Elf Academy by Fiondil

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Chapter 15: ‘Poor Jud Is Dead’

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15: ‘Poor Jud Is Dead’

The fire, it turned out, was started by illegal campers. Luckily it was contained to a small area of woods, deterred by a sudden snowfall that was oddly localized, for nowhere else in the Brooks Mountain Range did snow fall that day.

Glorfindel couldn’t help but smile when he heard that, listening to the local news on his radio as he sat at his desk just after lunch, writing up the report of the day’s activities. He had learned during his time in Search and Rescue that it was best to write up reports as soon after the event as possible while one’s memory was still fresh.

"And it’s out of the way and I don’t have to worry about it," he told Zach when the young man questioned him about it. Zach gave a shrug, staring at his own notes, which did not seem quite as full as those Glorfindel had made. He scowled.

"What’s wrong?" Glorfindel asked as he carefully made a sketch of the elk tracks he had seen.

"Oh, n-n-nothing really," Zach said with a sigh. "I g-guess I’m not good at this n-nature stuff." While Zach’s speech had improved dramatically over the last several weeks he did still occasionally stutter, especially when he was upset or excited or tired.

Glorfindel put down his pen and gave the Mortal a searching look. "Ranger Pettingill said not to worry about how much or how little you have to write about. If you don’t have too much about animal tracks or whatever, write down your impressions about the environment. What did the air smell like? How did the snow feel under your feet? Was the temperature just cold or frigid? Where was the sun in the sky? Was it already beginning to sink to the west? What colors did you see around you? Was there a bush with bright red berries? What was the trail like? Was it smooth or uneven? Were there inclines or was it predominantly flat?"

Zach stared at him in amazement, but he was nodding and reaching for his own pen, sitting down at his desk and scribbling furiously. Glorfindel smiled slightly as he watched the Mortal writing away even as he returned to his own report.

****

The forest fire had ruined the day’s schedule, for the rangers had planned to conduct a wilderness survival class at the park as well. The students would have eaten lunch there, for the Academy’s cafeteria staff had provided them with a bag lunch. Instead, they ended up bringing their lunch bags with them to the cafeteria, supplementing the ham and cheese sandwiches, potato chips and apples with chicken noodle soup and brownies which were on the menu for the students from the other section. Also, the usual Wednesday afternoon activities had been cancelled. Even Glorfindel and the Twins were excused from teaching the fencing class normally scheduled for that afternoon when Glorfindel reported to Phil shortly after their return to let him know what had happened.

"You guys deserve the day off," the coach said. "So, don’t worry about it."

Thus, once Glorfindel had finished writing up most of his report (he was still debating as to whether he should include the incident with the wolves), it was only about two o’clock. Zach had moved from scribbling into his notebook to writing out a fair copy of the report and even as Glorfindel put down his pen, Zach was doing the same.

"I re-re-membered more than I thought," the young man said with a smile. "I’ll write this up on the computer later but I th-think I’ve got everything."

"Good," Glorfindel said with a smile. "So, now what should we...."

A knock on the door interrupted him and when he called out, the door opened to reveal the Twins. "Some of us are going into town," Elladan said, "to check out the Halloween store. Want to come?"

Glorfindel and Zach exchanged glances and the Mortal nodded. "Sure, why not?" Glorfindel said, turning off the radio.

"Great!" Elrohir said. "We’re all meeting in the foyer in about five minutes." Then they were gone.

"I’m just going to use the bathroom," Zach said, rising from his chair, "and then I’ll meet you there."

"I’ll wait," Glorfindel said and Zach nodded, heading out the door.

****

It turned out that all the Elves and their roommates were going. Cassie and Matt were not with them, having gone to their own homes for lunch. Shane had called them on her cell phone but Matt was planning to see Gloria and Cassie had decided to take advantage of the free afternoon to drive down to Fairbanks to visit her married sister who was pregnant with her third child. So, it was just the ten of them. It was cold enough (for the Mortals at least) that they decided not to walk into town, so they piled into Glorfindel’s mini-van, which made for a very tight squeeze, but they were all laughing as Lily, the lightest of them, ended up sitting on Daeron’s lap, much to her embarrassment, and Jud ended up crouched on the floor where there was a space between the middle seats and the door.

"This is highly illegal," Glorfindel said with an arch look, "but I suppose we can overlook it just this once."

"Just drive extra carefully," Daeron told him.

