The Embalmer's Apprentice by Lyra

Chapter 16

Azruhâr does some heavy thinking, and has to appear at the palace again. Amraphel covers the research.

I awoke in a forest. No; it was a room that had been painted to resemble a forest, ivy twining around the ceiling beams, the spaces between them imitating a canopy of leaves in different shades of green. Much effort had gone into giving them verisimilitude, but as the fog lifted and my eyes began to adjust to the light, I could see that the leaves were lacking in depth, and that the spacing between the supposed tree trunks was suspiciously regular.
I had not been dropped in a forest to die, then. In fact, I did not appear to be dead, which was an important realisation. My brain was hammering against my skull as if desperate to get out, but I was alive. I was also – another important realisation – in a friendly place. Nobody would bother to paint the ceiling of a prison. There was a sour smell of sickness, but also of chamomile, meadowsweet and lavender, soap and beeswax, which suggested the presence of a kindly soul intent on care and cleanliness. That was certainly reassuring. Less reassuring was the fact that I had no idea how I had got to be here, or where „here“ was in the first place. I tried to get a better look at my surroundings, but an attempt at turning my head resulted in a sharp stab of agony, and I decided against further stock-taking. Instead, I said, „Hello?“ It was harder than it should be. My tongue had turned into a bloated slug that only unwillingly remembered that it was a muscle.

A face hovered into view, giving me an intent stare. It was a dignified face, with bushy eyebrows and a serious dark beard. I wondered whether it should have been familiar. „Hello,“ the lips surrounded by the beard said, enunciating the syllables as clearly as if talking to a small child. „Can you understand me?“
That was a strange question, I felt. If the answer was no, how would I be able to provide it?
„Yes?“ I suggested.
„Very good! How are you feeling?“
„My head... hurts,“ I told him. The words came slowly, but they came.
„Yes, of course,“ he replied. My head, apparently, was meant to hurt. „Can you see me?“ he continued.
„Yes,“ I said flatly. Again, I wondered whether I should recognise him. Who was he? Was this his house?
He gave me no time to think. „How many fingers am I showing you?“
I blinked. I might not be clever, but I did know how to count. „Three,“ I said.
„Can you remember where you were before you got here?“
The mere thought made me sick again. „The palace,“ I said tersely. „The Erulaitalë feast.“ For good measure, I added, „I did not steal that pendant.“
He did not seem to care about that. „Do you know who you are?“ he asked instead.
How could someone sit by my bedside without knowing who I was? Maybe he hadn't been told, in order to protect me. Then I probably should not tell him, either? But my tongue, now back in action, was faster than my aching brain. „Azruhâr son of Narduhâr, at your service,“ I said.
„Excellent!“ the serious face exclaimed, breaking into a smile. „Do not be alarmed, Azruhâr son of Narduhâr. You have been given a bad concussion, but it seems that you are now safely on the road to recovery.“

I had slept for over two days, I was later told, and Master Sérindo – he was the respectable man with the serious beard, and apparently a renowned healer – had already been planning to feed me through a silver tube. I felt equally flattered that I was considered worth the effort (and the silver), and horrified at the idea of having such a tube pushed inside me. Later yet, I learned that Master Sérindo had also considered cutting a hole into my skull to keep my brain from being crushed. And to avoid jostling me, he had simply cut me out of my brocade robes, ruining them forever. Together with the strange conversation we'd had after my awakening, all this made me rather suspicious of the learned healer, although he had supposedly brought many a wounded soldier back from the brink of death. Nonetheless, I was glad that I could drink my broth from a bowl like a normal person, and that no further harm would be done to my poor head, which recovered slowly from the blows it had been dealt. The robes, well, I suppose we would find some use for the surviving scraps of fabric.
I was in the city-house of Lord Eärendur. He had judged that my home might not be safe enough, and that I would be taken better care of under his direct supervision. 'Just in case,' my family had also been brought here, although nobody wanted to tell me what 'just in case' meant. I was very glad to have Amraphel for company, but very unhappy that my daughers were not permitted to see me, because they might be too lively and make my condition worse again.

My condition was apparently a matter of national importance. The King had been livid that one of his embalmers had been addled, especially after it had become clear that I had a new idea concerning the preservation of dead bodies. My mind, or at any rate the idea in it, had to be preserved at all costs; the guard who had endangered it stood accused not merely of inflicting harm on an innocent citizen, but of high treason. The mere thought made my headache return at full force. I was still bedridden at that time, although I was by then allowed to sit up and converse with Amraphel, or the servants, or my noble host. We were supposed to stick to light topics, but that didn't always work out.
„Treason?“ I couldn't help asking now. „How does that add up?“
„An action that risks the stability of the state or the life of its ruler,“ Lord Eärendur said, as if that made sense of anything. Seeing my puzzled expression, he explained, „Ancalimon is convinced that his life – his future life – depends on you; therefore, in striking you down, poor Balakhil has endangered the King's future life. Therefore, he has committed treason. It is not a particularly strong case, but the King is the law, so that is that.“
I remembered Master Târik's tale, how his own master and fellow apprentices had been put to death over the decay of the King's aunt, and shuddered.
„It is not even a very clear plan,“ I said, worried and unhappy. „In truth, you know as much about it as I do.“
„But you will be able to make more of it, I hope.“
„I certainly hope so. But it doesn't depend on me. Master Târik could do the same, if you had told him what I have told you.“

