Atandil

Series compiled by Eilinel's Ghost

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mountains with mist, title design in text across the image

 

Series Information

Summary:

An ongoing series (estimated to ultimately include around 20-25 works) about Finrod & Bëor, their relationship, and how Finrod copes in the face of that loss. Basically, if you ever wanted a longer than necessary slow burn of these two trailblazing the elf-mortal love tragedy, I've got you covered.

I’m sorry for not having a more consistent schedule on getting these finished, edited, and posted. I’m juggling full-time work and in a busy season there, so I’ve been slipping this in wherever I can, but that does mean I’m a bit unpredictable when it comes to a posting schedule. Currently I'm managing approximately 1 piece every 2 weeks or thereabouts. Thanks for bearing with the slow burn!

Major Characters: Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Aegnor, Andreth, Balan, Baran, Belen, Bëor, Edain, Elves, Finrod Felagund

Major Relationships:

Genre: General, Romance

Challenges:

Fanworks in "Atandil"

This is a Writing fanwork

Part 01: Atandil by Eilinel's Ghost

Warnings: No warnings apply

“I convinced myself the situations were different. I built labyrinths within my reason to justify the pretense, and in their twisting ways I wandered blind till faced with her grief—the tribute paid in pain, as thou hast named it. Till then I could contend that I suffered so thou might be spared; I grieved so that thou might hold love in memory untarnished. That I learned at the feet of Doom to thus keep its step from thine own neck, and so should goodness come of it. Eru forgive me, I was wrong.”

After his conversation with Andreth forces him to face his own rationalizations and hypocrisies, Finrod realizes he needs to come clean to Aegnor and confesses to him both the consequences of his former advice, as well as his own secret grief that motivated it.

 

This is a Writing fanwork

Part 02: Grief in All Her Guises by Eilinel's Ghost

Warnings: No warnings apply

It was danger only if the goal was avoidance, and Balan had no desire to escape. The urge to laugh returned and his heart dared Estreth’s cautions to be true so he might find himself ensnared forever, held motionless on this hilltop, a statue cradled within the other’s hands till the world’s ending. If his soul was consumed in the process, then let it be so. It was a fair price.

A few months after Finrod discovered the Edain near Thalos, he continues to dwell with them and form friendships. Balan (Bëor) attempts to learn multiple languages, some old folktales of the Edain come up in conversation, and Balan and Finrod discuss grief with a side of constellations. Balan has a crush.

 

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Part 03: Unfriends by Eilinel's Ghost

Warnings: Violence (Mild)

Finrod felt the other’s panic strike his perception like a blow and was running even before Balan’s cry reached his ear. In a glance, his eyes took in the scene before him: the camp in sudden stillness, one of the Laiquendi staggering through the clearing, a limp body slung in his arms, Balan and Baran sprinting toward him.

It was Belen in his arms.

The Edain and the Laiquendi cross paths in the woods of Ossiriand and are faced with immediate conflict. Finrod and Estreth work to heal the damage, Balan (Bëor) tries to learn the communication of thought, and the Edain choose where their loyalty will abide.

 

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Part 04: Ye Shall Render Blood by Eilinel's Ghost

Warnings: Violence (Moderate)

In that moment he envied for the first time the mortality of Men. He coveted a death that came upon you softly, death that whispered and held out a hand and let you slip into his arms in sleep. Death that passed his fingers over your eyes and left a visage in peace. Balan’s death.

It's the Fen of Serech, more or less. An oath for an oath, blood for blood.

 

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Part 05: A Shuddering in the Air by Eilinel's Ghost

Warnings: Violence (Mild)

It was a custom done in scorn of death, Balan would tell Finrod later that night as they sat beside the fire in the hush of the midnight watch. He might come ever ravening among them, but they would scorn his maw. Even in their rotting they would lay claim to life.

Balan's people are on the road to Estolad. Finrod begins to suspect his own feelings, there is danger on the road, and we witness Atani burial rituals.

 

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Part 06: Here in Our Frailty by Eilinel's Ghost

Warnings: Violence (Mild)

“Let us not perish here in the long darkness,” Balan said softly, crossing back to take one of the waiting wreaths and set it upon his own brow, “these creatures you chose to form. Remember us, here in our frailty.”

