Elf Academy by Fiondil

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Chapter 9: Red Is So Not My Color

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9: Red Is So Not My Color

When the others returned from Fairbanks later that afternoon, loaded down with packages, they found Glorfindel sitting in the reading lounge enjoying a cup of Earl Grey and a paperback mystery that he had bought in the town’s tiny bookstore, having stopped there on his way back to the Academy. The other Elves were not surprised to see him with such a book, for they knew that Glorfindel loved reading mysteries, especially historical ones set in distant times and exotic places and they recognized the author as one of his favorites. From the cover it appeared that this one was set in ancient Egypt.

"I think I know whodunit," Glorfindel told them, "but I’m not entirely sure."

"Why don’t you just read the end and find out?" Shane asked and all six Elves and several of the Mortals gave her disbelieving looks.

"What’s the fun of that?" Glorfindel asked with a smile. "Besides, I’ve read other books by this author and she always has a twist to the story. Just when you think you’ve solved the riddle, she throws in a piece of information that makes you rethink all your suppositions. She’s very good at keeping you guessing right to the end." Then he looked at all the bags they were carrying and gave his friends a sly smile. "So, did you buy me anything?"

"Hey, man!" Jud said. "You should’ve come with us if you wanted anything."

Glorfindel just laughed. "Perhaps next time."

"Actually, mellon nîn, I did get something for you," Daeron said, fishing through one of the bags and pulling out a smaller bag, handing it to Glorfindel. "The mall had a Christmas shop," he explained, his eyes twinkling with mirth. "I saw this and thought of you."

Glorfindel peered inside the bag, but whatever was in it was wrapped in tissue. He reached in and brought it out, unwrapping the rather large and heavy object.

"A snow globe!" he exclaimed, smiling widely. He shook the globe and watched the flakes swirl around the miniature image of a castle-like edifice with words over the entrance that read Santa’s Workshop. A snow-covered red-and-white-striped sign post in front was labeled North Pole and to complete the scene was an elf carrying a wrapped package and a reindeer with a suspiciously red nose.

"Not just any snow globe," Daeron said with a wicked grin. He took the globe from Glorfindel and turned it over to show that it was actually a music box. Giving the key a few turns he released it and then they were listening to the tinny strains of ‘Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer’.

Glorfindel broke out laughing, giving Daeron a fierce hug. "Gen hannon," he said with quiet sincerity.

"You are more than welcome, mellon nîn," Daeron replied just as quietly. "Are you feeling better?"

Glorfindel pulled out of the embrace, giving the ellon a nod. "Yes, thank you, I am. Well, why don’t you all divest yourselves of your goodies and then we’ll go get dinner?"

The others agreed to that and they all dispersed, leaving Glorfindel alone to play with his snow globe.

****

On Monday, they went to their classes and in the afternoon, Glorfindel and the Twins started teaching archery. More students had signed up for the class who had never used a bow before. At first there was a lot of fooling around and joking, with nervous titters from some of the archers at their own ineptitude, but the utter seriousness with which the three Elves approached the task of teaching soon sobered the students and in a short while there was only the sound of arrows being released and hitting the targets with the occasional groan when an arrow went wide. Towards the end of the session, Phil asked them to give a demonstration of their skills. Many had seen them shoot before but not all.

This time, they set up three targets and then Glorfindel paced out the distance which was not as far as it had been before, but it was certainly further than any Mortal could shoot and hope to hit the target. Then they took their positions with Glorfindel in the middle. Elladan was on his left with Elrohir on his right. What was odd about their stances was that Elladan was not facing his own target, but Elrohir’s, while Elrohir was facing Elladan’s target, for those targets had been set at a diagonal.

"So, why are you gonna shoot like that?" one of the students asked, clearly puzzled by the set up.

"It’s a test of skill," Glorfindel explained. "We’ll shoot at the same time. The object is not only to hit the target, but also not to hit anyone else’s arrow."

There were incredulous looks all around. Glorfindel ignored them and nodded to the Twins who took up their stances. "On the count of three," he said and the Twins nodded. There was a slight pause and then Glorfindel yelled out, "Three!" Immediately arrows began to fly. None of the Elves paused but shot continuously until all arrows were spent.

