Elf Academy by Fiondil

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Chapter 13: ‘Pine Cone’ Is Not an Elvish Name!

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13: ‘Pine Cone’ Is Not an Elvish Name!

The Friday night movies had ceased to be suggestive of messages for the Elves. In fact, beginning in September, they were all Christmas-related movies. So far they had seen White Christmas, It’s a Wonderful Life, and Miracle on Thirty-fourth Street, as well as The Santa Clause. The first Friday of October, which marked the end of the first week of the second half of the term, the movie was the ridiculous and rather atrocious Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. Why the school had chosen that particular movie was beyond comprehension. Yet, Glorfindel noticed that the students howled in laughter throughout the movie, throwing popcorn at the screen and making rude comments on the dialogue, costumes and acting (or lack thereof). He and the other Elves had noted during the past week that many of the Mortals, including their friends, were acting tense and stressed out. Glorfindel suspected that now that the term was half over, they were beginning to realize that their goal to become Christmas Elves was in sight and the reality of the situation was finally hitting them. Watching the antics that night and seeing the broad smiles and relaxed attitudes as the students happily cleaned up after the movie, Glorfindel decided that the strategy had worked. Perhaps no other movie could have helped relieve the tension among them.

True to Pettingill’s prediction, the snow began falling that very weekend. The Elves made a conscious effort to remember to put on warm coats, hats and gloves before venturing outside and not to walk on top of the snow (Glorfindel especially had to ‘pull rank’, as Daeron put it, on the Twins about that). They continued their classes. On Wednesday, they and their friends went to the classroom early before the other students. Ranger Pettingill was already there. He gave them an enquiring look as they trooped in with smiles on their faces. Wordlessly, they all opened up their guidebooks to various pages where the ranger could see that the line drawings had been crayoned in. He glanced at the pages, then up at the smiling faces of the Elves and Mortals.

"And you managed to stay inside the lines," Pettingill said with a straight face. "I’m impressed."

That set everyone laughing (the Elves had finally gotten the joke) and they spent a few minutes before the other students began shuffling in speaking with the ranger. Glorfindel confessed that he’d been with Search and Rescue.

"So all this is rather old hat for you," the ranger said, "at least the CPR and First Aid parts."

"True," Glorfindel averred, "but as I have always kept up with my certifications even when I was no longer with SAR, I haven’t really minded."

Pettingill nodded, obviously pleased with his answer and then it was time for the class to begin.

****

With the snow, physical activities moved inside. Basketball replaced softball and such activities as folk dancing, bowling and fencing were offered. Archery was still held and Glorfindel and the Twins continued to help out there. When they learned that fencing was also being taught they convinced Phil to let them teach that as well. All three ellyn had learned to use the rapier back in the seventeenth century and they had even been members of the famed Musketeers for a time.

"So, is there anything you guys can’t do?" Phil asked them when they ably demonstrated their fencing abilities.

The Twins shrugged almost as one. "Well, I’ve never gotten the hang of ribbon embroidery," Elladan said with a straight face and would not look at Glorfindel, who merely shook his head in amusement.

Phil snorted good-naturedly and let it go.

****

On the following Friday, Roland Smith brought up the topic of names.

"We think it would be best if everyone comes up with a name that might be considered elvish rather than using your own names," he told them. "We will be asking everyone to submit a name by next week so we can check to see that there are no duplicate-sounding names or ones that might be considered inappropriate before we send them to the embroidery shop so they can make your name tags. So, choose a name from your favorite fantasy novel or movie if you’re into that sort of thing, or make something up, perhaps basing it on some aspect of nature. Names associated with Christmas or the holidays in general as well as winter would probably fit the bill."

Glorfindel had no doubt that he and the other Elves would simply use their actual names, but he wondered what names their Mortal friends would choose.

Later that evening, as they were watching The Bishop’s Wife with Cary Grant and David Niven, Nimrodel leaned over to whisper into Glorfindel’s ear. "So, did you ever know a Maia named Dudley?"

Glorfindel gave her an amused smile and shook his head. "But then, I cannot claim to have met them all," he whispered back and Nimrodel chuckled as she settled back into her seat.

The topic of names came up again on Sunday during breakfast when Jud announced he’d found the perfect Elf name for himself.

"Frank Incense," he said, making it two words. "Get it? My last name is von Frank, so... Frank Incense."

The other Mortals groaned at the pun while the Elves looked a bit nonplused.

"Has anyone else come up with a name?" Glorfindel enquired.

There were several nods. "I was thinking ‘Pine Cone’," Zach announced.

