Hearts
“Next to my own skin, her pearls.” — Carol Ann Duffy "Warming Her Pearls"
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"Come riding with me," Ianneth said, taking my hand in hers. She and her family had only arrived at Barad Eithel two days before, but despite the fact that the wedding was still a week away, her mother and my aunt Lalwen had combined forces to form a veritable whirlwind of preparations.
"Did you not spend enough time riding on your journey here?" I teased.
"What I've spent enough time doing is having my dress tailored," Ianneth said. "If my mother and your aunt insist on fussing with the hem one more time I may go mad."
I let out a laugh. Placing my hands about her waist, I lifted her briefly into the air and spun around before setting her down. "Then let me rescue you, my soon-to-be-bride," I said with a grin. "A-riding we shall go!"
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We didn't go terribly far -- only a mile or so, to a small pond that lay nestled in the foothills. Once we'd set Cordof and Pilin loose to drink, Ianneth dropped to the ground, lying in the grass with her arms spread wide and her face turned towards the sun. "I love this land," she announced. "I love all of Hithlum. The mountains, the lakes and rivers, the sun and the breeze, even the mist. I would rather live and die here than cower away behind Melian's magic for eternity."
"Where on earth is this coming from?" I asked, sinking down beside her and searching her face. I'd never heard her mention either death or the hidden kingdom of Doriath before.
She waved one graceful hand in a dismissive gesture and said, "Thingol. He's made his displeasure about our marriage known to my father. Thralls, he calls my people, because we dare to live out in the open, and yet he still acts as though we're his subjects. And to think he says the Golodhrim are arrogant! At least you respect our ways and fight beside us."
"My father and I have not heard this," I said, troubled by her words. "Annael said nothing of it."
"Oh, Ada is ignoring him," Ianneth said, tugging me down to lie beside her. "We owe Thingol nothing. You and I will wed, and that will be that."
She rose up on one elbow and pressed her lips against mine in a slow, sweet kiss, one that I returned as I pulled her into my arms. Lying in the cool grass with my face buried in her sun-warmed hair, I was forced to admit something that I had been trying to ignore.
My feelings for Maedhros had not lessened, but I was quickly falling in love with Ianneth, too.
The Eldar were never meant to split their hearts between two people, but I had know since my youth that my own heart was a strange and unruly thing. Did I not love another man, and one who was my own kin? That was not meant to be so, either. I could only conclude that this was yet more evidence of what I had long suspected. Something had gone awry when I was made.
What a marred world we lived in, that loving the woman who would soon be my wife should cause me such distress.
"Fingon?"
I was brought back to myself by Ianneth's voice and the gentle touch of her hand on my arm.
"That's my name," I said. I took care to keep my voice light, but Ianneth wasn't fooled.
"Are you all right?" she asked. "You seem upset. I swear, my father isn't trying to deceive you."
"I know. I'm just a little sad," I said after a moment. "I've missed my mother and my siblings more than usual, these past few days. I always thought that if I married, it would be with them at my side."
The half-lie made me teeth ache, and I ran my fingers over the strand of grey pearls around Ianneth's wrist, not meeting her eyes.
"They're with you in your heart," she said gently, tapping my chest.
I took her fingers in mine and lifted her hand to my mouth, brushing my lips over her smooth skin. "I can always count on you to bring me comfort," I said, feeling my face go soft as I looked into her beautiful green eyes.
"And I can count on you to bring me joy," she said. "I hope it will always be so."
She kissed me again, and I responded eagerly, pushing my worries aside for the time being.
Chapter End Notes
"He [Thingol] had small love for the Northern Sindar who had in regions near to Angband come under the dominion of Morgoth, and were accused of sometimes entering his service and providing him with spies." - J. R. R. Tolkien, "The Problem of Ros", The Peoples of Middle-earth