In the Dark Mansion of the White Lady by just_jenni

Chapter 1

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It wasn't that Aredhel hated being married to Eol - he had given her her beloved son Maeglin after all - and he had been a pleasant enough husband for many years despite his propensity to shun the light and other people in general except the dwarves. But when she had first met him she had been unaware that he was able to control her will and emotions once she had entered his homelands within Nan Elmoth. It was only recently that he had confessed to her what he had done in those early days of their first meeting. This discovery was so painful to her that she was troubled and would lie awake at night when she should be sleeping, or she would dream about things that she would rather forget once she managed to fall asleep.

"Why did he do that to me?" She lamented when she was alone, understanding her husband no longer. "He hates my people so why did he choose me to be his bride, casting a spell over me so that I would consent?" She spoke these ideas over and over to herself while she busied herself with her tasks.

She sighed, finishing some sewing that she had put off for a long time, absent-mindedly biting off the end of her thread after knotting it. Quietly she put away her sewing kit and went to wake Maeglin for he and Eol had plans to visit the dwarves of Belegost to examine some new invention of theirs. She would be glad of having more time to herself to ruminate on the events passed and to make plans for her future.

Aredhel had previously admired Eol's appearanc for his long, dark hair, pale face and eyes that were so piercingly dark that when he stared at her she felt a profound connection to him. In those early days he did remind her of her cousin Curufin, although Eol was Telerin. She had fallen in love with Curufin when they were both still in school and too young to understand that romantic love between cousins was frowned upon if not forbidden. But to this day she still loved him and was also fond of his brother Celegorm who had always been her best friend and confidant when they were growing up together.

Curufin and Celegorm had been inseparable. The only time Aredhel could remember them being apart was when Curufin took a wife after being told that under no circumstances could he and Aredhel marry, and shortly thereafter Curufin's wife bore a son, Celebrimbor. All three crossed the ice with their father and brothers, and Aredhel's family followed. Once they had reached this part of the world and after many battles with their common enemy the different factions of the family had settled in new and separate homelands they built for themselves throughout Beleriand. Aredhel discovered while she was in Gondolin that Curufin's wife had left him sometime after Celebrimbor had grown up and Curufin and he would spend all their spare time in his smithy where he taught his son all he knew about metallurgy and metalworking. Aredhel would visit them when she could during this period in their lives after she moved to her brother Turgon's new kingdom.

'It amuses me that now I have a son also who follows my husband's work as Celebrimbor did Curufin's.' She smiled at the coincidence.

When Eol and Maeglin had left their dark mansion, Aredhel busied herself with tidying the place. She found that housework kept her from thinking too much about her current feelings and becoming too sad at her predicament. Looking up at the high ceiling, its rafters hidden in shadow, full of webs and spiders, she sighed, feeling the familiar sting of dissatisfaction with her husband, her marriage and her life. Eol preferred the house to stay this way - dank, dark, oppressive - but she did not and wondered how she could have put up with it for so long. She felt left out of their life altogether.

'He is so wrapped up with his own desires apart from me that I seem not to be one of them anymore. How did I become so subservient to him and lose myself and my own personality during my years here?'

She busied herself with chores for the rest of the day and retired to bed early. She enjoyed being alone and all her hard work had made her sleepy for once. Soon she was dreaming and her dreams led to further dissatisfaction with her sex life, or more recently, lack of it. Tossing and twisting in her sheets, then throwing them off, she dreamed of Curufin, of the days when they were together all the time, falling in youthful love day by day. Although she lusted after him, with his tall, beautifully formed frame, his raven hair that he would arrogantly toss over his shoulder when instructing her about something that he knew but she didn't, and the ever-naughty glint in his piercing grey eyes, they never actually made love with each other, out of respect for the customs of their people. But they would canoodle and kiss and she would stroke the growing muscle in his arm with a loving hand.

But in her dream she could abandon herself to making love to him. It was exquisite and she moaned and rolled over in her sleep. She was shameless in the acts that she performed on him and demanded that he do the same to her. They lay naked and spent together afterward and she gazed at his body, unashamedly memorizing every part of it to commit to memory for when she was awake.

She woke with a start, the memory of her lust fresh in her mind, felt herself with her hand, and she was wet.

"Oh Curufinwe," she sighed with deep satisfaction, purposely using his Quenyan name which was forbidden in Eol's house.

She lay in bed a long time, deciding on what she planned to do once Eol and Maeglin returned home. The desire to see Curufin and Celegorm again burned hot within her but she would not leave her son. She was in turmoil. But she also desired to see her brother Turgon in Gondolin, even though she had grown tired of it and left the white city years ago.

Eol and Maeglin eventually returned to the dark mansion in the woods. Aredhel waited patiently for something to happen that would enable her to leave with Maeglin, for she felt sure she could convince him to go with her. Maeglin and his father always got into arguments but since their return from Belegost they seemed more at loggerheads than ever before. Their fighting became louder and more serious. Maeglin seemed to have grown and changed since they had been away.

Maeglin boldly began to speak favorably of the Noldor one day, declaring his admiration for their ability to work with metal and their skill at being able to craft things of great beauty. He managed to bring Eol's wrath down on himself so badly that Aredhel feared for him. But she kept silent, biding her time.

"Do not speak to me of them!" Eol screamed. "I - we - are Telerin! They slew our people and burned their ships! This act can never be forgiven!"

"Why then would you marry one of them?" Maeglin shouted back. "That makes me half Noldorin and I am proud to be one of them!"

That was too much for Eol. Swiftly he packed his things together and set out once again for Belegost without saying goodbye.

Aredhel gazed upon her son with love for him glowing from her eyes. Soon after, they set out to fulfill her dreams.