The Elves just stared at him in disbelief. "‘Pine Cone’ is not an Elvish name!" Daeron exclaimed in disgust, much to the surprise and confusion of the Mortals.

"Thoneredh," Elrohir muttered, translating it into Sindarin. "What sort of name is that?"

"Anyone else?" Glorfindel asked, almost dreading the answer.

"Christmas Star," Cassie ventured.

"Mistletoe," Shane offered, "or maybe Sugar Plum." She grinned as everyone rolled their eyes.

"Snowflake," Lily answered, though she looked somewhat doubtful about it now.

"More like Nipiseg," Mithrellas said with a laugh. "Little Snowflake," she added, translating when Lily gave her a confused look.

"What about you, Matt?" Elladan asked the young man. "Did you come up with a name?"

Matt nodded. "Bernard," he replied.

Everyone looked at him in surprise, especially the Elves. The name was so ordinary sounding compared to everyone else’s. "Bernard?" Nimrodel asked in disbelief.

Matt smiled. "Yeah, sure. Like the elf in The Santa Clause, remember? He was way cool."

Shane gave Glorfindel a glare. "So what name have you chosen? You don’t seem to like ours all that much."

"Glorfindel," the ellon answered immediately.

"Glor-what!?" Shane demanded.

"Glorfindel," he repeated with a smile.

"Okay...." she said, then looked at the Twins. "What about you guys?"

"Elladan."

"Elrohir."

Before she could ask, the other Elves volunteered their names.

"Daeron."

"Mithrellas."

"Jane."

"Excuse me?" Shane asked, giving Nimrodel a jaundiced look while everyone just stared at her in disbelief.

The elleth laughed. "Just kidding. It’s actually Nimrodel."

There was a pause as the Mortals contemplated the names. "Well, they sound pretty... different," Lily finally said.

"They even seem to incorporate part of their real names," Jud pointed out, sounding impressed.

Glorfindel hid a smile at that, for in truth it was just the opposite.

"What’s wrong with the names we’ve come up with?" Cassie asked. "It wasn’t easy to come up with a name that sounds like it might be elvish."

"But ‘Pine Cone’?" Elrohir asked, looking at Zach. "Why ‘Pine Cone’?"

Zach shrugged. "I was taking a w-walk and saw these pine cones lying on the ground and just decided it was as g-good a name as any."

"No one’s taking this naming thing seriously, you know," Matt said. "I mean, why should they?"

"Why shouldn’t they?" Glorfindel countered. "If they don’t take their names seriously, how can they take the rest of it seriously? How do they expect their clients to take them seriously if they introduce themselves as Pine Cone or... or Sugar Plum?"

"So what are you saying?" Jud demanded. "This whole Christmas Elf thing is pretty wacky when you come right down to it. I mean, c’mon. Elves? No one believes in elves anymore. They’re just fantasy."

Glorfindel had to force himself not to react to Jud’s words, as much as he wished to. He couldn’t fault the Mortal, or any of them, really, for their disbelief. Elves were indeed fantasy creatures to them, figures from nursery tales and nothing more. He could tell the others wanted to show their friends the truth of their existence, but centuries of caution took hold and they stayed silent.

"Yet, it behooves us to at least pretend that we believe in their existence," Daeron said, "in order to complete the persona that we will present to our clients, especially the children. If we introduce ourselves with names such as ‘Pine Cone’, they’re going to know that we take neither ourselves nor them seriously."

"He has a point," Cassie averred after a moment.

"So, ‘Frank Incense’ is out, huh?" Jud asked, looking a little deflated.

"I’m afraid so," Glorfindel replied with a sympathetic smile.

"How did you guys come up with your names, anyway?" Lily asked.

Glorfindel wasn’t sure how to answer that. "We just did," was the best he could come up with, knowing it was an unsatisfactory answer.

"Maybe we can help you come up with names like ours," Daeron offered to the Mortals.

"We can make a list and you can choose from it," Mithrellas added.

"Why don’t we make a list that has enough names for all the students?" Elladan then suggested. "I imagine that some people will be hard-pressed to come up with something and this way we can... uh... make sure we don’t get any more... um... Pine Cones."

"Would that be all right with you?" Glorfindel asked the Mortals. They all nodded.

"Though, I thought Snowflake was okay for a name," Lily said with a sigh.

"We’ll find you one that’s even better," Nimrodel promised her with a warm smile.

So it was agreed. Since it was Sunday and nothing was planned, the Elves gathered in the Twins’ room to discuss the matter of names.