"Always," Glorfindel replied sincerely as he made his way towards the front gate. The ride was not long at any rate and the road was clear. He found a spot in the supermarket’s parking lot and then they were all piling out of the van. It was already nearly dark and the streetlights were lit. They made their way down the street, crossing over to a pedestrian-only street lined with small shops and a couple of restaurants. The shop they were heading for was actually a Christmas shop opened all year long, but it also had a section reserved for other holidays. At the moment, Halloween items were on display, though they saw that the store’s employees were beginning to bring out Thanksgiving-related items — several different cornucopia, plastic turkeys, ears of Indian corn, different types of gourds and the like. They made their way down the aisles to where racks of costumes and wigs and make-up kits were found, laughing when Elladan plopped a ridiculous looking tangerine-colored wig on his head. Even though Halloween was three days away, there were still plenty of costumes to look at.

"Have you guys decided what you’re going to wear to the party?" Jud asked the Twins. Because Halloween fell on a Saturday, the Academy decided to host a two-day event. Friday night they would be showing a Halloween-themed movie, though no one knew which one. Saturday morning many of the students had volunteered to go into town to help with an annual event known as ‘Paint-the-Town-Orange-Day’. This was when the town’s children would be supplied with paints and brushes and allowed to paint the store windows throughout the business district with Halloween- and Thanksgiving-related motifs. Each child who was participating was allotted a section of a store window and given whatever paints he or she desired. Parents usually watched over their children but others were needed to fetch paints and brushes and other painting material, bring hot cider and cookies to the budding artists and their half-frozen parents, and to help with the lunch that would be set up in the main square once the painting spree was over. The town was footing the bill for the paints, and the restaurants had gotten together to provide a pig roast, along with the usual hot dogs and hamburgers. In the evening the Academy would hold its own party for the students.

"Possibly," Elrohir answered as he idly eyed the various costumes. "We haven’t really decided yet. What about you?"

Jud shrugged. "Nothing as yet," he replied as he wandered down the aisle. Then he stopped and gave a slight gasp. "Hey, look!"

They all gathered around and saw an old-fashioned wooden coffin propped up against the wall. It was painted black and had no lid. Glorfindel noticed the calculating look in Jud’s eyes, glittering with glee at an inspiring thought and wondered what the Mortal was thinking.

"There’s no price tag," Jud said, checking.

"It’s probably just a store prop," Shane suggested.

"I wonder, though, if they’ll let me borrow it," Jud replied.

"Whatever for?" Mithrellas asked in surprise.

Jud just gave them a wicked grin. "Ah... that would be telling." He went off to speak to one of the store’s employees and came back with the manager who looked reluctant to give his permission.

"You’ll need to transport it yourself and I want it back on Sunday," he finally said once he was assured that the coffin would be returned in good condition. "We’re going to be doing inventory so I’ll need it for that."

They lingered a little longer in the store, some of them buying wigs and masks, though no one bothered with the costumes. Just before they left, Jud insisted on trying out the coffin. "Else there’s no point taking it," he said as he gingerly laid himself in it. The coffin was a real one, according to the store manager, made especially for the store by a carpenter of the man’s acquaintance. Thus, it was sturdy enough to lift with a body inside it. When Jud got himself settled, Glorfindel gave Daeron a significant look and the minstrel smiled back, catching on to what Glorfindel was thinking.

"Well, let’s see if it works for real," he said. "Dan, Roy, you grab that end and Loren and I will grab the other."

"Hey, wait!" Jud exclaimed, attempting to sit up, but Lily pushed him back down with a giggle.

"Here," she said, plopping her small bag of purchases onto his chest. "You can carry this for me."

At once the others piled their own bags into the coffin and then to the utter bemusement of the store’s manager and employees and other shoppers, the four ellyn easily lifted the coffin and proceeded out the door, hastily opened by a couple of the employees. Jud was still protesting, but Zach made a shushing noise and put a finger to his lips.

"Be quiet," he ordered. "You’re supposed to be dead." The others all laughed as Jud groaned, clutching at one of the bags that was threatening to fall out.

It was, Glorfindel decided, a rather surreal scene as he and the others carried the coffin down the lighted street. None of the pedestrians could actually see Jud in the coffin, only the various bags piled in it and there was much laughter as the group made their way back to the van. When they reached the parking lot the Elves put the coffin down and Nimrodel helped Jud out. Then the coffin was lifted onto the roof rack and tied down securely with rope that was always in the van. They left their bags in the coffin. The Twins decided they were going to walk back to the college.

"It’ll be less crowded that way," Elladan told them. Daeron decided he wanted to check the music store as well before it closed, so he bade them all a cheery farewell and loped off. Thus, it was only Glorfindel and the two ellith, along with the four Mortals who returned to the campus. Glorfindel drove more carefully than usual because of the coffin. When he reached the gate, the security guard took a look at the coffin and just rolled his eyes, no doubt remembering the crazy stunts he and his friends had pulled when they were in college. Glorfindel just grinned, giving him a wave as he drove through.

