The Song of Skateboard Legolas by Anne Wolfe

The Song of Skateboard Legolas

Read The Song of Skateboard Legolas

Across the ages there's an elf
In every realm or commonwealth
The only thing he lacks is stealth
(But seems to be in quite good health)

Refrain:
He flouts all laws of space and time
No thought for reason or for rhyme
Unto himself a paradigm
Skateboard Legolas!

In Gondolin his tale began
Then left with Idril's caravan
In Mirkwood then he lived a span
Then saved the world! (That was his plan.)

[Refrain]
[Magnificent electric guitar solo]

So when you think you need his aid
And danger it will not abate
Upon the ramparts! There he shades
Thee from the sun, and unafraid
Disdains the foemen's cannonade
And once the field he has surveyed--

[In the cadence of a sports announcer]
He'll ride into the thick of it! Bobbing and weaving, twisting and turning, until no one can tell which way to look or shout-- and what are they doing-- they're beating their swords into skateboards! And some of them around the edges are making roller skates, I'm not sure why-- but no one, no one can rival the true star of the show! Here he is, coming down the west flank, pulling backside spins all the way-- it's Skateboard Legolas!!!

[Refrain x2]
Skateboard Legolas!
Skateboard Legolas!

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Chapter End Notes

My profuse apologies for all the half-rhymes.

(A long-shot, I know, but please get in touch with me if you want to record a cover of this! I'd be delighted.)