A profound silence reigned over the archery field as the Mortals stared at the three targets. Nearly every arrow had landed somewhere in the three bull’s eyes. Two, however (one of them Elladan’s and the other Elrohir’s), were in their respective red zone. Both Twins muttered in disgust. Glorfindel just smiled. "You both hesitated for just a second. Why?" He was in teacher-mode and they recognized it.

"The wind," Elrohir explained. "It shifted slightly at the last minute."

Glorfindel nodded. "You did not sense the shift in time," he stated.

"What do you mean, sense the shift in time?" someone asked. "How do you know if the wind is gonna shift or in which direction? That’s crazy man."

Glorfindel shrugged. "It is a skill, like any other, one that you must also learn to some degree. If the wind suddenly shifts as you’re shooting, the arrow might miss your target or at least not hit where you were aiming."

"So, how long does it take to learn that?" another student asked.

Glorfindel gave the Twins a sardonic smile which they returned with ones of their own before Elrohir answered with a laugh. "Years."

"Centuries," Elladan chimed in, also laughing

"Millennia even," Glorfindel said with a wink.

"So you mean never," someone said with a groan.

"No," Glorfindel replied. "I mean that it’s a skill that one never fully learns. The best one can do is notice certain signs and make a guess as to which way the wind is going to go. An archer has to be aware of more than just the target in front of him. He has to be aware of all that is happening around him, including what other archers are doing." He nodded towards the three targets to underscore his point. "We can teach you some of that; the rest just takes continuous practice, as with anything in life."

Then the class was over and Phil gave the three Elves a wry look. "An interesting exhibition," he said. "Do you have more such tricks up your sleeves?"

Glorfindel shrugged. "Perhaps. At any rate, we’re here to teach, not to show off."

Phil nodded. "Yes, you are, and you are doing a great job. Ben and I are quite impressed. Some of the more experienced students have been asking about forming an archery club and perhaps competing against other schools. I know that several colleges in the state are forming such clubs and organizing meets. We’re planning to meet twice a week for a couple of hours, say from seven to nine in the evening, probably on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and perhaps on the occasional Saturday or Sunday afternoon, especially when preparing for a meet. Would you be interested in helping out?"

Glorfindel looked at the Twins who nodded. "Sure," he said. "We’d be glad to."

"Great," Phil replied. "Ben’s gonna be in charge of it. He’ll let you know when the first meeting will be."

The Elves nodded and then helped put away all the equipment before heading back to the Academy for dinner.

****

The rest of the week passed pretty much like the first as everyone settled into the routine of the classes and visiting the resorts and safaris. There were no major upsets until Friday morning. Deirdre came bouncing into the classroom along with Marian, both of them carrying several large bags.

"We finally got the outfits you’ll all be wearing as elves," Marian announced with a smile. "We’ve brought samples for you to try on. There are several different sizes. Deirdre has the ones for the men and I have the women’s. We’ve also brought order forms for you to fill out. Part of your tuition goes towards the cost of the outfit, so you needn’t worry about paying anything. However, if you desire to have more than one set, you’ll need to pay for the second outfit. I believe the cost will be around fifty dollars. We actually recommend that you do order a second set so you can clean one set and wear the other. I’m afraid that none of the fabric is washable. You’ll have to have them dry-cleaned."

"Why don’t we have you men step over to this side of the room?" Deirdre said as she moved to the back with her bags.

Marian set her bags near the desk. "Ladies," she said with a nod to the female students and everyone began to move to their respective sides of the room. There were four bags for the men, labeled S, M, L/XL, and XXL. Evan began pulling out the clothes from the Medium bag, not being more than five-six, and stared at them, first in disbelief and then in mounting horror, as he pulled out one item after another. Zach took one look and uttered a swear word. The Twins looked at what Evan was holding up, looked at each other, then looked at Glorfindel.

"Awartham hâd hen," Elladan said tightly and he and Elrohir started for the door.

"Daro!" Glorfindel shouted, not even bothering to look at them, his gaze fixed on what Evan was still holding up, the poor Mortal definitely still in shock, for his look of horror had not changed. It was as if he’d been frozen on the spot. "Dartho hí!" Such was the force of his command that the Twins stopped as one and everyone else looked at him with various expressions of amazement.

Glorfindel tore his eyes away to gauge the reactions of the other Elves. Nimrodel and Mithrellas were staring in shock at what Evan was holding up, while many of the Mortal women had suggestive leers on their faces. He glanced over at Daeron who was just shaking his head and muttering over and over again, "Red is so not my color."