It is Yuletide. The Atani and Finrod celebrate throughout the night as they stay awake to greet the dawn after the Longest Night. Balan's people settle into Estolad, Atani traditions abound, and Finrod faces some memories.

This is a Writing fanwork

Part 07: A Heady Fragrance of Honey by Eilinel's Ghost

Warnings: No warnings apply

That it was returned, he did not question. He could look back now and see everything arranged in its full image, he could trace the careful dance they both wound through this past year; every word, every silence, every touch ringing through with that steady truth. How had he been so blind?

Springtime has come to Estolad. Finrod is struck with a realization he has been avoiding and faces the decisions that lie in its wake.

Hi! And welcome! I was just doing that infamous "one last check before bed" thing, when your post grabbed my attention. I've only read a little bit but I just had to let you know that I've bookmarked your fic and am very intrigued to read it when my brain is more awake!

Just read part 1, and have to say, it's everything I hoped for, and much more! I've been thinking about these two in this respect for a little while, and I really appreciate your take. And your writing is simply a joy. Little details that you include, like the four dogs and their character-matching names, and significance. And Aegnor's hair! "The ever untamable hair danced a precarious balance of appearing both unkempt and immaculate. ..."

And the implications behind this: "The hair, the tower, the martial cut of every robe—the youngest lord of Dorthonion ensured you never forgot the war lying beyond the siege lines without ever uttering a word."

And this: "he felt the pang of transience and gathered the image to him in deliberate preservation, solidifying it but turning the present into memory before its time." Such a truth, and not just for Elves!

I loved this: "But it is Anger held alongside her sister Sorrow, and tempered thus by the company.”
and this: "It was placing a river’s fish within the brined waves and saying to it, ‘live and breathe!’"

and this, is just... “Which nature would they inherit?” he asked at last, his voice heavy. “The father’s or the mother’s? And for which nature should one hope? For by the one inheritance a child would lose its mother ere it reached full maturity—with ever swifter passage for each successive offspring. Thus even in peacetime would the sundering we dread of war be achieved. Or should one hope instead for the alternate bequest? Would it be a kinder fate for the father to watch through ever gathering centuries as his children withered before him, his children’s children, and their children’s children—on through the endless years till he was nothing but a relic, fraught with pain?”

I'm looking forward to the rest of the series!

Wow, thank you so much for saying all that! This meant so much to read! You're the first person to comment on the Chaos Pups and goodness I just adore those four so much. It made my day to know someone else found them enjoyable too. 

Reading over your comment, I just kept grinning because you picked out so many of my own favorite lines to highlight. Knowing especially that the description of Aegnor landed was really encouraging. I've had such a fond place for him in my heart ever since first reading the Athrabeth and there was one day where all of a sudden something clicked and his whole personality just stepped out whole-cloth from there. I'm so glad that line worked as I'd hoped!

I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it! I'm truly looking forward to hearing your thoughts on the rest of the series if/when you have a chance to read what's there so far. Thank you again so much for reading and taking the time to comment!

Excited to see part 3 up, and not disappointed in its lyricism and slow, careful development of their bond. Lovely, lovely. Finrod is eerie and eldritch, but so easy to love. I think this is the best description of the practice of osanwe I've read -- that section was particularly marvelous. And your characters are all so crisp and unique and believable. Wonderful!

omg thank you so much for saying this! I'd been so nervous about the ósanwe portion especially and had no idea if that would land or not. I kept going back and forth over whether to even include it at all or whether it just made the whole thing start to sound like some kind of jedi mind trick. So this means so much to hear! I'm also really encouraged to hear the Finrod portrayal is coming across as I'd hoped. Thank you so much for continuing to read these! 

I have soooo much to say about the feels and enjoyment your writing evokes in me, and the little detailed details you weave in are such magic! I would like to write a more detailed comment for each fic, but my writing capacity seems to be on holiday, so I'm just popping in quickly to say a huge thank you,  this is a real treat you've created and I'm thoroughly enjoying it. (And now I'm off to bed with parts 8 and 9! Yay!!)

Just a by-the-way: all your title banners give me little happies whenever I see them. They're just such satisfyingly good design with such evocative imagery...