The smile left his eyes. Whatever Lord Eärendur had said about his attitude towards embalmers, his friendship clearly did not extend to my colleagues. „Perhaps,“ he said. „But I have no intention of going into the catacombs; and your master has not approached me, not even, as it happens, to inquire after your health.“
„Does he even know that I am here?“ I asked.
„I have made no secret of it,“ Lord Eärendur said firmly. „Anybody who was present at the Erulaitalë feast would know.“
„Then he is too frightened to ask you! He cannot afford to win the attention of the nobility – even less than I can.“
„Really!“ I thought that I could discern a note of amusement. „And why would that be?“
„Because of the circumstances that made him a Keeper. I don't know the details – something about an oath he could not keep. He even turned down a seat on the council to avoid Lord Têrakon's notice. “ I shrugged unhappily. „He never told me what exactly happened. I didn't want to pry. But I'm sure Quentangolë knows more.“
„No doubt. But that is not my primary concern at this time.“
„Of course not,“ I said, abashed. „All I mean is, he has his reasons to avoid you, and me while I am in your company. It isn't negligence. It's only self-preservation.“
„If you say so. In that case, I'm afraid he will have to remain ignorant for a few more weeks, until you are fully recovered.“
„Weeks! But I have to get back to work!“
„You have to do nothing of the sort. Master Sérindo is quite adamant in that respect, and I trust that he knows best. No exertions until he declares you healed.“
I fell back into the pillows. „I cannot intrude upon your hospitality for so long, your Grace.“
He graced my concern with a soft snort. „You are not intruding; I have taken you in, and I will keep you until it is safe – for both of us. If you return to work too early and suffer a relapse, I shall be held responsible for failing to protect the King's prize embalmer. I do not care to learn whether that, too, constitutes treason under the current circumstances.“

I was silent for a while. The King's prize embalmer, I thought. It was absurd that I should be considered so important. And what if I failed after all? Would that make me, too, a traitor? High treason, that much I knew, was considered the very worst of crimes, even worse than murder, and the consequences were brutal.
„The punishment for treason... is it as bad for a nobleman as it would be for one like me?“ I asked before I could think better of it.
The change in his face was frightening. The easy smile was wholly gone, the eyes took on a steely glint, and the jaw clenched firmly, although Lord Eärendur's voice was as collected as ever when he answered. „Worse, in fact. You are right in that the law normally treats us more kindly; but treason is the one crime that would see us more harshly punished, since we are to protect the state and set an example for the people. An act of treason would condemn us to an even lengthier period of public torment, and we would be burned at the end of it instead of merely strangled.“ A thoughtful pause. „I must wonder whether, after a week of agony, that would make much of a difference; but I have no desire to settle the question through personal experience.“

An icy lump had settled in my innards. „I am sorry to have drawn you into this,“ I whispered.
He shrugged his shoulders with a wistful smile. „I am a grown man, Azruhâr – good grief, I'm easily six times your age – and I have brought myself into this. I should have known better than to give you the pendant; it was bound to get unwanted attention.“
„I did try to tell you that it was too much.“
He laughed at that. „So you did. So did Nolwen. To me, it seemed a good idea. I was wrong. It was not the right time for a covert vote of confidence.“
I nodded and discovered that the movement made me nauseous. I had to clench my eyes shut until my stomach settled again.
„I suppose it's a very public vote of confidence now,“ I said with a sigh. „I am sorry – desperately sorry. I know you said that you didn't need everybody to know, so I probably shouldn't have shouted about it in the middle of the feast.“ I bit my lips. „I wouldn't have. I didn't, at first. But they wouldn't believe that it had been a gift, so I needed you to confirm my story.“ I raised my head to give him an imploring stare, and was glad to see that the hard glint had left his eyes. „It was my only hope. If the King hadn't listened then and there, they would have taken me to prison. And then...“ There was no point in beating about the bush; Lord Eärendur already knew that I was no hero. „I would probably have confessed to whatever they wanted.“
I wasn't certain whether his sigh was directed at my confession or at general circumstances. „Yes. Probably. I suppose it could not be helped.“ Another wistful smile. „I must admit that I had not planned to declare myself quite so openly, so soon. But I did insist that you take the pendant. So it is my own fault, and you need not apologise. Rather, I should apologise to you; it was my gift, after all, that brought you into this situation.“

I did not know how to handle an apology from a nobleman gracefully, so I tried to deflect it. „This situation is easily bearable,“ I said, indicating the pleasant bedroom. „And the one that led to it... I do not think it was truly about the pendant. His Highness was trying to set people against me all afternoon. If he hadn't accused me of theft, he would have thought of something else. Especially after I answered back to him at dinner. I should have known that he would make me pay.“
A cleft had appeared on Lord Eärendur's forehead. „But the accusation of theft did not come from Alcarmaitë, but from the guard Balakhil...“
I shook my head in protest, and instantly regretted it. „Ow! No. The Crown Prince brought the guards along for good measure, but he raised the accusation all by himself.“
Lord Eärendur seemed to chew on his words for a while. „That is not how the story has been told to us,“ he eventually said. I remembered that he had only entered the scene towards the end, almost too late, and had probably been given an account of the events preceding my questioning later. The other observers, too, had only come in when I had already gone down. Oh...
Lord Eärendur went on, „According to Alcarmaitë, Balakhil saw you – in his words – loitering in the corridor, went to investigate, and seeing the pendant about your neck assumed that you had stolen it. He then brought the case before Alcarmaitë, who saw no reason to doubt the guard's assumptions.“
I resisted the impulse to shake my head again. „That's not how it was,“ I disagreed. „I never loitered in any corridor. I was listening to the music in the grand hall, and the Crown Prince came and accused me of stealing the pendant. I think he wanted the guards to just quietly sweep me away. He didn't want a public scene. I made noise because I was afraid of what they'd do to me.“ I buried my face in my hands. „I mean, aside from hitting my head.“

Again, it took Lord Eärendur a while to respond. „And you are certain that this is what you remember?“
The question stung more than it should. „I know it.“
„Please do not take my question amiss. I do not mean to imply that you are inventing things. However, a concussed man's memory may not be entirely reliable.“ He sighed. „As I told you, there has so far been a somewhat different account – one that conveniently places no responsibility with Alcarmaitë, and all with the guard.“
I felt a sudden rush of pity for the man to whom I owed my concussion. He had not necessarily been cruel to me on purpose. Perhaps he had honestly believed that I was guilty, or perhaps he had simply not given the matter any thought. Either way, he had followed his lord's commands; if the Crown Prince had told him that I needed to be struck into submission, then the guard had had little choice in the matter. Or had he? I broke an oath to my lord Têrakon, I heard Master Târik's voice, what he demanded of me was wrong. Had it been circumstances like these, I wondered, that had nearly brought Master Târik to the executioner's scaffold? In that case, I could hardly blame the guard for choosing duty over conscience. I would likely have done the same. Although it clearly hadn't helped the guard, if he was now accused of treason in spite of his obedience. So should he have refused? Did he deserve such a harsh sentence? Should I consider it just vengeance for my pain? But... treason?

