The Final Destination by just_jenni

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Fanwork Notes

The title vaguely refers to 'life after Feanor', although this particular story touches on the beginning of the end.  My hope is to continue this and examine both of Nerdanel's most important relationships more deeply

Fanwork Information

Summary:

I've often thought about Nerdanel's life after her husband and sons departed for Arda, leaving her behind in Aman.  This story (written for Slashy Santa's recent Valentine exchange) imagines the beginnings of her separation from Feanor - in her mind at least, after doubts about the marriage being successful were sown - and before her special relationship with Anaire had begun.  I have imagined the relationship to be a romantic one, although in the beginning there was a definite physical bond between the two women.

 

 

Major Characters: Anairë, Nerdanel

Major Relationships:

Genre: Alternate Universe, Erotica, Romance, Slash/Femslash

Challenges:

Rating: Adult

Warnings: Mature Themes

Chapters: 1 Word Count: 3, 142
Posted on 25 March 2018 Updated on 25 March 2018

This fanwork is complete.

Chapter 1

Read Chapter 1

Bathed in bright light as on any late afternoon in Tirion, the market stalls shone whitely against the backdrop of colorful mosaic streets and lawns as green as emeralds. Nerdanel picked her way among the stalls that bustled with shoppers, thankful that no one recognized her. She was not enjoying herself, did not feel like talking to anyone and did not notice any of the pretty things on display. There were works of art created by her friends and acquaintances such as sculptures like those she made herself, paintings, displays of jewelry, articles of clothing designed and sewn by talented seamstresses. She hurried past all of them - decorative items, floral displays, furniture crafted by the best carpenters in Tirion - unnoticed by her.

She didn't feel at all like shopping today, especially for clothes and pretty adornments. She thought she must look as miserable as she felt - she was sure she had put on a few pounds in the most unfortunate places. Why was it that when one gained weight it went exactly where one didn't want it, but the parts that one wanted exacerbated never seemed to receive the extra inches? She realized that she had dashed out of the house without changing the clothes that she usually wore around the house and without doing her hair. Plus, she felt sweaty and was convinced she must be coming down with some sort of illness.

Of course she had recently been arguing with Feanaro - in fact she had dashed out of the house without concluding the argument - feeling frustrated and angry at things being left unresolved between them. But this seemed to be the norm with them the past few years. She wished they had never married but didn't want to ruminate on her marital situation at the moment. She wanted to get the shopping done and get back to her children, to immerse herself in spending time with them, cooking dinner for them and trying to forget her troubles. They always cheered her up when she was feeling down. But they were still young. She dreaded the day when they would all be grown and gone. But she didn't want to think about that now.

'Please do not let me bump into anyone I know.' She mentally pleaded with no one. She wiped the perspiration beading profusely on her brow while she hurried to the food stalls.

She was momentarily forgetting her troubles while perusing the colorful vegetables and fruits on display. She had mad several selections and was making her way to the bakery stalls, trying to shake away her negative feelings. She picked up her pace, tossing her thick, braided hair behind her back and blowing loose strands of hair out of her face where they tickled her skin in the most irritating way. When she had made her selection of bread and rolls she spotted the cheese stall and moved toward it, putting down her basket for a moment to pull up the sleeve of her blouse which had fallen off her shoulder to rest halfway down her arm. She was self-conscious at the realization that several people had been staring at her and felt she must be a mess.

After choosing several cheeses she made her way to her final destination - the meat counter. While she was deciding on a type of sausage she felt a tug at her sleeve and turned around. She started slightly when she saw who it was.

'Oh no, it's Anaire - perfect Anaire with her hair done and looking as cool and lovely as a spring flower. Why did I have to run into her of all people?' She would never say this out loud but the thought ran fleetingly through her mind. She actually liked Anaire - a lot.

"Nerdanel!" Anaire looked happy to see her. Her beautiful face wore a beaming smile, her cheeks were a rosy pink and her eyes sparkled like sapphires. How lovely to see you." She bussed Nerdanel on both of her sweaty cheeks.