Once they reached the Academy parking lot, they scrambled to get the coffin down. "What do you intend to do with it?" Glorfindel asked Jud as they brought the coffin into the young man’s room, propping it up against the two desks. It made for very crowded conditions, but Glorfindel knew that Daeron could deal with it.

Jud just gave them a grin. "You’ll see," was all he said and they had to be content with that.

****

During the next couple of days Glorfindel noticed Jud in whispered consultation with several other students, ones he’d befriended over the weeks. Evan and Zach were in the group, though none of the Elves were, not even the Twins, which surprised him. He was curious but did not try to pry, not even asking Daeron about it. Most likely the ellon knew no more than he did if Jud was not confiding in him. He wondered though that the young man had not included them in his plan, whatever it was, but decided that it wasn’t important. He turned his mind to other matters.

Friday night they gathered for the movie. It turned out to be The Fearless Vampire Killers, the last movie that Sharon Tate had made before her untimely death at the hands of Charles Manson. It was campy and zany and obviously a parody of all the vampire movies ever made. The students laughed uproariously at the gay vampire and found the ending hysterical. Glorfindel and the other Elves enjoyed the movie as well.

"Remind me to buy some garlic next time I’m in town," Daeron quipped as they helped with the clean-up afterwards and the others chuckled.

Saturday after breakfast they all bundled up and went into town to help with the painting project. The weather had moderated slightly so it was not too cold, though the parents standing around watching their children run around with paint brushes looked somewhat frozen and bored. Glorfindel and the others had volunteered to bring hot drinks and snacks to everyone and were busy hauling thermoses of coffee, tea, cocoa and hot cider to the various painting stations, stopping to admire someone’s artwork and chatting amiably with the parents who were grateful for the hot drinks and adult conversation. The students had all decided to wear their Elf Guide outfits with their new name tags which were distributed on Friday. The townspeople were intrigued by them and Glorfindel found himself explaining more than once how he happened to be at the Academy and what he would be doing once the course was done.

"We’re seeing more and more tourists these past years," one man told him with approval. "Good thing, too, as we need the economic boost."

When it was time for lunch they all helped out serving at the picnic tables that had been put up under a huge pavilion in the town square. The smell of roasting pig permeated the air, setting mouths watering. There was a definite festive feel to the square and Glorfindel overheard snatches of conversation as he served the tables in which people were already planning Thanksgiving dinners and holiday shopping.

It was mid-afternoon before they all returned to the Academy to get ready for their own party which would begin after dinner, so everyone was encouraged to come to dinner in costume. The Elves had gotten together some weeks earlier to decide on what they would wear and Nimrodel had had the best idea and so they set out to implement it. They went to a fabric store and found the satins and silks and velvets and brocades they needed as well as acceptable trim.

"Too bad we don’t really have the time to do proper embroidery," Nimrodel said as she looked over the selection of trims.

"These will do fine," Glorfindel said. "No one is expecting authenticity here." In the end, though, he grabbed some bright yellow and dark green ribbons, stating that it would be easy enough to do some ribbon embroidery along the hem of his tunic.

Their selections made, the next problem was finding a sewing machine, for, though they were all proficient in the art of handsewing, it would have taken too long. However, it turned out that the college offered courses in fashion design and textile arts and there were sewing machines available for students to use. So, they made arrangements with one of the teachers to borrow a sewing machine when classes were not being held and over the month they were able to put together their costumes.

Now, they all gathered in the Twins’ room to put on their costumes away from the eyes of the Mortals. They were actually reproductions of the type of clothes they had once worn when Elves had lived openly in Middle-earth. Elladan and Elrohir were wearing tunics and robes of rain-washed blue and silver, the colors traditionally associated with Imladris, while Daeron’s outfit was a more somber forest green and silver-grey. The ellith were wearing matching white brocade gowns. Glorfindel wore a tunic of deep blue velvet trimmed on the hem with ribbon embroidered spider-web roses. Over this was a dark green robe with blue velvet trim, again embroidered with spider-web roses.

All of them wore circlets of gold, silver or, in Glorfindel’s case, precious mithril. Other jewelry was worn as well — elvish-crafted jewelry hoarded over the long ages, never to be sold however desperate they might be for money, carried with them wherever they went in small wooden caskets with enspelled locks of Glorfindel’s design, which no Mortal would ever be able to open.

When they were finished dressing, having checked each other over, Glorfindel gave them a smile. "Tonight, my lords and ladies," he said in softly spoken Sindarin, "the Elves come out to play."