My mind was not yet up to such complicated thoughts.
„He's a pawn,“ I said weakly. „The guard. Balakhil.“ It was important, I felt, to remember that he had a name.
„That is entirely possible,“ Lord Eärendur agreed. „Nonetheless, you may want to question your memory.“
„Your Grace, you weren't even there at the time!“ I couldn't help pointing out. „I know what happened to me.“
„Azruhâr. Even if you are currently high in the King's favour, it would be unwise to call his son and heir a liar.“
That startled me out of my stubborn insistence. I hadn't realised that I was in effect accusing the Crown Prince of lying, being more focussed on the truth of the matter. But I suppose that was what I was doing. „You are right, lord,“ I said. „I forgot. I must kiss the hand that strikes me, even if that makes me a liar.“
He recognised the words, no doubt, and grimaced sympathetically. „We are not talking about some upstart merchant, we are talking about the future King of the realm. In this case, there is very little choice.“ With a sigh, he added, „In fact, I suppose this is as good a chance as you may ever get to prove yourself valuable to Alcarmaitë. Do not come between him and his father. Show him that you will support his judgement. On the whole, that will serve you a lot better than insisting on the truth.“
I put my hands on my stinging eyes. „What of Balakhil?“ I could not help thinking about the guard.

Lord Eärendur took a while to answer. „I do not think the truth would help him, either.“
„But it's not right that he should be punished for treason. Not over me! He didn't even know what was in my head. He didn't plan to harm the King. He surely didn't! He didn't even do lasting harm to me. Surely that must be taken into account.“
„You can apply to the King's Mercy, I suppose.“
The thought was more than a little daunting. I did not exactly feel qualified to plead for someone's life. „Can't you, lord?“ I asked.
„In theory, yes. In practice, it would be hard to justify. I can hardly declare my support for you on one day, then plead mercy for the man who hurt you the next day. It would look as if I were trying to play both sides. No; if anyone can convince Ancalimon, it must be you, the other wronged party.“
„Then I will have to do it.“ I grimaced. Not without bitterness, I added, „If he's still alive by the time that Master Sérindo allows me to do so.“
Lord Eärendur rose from the armchair by my bedside. „I will ask that Balakhil's judgement be postponed until you've been heard. That I can do. And you, I daresay, should rest now. Sérindo would be very cross if he knew that I have occupied you with such difficult matters.“
„Yes. Thank you, lord.“ He was almost at the door when another thought crossed my mind. „Lord?“
„Yes, Azruhâr?“
„Am I a pawn, lord?“
It was not a wise question to ask, of course. In my heart, I feared that I knew the answer; hearing it spoken would make it no better. But now that it was out, I could hardly take it back.
Lord Eärendur breathed in and out slowly, studying me at length before he replied. „I do not care to play games with people's lives. As for Ancalimon's game, I would assume that you have reached the end of the board and advanced to promotion. I am not certain what that would make you. A knight? An archer*?“
That was not what I had meant, and I was certain that he knew it. But I suppose I would have to be content with this answer.

I rested. I drank my tea and my broth. I used the chamberpot. I tried to refrain from heavy thinking, and even dozed a little. I answered Master Sérindo's questions about my sense of balance, my eyesight, the extent of the pain in my head. Master Sérindo appeared satisfied; steadied by his assistant, I was permitted to walk the incredibly long distance from the bed to the window, and to sit there while the servants changed the bedclothes. I felt rather useless, watching them at their work without having anything to do, although it was true that I was not yet back to health; the short walk had brought the throbbing in my head back at full force. Nonetheless, all this fussing about my condition was unnerving. I had been whacked about the head before – not bad enough to knock me out for two days, but certainly enough to make me dizzy – and had always returned to the market the next day, no matter how sick I felt. I had felt far worse than now after my fated service in Master Amrazôr's house, and yet I had recovered from that without regular changes of linens (not that I'd had anything to change at the time) or constant attendance by a healer. In fact, I'd been told that the healer bought with Amraphel's earrings had only taken a brief look and left a dosage of poppyseed to help me through the first days before he had fled my hovel. It was true that I had spent a couple of days lying on my belly and having Amraphel shoo away the flies, but as soon as I had been able to walk without breaking into tears, I had tried to find work again. It had been awful, but I had obviously survived it, so it felt a little absurd to be so overcautious about my health all of a sudden.
I felt inclined to mention as much to Master Sérindo.
„Yes, I've seen the scars,“ he said, unimpressed. „You would have profited from further rest, not to mention professional care. Likewise, a concussion is not to be trifled with, unless you're eager for complications.“
I looked down, embarrassed. „I just mean... I've been worse. Surely I can return to my duties in a couple of days.“
„Not on my watch,“ Master Sérindo said darkly, cleaning his hands with a wet, sweet-scented cloth.

I chewed on my lips and looked out of the window. A well-tended garden – though small in comparison to the gardens in Andúnië – with pretty flowering shrubs and ornamental borders spread towards a handsome white wall. Beyond the garden wall, the western city wall rose up high and strong, more lavishly decorated than the parts I was familiar with but nonetheless forbidding. Behind them, untended grasslands interrupted by occasional shrubs rose up unto the lower slopes of the Holy Mountain. If I bent forwards and craned my neck a little, I could even see the peak, crisp and clear against a brilliant sky. I sat back before Master Sérindo could reproach me for straining my precious head. Prime location, I couldn't help thinking. Probably more or less across the road from the citadel, and impossible to buy with money, however much you had; you needed noble blood to be granted the privilege of building here. I wondered who the neighbours might be. The noble family of Eldalondë? Or someone less friendly, like Lord Atanacalmo? The Crown Prince, even?
I chose to put such thoughts aside for the moment, a decision made easier by the sight of a small, dark-haired figure running onto the broad lawn below. My heart lept at the sight of Azruphel, confident and vivacious as ever. She was followed by a young maidservant and by Amraphel, carrying little Nimmirel. They sat down in the trimmed grass, although Azruphel soon grew tired of sitting. She apparently challenged the maidservant to a game of tag, weaving through the bushes and laughing so loud that I could hear it through the glass panes of the window. Well, someone was enjoying my unplanned and extended sick leave, then. I wondered whether my firstborn would ever settle in back at our humble abode after all this running around in noble houses.