Nerdanel in return gave Anaire a swift, embarrassed little smile. "You as well," she murmured. She looked away from her friend after noticing how splendidly she was turned out - her hair was perfectly coiffed in an up-do and she was dressed smartly in the latest fashion, a tightly fitted dress that hugged her slender curves. Self-consciously, Nerdanel adjusted the shoulders of her simple blouse and shifted her now full shopping basket to the opposite arm. She felt nervous and impatient but inwardly chided herself for feeling that way. 'Why am I being so ridiculous? I'm actually very happy to see her.'

"Well," she said in flat tones, "I suppose I'd better go..."

She had mixed feelings at this moment, which confused her. Gone was the anger she had felt when she left her house, but she felt increasingly uncomfortable at bumping into the woman who was married to her husband's brother.

Anaire appeared not to hear her. "Are you almost finished shopping?" she asked, glancing down at Nerdanel's basket. Without giving her a chance to reply, Anaire continued. "You must come to mine for dinner. Nolofinwe and the children are away visiting Arafinwe and Earwen and their brood. They'll be gone for a few days and I am alone in an empty house! Please come. Once we are there I can send word to Feanaro that you will be dining with me."

"But," Nerdanel tried to explain, "all this food I have bought..."

"Don't worry about the food. None of it looks perishable. Is it your family's dinner?"

Nerdanel nodded.

"Well then, we can send it to your place with the message that you picked up their dinner but are too busy to make it, and they can enjoy it on their own. Does that sound like a good idea?"

Nerdanel nodded again. "I suppose so..."

Anaire looked at her sharply, her brows knitting together. "What is it, my dear?"

Nerdanel snorted and immediately regretted it. "It's nothing." She tried to sound nonchalant but the indignation she had felt earlier when Feanaro was rude to her boiled to the surface. She felt uncomfortably hot again, was aware that her face had reddened and that fresh sweat had broken out all over her body. She felt faint, staggered a little and dropped her basket to the ground. She quickly wiped her brow with the back of her hand. "I'm s-sorry," she stammered.

Anaire grabbed her around the waist to steady her. "Nerdanel!" Her face bore a look of concern, paling at the sight of her friend's obvious discomfort.

She stooped to pick up the fallen basket of food, and with her arm still around Nerdanel's waist, steered her toward some waiting carriages along the roadside. She whistled and the driver of one of them jumped down from his seat and came toward them. "Madame?" He doffed his hat.

She gave him her address and the two women boarded the carriage.

~~~~~

"Drink some tea. It will make you feel better." Anaire indicated the elegant gold and white tea set that a maid had carried into the parlour and placed on the table in front of the two women. She leaned over and poured two cups of the fragrant beverage.

Nerdanel reclined on a sofa, her back against the copious cushions. Anaire had removed her sister-in-law's shoes and lifted her bare feet and legs onto the couch. She sat down opposite Nerdanel on a straight-backed chair, regarding her calmly while sipping from the tea cup she held between two hands.

Nerdanel glanced down at herself - her blouse, a bit too large, had fallen off of her shoulder again, and was pulled askew. She noticed Anaire staring at her decollete. The skin on her chest was flushed red as if she was either blushing or sunburnt. She felt it must be the latter. Her voluminous skirt had fallen away from her legs, exposing them from knee to toe. There were smudges of dirt and stains all over her clothing.

"Anaire, I am sorry," she said. "I cannot remember what happened after we met at the market. I seem to be covered in dirt, which is probably rubbing off on your lovely furniture. I assure you that I am not usually this way at home."

Anaire laughed. "Please don't worry." She put down her cup of tea. "I thought you looked greatly concerned about something and you actually fainted before we could get into the carriage. Your clothes got a bit dirty, that is all. I am more concerned with whatever is bothering you." She looked keenly at her sister-in-law.

Nerdanel swung her feet to the floor and started to get up. "If you don't mind, I think I'd better go," she said. "Feanaro and the boys will be expecting me. Thank you for the tea."

"No, I've taken care of that," Anaire reassured her. "I sent word along with the basket of food you purchased to your house, explaining that you would be dining with me in Nolofinwe's absence. Please do not get up unless you would feel more comfortable bathing before supper. It's not necessary and I do think you need something to eat and drink soon. You probably fainted because you haven't eaten."

Nerdanel's face brightened at the thought of eating a leisurely supper with Anaire alone, without Feanaro to spoil her mood. She leaned back against the cushions, breathing a relieved sigh. "If you don't mind, I'd love to have a quick wash first," she said with a smile.

