Tainted Light by

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Fanwork Notes

The Silmarillion is the book Tolkien worked on for his entire life, so we have different versions of the storyline in the published Silm and the volumes of the History of Middle Earth. In this story, I mainly stick to the published canon, but may take occasional detours.

I will be using Quenya names for the characters; original characters names thanks to the website realelvish . net. We don't know anything about Indis' family tree, so I felt free to invent.

And finally, my heartfelt thanks to my betas Encairion and Dawn Felagund, without whom this story could never have unfolded. :)

Fanwork Information

Summary:

Silme loved and followed Maedhros from the peace of Valinor to his fiery end. Now Galadriel, her cousin and friend, reads her memories, and the exile and downfall of the Noldorin Elves live again through the tale of this doomed love. MEFA 2010 NOMINEE

Major Characters: Fingon, Galadriel, Maedhros

Major Relationships:

Genre: Drama, Romance

Challenges: Akallabêth in August

Rating: Teens

Warnings:

Chapters: 23 Word Count: 104, 293
Posted on 22 April 2010 Updated on 29 September 2010

This fanwork is a work in progress.

Table of Contents

Aikanàr is Aegnor, Findaràto Finrod, Turukàno Turgon, Arafinwe Finarfin, and Fingon is called Nolofinwion as son of Nolofinwe, Fingolfin. Enjoy!

Alcàniel means Blazing Maiden. Thank you to realelvish . net.

If Hobbits can have golf (see LotR, Concerning Hobbits) Elves can have draughts. ;) Daro is a diminutive I made up for Findaràto. Enjoy!

The account of Morgoth's coming to Formenos as told by Maedhros is one of the things Chrstopher Tolkien saw fit to leave out of the published Silm...as you may see here, I do not agree with him. 0:) The title of this chapter is a tribute to one of my favourite books by one of my favourite authors, Garcìa Marquéz...enjoy! :)

Only Christopher Tolkien knows why he did not include the text of the Oath of Feanor in the published Silmarillion...fortunately for us, it is printed elsewhere. Enjoy!

There are several guesses about how much time passed before the Noldor actually left Valinor. I am going with the shortest.

The words of Mandos' Doom are Tolkien's own. Methinks he wrote it to chilling perfection. Enjoy.

To try and reconcile the different chronologies Tolkien gives us for the Battle Under the Stars and the first rising of the Moon has proved impossible; with the precious help of Dawn we have tailored a timeline for this chapter.

We know of the manner of Elenwe's death from HoME.

Next time I'll be posting two chapters at once...don't worry one's not a chapter, just one of Artanis' side notes. Enjoy! :)

In the end I didn't need Artanis' note. The song i pretend was made by the Noldor is a slightly adapted quote from the Song of Salomon. Enjoy! And do drop me two lines. ;)

This chapter is dedicated to Araloth, who persuaded me that Carnistir is hot property - and fittingly identified him as the 'odd man out'. Enjoy.

Sorry for the late update - sailing boats in the Aegean are no place to update a fic, especially when five minutes' spells in internet cafés are all the time you get with a computer (and Greek keyboards are the devil's own work. :P)) Without further ado, here goes the new chapter...fortunately, Tolkien tells us Elves heal fast. Hope you enjoy. :)


Comments

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If you heard a drawn-out squeeeeee from somewhere west of you, that was me upon discovering that you've started to post this! :D (And I was naive that you were even on SWG since I didn't know your pen name. *headdesk* So count that as two pleasant surprises rolled into one.) Since I have seen this story unfold in our emails, I was excited at the potential and find that actually getting to read the story does not disappoint. The prologue and opening section of Chapter One have this wonderful ominous tone that contrasts with the rest of Chapter One (save the occasional hints you drop of Silme's perception of the darkness that lingers just beyond the light of her new affections). The first lines of Chapter One are simply gorgeous; I think I read them three times over in paroxysms of glee for beautiful language. And, of course, I was all fangirly over Maedhros, which I'm sure is not particularly surprising. ;) I eagerly anticipate the next chapter of your epic! (And I will have a reply to the latest email shortly as well. Thank you, as always, for your patience with me! :)

I'm not a big "fan fiction" reader in general, but I am a long-time Tolkien fan. I am not an "expert," I haven't read all of the  Histories and Essays Tolkien produced, but I did read the "main books" (including the published Silmarillion) in grade school, and many times since then. Anyway, this isn't about me, but your story, but I thought the above might be worth noting for things I may have missed.

Whatever... I "discovered" this story on accident a few days ago, and had been wanting to review it, and happily find it actively being updated! For whatever reason, I've always latched onto Maedhros -- not for creepy reasons, but probably for reasons not unqiue to me -- Maedhros tension-filled character as in published story as well as the open spaces left for speculation.