Amraphel felt that she would, although she agreed that it might not go entirely without complaint. „She does miss the company of other children, though, so that will be an argument in favour of home,“ Amraphel said. „Ruiloth is working hard to amuse her, and the pages and serving girls also keep Azruphel entertained, when they have the time; but it is not the same thing as playing with children of her own age, or near it. But yes, I suspect she is growing rather used to the freedom and luxury of these houses.“
I nodded uncomfortably. „And I am told that I must stay for weeks.“
„You make it sound like a chore,“ Amraphel said. „You should be delighted.“
„I am that, and I am also grateful and honoured and everything else that is appropriate. But I feel that I need to deserve the... importance I've been given. Amraphel, I don't even know if my idea is leading anywhere!“
She let out a slow breath. „Yes. That would be awkward. But whether or not you set to work right now cannot change that outcome. In fact, if your idea does not work, you should be glad that you needn't find out right now.“
This time, I knew better than to shake my head. „That is not the point. I will need time to find out, and I must find out before the King...“ I could not say it. „Before it no longer matters.“
Amraphel took my hands and carressed them. I could not help but relax under her gentle touch. „You can preserve him, using the old method, until you know.“
„I suppose.“
„And you can use the time of your reconvalescence to make plans. How will you go about testing your idea? What materials are you going to need? What can go wrong? How can you stop it from going wrong?“

Amraphel's questions did not make me feel more confident about my chances of success, but they did help me to get a clearer idea of what I was going to look into. We discussed the technical feasibility of encasing a body in resin. It was Amraphel's idea to instead combine this new method with our previous use of sublimate-soaked wrappings: perhaps the resin would provide the sealing that we so urgently needed. That thought left me giddy with excitement, and if I had dared, I would have escaped to the catacombs right away. Instead, talking the process through had to be enough. Later, Amraphel spoke to Lady Nolwen about known applications of resin and about how much we could hope to get in what period of time. She went to talk to cutlers and shipwrights and lacquer-makers and other craftsmen in order to find out more about how they worked with resins. She took notes upon notes and helped me to sort my thoughts. She went to Master Târik's house to give him a long-due update and allow him to prepare things for my return. It didn't appear to come entirely appreciated.
„He sends his regards,“ she told me that evening, „but I had the impression that he is displeased.“
I rubbed my nose. „He'll be angry that I didn't tell him first, I'm sure,“ I said. „I just didn't have the chance; we had hardly a moment for ourselves on Erulaitalë day.“
„You can explain yourself when you're back at work,“ Amraphel said kindly.
„Yes,“ I said, feeling exhausted at the mere thought.

Although I probably wasn't following Master Sérindo's advice of thinking only simple and pleasant thoughts, I recovered. The throbbing in my head disappeared, the waves of nausea ebbed away, the world no longer span when I sat up or rose from my sickbed. I could measure the progress in the steps Master Sérindo allowed me to take. Embracing my daughters again, seeing Nimmirel's incompetent but enthusiastic attempts at walking and listening to Azruphel's excited tales of everything she had seen and done. Joining the household for mealtimes and taking small walks in the garden. Amraphel sharing my bed again. Finally, being pronounced fit enough to go out without assistance. My joy at my release was almost immediately doused when Lord Eärendur announced that he would schedule an appointment at the palace to settle the matter of the guard Balakhil. It had to be done, I knew, but the thought of defending a man before the throne made me feel rather weak. However, Master Sérindo declared that this was only a case of nerves, not a relapse. Lord Eärendur kindly pointed out that the King might not actually have the time or strength to see me today, so the appointment had to be made betimes.
But it turned out that the King was perfectly willing to receive me that same afternoon. „In fact, he appears to have waited for you quite eagerly. He is better than he has been in the past weeks. You have given him hope.“ Lord Eärendur raised an eloquent eyebrow.
I hid my eyes behind my hands. „What if I cannot fulfil it?“
„Best not to think about it.“ After a pause – after I still had not taken my hands from my face – he reached out for my shoulder. „No, truly: Do not think about it. And do not speak about it. It will not help Ancalimon to bear the disappointment more easily. It might, however, make him angry, and it will certainly give Alcarmaitë new reasons to attack you. Show him no weakness.“

We set out after lunch. It had probably been a fine meal, but I could not even remember what I had eaten as we stepped out onto the hot street. I was sweating already, both from anxiety and from the day's warmth, made worse because Master Sérindo had wrapped a bandage around my head as a reminder to myself and others.
„You did not make me wear a bandage while I was still actually ill,“ I had protested.
„Well, here, we all knew to have a care for your head. People outside the house won't necessarily know, so it's better to demonstrate it.“ The bandage made me feel even more self-conscious than usual. I was certain that the guards at the palace were all glaring at me behind my back. I kept as far away from them and their batons as I could, although I should probably have felt safe enough with Lord Eärendur's bodyguards around me.
In contrast, my reception by the King was enthusiastic. Even the Crown Prince offered a few words of greeting, although he gave me poisonous stares whenever I caught his eyes. But what did it matter, when the King was more awake than he had been for so long? The sharp glint had returned to his eyes, and although his back and shoulders were bowed, he was certainly not slouched over in near-sleep as he had been a few weeks ago. „Stand, stand,“ he said impatiently and gave me a smile, revealing unnaturally perfect teeth. There was a wheezing quality to his voice that belied the intent look in his eyes, but I did my best to ignore it. „How relieved we are to see you back on your feet, Azrubêl. We were quite shocked by the developments at the feast, quite shocked.“
„Azruhâr, your Majesty,“ I corrected him against better wisdom, and then stumbled over my own courage. „Um. I. I am touched by your concern, your Majesty.“
„Such a horrible misunderstanding,“ he said, nodding sadly. „Very glad indeed that our best embalmer is back on his feet!“
Our best embalmer. I closed my eyes in dismay before I remembered that Lord Eärendur had advised me against showing doubt or weakness openly. The Crown Prince was certainly watching me with a very curious expression, one eyebrow quirked in thought, his lips pursed in disgust. I should try to project more confidence, I knew, but I simply couldn't. „Lord King,“ I said, my throat dry, „I am not quite certain what Lord Eärendur told you...“
„Ah yes, Eärendur.“ The King drew himself more upright and gestured for the Lord of Andúnië to step up beside me. „He has taken good care of you, yes?“
„The best, I am sure,“ I said, eager to repay my host for his kindness. „I have been treated by a very conscientious healer, and given every possible comfort. I feel like a new person.“
„Good, very good! Well done, Eärendur. You have quite surprised us all, I must say. And just in time! A lot of dissent has been stilled since you have declared your support of the Keepers. We will discuss your reward later, hm? Come, sit with us.“