Nor mine,

Glorfindel thought to himself. He stepped forward and gently took the clothes out of Evan’s hands. The Mortal came out of his shock at his touch and stared helplessly at Glorfindel. "I... I... can’t wear this!" he whispered, sounding on the edge of panic. "I’ll die of embarrassment. My mom..." he swallowed nervously, "my mom will think I’m... I’m gay or something."

"Hell! I am gay," one of the young men exclaimed, "and I wouldn’t be caught dead in that, not even as a joke."

Glorfindel gave Evan a sympathetic smile. "It’s all right," he said soothingly. "We’ll fix it. Trust me."

Surprisingly, Evan seemed to do just that, for he smiled. "Thank you," he said fervently, the relief in his eyes apparent to all. "Thank you." He took a couple of steps back as if to avoid further contamination from what Glorfindel was now holding.

The Elf-lord looked at Deirdre and Marian. "Do you honestly expect any of us to wear this obscenity?" he asked coldly, his eyes flashing.

Deirdre, unaware of the danger she was in, nodded enthusiastically. "Oh yes. I know it’s not what you expected...."

"Not what I expected?" Glorfindel demanded, his voice going velvety soft.

Elladan and Elrohir recognized the tone and sought vainly for a place to hide, ending up moving behind Deirdre’s desk, their backs against the whiteboard, looking for all the world like twin deer caught in the headlights. Daeron raised an eyebrow and gave Glorfindel a disapproving look. The two ellith quietly began gathering the other young women and moved them into a corner away from the confrontation. By some instinct of self-preservation, the male students all stepped away from the ellon into another corner. Deirdre’s smile melted away and Marian gave a gasp of dismay.

"We...we modeled it on... on some nineteenth century lithographs of Santa and his... his..." Deirdre’s attempt at explaining petered away as Glorfindel continued to stare at her, the very image of an enraged Elf-lord and former Balrog-slayer, though she was unaware of this.

Glorfindel took another look at the outfit he was holding. Its overriding color was red, what Shane would later refer to as screaming red, and screamed it did. It was a two-piece outfit consisting of felt leggings that came only to the knees from what Glorfindel could tell. There was a white shirt with full sleeves and a high collar over which was a felt waist coat with huge gold frogs to close the front. There was also a large red bow tie. A pointy red felt hat with a jingle bell on the end of it completed the picture. Except for the hat, the entire outfit reminded Glorfindel of Little Lord Fauntleroy. He had seen the original black-and-white movie once and thought the whole story ridiculous from beginning to end. The child’s clothes were the worst. No self-respecting male child would have been caught dead in such an outfit, and Deirdre and Marian expected grown Men and Elves to wear it?

He glanced again to see what the female students were expected to wear. Lily happened to be holding the outfit and it proved to be similar to the men’s except it was a green... very, very green. He shook his head in disgust, shoving the offending clothes back into the bag. Then he gave Deirdre and Marian a scathing look.

"We’ll design our own outfits," he said, still speaking coldly. "Class over."

"Thank God!" one of the other students exclaimed in obvious relief.

Glorfindel stalked out of the room, his expression one of tightly controlled fury. "Elladan, Elrohir, godolo nin!" he called, not even bothering to look at the Twins, both of whom scrambled to follow their captain with the other three Elves right behind. Then, there was a sudden exodus as the other students swiftly left, leaving the two teachers standing there stunned, not sure what had happened.

****

Glorfindel made it as far as the lounge where snacks could be had between classes before he stopped dead in his tracks. The Twins, long used to his ways, neatly avoided him, flanking him and moving to face him. The other three Elves slowed so that now Glorfindel was more or less within a circle. On the perimeter were the Mortal students, silent and wondering. Some instinct told them that the golden-haired Adonis standing there in the center was their leader and he would make things all right.

"Wings would have been an improvement," Elladan ventured, trying to gauge his captain’s state of mind. There were a couple of nervous titters from the Mortals as certain images came to mind and the tension among them began to ease.

It must have been the right thing to say for Glorfindel relaxed his stance and gave Elladan a sardonic smile. "That outfit gives the word ‘fairy’ a whole new level of meaning, doesn’t it?"

Now there was actual laughter and knowing grins.

"What were they thinking?" Evan asked. "I mean, I suppose girls could get away with wearing something like that, but...."

