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Ooh this is a promising start! I haven't read any Feanor/Nerdanel in ages but this has grabbed me in. I like the way its all very subconcious and impulsive on Feanor's part - very fitting in my opinion! I will be following this on ff.net from now on so I'll get the story alerts and won't lose track of this (as I tend to do with fics!)

This was my first multi-chapter romance fic so I was kinda nervous about posting it! Feanor/Nerdanel is one of my favourite pairings. And yes, Feanor is very impulsive and random in this fic. :) New chapters will be posted fairly soon on here, because it's already been published in its entirety on FFN. I was too lazy to post it here as I went along. :P Thank you for taking the time to review. :)

Beautiful. Sweet and light, indeed, but beautifully written. You had Fëanáro's characterisation there very well. And I wouldn't imagine Nerdanel as that bubbly, but she was also portrayed quite nicely. :) This was quite an enjoyable read so far, and promising...

 

Your description of Mahtan's eyes made me giggle too, you know. *grin* Wherever did you get the image?

 

And how Fëanáro was gradually smitten by Nerdanel was... just wow. LOL I'll never 'look at' her the same again! You didn't talk about any physical unloveliness directly, like other authors usually do, but you highlighted her features, and only in the last moment did you say that Fëanáro hadn't considered her beautiful before. So sweet! I love this approach on the beginning of the love between the two. - How old were they, though, by the way?

And now on to the next chapter! *grin*

- Rey

Thank you! :) I decided to make my characters in this story a little different to the usual portrayals so I'm glad that came across!

I have no idea where my mind pulls those images from. I think my brain works very strangely.

I didn't have any specific age in mind, but I do know that Elves come of age at around fifty. Feanor and Nerdanel are young here, so I'd say they are either a little younger or a littler older than fifty. :)

Thanks for reviewing!

Haha. Fitting name. But wouldn't it be more fitting given to a dragon, though? It's too obvious, when put on a person's. Here in Indonesia, we do have names which mean "wealthy" or "wealth," but not "lover of wealth"... :-

 

But aside from that, it was a very good chapter. I got a little confused (and surprised) when you suddenly slipped in Nerdanel's point of view there, but otherwise it was good. (Could you please warn when you're adding a new point of view or more, though? And some separator... Just so that there's no reading hiccups. And sorry for criticising. I do love this story. It's not that far from canon, but it depicts canon well. (And I can imagine that Indis is actually doing her best to please him; only that what she deems best and what he does is... different. (To say the least! LOL) His one-sided enmity with her works quite well with canon, so I can't think why you label it as "slightly AU." *grin* And Indis' perceived annoying tones and behaviour just solidify the 'roundness' of his point of view...)

 

And you presented a case which might be true in that timeframe here very well. The execusion of the problem Nerdanel and Fëanáro were landing themselves into was flawless and quite enjoyable. :) And now I hunger for more! *grin*

 

- Rey

 

PS: Strange metal thing? I wonder what that is... It reminded me of Da Vinci's paintings. :) And by the way, you can't really shape a hot metal with your hands, you know... :-

Ah...now, I wasn't aiming for 'realistic' when I wrote this! Autendil is meant to be exaggerated. I did that on purpose. :)

I do believe I had a separator in there but I copied it over from FFN and they deleted my asterisks, darnit. I labelled this as slightly AU because I think Nerdanel and Feanor were originally meant to meet when they were travelling but I decided to do it differently. So technically it's not quite canon, is it? :P

I didn't say that hot metal could be shaped with your hands - I said that it was taking a strange form underneath so-and-so's hands. I meant figuratively. :) Perhaps I could've made that clearer!

Poor Nerdanel! The chapter was told so poiniently that it carried me in its currents... Quite a well-done job you have here! (Did you enter it to this year's MEFA's, by the way? I'd really love to review you there!)