As we sat down by the King's table, I glanced aside to see Lord Eärendur's reaction. He looked calm and focused as ever, briefly bowing his head in acknowledgement of the King's words without commenting on them. I know that I would have been gushing my thanks, but Lord Eärendur showed neither surprise nor satisfaction. I for my part was satisfied that there would be a reward. I could feel a little less indebted, then.
The King was ready to move on. „But now, unpleasant business. Eärendur tells me that you want to save my faithless guard? Did he get that right?“
„I – I am sure that Balakhil – that is his name, is it not? - was acting with the best intentions, and in good faith,“ I said awkwardly. I couldn't help glancing at the Crown Prince again, trying to guess how he felt about the fate of his henchman. He gave nothing away. He was leaning back now, his eyes half-closed, as if he didn't particularly care either way. Perhaps he didn't.
His father, however, cared very much. „Well, we can't have him risk your invaluable knowledge,“ the King said, waving his hands impatiently. They had grown thin, the wrinkled skin too large for the shrunken flesh underneath, and I marvelled that so much authority could rest in such fragile hands. I quickly looked down lest my thoughts registered in my eyes.
„My... knowledge... is fine, Lord King. I remember everything.“ From the corner of my eyes, I saw the Crown Prince shift. Was he worried now, I wondered? For a moment, I entertained illusions of grandeur: Announcing that the guard had been but a tool, that it was the Crown Prince who had accused me from the start, who had brought in the guards with their batons, fully conscious of my supposed importance to the King. How would the King react? Was the idea inside my head so invaluable that he would disinherit his own son, even accuse him of treason? Was that even possible? My head span at the thought. But I caught myself in time. Lord Eärendur had said that I should not come between the King and his son. I assumed that meant that there would be no devastating consequences for the Crown Prince, nothing worse than hard words and resentment – more resentment, which he would doubtlessly nurse in his heart and unleash on me once he was on the throne. No, that was not worth the risk. I would say nothing. But I did turn my head to catch, for a second, the Prince's eyes. He had narrowed them now, no longer relaxed, but as if he was trying to extract my thoughts through my brow.

I returned my attention to the King, who said, „That is good. Very good indeed. But in treason, the mere attempt is punishable.“
„I venture that the guard did not act with treasonous intent, your majesty,“ I said. „Assault, yes. Abuse of authority, yes.“ I had discussed the terms and corresponding punishment with Lord Eärendur. Nonetheless, I felt badly prepared. I ended, somewhat weakly, „But treason? Surely not.“
„Is your importance overrated, then?“ That, of course, was the Crown Prince.
„That is for his Majesty to decide,“ I said quietly.
„It is indeed!“ the King interrupted us. „As is the judgement of a guard who outsteps his bounds.“
„Absolutely, your Majesty.“ I was tempted to take my leave and run away. This had been a bad idea. I gave Lord Eärendur a pleading look, and he spoke up.
„Azruhâr would never question your judgement, Majesty; he only begs you to reconsider the severity of the guard's punishment.“
Relieved, I nodded my agreement. „I wish to appeal to your mercy, your Majesty.“
„We see,“ the King said. „We do regret having to condemn Balakhil; he has served us faithfully for decades, until this lapse. But we – will not – be disappointed!“ To underline his words, he slammed his flat hand on the table. I flinched both at the violent change in his face and demeanor and at the meaning of his words. Did they not apply to me? All my attempts would be of no matter if I disappointed him at the last. One part of my mind, one that seemed to be less worried about personal consequences, was more concerned that the King would break a bone; the table looked a lot more massive than his frail old hands.
„Rightly so, Lord King.“ I swallowed hard, trying to keep him from doing damage to himself in his anger. „Yet... I feel that your guard attempted no treason. He surely believed that he was serving you as faithful as ever. As you said... it was a regrettable misunderstanding.“
I made the mistake of glancing at the Crown Prince again. Sure enough, he was now watching me with his head tilted and his eyes narrowed. „We must wonder why you care,“ he now spoke up. „Should you not be delighted that you shall be avenged in this manner? Why plead for a man who injured you?“

Because I will not be avenged on the wrong man, I thought, but of course I could not say that. I did not understand enough of politics, of the waxing and waning of the King's passions, or the security of anyone's position on the board, to even begin meddling with these things.
I took a deep breath, and said out loud, „Your Highness may be aware that I was once in a similar position – accused of a crime which I had not contrived and did not... not fully commit, and facing harsh punishment for it. His Majesty was kind enough to spare my life and let me redeem myself. Do I not have to try and make such a chance possible for another?“ My voice was trembling a little; there was nothing I could do to steady it. It was, after all, a very dire memory.
All of a sudden, the King was smiling again. „See, Alcarmaitë? He has not forgotten. Azrubêl knows what he owes us.“
„Azruhâr,“ the Crown Prince ground out.
„Just so,“ the King agreed. „Don't you, Azruhâr?“
„Every day I give thanks for your kindness to me, Lord King. No, I have not forgotten. I was convinced that I would die. I think a man remembers everything when he is about to die.“
„Hear, hear!“ said the King. „And now you have redeemed yourself indeed, we are told.“
It was very hard not to contradict him now. I only had a theory and a handful of ideas! That barely counted! Was it really any safer to put off the disappointment, I wondered, or wouldn't the disappointment – and the vengeance – be greater the longer I delayed?