"Not all of us," Lily chimed in. "I would’ve looked like an escapee from a nuthouse in that." There were nods of agreement from some of the other female students.

"They’re rather impractical, too," Jen said with a sneer. "I mean, c’mon! How do they expect us to wear those things and not freeze to death?"

"From the cut of the clothes, I think we’re expected to wear thermals underneath," Nimrodel said, "but even so, they would never be warm enough."

"So what are we going to do?" Mithrellas asked. "You told Deirdre we would design our own clothes and that can work for us, but what about the rest of the class?"

"And where would we find the material?" someone else asked.

"Or people to make them?" another chimed in. "I have no clue about sewing."

"We will have to convince Marian to have whoever made those outfits make the ones we design," Glorfindel stated.

"They’ll never go for it," Daeron said. "For one thing, I suspect that there are already more of these outfits made than what was brought here today. The college is footing the bill and already they are paying out. It would cost too much for them to make the switch now."

"Why do we even need such outfits, anyway?" one of the students groused. "Most of the time we’re going to be outdoors. Shouldn’t we just plan on wearing what we normally wear in the winter? It’ll be a lot cheaper."

"But we need to wear something that allows us to stand out," Nimrodel said, "so that our clients know who we are."

"We’ll think of something," Glorfindel stated confidently. "First, though, we need to convince the rest of the students that we should not be forced to wear anything so ridiculous."

"No fear of that from the guys," Jud said. "Only someone truly depraved would go for it." There were nods and murmurs of assent from the young men.

"If the guys are not going to wear them, then I don’t see why we girls have to," Lily said. "I know I won’t, even if it means leaving the college."

Glorfindel thought for a moment. "We need a couple of those outfits to display," he said.

"It’s done," Elrohir said and gave his twin a nod. They melted away from the group back towards the classroom.

"How are they going to get a hold of the outfits without being caught?" Shane asked.

Glorfindel smiled. "Wait and see. In the meantime, since the rest of the morning is ours to do with as we please, I suggest you all go do whatever you’d planned on doing after this class." He glanced at the clock. "It’s almost nine, so you have a whole lot of time before the afternoon nature walk."

A few students did leave, but the rest stayed behind, grabbing drinks and snacks, congregating in small groups to discuss the outfits. Within a few minutes, Elladan and Elrohir came sauntering back, each with a bag, huge satisfied smiles on their faces. "The room was empty," Elladan said as he handed his bag to Glorfindel, "though we could hear Marian and Deirdre arguing from down the hall. They must’ve gone to Marian’s office and just left the bags there for the next class."

"Good enough," Glorfindel said, taking a quick look at the bags. "Ah, you got one of each color. Even better."

"Of course," Elrohir replied with a scowl. "Do you think we’re stupid or something?"

"Never," Glorfindel said with a smile. "All right. Listen up, everyone. We need to make a large sign saying something like ‘Would you be caught dead in this?’ and then we need to come up with a statement voicing our refusal to wear these even if it means expulsion from the college and then have people sign their names to it."

"Where should we display it?" Lily asked.

"In the cafeteria," Glorfindel replied. "They already have that bulletin board where we signed up for the phys. ed. classes."

"I’ve got a large drawing pad," someone volunteered. "I can cut out the letters."

"And I can use one of the computers in the internet café to write up the protest statement and make enough copies for signatures," Cassie said.

"Then let’s do it," Glorfindel said. "We need hangers and safety pins so we can put these outfits together and hang them up on the board."

"No problem," another student said. "I’ll donate a couple of my hangers for the cause."

"And I have safety pins galore," another said.

Thus, in a short amount of time, they all congregated in the cafeteria. The clothes were spread out on tables and pinned together before slipping them onto the hangers.

"God! They look even worse when you put the whole thing together," Matt said with a convincing shudder as Glorfindel found a couple of push-pins and hung the hangers on them.

Meanwhile, the student with the drawing pad was quickly drawing out the letters while a couple of others were cutting them out and handing them to still other students to stick on the board. Cassie came in just as the last letter was being tacked up and handed Glorfindel a piece of paper.

"I got twenty-five lines on the page for signatures," she said, "so if I print out a dozen that will be enough for everyone to sign."