Needless to say, I'm enjoying your narrative a great deal. Fanfiction is a curious genre, and I enjoyed your essay (published elsewhere, I believe) on it. There's much to discuss in your creation here, but for now I'll just note two things that I find stimulating in what you've done (as you can already tell, I'm not much of a writer myself):

a) In general I'm curious with what you've done with Feanor, since we just get the "bad side" of him here, and perhaps that's all that is relevant for your story. But my primary point here is that whatever one makes of Feanor's "moral character," Silme's recounting of her initial experience of him captures quite well his power -- and charisma as his "contemporaries" (even those with whom he never got along, e.g., Fingolfin) must have experienced it. The notion of the obvious infinite of his possibilities is the key here, I think, although the way you put it was much smoother, of course. Welldone.

b) Even moreso, I love what you've done with Galadriel; (forgive me for using Sindarin names, I hope this doesn't get me banned!) to reveal her young self (as well as many of her placid Vanyarian relatives, if in a different way) as sharing in the same sort of pride, arrogance, and prejudice that on the shallow reading of the events of this period one might assign only to Feanor. Silme is clearly aware of something like this, so I don't think I'm over-reading, am I?

I'm curious (and maybe we'll find out later) exactly when Galadriel's prologue was written -- the end of the First Age, or later? Again, I like the image of a young Galadriel "gifted" with foresight but without yet the mature wisdom to fully marshall or interpret it. I wonder (perhaps this is hinted at in the prologue) if the older Galadriel has been hesitant to read the book because she knows she will see the flaws in her younger self (that the later Tolkien, I think, mistakenly played down or eliminated in his notes, although I'm not an expert on that stuff), her pride, and even her inability to escape the "darkness" she saw even as she tries to "be there" (ugh, hate that cliche) for Silme -- in her inability, just as Feanor and Silme's father, to see Maedhros as anything but an extension of Feanor.

So much more to write and ask about (particularly given that Maedhros turns out, in Beleriand, to be an elf-lord every bit as "great," in power and ability, at least as Fingolfin, Fingon, Turgon, and Finrod), but this has gone on too long as it is. And this is meant as no more than an extended compliment expressed in the thoughts your story has sparked. Well done! And please don't delay too long with the coming installments, otherwise, I might have to do actual work.

Hi there! Wow, thank you for such a wonderful, detailed review. Happily I have already started writing chapter 11. :D *feeling virtuous* Like you, I haven't read all of the 'History of Middle-earth' essays, fortunately I have two wonderful betas, Encairion and Dawn Felagund, the latter of which is an absolute expert, so she helped a lot when I was in doubt. And glad you liked the essay too! It was a sort of side job I felt had to be done. 

About the review in itself, yes, here we only see Feanor's 'bad' side. I am not one of those who believe he was always like that, but Silme knows him really too late for much else to show. She arrives when he is already estranged from Nerdanel, embittered, beginning to be poisoned by Melkor's lies...also, as a Vanyarin (and Indis' niece to top it) she is is natural enemy. He wouldn't be nice to her, not for the world. Take the brief moment when he relaxes and compliments Nerdanel on her work as a glimpse of what he was - I have in mind what kind of person he might have been. Here he is at the peak of the curve that will bring him to future, dark actions.

And glad you liked Galadriel too! (Don't worry, for a long time I considered using Sindarin names myself. ;)) No problem in answering you, she reads the book somewhere in the Second Age. And yes, it pains her to remember she has made mistakes too. ;) I always loved Galadriel's character, and frankly did not like Tolkien's late tries at 'sizing her down' in a goody-goody role. If Galadriel had been a goody she wouldn't have sailed to Middle-earth nor been tempted by the Ring. Full stop. (And how boring she would have been then.) And you don't overread at all: indeed I have made it explicit something I always saw in the original text, that Galadriel resembles Feanor more closely than either of them might care to admit. Also, I never went for the idea that Feanor is THE bad one and everybody else, especially the Vanyar, is pure and innocent. Silme is a Vanyar because I wanted to try and see what being one is, leaving all prejudice aside. (But she's also a quarter Telerin and a quarter Noldor - for good measure. ;))

I always thought Maedhros' great tragedy in life would be the impossibility to live up to Feanor's standard, while kept from carving a path of his own. He will be bound to his father's legacy for his whole life - something that ultimately, in almost everybody's eyes, eclipses every achievement he obtains on his own.

For your other questions, I hope future chapters  will answer you...:)

Thanks again! I'd love to hear your thoughts on the story as it proceeds. 

Another excellent chapter. I've resisted the urge to give a lengthy commentary on each, so let me point to one thing I think you've done well: utlizing the periods in which Silme isn't around Maedhros (and thus the "main action" of the books, at least) at least as effectively, if not more, than the time she is. From hints in the earlier chapters, it seems that this will be recurrent (much separation between the two), but of course I'm not asking for spoilers.

I guess one more note: it is refreshing to read a piece aware that all of the Exiles engaged in the Kinslaying, not just the Feanorians. 

 

Keep 'em coming.

Thank you! I love the commentaries, so if you ever feel the urge, do share. (Even privately. ;)) 

I'm glad Silme comes off as well-rounded. I think the tragedy of so many OFCs is that they seem to exist solely for the purpose of romance...so happy Silme does not. 