Sensing my uncertainty, perhaps, Lord Eärendur cleared his throat. „Maybe Azruhâr can outline some of the considerations behind his new theory,“ he said mildly, more to me than to the others. „I know that he has put a great deal of thought into it.“
„By all means!“ The Kind was leaning forward as if eager to hear my measly considerations. Today, I decided, was not the day to disappoint him.
„Yes,“ I heard myself say. „Um. As your Majesty know, we have in past years faced the problem that decay might find its way to a corpse through the wrappings. Our previous attempts to seal them with gypsum have proved useless, but resin may be the key. Like in amber, it could create a protective coat that no rot can permeate.“ I was pleased to hear that my voice was gaining in strength as I spoke. Sometimes, once you spoke a thought out loud, it would fall apart and look ridiculous all of a sudden, but in this case, I found the idea every bit as compelling as it had been when Amraphel had first mentioned it. „We will also experiment with coats of pure resin – and we will seek to know whether the source of the resin makes a difference, of course – and we will also study related materials, like pitch or propolis, of course, to compare different methods.“
The King had been nodding with great enthusiasm. His throat and neck, I noticed, had crown as fragile as his fingers, and I was a little afraid that the constant forward motion of his head would eventually prove too much strain on his aged neck. But he seemed to be quite convinced by my words. Not so the Crown Prince. „So this is all still very much in an experimental phase?“ he asked with an unpleasant smile.
„Yes, your Highness,“ I could not help saying. In fact, I thought, it had not even come to the actual experiments, but it was surely better to keep that to myelf. I met his eyes squarely, affecting as much confidence as I could find, hoping that my underlying fear would not bubble to the surface. „I am quite hopeful that resin is the missing material that we have been searching for,“ I said as firmly as I could. I held up the amber pendant – I had not wanted to take it back, but Lord Eärendur had assured me that I could now wear it with impunity, since it had become popular lore by now – and said, „So far, we have had to scrutinise our... clients... every few weeks to see if decay was beginning to work its way in. With the sealing resin, we may be able to leave the embalmed bodies undisturbed for years and years – perhaps forever. Or until the Raisers have found a way to bring their spirits back. Even if it takes them three thousand years.“

The Crown Prince gave a snort of disdain, but apparently did not want to question my methods further. „Well, we are very much looking forward to seeing proof of your theory,“ he merely said.
I tried to copy the dignified wordless bow Lord Eärendur had used to signal acknowledgement to the King, earlier, but I had no time to study its effect because the King spoke up again.
„Yes, indeed! When will you show us the first specimens?“
I briefly closed my eyes, considering my options. „As soon as I can, of course,“ I said. That was, I hoped, vague enough to give me some time. „But your Majesty are aware that proper results need their time...“
„How convenient,“ the Crown Prince muttered under breath. I did not turn this time.
„Of course, of course,“ his father said. „We will be patient! But you mustn't keep us waiting for too long. We may not have that long.“
I bowed my head. „Of course, your Majesty.“
„Good. Yes, very good. I am pleased, Azrubêl. You have done well. You may go back to your work; there is still much to do, as I understand. Eärendur, you will stay a moment longer; we must, after all, discuss your reward.“
„As you wish, Majesty,“ Lord Eärendur said. I rose and made my bows.

To my endless dismay, the Crown Prince also stood up.
„I have some more questions for Azruhâr, if I may, Lord Father,“ he said. I felt my eyes widen in fear even before I decided to give the King an imploring look, hoping that he might spare me from another interrogation at the hands of his son. But he did not understand my wordless plea.
„By all means,“ he said. „Ask away.“
Lord Eärendur had more mercy on me. „Should we not better keep an eye on Azruhâr? Trouble seems determined to find him.“
The King only waved his hand. „I am quite certain that my guards know better now. Alcarmaitë will take care that he is not damaged again, won't you?“
„Certainly,“ the Crown Prince said.
„No reason to worry, then,“ the King decided. Then he called for the treasurer, and my audience was over.
„Outside, if you please, Azruhâr,“ the Crown Prince said softly. He was now standing so close beside me that I could feel his breath on my ear. It set my teeth on edge. Slowly, I willed my feet to carry me through the door, and out into the corridor. I was almost surprised that the guard standing by the door did not immediately fall upon me.

The Crown Prince softly closed the door and gestured for me to follow him into a secluded corner. The guard at the door and the guards at the end of the corridor were still well within earshot, but they were probably trained well to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear. I very much doubted that they would come to my help, should the Crown Prince decide that I was worth dirtying his hands.
I went on both knees, hoping that I could convince him that I was the least threatening person on the entire island of Yôzayân. I bowed my head and clasped my hands behind my back – it would not help me to see his fist coming, nor could I raise my hands to defend myself against the heir of the throne - and waited. He took his time, pacing in front of me as if searching for the perfect angle of attack. I could not help but harbour resentful thoughts. His father the King would already have allowed me to rise. Lord Eärendur would not even have wanted me to kneel in the first place. But the Crown Prince clearly had no intention of letting me stand, although he finally deigned to speak.
„You pride yourself on your good memory, it appears.“
I waited whether anything more was coming. It had not sounded like a question, but apparently it was supposed to be one.
„I do not pride myself on anything, your Highness--“
„Enough of these games! You may humble yourself before me, but I can see through you; whatever you say, you have grown proud and all too sure of yourself!“
I opened my mouth to protest, but then realised that he would not believe me. „I regret to have given your Highness that impression,“ I said quietly.