"So, do we make up names like ‘Thoneredh’ or make a list of every Elf we’ve ever known and see if we can find enough names for everyone?" Elrohir asked.

"We either find names that can be used by both men and women, or we have to come up with two lists, one for each gender," Glorfindel said.

"It might be easier to come up with two lists," Daeron replied.

The others nodded. "I think it would be fun, though, to make up a few names that could plausibly be given to an Elf," Mithrellas said.

No one had any objections to that. "Let’s see how many names we can come up with and then, if we need to, we’ll create other names," Glorfindel said. "There are about two hundred and eighty-students, not including us. I think there are more women in the class than men, but we should come up with an equal number for each, so let’s say a hundred and fifty just to be safe."

"Can we come up with a hundred and fifty names for each gender though?" Elrohir asked.

"Let’s see," Glorfindel said and he asked Elladan to record the names for men while Nimrodel volunteered to do the same for women. Then they took turns calling out the names of friends and relatives long gone. When they had run out of names, they took a look at the lists. There seemed to be more male names listed and in fact, the list was only a few names shy of the hundred and fifty they were aiming for.

"We’ll have to create some names then," Glorfindel said, looking over the list. "Anyone have any ideas?"

"Well, seeing as how it’s nearly winter and all," Mithrellas ventured, "how about ‘Rhíuial’?"

The others nodded. In fact, the name was quite plausible and would not have raised any eyebrows among the Sindarin-speaking Elves of old. Other plausible names were offered by one or the other of them until both lists had the requisite number.

"All right," Glorfindel said in satisfaction. "Now all we have to do is see that everyone gets copies of the lists." He glanced at the Mickey Mouse clock that sat on the window sill. It was the Twins’ pride and joy. "It’s nearly noon. Let’s go find our friends and show them the list and see what they think."

****

"Whoa!" Shane exclaimed when she was handed the list of female elvish names as they were all sitting down for lunch. Lily and Cassie were looking over her shoulders. "You guys work fast." She scanned the names, mouthing them under her breath, though half the time she mispronounced them. "There are so many. How do we even choose?"

"Do these names even mean anything?" Matt asked as he, Jud and Zach were examining the list of male elvish names.

"You know," Daeron interjected, his expression thoughtful, "we could hold a lottery."

"What do you mean?" Glorfindel asked.

"Let’s do up the lists as planned and post them on the cafeteria bulletin board so everyone can see them and then make an announcement that there will be a lottery," Daeron explained. "We’ll need four boxes, two for each gender. All the male students will put their names in one box and there will be another box with the male elvish names on slips of paper. Same with the women. Then we draw a student’s name and an elvish name from the appropriate box until everyone has a name. People can swap names if they want, but only after everyone has gotten one."

"Hmm... that might work." Glorfindel averred. "And if we make it into a party...."

"That will be even more fun," Cassie said with a grin. The others liked the idea as well.

"We don’t have much time to organize it though," Elladan pointed out. "The Administration wants that list of names by Friday."

"We’ll have to arrange for something during the week, after dinner," Glorfindel said.

"Wednesday night might be the best night," Daeron said. "That will give us time to set something up with the cafeteria staff."

Glorfindel nodded. "I’ll go speak to Grace," he said, naming the kitchen manager and got up from the table and left. He was gone for about five minutes, and when he returned, he had a huge smile on his face.

"It’s all set," he said as he sat down. "Grace says she’ll have the other section make loads of Christmas cookies during that morning’s cooking class and they’ll have everything set up for right after dinner. They’ll even provide us with a fruit punch."

"We should get something set up for the bulletin board by tonight," Daeron said, "so people have a chance to look over the list."

"What if someone doesn’t want to do the lottery?" Zach asked.

Glorfindel shrugged. "No one is forcing anyone to do it and they have the right to choose their own names if they wish, but, you know, I think most will like the idea, especially if we make it into a party."

"Just one thing," Shane said waving the sheet of paper still in her hands. "Do you think you can provide us with a pronunciation guide?"

Nimrodel nodded. "I will use the computer and write up each name and how to pronounce it correctly."

"If you make tables you can put each name into a box and then cut them out," Cassie suggested.

"Thanks. I’ll do that," Nimrodel said.