The others laughed as Elrohir opened the door and they made their way out with Glorfindel in the lead, escorting Nimrodel, while Daeron escorted Mithrellas and the Twins brought up the rear. As they processed down the halls to the cafeteria they encountered other students making their way there as well, all of them dressed in various types of costumes. The Elves ignored the sudden gasps of awe as the other students just stopped to stare at them as they went by. Thus, when they entered the cafeteria, they made quite a spectacle. Glorfindel stopped just inside the doors for a couple of moments to allow those already there to notice their entrance. Daeron and Mithrellas joined Glorfindel and Nimrodel and the Twins flanked the two couples. There was almost complete silence for a moment or two and then someone started clapping and soon the entire room was loud with applause. Glorfindel gave Nimrodel a slight smile which she returned and then the six of them made their way further into the room, thus allowing other students to enter.

The cafeteria staff had outdone themselves with decorations. Helium-filled orange and black balloons floated in the air above them and on the tables were ceramic jack o’lanterns with tealights lit inside. The tables were covered with orange tablecloths and there were Halloween cut-outs of black cats, ghosts and pumpkins taped on the windows. In the corner was set up a small sound system and someone dressed as Frankenstein was acting as the deejay. The Elves looked around to see if they could recognize their friends behind masks and wigs and various costumes.

"There’s Shane," Mithrellas said, pointing to Little Red Riding Hood, who was conversing with Darth Vader, "but I don’t recognize anyone else. What was Lily planning to wear?" she asked Nimrodel.

"I think she was... oh there she is!" They looked to see Lily entering the cafeteria dressed in a traditional Chinese gown of deep red and gold, her hair done up in intricate braids. She carried a large red fan. She was gazing around and when Nimrodel waved to her she headed their way.

"Lily, you look lovely," Nimrodel said with a smile.

Lily blushed. "Still can’t get rid of the glasses, though," she replied with a sigh. "I started out not wearing them, but I couldn’t see where I was going so I had to go back to get them. But look at you! You’re all so totally awesome. One would actually believe you were real elves the way you’re dressed."

The real Elves gave each other knowing smiles. "Ah, I see the food line has opened," Daeron said. "Shall we?"

They all nodded and made their way to the line, grabbing trays. The cafeteria staff had donned costumes as well, though in keeping with state laws they were minimal, mostly wearing outrageous make-up and wigs. When they saw the Elves they just stared, forgetting their duties. Glorfindel nearly burst out laughing when he noticed Rachel, one of the younger women helping out in the kitchens, sketch him an unconscious curtsey, her eyes wide as saucers. He leaned over slightly, giving her a warm smile. "Is that plate for me?" he asked and the Mortal startled and practically thrust the plate of turkey, mashed potatoes, dressing and squash into his hands, reddening in embarrassment.

"I don’t see anyone else," Elladan said as they made their way to what they considered ‘their table’, for it seemed they always sat in the same place for every meal and others never bothered to try to sit there. "Where are Zach and Jud? They’re going to miss dinner."

"It’s hard to tell who is who in all these costumes," Glorfindel averred. "Ah, I see Little Red Riding Hood is joining us. So where’s the Big Bad Wolf?" he asked as Shane plopped her tray on the table.

She gave them a wicked grin. "I think he’s dining with Grandma." The others burst out laughing.

By now the food line had thinned down to a few students and there was still no sign of either Jud, Zach or Matt. Cassie showed up wearing a Snow White outfit, claiming she did not know where the others were either. Then, all of a sudden the lights dimmed out, leaving only the candles as illumination. Everyone stopped their conversations to look about, wondering what was happening. Glorfindel saw several students bring one of the tables to a cleared area. Someone brought a tall candle sconce with a white candle in it and placed it at one end of the table, lighting it before disappearing into the darkness. Frankenstein was fiddling with the cd player and then Alice Cooper’s Ashes to Ashes filled the room. The cafeteria doors, which had been shut, now opened slowly, and there were gasps from various students as they saw six men enter, all dressed in Dracula-style costumes, and carrying Jud’s coffin. They turned to their left and made their way through the cafeteria in a slow march until they had gone all the way around to where the table had been set up. There they laid the coffin down carefully, being sure not to jostle the candle and people could now see that someone was lying within it.

It was Jud, dressed similarly as the coffin-bearers, his hands folded on his chest in which he held a single plastic white lily, his eyes closed. The coffin-bearers ranged themselves around the table so that everyone had a clear view of the coffin and its contents. Glorfindel recognized Matt, Evan and Zach standing there with their hands folded and their heads bowed looking like proper mourners. He was not sure of the identities of the other three. Alice Cooper’s voice faded into silence and then after a moment Zach started singing. As Glorfindel listened to the words, he had to force himself not to laugh out loud:

"Poor Jud is dead,

poor Jud von Frank is dead.