 

I wonder what's young Fingolfin doing in his father's study... And where're the daughters? You only spoke about the sons here. Many other authors also only spoke about the sons... Why? I'd really love to see Findis and Lalwen here, somewhere... And it gets me wondering where Finarfin was now. LOL

 

It was so real, all throughout the chapter, and these first times were vividly told. (*cough* Perhaps a token award for you? *grin* If I'm not too late submitting one, anyway...) Was Fëanáro trying to tell Nerdanel that he loved her, by the way? Hee. And perhaps stole a kiss or two... :D

 

I'm definitely reading more! So sad that it's only a short story... Would you please write more about this? Perhaps when they were courting, and the early days/decades of their marriage? Please please please? :puppy-dog eyes: I'd really love to see it, to read it, to drown myself in it...

 

Need more coaxing? *grin*

 

- Rey

I feel a little bad for torturing Nerdanel myself. :P This story wasn't nominated for the MEFAs because I think I started posting it just after nomination season was over or something, so people wouldn't have had a chance to see it. By the way, I'm flattered that you think this is good enough for the MEFAs! Thank you!

I wrote most of this story when I was still in my last year of high school and didn't know about Findis and Lalwen. When I was adding and changing things, I didn't put them in simply because they just didn't really...fit, I guess. :S

Writing romance is really difficult for me, so I'm not sure if I could actually continue this without killing it! =D The coaxing won't work this time, mellon nin. ;)

Haha. Yes! Truly Fëanáro, proposing in such a forceful yet casual way... A beautiful ending! I was surprised, though, that he kept such geniality with the servants. Haha. I'd say he's rather crass in this... but the passion of young love indeed!

 

You brought subtle pointers to Fëanáro's characterisation, and little facts about him from the canon as well... It really made the plot and the scenes look real, and enlivened the characters in them. Now I am truly wondering why you label this story as "slightly AU." I'd say it's just an interpretation of canon.

Glad to see Finarfin here... but why weren't the children there, again? As far as I know, Findis was the first child of that second marriage too.

By the way, Fëanáro's outburst about Indis trying to take the place of his mother was quite spot-on and rather... impressive. It's one of my most favourite parts of this story. :)

Thank you for writing and posting this story, Ara. And I do hope (very, very, very much) that you would continue this... :(

- Rey

PS: There's an awkward sentence... I think it's in this chapter. It's about Fëanáro's getting bizzare ideas when he's irritated or something like that. It seemed a bit off; just that. And speaking of it, why did you use the Sindarin forms of the names? It'd lend more atmosphere of Valinorean society if you used the Quenya names... I think.

Hey, that's Feanor - unpredictable! :)

Check out one of my other review replies, and you'll see the reasons for my labelling it slightly AU and for not adding Finwe's daughters.

That's really good, because I had a slightly tough time trying to write that part. :)

Thank you for your reviews, Rey. Much appreciated!

Ara

PS: Quite possible - I'm certainly not infallible! With most of my stories I usually go back through every now and again to edit things, so that will probably happen with this story too once I can find a few spare moments.

With regards to Elvish language, I used Sindarin in the narrative voice and Quenya in the dialogue for a few reasons. I took into account the fact that some of my readers on FFN may (as I was when I first started out) be confused as to which Quenya name belongs to who, so I used Sindarin outside of dialogue to avoid confusion. But for the sake of 'the atmosphere of Valinorean society' I used Quenya in the dialogue. Does that clear things up a bit? ;)

Oooh this was delightful. I think the idea of Feanor already having a dancing partner chosen by Indis was also used by another author on this site, but your version was different, and fun. The ending was so very Feanor! Trust him to suddenly storm out of a formal gathering to do something dramatic. :P

I'm glad you liked it. =) And if you can find that story, do point me in the right direction - I haven't read fanfiction in a long time but my affinity for Feanor/Nerdanel fics hasn't quite dissipated as yet. =P Also, I did try to keep Feanor in character at least in part, so I'm glad I succeeded there. Thanks for reviewing, and do excuse the pitifully late reply!