****

The announcement of the name lottery generated a great deal of excitement among the students and by Wednesday that excitement was at its peak. The cafeteria staff outdid themselves, for when people came in for dinner they found the place festooned with balloons and ribbons. Several tables were set aside along one wall filled with all kinds of holiday cookies courtesy of half the class. Two large punch bowls, one on either end, held delicious fruit punches with real fruit and ice cream floating on the top. Meanwhile, Daeron had found four boxes with lids. He bought some silver and gold wrapping paper and covered the boxes with them and then labeled them: MALE STUDENTS, FEMALE STUDENTS, MALE ELVISH NAMES, FEMALE ELVISH NAMES. The last two boxes were already filled with slips of paper. Blank slips were provided for students to write their names as they came in to eat.

When dinner was over, the tables cleared of trays, people went to the side tables and got some cookies and a cup of punch before settling back in their chairs. Glorfindel and the other Elves went to the front where another table had been set up with the boxes.

"Did everyone get a chance to put their name in?" Glorfindel asked and there were yells of assurance that that was the case. "Okay. So, this is how it will work. We’ll draw a name from each box, boy, girl, and we’ll draw a name from the appropriate elvish box. Darren is going to record the name for the guys and Misty will do the same for the girls. Once everyone has a name, if you don’t like what you have, you will be free to swap with someone else provided they wish to trade. However, I think you’ll agree that all these names are pretty cool. We have provided a pronunciation guide for each name as well, but if you’re not sure how to pronounce the name you have, just come to one of us and we’ll help."

"Aren’t you gonna participate?" someone asked.

Glorfindel shook his head. "We’ve already got our names. See?" He pointed to a hastily made name tag pinned to his shirt pocket. All the other Elves had their own name tags. "Some of our friends thought they were very elvish sounding and asked us to help them come up with their own names. That’s how the lists got started and then we thought it would be fun to do this lottery. Some people probably are still hunting for a suitable name and are panicking right about now."

There were appreciative chuckles throughout the room. "So, we’ll shake up the boxes just to make it more fair," Glorfindel said and the Twins dutifully shook the four boxes before removing their lids. "And now, we’ll start."

Elladan reached into the box for the men and pulled out a slip of paper. At the same time, Elrohir pulled out a slip from the box with male elvish names. They handed the slips to Glorfindel who took them and read them out loud.

"Jason Collins." One of the young men leaped up, his eyes bright with a mix of curiosity and trepidation. Glorfindel smiled at him. "Congratulations, your name is now ‘Fingolfin’."

Jason smiled as Glorfindel handed him the two slips of paper, motioning him to go to Daeron so he could make a record while the rest of the room broke out in applause. Then, Elladan reached into the women’s box and everyone hushed as his twin did the same with the box of female elvish names. They handed the slips to Nimrodel who would be announcing the names for the women.

"Chloe Williams," she called out and the young woman gave a little squeal as she leaped up. "Congratulations, my dear, your new name is ‘Gwilwileth’." She leaned over and whispered into the Mortal’s ear. "It means ‘butterfly’."

"Butterfly," Chloe said almost reverently as she took the slips of paper from Nimrodel and went over to where Mithrellas waited to record her names.

Meanwhile, the Twins moved back to the men’s boxes while Glorfindel spoke. "And next....."

****

It took nearly an hour and a half to get through all the names. Every student had participated and there was much laughter among them as they tried out their new names with one another after the lottery was completed, attempting to pronounce the names as correctly as possible, running to one of the Elves when they weren’t sure if they were getting it right, and then running back to their friends with triumphant smiles as they grandly introduced themselves.

Looking about at the milling students, Glorfindel found it rather incongruous to hear a diminutive black student introduce herself as ‘Galadriel’ or Zach announcing that he was ‘Finrod’, but he could see that everyone was happy with their names and he was content. Their other friends had received names both real and created: Matt was now ‘Lossnor’, while Jud was ‘Gil-galad’; Cassie was now ‘Lossileth’, while Shane had gotten the name ‘Arwen’ and Lily would now be known as ‘Melian’.

"I think the lottery was a success," Daeron said softly to Glorfindel as he handed him some punch.

Glorfindel nodded. "I think you are correct," he replied and smiled as ‘Eärendil’ approached them and he spent a couple of minutes coaching Evan on how to pronounce his new name.

****

All names are Sindarin.

Lossileth: ‘Snowstar Lady’.

Lossnor: ‘Snowfire’.

Nipiseg: ‘Little Snowflake’ (nipis is a cognate of the Quenya niquis).

Rhîuial: ‘Winter Twilight’.

Thoneredh: ‘Pine-tree Seed’, which is the closest I could fine to ‘pine cone’ in Sindarin [thôn ‘pine-tree’ + eredh ‘seed’; in compound words thôn becomes thon, cf. Dorthonion ‘Land of Pines’].