time in Angband, but if it had started so much sooner...

“But... why? How can you... enjoy hurting Nolofinwe... anyone?” His brother was such a good person.

He wished he hadn’t said that, when Maedhros looked at him with pain in his eyes. “I only enjoy it, when my partner does, too. I would never force anyone. Please, Makalaure!” There were tears in his eyes.

Makalaure laid his hand gently on his arm, because Maedhros didn’t like to be embraced. “I didn’t think that. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to accuse you. I just... I don’t understand.”

“I know.” Maedhros smiled sadly. “That’s why I didn’t tell anyone. People don’t understand. And they’d understand even less that Nolofinwe likes to kneel for me, to be beaten. You have to keep this to yourself.”

“Of course I will!” Makalaure gripped his arm tighter. “Do you think, I would go around telling everyone? No one will hear it from me. Does it... help you?” Maedhros had seemed to be better since Findekáno and Nolofinwe had arrived but Makalaure had attributed that more to Findekáno’s presence. Maedhros nodded silently. “Good. Then I don’t need to understand.” He went to the tips of his toes to press a kiss on Maedhros’s cheek. “But the rest of Nolofinwe’s stay is going to be damn awkward!”

He grinned at him and Maedhros barked a laugh. “You’ll live. It wasn’t you in the compromising position, after all!”

Makalaure bit back a retort. He was relieved that Maedhros was smiling again now – and that he actually seemed to sleep after whatever he was doing with Nolofinwe. That it was their uncle made him uncomfortable, but he wouldn’t make life harder for Maedhros than it already was. He wouldn’t judge him for finding solace where he found it.

 

Nolofinwe lay on his back, wrists and ankles tied to the bedposts. His prince sat on the mattress beside him, holding something like a frosting bag. (Nolofinwe felt the urge to giggle at the thought of himself being decorated like a cake.) It held a plant paste that would leave a reddish colour on his skin, even after it was wiped off. He craned his neck to see better when Nelyafinwe started to paint a line on his chest and his prince tsked.

“I’ll have to blindfold you, if you don’t hold still, núro”, he said.

Nolofinwe let his head fall back with burning cheeks. “I apologise, my prince”, he said. He had been told not to move.

“Mhm”, made Nelyafinwe, concentrated on his drawing.

The paste was cool on Nolofinwe’s skin. He didn’t try to look again, but it felt like it would be large, the horizontal rays filling the space between his nipples. Nelyafinwe drew in silence and Nolofinwe tried to breathe as shallowly as possible to not disturb his work further. He really knew better than to interrupt a Feanorian creating.

After a while his prince put his tool aside and kissed his forehead. “Well done, núro. Now, this has to stay on for a while and as you seem a little twitchy today, I won’t untie you.” Nelyafinwe circled his navel with a finger. “But don’t worry, I’ll make sure you don’t get bored. Let’s see how often I can make you come tonight. You do have permission.” His prince grinned at him and slid down to lie between his spread legs. “However, you also do have permission to ask me to stop.” Without breaking he game, he meant.

Nolofinwe forced himself not to lift his head to look at him and gasped in surprise when Nelyafinwe’s tongue licked his half-hard cock. He rose quickly under his prince's skilful touches and tried hard not to move. He ached to thrust deeper into that warm, teasing mouth but he shouldn’t after his prince had already admonished him – and it wouldn’t be really possible anyway, the way he was tied up.

He moaned loudly when his prince lightly squeezed his balls with his fingers. It was their last night together, Nolofinwe would travel back home tomorrow, though Findekáno had decided to extend his visit. He would miss Nelyafinwe – Maedhros – and not just because these past weeks had reminded him of how great the sex was.

Nolofinwe cried out when his prince took him deeper into his mouth and hollowed his cheeks. Nelyafinwe continued to suck and lick his cock during his orgasm and afterwards. Nolofinwe squirmed a little when his oversensitive flesh protested against the continued stimulation, but his cock was soon hardening again, making discomfort and pleasure mix.

 

It was after his sixth orgasm, his princes fingers deep inside him, attacking his prostate mercilessly, that Nolofinwe whimpered: “Please, my prince, please stop!”

He felt wrung out, nerve endings on fire. The last time he’d found release there’d been barely any come. He slumped in relief when Nelyafinwe pulled his fingers out.

“And there I thought you’d appreciate the last opportunity in a while for you to come”, he said with a smile in his voice.

“Too much”, groaned Nolofinwe.

Nelyafinwe’s face appeared above him, he tenderly kissed his forehead and caressed his cheek. “You are beautiful, all spent, and my sign blazing on your chest.” He stood up, Nolofinwe heard water being poured in a cup. “Drink, you’ve lost a lot of fluid.”