As for all the Exiles Kinslaying, you'll never find me laying the blame on the Feanorians alone. Like, never. Fingon's host settled the battle? Well, they got their hands dirty doing it. :P

And I'm already working on the next chapter. ;)

Is it uncool for one person to give multiple reviews? Oh well, I'm reading Fan Fiction, how much coolness could there be for me to lose?

 

I just wanted to compliment the cleverness of one particular line of Caranthir's:

“You left us in a hurried manner, Silmë; but I have long since ceased being surprised at your changes of mood.”

 

I can think of two ways to interpret this (although there may be others):

a) Caranthir has noticed, as perhaps the reader has, the Silme's back-and-forths between her family/friends and Maedhros could very well be seen as her "jerking him around," if unintentionally; one can imagine his brother seeing it that way, surely, without attributing it to his grumpy personality.

b) One could also read it a with from the author to the reader to acknowledge that, in order to get a view on particular pieces of "action," Silme's "back-and-forths" are required somewhat frequently. Hey, do what you have to do!

 

It could be both or neither, but it's entertaining at the very least, and a subtle intermezzo in the midst of some heavy themes that doesn't detract from it.

I strictly maintain that fanfic is cool, so kudos for reviewing. ;) 

About that line of Caranthir's, that's just him, as you well noticed, being grumpy...and gruffily protective. Her loyalty to Maedhros has forced Silme in a couple of tight spots: we know it, she knows it, and Maitimo knows it. To Carnistir, though, that just looks like she should have made up her mind, like, years ago, and stuck to the side she'd picked. It was a bit of fun in my part, all right, I confess it. :P

I just suddenly had a certainty of what Silme's behaviour might have looked like from a point of view as cynic as Caranthir...and his wonderfully biting dark streak took over Glad you liked it. :)

How delighted I was to receive notification of another chapter in this saga.  It has been masterfully told to this point, featuring characters that all too often are portrayed as larger than life.  You have made them real, with true needs, wants and regrets.  It has been a long journey thus far, but well worth the walk and I look forward to additional chapters. 

- Erulisse (one L)

 

Thank you for your very kind review! The last period has been nothing short of hectic, I'm relocating abroad for uni, and also I hot happily tangled in an orginal work that now is done, so I hope to be back to more regular updates.

I am glad you are liking the characterization thus far - I firmly believe flaws are good for characters. It's what make them interesting, at least to my eyes...

 

Aaah this is such a both great and amazingly frustrating story. I love how you write youngGaladriel: she is very in character! You made her believable yet strong. On the other hand, I think the romance in this story might be the most frustrating thing in the history of fanfic. :P They're so...stupidly, overly patient. I keep wondering when one of them is going to realise that waiting for the perfect place to settle down is not exactly a good idea when you're cursed/doomed and know it. It is very Noldorin, I suppose, but I can't help but want to slap them both. Do they realis they are most probably promising to wait until they are re-embodied - and that it isn't even all that likely to happen to Maitimo, considering the kinslaying etc? Argh. Those Elves. How typical.
Your interpretation of Maedhros is very different than mine, but it was interesting. I've always imagined Curufinwe as the most likely at least slightly frustrated one, as he obviously inherited his father's passion for creating but would never really emerge from his shadow - one of the worst fates for any big headed artist. On top of that to be called "little father"...I think it says a lot that Celebrimbor shows the same Feanor wannabe frustration later on. I interpreted "Maitimo"as in that he was probably an athlete, and later a kind of manager ( of his brothers :P)/warrior. Nevertheless this version of him was believable to me: after all he was the eldest. I really liked Nerdanel, btw. The way you described her house, too. Silmë...I'm not so sure. I'm fine with a character mainly having her head filled with love and its frustrations, but...what does shedo? Doesn't she have a profession other than being emotional? The strange thing is that though her love life is actually believable, the rest of her just doesn't seem fleshed out in a satisfying way. Maitimo is busy living up to his father, trying to forge etc - but what does she do? Does she/did she have goals other than Maitimo in her life? I just cannot imagine Artanis being friends with someone who doesn't: after all she was probably a pretty busy person, being both one of the great athletes and loremasters of her people. This could be said about the rest of the characters as well. Even Artanis seems oddly idle, which she probably isn't, but the story focuses so much on dramatic emotional conversation alone that their lives outside that seem almost entirely absent. Nevertheless I like the story and hope you update soon. ^^ 

 

Hello! Thank you very much for reviewing, and I am glad you like the story. I completely take your point about Silme: the fact is, the moment I decided to write a story about a character who would fall in love with Maitimo and stick by him through thin and thinner, it was immediately clear to me that such a character could not be a healthy one, nor their romance be anything short of insane. Hence Silme: what we read is an account of her life, articulated around her one passion. Everything else is distorted through it. Even Artanis, maybe the one person whose affection can contrast her obsession with her lover, appears distorted through the lens of her love. It's not the kind of thing I would recommend. In fact, the way I imagined her Silme would have been an accomplished singer and musician...hence her epesse, Lirille (skilled in music). But everything just goes out the window when she meets Maitimo. Eh. Not too inspiring a story, and probs the reason why I am taking my precious time updating, RL aside. ;)