He snorted, violently; I would not have been surprised if he had spat on me, although he thankfully didn't. „You will regret it, that much is certain. You will fall; I can wait. But we were speaking of your memory. You recall, then, what happened on Erulaitalë?“
Yes, I thought, you desecrated the holiday. I closed my eyes as the memory hammered against my mind. „Yes, your Highness, I believe I do.“ I swallowed hard. „However, it has been brought to my attention that one's memory may not be wholly reliable after a concussion.“
„Hah!“ He snorted again. „How very astute. You have told others about... what you think you remember, then?“
„I have,“ I admitted. „I did not know that you had already explained the events of the day.“
„Whom did you tell? Your wife? Your darling daughters?“
I began to tremble as I began to suspect where this was headed. „Your Highness have nothing to fear from them!“ I said hastily. My fingernails were beginning to dig into my wrists, but I could not bring my hands to relax their grasp on each other. „My children know nothing. The others will say nothing. Lord Eärendur was the one who reminded me that my condition might make my memories unreliable, and who advised me not to contradict your version.“
„Really!“ He was pacing again. His feet, clad in silk stockings with soles of soft leather, fell soundlessly, but I could hear the soft swish of his robes as he walked and turned.
„Really,“ I said. „And I didn't, did I?“
„Indeed. You dropped a great many hints, so you can barely be surprised by this conversation, but you said nothing directly. I must wonder why.“
„Because it seemed unwise and pointless, your Highness. Who would believe my word against yours? Who am I to claim that I know better than you?“
„You,“ he said with a voice full of venom, „are a man who is impossible to predict. You jump over the walls in your way. But when you should triumph, you affect modesty. You take turns that make no sense, and I do not like when I cannot make sense of a man. Look at me!“
I lifted my head, noticing with dread that looking up at him forced me to bare my throat – not, perhaps, to a blade, but perhaps to strangling fingers? His bright eyes seemed intent to read my mind. His lips were, as so often, wrenched in a scowl of severe displeasure. He could have been beautiful, I thought, with his grey eyes and high cheekbones, firm chin and dark locks of hair, but all the glaring and scowling and sneering had already carved harsh lines on his face. He was probably younger than he looked – the same age as Lord Eärengolë, perhaps – but all this anger and bitterness had made him age before his time. One might almost feel sorry for him. That was a shocking, quite irreverent thought, and I hoped that it did not translate into my eyes.

The Crown Prince folded his arms in front of his chest. He would not be strangling me immediately, I thought with some relief.
„It seems that I will have to deal with you a while longer, so I would infinitely prefer to understand your inner workings,“ he announced. „What are your ambitions? What is your prize? What are your fears?“
A thousand things came to mind, one more terrifying than the next. I tried to wall them up safely – perhaps he could read my thoughts, I'd heard people say that Elves could read thoughts, and he had a modicum of Elven blood in him after all – and said the first thing that seemed innocuous.
„I fear you, your Highness.“
He sneered at that. „You hate me, Azruhâr.“
I shook my head, feeling the silly bandages shift. „I could never hate the son of my King, and my future King,“ I whispered. „But I fear you; Eru guard you, your Highness, but I fear you.“
Something in my words seemed to have convinced him. „That is as it should be,“ he said. „And your ambitions?“
I thought long and hard about that question – well, it felt like a long time, anyway, but since the Crown Prince did not yell at me to finally answer, it probably wasn't that long after all. „I don't really know, your Highness,“ I said, perfectly honest. „Ambitions are something I can't afford. Right now, I would like to get out of here in one piece. Other than that, I just want to lead a quiet, content life and offend no-one.“
He waved his hands angrily as if swatting away flies. „I mean your political ambitions, you fool.“
Again, I was reduced to gaping. „Political... ambitions? Your Highness, I am entirely unpolitical.“
„Then why – are – you – here?!“ His voice was rising; he was not quite shouting yet, but it wouldn't take much more volume to be heard even across the corridor and through the heavy ebony doors of the chamber where the King and Lord Eärendur and the treasurer were doing their dealings. The guards stood unmoving, as I had expected, pretending not to hear a thing.

I couldn't meet the fury of his gaze anymore, looking back down to the marble floor (only the usual white kind out here). It was hard and cold; my kneecaps were aching quite fiercely by now. „I am just trying to do my duty, as I understand it,“ I said tiredly. „I will do my duty towards your Highness, too, if you kindly let me know what that duty is.“
The sneer was back. It was probably better than the shout. „So simple?“
„I am a very simple man, your Highness.“
He dismissed that statement with another throwaway gesture of one hand. „Too simple to be true.“ I could feel his fierce, angry stare without even looking up. „Eärendur, for instance, is a complex man with an array of ambitions. What do you think he wants from a simple man such as yourself?“
I forced myself to look up again. Since he did not believe my humility, he would probably assume that I was avoiding his eyes to cover a lie. I hoped that he would believe me if he could see my honest fear. „I truly cannot tell your Highness. I am grateful for his kindness to me, but I cannot claim to understand it.“
He laughed softly, almost pleasantly. „You see, I believe that I am beginning to understand it.“ He began to pace again. I wondered whether I would get away with asking permission to stand up; my knees were now sending stabs of pain into my thighs, while my feet were beginning to fall asleep. But no; he would probably take that as provocation again. At any rate, he was already speaking again. „Do you know, Embalmer, where most of the resin used on this island is harvested?“

I was confused by the sudden change of topic. „Forrostar, I presume?“
„As usual, you presume wrongly. It comes, in fact, from Andustar.“
That was interesting, I supposed, but of no significance to me. The resin, wherever it came from, would simply be delivered to the palace and brought down to the catacombs; I would never inspect the woods or talk to the cutters or anything of the sort. I assumed that some sort of answer was nonetheless required. I settled for, „Is that so, your Highness?“
„It is so indeed.“ He was watching my face with an amused spark in his eye, although that quickly disappeared when he realised that I was not catching on whatever I was supposed to be catching on. He sighed, clearly frustrated by my dullness. „To whom do you think do the resin-cutters of Andustar pay their dues?“
Even with my complete lack of economic knowledge, I could figure that one out. „To Lord Eärendur?“
The Crown Prince's lips twitched in acknowledgement. „Precisely. To kindly Eärendur. If your resin-work – which I personally do not believe in – turns out to be the new way of embalming, they will amount to quite a bit. Eärendur has already mapped out the numbers, no doubt. So you should not delude yourself that Eärendur is protecting you for your sake, or making you precious gifts because he likes you. He is merely seeing to his business interests. He has found a way of furthering his riches and, conveniently, his influence on Father through you. I respect that – it's a clever move. But it is only just that you know that you are only a tool to him, nothing more.“