Glorfindel nodded and glanced at the page. At the top in bold capitals were the same words as had been tacked on the board. Underneath was a short statement which he read aloud to the rest of the students:

"‘We, the undersigned, would like to express our dismay and disappointment in the Administration of the Northern Lights Community College’s Elf Academy for approving the design of the uniform which we as Elf Guides are expected to wear. We feel that it is insulting and will prove detrimental to our image as responsible tour guides. Therefore, we refuse to wear the uniform as designed. We respectfully ask the Administration to cease the production of further such uniforms. We also ask that a committee of students be formed who will offer designs for the uniform on which the rest of the student body can vote. Respectfully.’"

"Works for me," Evan said and there were murmurs of assent from everyone else.

"Good work, Cassie," Glorfindel said as he handed the piece of paper to Daeron who took a quick glance at it and nodded in approval.

"I’ll go print out the other sheets," Cassie said with a grin and was off at a run.

Daeron went to the bulletin board and placed the piece of paper on a small card table that someone had lifted from the games lounge. He fished out a pen from a pocket and signed his name with a flourish. Then he stepped back, holding out the pen, and smiled. "Who’s next?"

There were shouts of glee and a mad rush, but the Twins got there first. Daeron ordered everyone else to get in line behind them and soon there were twenty signatures on the page just as Cassie returned with additional sheets.

"I w-wonder what the reaction of the n-next class will be to seeing these uniforms?" Zach said as he finished putting his signature on the second page.

"Let’s go find out," Mithrellas suggested with a grin.

Everyone thought it was a great idea and they trooped back over to the classroom wing and tried to walk as quietly as possible, for by this time it was just after ten-thirty and the next class would have started. The Elves were amused at the attempts of the Mortals to tread softly. But when they reached the classroom there was a sign on the door. ‘Class Cancelled’, it read.

Glorfindel stared at it in satisfaction. "Good enough," was all he said and everyone laughed. Glorfindel thanked them for their help and they all dispersed.

****

Everyone who walked into the cafeteria that day for lunch took one look at the display and signed the protest. Even the cafeteria staff signed it.

"You need all the signatures you can get," one of the servers said as she ladled out some chicken noodle soup into a bowl for Glorfindel. "If I were a parent paying the tuition for this place, I would take my kid out of here so fast it wouldn’t even be funny."

Glorfindel simply smirked and a thought came to him. When he joined the rest of the group at their table he outlined his idea. At once there was agreement among the rest.

"Go for it," Daeron said with a malicious grin.

"I’ll get my digital and take a couple of photos," Jud said. When Glorfindel nodded, he got up and left.

Glorfindel then stood up and went to the bulletin board. "May I have your attention please?" he shouted and his voice carried through the cafeteria without need of a microphone. In seconds the place went silent. "Thank you, everyone who signed the protest," he said. "It occurred to me that as some of your parents might be footing the bill for you to be here they might want to know what the Administration is planning to do with regard to uniforms. I thought it might be a good idea to send them a picture of this display. If anyone is interested in having their parents see what you might be forced to wear...."

He got no further because most of the students started yelling and applauding. He held up his hands for silence, which was quick to come. "We need email addresses. Someone has already volunteered to take a picture of the display."

Almost at once several students whipped out their cell phones and began taking their own photos.

Cassie stood up. "I’ll go print out some more sheets and everyone who wants to can just put down an email address." At Glorfindel’s nod, she rushed off.

"If you’re interested, come to my table once Cassie gets back," he said and went back to finish his lunch.

By the time lunch was over with, they had several sheets with email addresses on them. Jud had returned and taken several shots of the display from various angles and they agreed on two that would suit their purposes. One was a close up of the red outfit which they all agreed was the worse looking one. Cassie told them that she would plan to spend the next morning plugging in the email addresses and sending the photos to the parents.

"There are several computers in the café," Shane pointed out. "Let’s each take a page and we can do it more quickly."

Cassie nodded handing each a sheet. "I’ll create an email with the pics and forward it to your accounts and then you can plug in the addys and forward the email to the parents. It shouldn’t take more than half an hour or so."

The others agreed with the idea and then they dispersed to get ready for the nature walk that was scheduled for the afternoon.

****

Words are Sindarin.

Mellon nîn: My friend.

Gen hannon: ‘Thank you’ (familiar form).

Awartham hâd hen: ‘We’re out of here’, literally, ‘we (exclusive) forsake this place’.

Daro!: ‘Stop!"

Dartho hí!: ‘Stay/remain here!’

Godolo nin!: ‘Come (together) with me!’