His prince slid his stump under Nolofinwe’s head to help him lift his head. The position was a little awkward and water ran down Nolofinwe’s neck – it felt good on his heated skin. Maedhros followed a drop of water with his finger.

“Don’t worry”, he said with a grin, when Nolofinwe tensed. “I won’t make you come again. Can you wait a while longer for the paste to do its work?”, he asked gently.

“Yes, my prince”, mumbled Nolofinwe.

“Very good.”

Nolofinwe relaxed in his bonds, which weren’t tight enough to cause him discomfort, when his prince started to wash his come off his skin with warm water. He had trouble holding his eyes open.

“You may sleep, if you want to”, his prince said with a gentle smile.

 

Maedhros watched Nolofinwe sleep. He’d lain down beside him, resting his head on Nolofinwe’s arm and his hand on his belly. They’d soon part again and he tried to memorise the feeling of having him at his side. It had felt so good to have him here. He hadn’t wanted him to worry, had been so afraid to lose him, like his nightmares had made him believe he would, if he showed him how weak he often felt. It had been foolish, he could see that now, but he knew it would become harder again to remember, once Nolofinwe had left. He would cherish the memory of every moment he’d had with him and hope for another visit soon.

At least Findekáno would stay for a while longer. His friend would not allow him to descend into gloom, he’d make him smile, no matter what. Maedhros shuddered to think how close they’d come to being discovered by him. If he’d come with Maglor on that day... He didn’t want to think of what it would mean for their friendship, if Findekáno ever found out. He’d once told Nolofinwe that it changed nothing – and it didn’t for him, but he knew in his heart, that it would be different for Findekáno.

He felt Nolofinwe wake with a start and tug on his bonds until he realised where he was.

“My prince”, he mumbled and turned his head towards him.

“I’m here”, Maedhros whispered and kissed his cheek. “I think we’ve waited long enough now. Let’s see what happened to your skin.”

He fetched water and a rag, excited to see the result. He’d had the practice explained to him by the Laiquendi of Ossiriand, who used this plant to put marks on their skin for certain festivals. It would vanish again after a few weeks, but for now he’d have the knowledge that Nolofinwe would ride home with the Feanorian star on his chest – marked by him. Maedhros felt his cock twitch at the thought. He’d given his núro an overabundance of release, but hadn’t yet come himself – he’d change that soon.

“Look how pretty you are with my sigil on your chest”, he said after he’d washed away the paste, holding a hand mirror so Nolofinwe could see the reddish lines on his chest.

Nolofinwe’s breath quickened at the sight. “I’m yours”, he whispered, licking his lips. “My prince, all yours.”

Maedhros put the mirror aside and ran his hand over the slightly damp skin. “And I intend to take what is mine”, he said. He untied Nolofinwe’s ankles – but not yet his wrists – and laid his legs on his shoulders. His arousal nudged Nolofinwe’s entrance. “Mine”, he whispered as he slowly pushed in. “Don’t forget, when you ride away, that you are mine.”

“Never, my prince.” Nolofinwe held his gaze and Maedhros smiled.

“And don’t forget, how much I cherish you. You give me your submission and you give me your friendship and you give me something to lean on, when I need it. And I love you for it.” Maedhros let his eyes rest on the star on Nolofinwe’s skin as he thrust quicker into his welcoming body. “You give me so much and I don’t know how I can ever pay you back.”

Nolofinwe laughed breathlessly. “This is not an exchange of goods. Kiss me, my prince?”

Maedhros did so gladly, moaning into Nolofinwe’s mouth as his release washed over him.

He lay down beside Nolofinwe, untying his hands with trembling fingers. Nolofinwe rolled over to embrace him and they shared a quiet moment, holding and caressing each other.

“Will you be alright?”, Nolofinwe asked softly.

“I will”, Maedhros answered. “Mostly at least. There will always be bad days. My brothers have an eye on me.”

“And Findekáno will stay a while, too.”

“Yes, and I’m happy about it.” Maedhros smiled wryly. “I think you’ll eventually have to order him to come back, if you don’t want him to stay here interminably.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t think that such a bad idea?” Nolofinwe winked at him. “He is so good for you.”

“He is the best friend I ever had”, answered Maedhros.

“And he can show you his friendship openly, while we have to hide”, continued Nolofinwe. “I’m glad for that.”

Maedhros kissed him again. It sometimes hurt that they'd never be able to show openly what they felt for each other, but they had each other and that would have to be enough.

---

Chapter End Notes

Last chapter here, next there'll be more letters.