An expectant silence followed his tirade. I was puzzled. Perhaps I had wanted to believe that the noble House of Andúnië would bother with the likes of me because I had paid a couple of vigilantes and made irregular appearances at the Holy Mountain – I had felt flattered by all this Good Man of Arminalêth stuff – but I had nonetheless known, more or less, that they must have more practical motives. After all, I knew where I came from. I had been born at the foot of the hill, both literally and figuratively, and so my purpose was to serve the purposes of other men. It could make one a little sad, I suppose, but that was what the world was like.
The Crown Prince continued to study me, his eyes full of disdain.
„You don't want to understand, do you?“ he finally snapped. „Your precious Eärendur is only using you.“
I felt my brow knit in confusion. „I know that, your Highness. He calls it an investment.“ The Crown Prince seemed to be expecing outrage or something of the sort. I did not understand why, until I remembered that he believed me to be a proud man. Perhaps a proud man would have been hurt by this information. But I? „I am honoured to be of use to a nobleman,“ I said as evenly as I could. It was not untrue. My grandfather had dreamed of that honour; my father's youth had been dominated by that dream. If I had achieved it, that was no reason to complain.
Sheer incredulity on the Crown Prince's side: his eyes went wide, his eyebrows rose, even his proud chin went slack. „Do you not mind?!“

Of course I minded, in the sense that I minded not being born to the comforts of a merchant family, in the sense that I minded rain on a day when there was work outside, in the sense that I minded the pain in my worn knees right now. But these things could not be changed and had to be suffered; what point was there in getting worked up about them?
„Your Highness, perhaps I do not understand your meaning,“ I said carefully. „I am, as I said, a very simple man.“
He was still staring me down – I would not be able to hold his gaze for much longer – perhaps searching for a sign of truth or a sign of hurt. I only had confusion to offer. Perhaps, at last, he believed it.
„Then go,“ he said with a final sneer. But it was he who turned and walked away and left me, alone except for the guards who still pretended not to be present. I could hear the swishing of his robes as he marched off around the corner.
I got up slowly. My feet had gone wholly numb and began to prickle fiercely when I made them carry my weight. I paced slowly, cautiously, until the needle-stings subsided. My head was spinning again, from exhaustion or relief or some vestige of the concussion. I wished I did not have to wait, but I did. The discussion in the audience chamber seemed to be complicated, because it took a whole while until first the treasurer, and finally Lord Eärendur, re-emerged.

Lord Eärendur gave me a friendly smile as he approached me. „You are unhurt, I see. I am glad of it.“
„Yes, your Grace.“ I trotted along as he made his way through the corridor and exchanged polite words with the guards. The heat of the day had grown even more oppressive; entering it from the cool marble shade of the palace was like running into the steam-soaked curtains of a bath-house. Suddenly, I felt like crying; it was quite a struggle to resist that childish urge. My throat was stinging, but my eyes remained dry.
„I hope you are satisfied with your reward, my lord,“ I said for the sake of saying something.
Lord Eärendur shrugged with the disarming grin I knew so well from his sons. „Trinkets,“ he said. „The true reward is that I am no longer suspected of secretly working against the King's endeavours – for the time being.“ He put an arm around my shoulders as if we were cousins or good business partners. It made my heart swell with happiness. It might be a hollow gesture, meant solely to keep me in a content mood, but it was pleasant nonetheless. It worked.
„Well, I am glad that your investments are beginning to pay off,“ I said, and I was, too. I did owe him a lot, and it was good to know that some of my debts would be paid in royal favours and the resin-cutters' taxes.

From the corners of my eyes, I could see that he was studying my face. „Are you well, Azruhâr? Alcarmaitë did not harm or threaten you again, did he?“
I shrugged. „Given our history, it was almost a civil conversation, your Grace. But yes, there may have been a threat. I'm not sure about it.“
He frowned in a sympathetic manner. „What sort of threat?“
„Well... he asked about whom I had told about... my version of what happened. He assumed that I would have told my family. I... I was scared by the way he said it.“
He nodded, slowly. „That might indeed have been a threat. Did you tell him that I know your version also?“
Shamefaced, I had to admit, „I did.“
„Good,“ Lord Eärendur said to my amazement. I had expected a reprimand, or the end of our purported friendship; instead, he gave my shoulder a reassuring little squeeze. „He knows that he cannot easily get me out of the way. That, I hope, will protect you and your family.“ He paused, studying me from the side. „You are pale as a sheet. Are you very worried? You may stay in my house, all of you, if you feel safer there.“
I shook my head. The throbbing ache was returning, I noticed, but I refused to give in to it. „Thank you, your Grace. I hope that will not be necessary. I hope he understood that I will be no threat to him.“
His eyes were still on my face, his brow contracted in concern. „As you wish. Should you change your mind... you are always welcome, as are Amraphel and your daughters.“
The tears I had suppressed earlier were rising again, making my vision blur. I did not dare to wipe my eyes lest he noticed. He probably guessed something, because he asked, „Are you certain that you're alright? Is your head troubling you again?“
I shook my head again, foolishly. „I am fine,“ I lied. „It's just the heat. And audiences always wear me out; I am so terrified of saying something wrong. That is all.“
I was not going to mention the return of my headache, I decided. Pleasant though the week-long rest had been, I could not make further use of it. It was high time for me to get back to work. Plans and theories were all very well, but at some point I would have to show results.
I needed to return to my duties. After all, I did not want to loose my usefulness.

Chapter End Notes

* Not a queen, presumably, due to the awkward implications. ;) The archer (or alphyn = hunter) is today more commonly called bishop, but since Númenor is said to have no clergy aside from the King (who doubles as High Priest), that term doesn't work. The ancient term of the piece seemed rather more useful! Assuming they'd know chess in the first place, of course, but it would be too cumbersome to invent an original game and introduce the corresponding terminology. We'll assume that there is some kind of strategic board game, and the rest is just translation.