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chrissystriped has requested the following types of constructive criticism on this fanwork: Spelling, Grammar, and Mechanics, Style. All constructive criticism must follow our diplomacy guidelines.

Heh, if you had posted this story a year and a half ago, I surely would have skipped it. I mean - orcs?!?!?! Not my cup of tea, thank you. :)

So, what is different now? Last summer, I started to write a novel in which the orcs are main characters, so I became very interested in their world. That is why I don't skip orcs-stories any more.

Anyway, a few things to comment. ;)
"You know it isn’t as save here as you pretend" SAFE
"the only think that remained was fighting" THING
This is why a beta-readers is a must. ;)

On the bright side - I like your characters and the way you develop and describe the atmosphere. Well done!

 

Ok, Real Life is looking at me, reminding me that there are things to be done... *sigh* I'll continue some other time.

I'll fix those typos immediately, thanks!

This fic is actually three years old, I'm currently in the process of cross-posting my stuff from AO3. I've been an orc-'fan' for a while, ever since Sharû turned up in my long AU (only on AO3 currently) and turned out to be not so a bad guy. I like to think that most of them could be living normal, happy lifes, if they weren't trained to hate the free peoples. They have to hide any good emotions, because it could get them in trouble and would surely seen as weakness by the other orcs.

While Sauron and Morgoth do their worst with them, they don't manage to completely root out their 'elvishness' -- but they don't know it, because the orcs know better than to let it show.

(I've been writing fanfic for a long time, but I wasn't part of fandom as a community until less than two years ago. Yes, a beta would be helpful, I know, but I'm still a bit hesitant to bother anyone with correcting my typos and weird grammar outside of exchanges ?.)

Haha, I said to Real Life that it had to wait for a while, because your story kept calling me to return to it :)))

I like how you develop this, how you describe their lives. Full of pain and horror and despair. I like the thought that the First Ones kept some memories, and that - thanks to their elvish legacy - they kept something good in them.