Pride by just_jenni

Chapter 1

Anaire paced back and forth before the window of her front room, stopping every few moments to push the curtains aside so she could peer down the street. Lit only by the stars in the darkened sky, it took her awhile to adjust her vision to see anything at all in the dim light. Nervously she continued pacing, waiting for Nolofinwe to return home.

She had lit some candles and placed them around the room. She gazed around it, admiring the way it looked in the dim light. She had always been proud of her ability to maintain such a beautiful house, collecting many lovely artifacts to place around it for all her visitors to enjoy, for she was known for her sociability and enjoyed entertaining many visitors. She felt restless and sighed, sensing a monumental change about to occur in her life that she did not want.

Tired of pacing, she went to find some more candles to place around the room to give herself something to do.

The Trees of Light had died, hewn by Morgoth, their roots poisoned by Ungoliant. Hearing rumours of the like, Anaire had been terrified. One moment the light was in its mingling phase while she was overlooking her dinner preparations and the next moment everything became suddenly dark. She did not have much information about what had happened that terrible day. Rumours were flying about on the streets and she sent most of her worried servants home so that they could be with their families.

Nerdanel had visited her shortly after the darkening, carrying one of Feanaro's blue lamps to light her way to Nolofinwe's house.

"I must not be away for too long, Anaire," she said worriedly. "There are many who are saying that this was Feanaro's fault. Though I cannot bear that our husbands should fall out with each other yet again, it seems to me that this situation is far more serious than any previous disagreement between them."

She paused to catch her breath.

Anaire could see how white her sister-in-law's face was and felt a deep mixture of emotions for her - love and respect mixed with fear and even guilt for she did not know yet what role her own husband had played in what had occurred this day.

Nerdanel continued. "Unfortunately it seems Feanaro has threatened Nolofinwe in such a way that the Valar are considering banishment."

She said it simply enough, her voice steady and untrembling but Anaire could see the stricken look upon her ashen face. She felt she might faint at those words but Nerdanel's strength had given her strength and she felt she could not let herself falter and must stay strong for her family's sake.

She hugged Nerdanel closely. As shocked and upset as she was, Anaire was trying to hold in her emotions until she could discover what had actually taken place between Feanaro, Nolofinwe and the Valar themselves, and how the Trees had suddenly stopped producing light. Perhaps what was being said was all untrue and in the morning the lights would come back on and it would be discovered that whatever happened to the Trees was not going to be a serious problem.

"It is but rumour yet," she told Nerdanel, patting her hair as Nolofinwe liked to do with hers when she was upset.

Soon Nerdanel took her leave and Anaire, alone again, continued her pacing.

Presently she heard the clap of horse's hooves along the path leading to her house. Peering into the darkness she could barely make out the form of her husband as he dismounted and ran toward the front door while a groom came to lead the horse away.

She raced to the door and flung it open before Nolofinwe could reach it, then flung herself into his arms. Her emotions finally getting the better of her, she burst into tears.

Nolofinwe held her close, patting her hair the way he always did when she was upset, but on normal days it would have been because of something naughty the children had done, or perhaps an accident by one of the servants, breaking one of her collectibles. Never before had she to deal with any devastating event and her sense of foreboding told her that this was like nothing anyone had ever witnessed and it would have far-reaching repercussions that no one had before experienced.

"I don't understand what has happened." She pulled away from Nolofinwe's embrace, shaking her head. When she stared up at him with a questioning look she saw the grim expression on his face and it frightened her. "What has happened to the light?"

Nolofinwe explained that Morgoth and Ungoliant had destroyed it.

Anaire wrung her hands in despair.

"What will we do now? What does this mean for our family?" Her words were desperate, floundering. She gulped and repeated what Nerdanel had told her. "It is being said that Feanaro held a knife to your throat and threatened to kill you. I don't understand why he would do that."

Nolofinwe sighed. "That is stretching the truth, Anaire. It was a sword, not a knife. And it was his ornamental sword, one he had only recently made. He would not hurt me with it. I know my brother. Feanaro did not mean anything by the gesture except to show how serious he was about his intentions to pursue Morgoth."

He shrugged, but his attempt at minimizing what had happened so that Anaire would be less worried, failed.

Anaire searched his face with her gaze, her eyes darting from side to side.

"Are you sure that he would not hurt you if he lost his temper, or was enraged by a fit of jealousy?"

Nolofinwe attempted a laugh which became a brief snort instead.

"First of all, my brother is not jealous of me. He is better than me in every way, so he would be incapable of feeling that emotion toward me. And when he approached me with his sword he was wearing a helm, also newly fashioned and ornate. He did not brandish the sword at me, but I believe he was dressed this way in order to show the Valar that he was not going to shy away from war with Morgoth if necessary. I believe that what Feanaro did was for show. You know how he can sometimes over-enphasize things when he is trying to make a point."

It was Anaire's turn to snort but she stopped short of saying, "I don't believe you." Instead, she asked, "And what of Morgoth? What else has he done and where has he gone? Rumours are flying about but I have not been told anything that makes much sense, except by Nerdanel, but she did not know all. Should the Valar not be taking care of Morgoth themselves?"

Nolofinwe rolled his eyes and sighed. "The less I speak of the Valar at this time the better. But I will try to talk again with Feanaro as soon as possible. Anaire, Morgoth has stolen the Silmarils."

"Oh no!" Her voice turned into a whimper. Nolofinwe - please do not involve yourself in this." Anaire reached out to him and in that moment it felt to her as if she was reaching over a chasm of ice, so futile did her gesture seem. She knew that she could not reach him. "Feanaro's pride will be his downfall one day and I do not want you to be dragged down with him."

"Anaire -" He spoke softly and slowly and she detected a note of sadness deeper than any she had before known in him. "I love my brother very much, as much as I loved our father, yet I know that Feanaro loved him more. Feanaro has always been complicated, and he feels things much stronger and deeper than anyone else. He has been hurt so badly by Morgoth that I do not think he will ever recover. But Morgoth also has told him lies about me, and I feel at least I can put that right and mend the rift between us. I believe that he needs me to look after him and I know that I am the only one who has the remotest chance of reasoning with him when he is in such an angry mood. I may fail but I would never forgive myself if I did not try. Not only that but it is the right thing to do."

"What will you do then?" Anaire twisted her hands together, despairing for her husband and his brother, not believing that healing the rift was possible.

"I intend to meet with Feanaro tomorrow and we will discuss any actions he might be planning. Then I would like to meet with the Valar to try to convince them I know I can keep my brother from taking anymore foolish and revengeful action and not to banish him but to leave him in my care. He is a prideful man, yes, but I do not think that will cause him to do anything unreasonable."

"You look so tired, Nolofinwe," she sighed resignedly and took his hand. "Come, your supper is waiting for you."