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polutropos has requested the following types of constructive criticism on this fanwork: Conflict, Description/Imagery, Mood/Tone, Organization/Structure, Pacing, Point of View, Spelling, Grammar, and Mechanics, Style. All constructive criticism must follow our diplomacy guidelines.


This surprised me, in a good way!

Somehow, the way it started, I thought this might the kind of story where the POV character claims the moral high ground throughout.

But their conversation and interactions turned out to be far more interesting and ambiguous than that...

Also quite sad, though, for both of them!

I haven't found much written about this period in the Fëanorians' lives,  and I really enjoyed where you went with this. I like the very humaness of Denethor's daughter and, indeed, she does seem a good match for the fair son of Fëanor. I'm glad for him that he got to enjoy — in a way — this time with her,  despite the fact that "These bright elves wore their regret like armour and bore their grief as a weapon" — ooph!

The individual locations each son of Fëanor chooses for their marking is interesting, and such a poignant scene.

All these Elves feel weary beyond words, almost beyond caring, those of Beleriand and Ossiriand alike. 

This is a very impactful piece.

Thanks for reading and for this lovely comment, Anerea. I am glad you found this interesting and enjoyable to read. I really couldn't imagine Celegorm (at least at this point in his life) with a 'good' person so she took a morally-ambiguous direction for sure, and it seems that made her more interesting. 

I liked writing that scene with the tattoos and I am glad it turned out poignant. Admittedly it was a bit of a self-indulgent thing I wanted to write based on some fanart I have seen (unfortunately cannot remember where or by whom). I don't actually think they would have gotten tattoos but it's fun to imagine.

"All these Elves feel weary beyond words, almost beyond caring, those of Beleriand and Ossiriand alike." Yes! Absolutely. The Silmarillion for the most part only gives us the high-status Noldor's perspective but I am sure there was plenty of despair to go around in the First Age. 

(Edit: I don't why I can't get my reply to post in the right thread...)

I love this! What a fascinating imagining of the time between the Nirnaeth and Doriath. A wonderful OC, and all the painful moral complexity of the Silm captured beautifully in an unexplored space in the tale. Great!