All gather round his coffin now and cry.

He had a heart of gold,

And he wasn’t very old.

Oh why did such a feller have to die?"

And then from out of the coffin, they heard Jud echo the last word and one of the other ‘mourners’ put a finger to his lips and made a shushing noise. That made everyone laugh, but they quieted down almost immediately as Zach took up the next verse.

"Poor Jud is dead,

poor Jud von Frank is dead.

He’s lookin’ oh so peaceful and serene."

"Serene," echoed Jud and there were snickers among the audience.

"He’s all laid out to rest,

with his hands across his chest.

His fingernails have never been so clean."

"Clean," echoed Jud, now lifting one of his hands and blowing on it before brushing it on his clothes. The same ‘mourner’ who had shushed him, quickly grabbed the hand and put it back in place. Now the whole room was laughing uproariously and there was some spontaneous applause. Zach then continued.

"Poor Jud is dead,

poor Jud von Frank is dead —"

"Not from where I’m sitting!" someone yelled out and the laughter started again. It took a moment for it to calm down so Zach could continue the song.

"His friends are weepin’ wail for miles around."

"Miles around," Jud echoed.

"The daisies in the dell

will give out a different smell

because poor Jud is underneath the ground."

And then Jud started singing the next verse, never moving from the coffin, his eyes still closed:

"Poor Jud is dead,

a candle lights his head.

He’s layin’ in a coffin made of wood."

"Wood," all six ‘mourners’ echoed.

"And folks are feelin’ sad

’cuz they used to treat him bad

and now they know their friend has gone for good."

"Good," the mourners sang.

Jud opened his eyes then and gave them the finger, which really set everyone off in hysterical laughter. Glorfindel found himself laughing so hard that tears were running down his cheeks. He had to hand it to these young Mortals. They were able to take a serious subject such as death and turn it into a comedy, but then, Mortals had always been that way and he admired them for it. He glanced around their table and saw that the others were equally amused by the show. Daeron caught his eye and gave him a thumb’s-up in approval.

Now all six ‘mourners’ and Jud were singing:

"Poor Jud is dead,

a candle lights his head.

He’s lookin’ oh so purty and so nice.

He looks like he’s asleep,

it’s a shame that he won’t keep

but it’s summer and we’re runnin’ out of ice."

"Just throw him outside," someone yelled.

"Pooor Juuud, pooor Juuud," Zach intoned at the very end and then he blew out the candle. At once, there was a standing ovation as the students climbed to their feet, applauding and whistling their approval. The lights went up and Zach and the others helped Jud climb out of the coffin. They all bowed to the audience and then Jud took the candle while the other six lifted the table and carried it out of the way. Frankenstein turned on the cd player and everyone resumed eating. In a short while, Jud, Matt and Zach joined them once they had gone through the cafeteria to get their dinners. They had broad grins on their faces as their friends greeted them, congratulating them on a job well done.

"It was all Jud’s idea," Matt said.

"When I saw that coffin," Jud explained with a laugh, "I just knew what I wanted to do."

"Well, I say you were very successful," Daeron said, lifting his glass of water. "To Jud," he toasted. "May he never lack for mourners."

Everyone laughed at that as they toasted the young man who actually blushed.

When dinner was over the party began for real and it went on past midnight with dancing and playing silly games, such as pin-the-tail and bobbing for apples. At one point Glorfindel was standing in a corner, watching the party around him, sipping on a root beer. Daeron joined him, giving him a brief smile.

"Not bobbing for apples?" he asked slyly.

Glorfindel laughed. "In this outfit? I don’t think so."

"The Day of the Dead," Daeron said musingly.

"When the walls between the worlds grow thin," Glorfindel added with a nod.

"Do you think our friends can see us?" the Sinda asked, looking more pensive.

Glorfindel sighed and shook his head. "I don’t know, but I would hope that if they do, they would approve of what we are doing."

"I’m sure they do," Daeron said softly, though there was just a hint of doubt in his voice. The two Elves continued watching the Mortals in their play, both of them lost in memories of friends and family long gone.

If you really are watching, gwador, Glorfindel sent a prayer winging into the ether as he thought of Finrod, I hope you are not too disappointed in me.

There was, of course, no reply.

****

Note: The song ‘Poor Jud is dead’ is from the musical Oklahoma. The verses have been adapted to fit the circumstances of this story.