To Gaze Upon Stars by Caunedhiel

Chapter 1

To Gaze Upon Stars

Chapter 1

‘...it is told that even as Varda ended her labours, and they were long, when first Menelmacar strode up the sky and the blue fire of Helluin flickered in the mists above the borders of the world, in that hour the Children of the Earth awoke, the Firstborn of Ilúvatar. By the starlit mere of Cuiviénen, Water of Awakening, they rose from the sleep of Ilúvatar; and while they dwelt yet silent by Cuiviénen their eyes beheld first of all things the stars of heaven...’ – The Silmarillion

              It’s quiet in the starlit lands. Ancient forests proudly stand, no wind or gathered storm strong enough to move the deep roots from the earth. Muted starlight penetrates the foliage, creating a dappled underworld where night hunters pad silently across the undergrowth and fauna follow the winding rivers that carry life in thier swirling currents.

A breeze winds its way through the branches and brushes along the leaves. In the clearing the grass blades rustle together and I listen in amazement to the sounds of life all around me. I open my eyes. Everything is blurred at first, the light stings as it hits my pupils but I don’t care. The sight that greets me takes hold of my heart and steals my newly discovered breath. A thousand stars blaze in the stygian darkness, I crane my head back as far as it can go and still I can see no end to the pitch-dark sky. I laugh, a pure ringing sound, this was what joy felt like and I loved it. I drift to sleep unwillingly, carried off by the whispered lullabies of the stars as they wind ribbons of love around my very soul.

How long I lay upon the ground before I became aware once more I do not know. I smiled, comforted by the familiar sight of the star strewn sky. I’m not sure when I became restless. I’m not sure when I realised I wanted to move. To explore. To see things I had not before and wonder at them. I stood for the first time on shaky legs. Clumsy legs, the movement of them felt awkward as I stumbled to the nearest tree, using its great branches for support. Huffing out a breath I sank down against its impenetrable trunk.

This body of mine is an odd one, I thought after a while as I rubbed my aching legs. Running my fingers lightly over the pale skin, I chuckled softly, marvelling at the very fine hair that adorned my body. Jumping up off the ground I started to walk into the shadowy wood, gazing with keen eyes at the abundance of living things all around me.  

I stopped at a stream, the clear water trickled on merrily over the rocks and pebbles. Tiny clumps of green moss lined the water’s edge, dripping with moisture. I dipped my toes in, gasping out loud as the frigid liquid washed over my bare skin. Kneeling at the edge I placed my hand in the water, flicking it up, laughing as I did so. Droplets fell splashing back down to the earth; I let a drop land on my out stretched tongue. It felt good as it ran down my throat. I cupped my hands and drew up as much of it as I could hold, letting it pour off into my mouth. Once I’d drunken my fill I moved on, sometimes running, sometimes dancing along the forest paths.

Time held no meaning for me. Stars would pass slowly across the skies as I wandered about the land.  I was content just to be. 

                ...Until I started to think. Am I alone?

                But I was not alone. I never was, all around me life walked, scurried and burrowed. From the wide-eyed owl and the ever nervous mouse to the sure –footed deer that ran abound through the forest. Still I could not shake this feeling of... discontent. Not even when I took to following the deer herds as they wandered through the woods searching for the tender leaves and mosses on which they fed.

                After a while I could bear it no more and moved on, further east than I’ve ever gone before. Loneliness gnawed at my heels, urging me to search for that which I knew not.

I heard it first as a low rumbling, the sound built up so slowly that I did not notice it until the rumbling became a great roar; the sound of water plunging at great speed over the rocks. Once before I’d heard a sound like it; when the forest river had burst its banks, picking up the carcasses of ancient trees and tossing them like feathers in the wind. I remember with a shudder the bodies of those creatures unlucky enough to be in the rivers path. I proceeded cautiously, twisting through the thinning tree line until I came to a stop at the forest edge. The stars reflected off the calm blue waters of the great inland sea and I saw on the far side the spray of the waterfall.

Wide-eyed I gazed intently at the scene spread out before me. A slow smile spread across my lips that I was unable to contain. This was what I’d been searching for all this time...