~~~~~

Nerdanel sat with the back of her head against the rim of the tub. Anaire's lady's maid had helped her out of her soiled clothing and into the water, placing a small pillow behind her head for comfort.

"Would you please ask Madame Anaire to come in?" She asked the maid before she departed the bathroom.

Presently Anaire entered, her eyes shining brightly and her breath quickened, her breast rising and falling more rapidly than usual. "You asked for me, my dear?" She perched herself on the edge of the tub. "Is the water warm enough?" She dipped her hand into the tub, lightly brushing Nerdanel's shoulder and upper arm as she did so.

Nerdanel smiled at her, nodding. She felt relaxed, the perfumed water enveloping her in its sudsy warmth. There were many candles lining the tub, their golden light bathing everything in a warm glow, giving it a gentle sheen. Nerdanel gazed down at her body stretched out in the water like an open flower and remarked to herself how much more attractive she appeared. She didn't look as overweight as she thought she was. Her breasts, normally heavy-looking, now appeared prettily curved and light, floating in the water. Her rosy nipples rose erect above the surface. She noticed the curve of her legs, thighs and calves, and spread them a bit so she could admire how much longer they looked in the water. She felt a little tingle as the water entered the inner folds between her legs, and sighed happily. It had been ages since she and Feanaro had made love and that feeling was once more coming over her.

Anaire made a slight sound in her throat, like a chirp. "Would you like me to wash the back of your neck?"

Nerdanel turned to smile at her. "If it's not too much would you mind washing my hair? I haven't washed it for a few days and feel quite ashamed to be telling you that."

"I would love to wash your hair," Anaire replied. She began to unwind the loose braid, smoothing out the sections of thick red hair between her nimble fingers. She picked up a small silver basin and dipped it into the water. "Close your eyes and bend your head," she whispered, before letting the water trickle gently over Nerdanel's head and down her back. She put the basin down and picked up a small vial of shampoo. She worked it into Nerdanel's wet hair. Her hands were trembling slightly and when she picked up the basin again to rinse, she spilled water on herself.

"Look what I've done. What a clumsy thing I am," she said with a cluck of her tongue. Quickly, she peeled off her wet things and stood beside the bathtub in her underwear.

"Would you mind if I got in with you? The tub will hold both of us."

Nerdanel blushed and nodded. "Of course, please do," she murmured.

Anaire took off the rest of her clothing and stood naked at the side of the tub, looking down at Nerdanel for a moment before she stepped in.

Nerdanel's breath caught in her throat. She gazed up at her sister-in-law and remarked how truly beautiful she was. Her hair appeared to be of spun gold, and when Anaire loosed it, it fell down her back in golden waves. Her skin was alabaster pale, and smooth as silk. She was quite slender, with perfectly-shaped breasts, small but lovely. Her waist was naturally narrow and sloped beautifully to her hips, which were slim. Her thighs were slim also, and rounded, her kneecaps not as prominent as Nerdanel's and her calves less muscled. Her tiny toes were painted with a golden-colored polish, making them look like little jewels.

Nerdanel couldn't help herself. "You are stunning," she gasped. "Everything I've wanted to be but am not."

Anaire let herself down gracefully into the water, sitting facing Nerdanel. She reached out and cupped her face under the chin. "You must not say anything negative about yourself," she whispered. "You are beautiful, you know. Perhaps in a very different way from me, but you are of the earth, all flame and ore. Your body is more substantial, more rooted in the land. Your curves are generous..." Her voice trailed off and she let her hand slip to Nerdanel's chest, where she illustrated her words by cupping one of her large, firm breasts. "Do you mind if I do this?" She asked, her fine lips parted, the pink tip of her tongue protruding just a little.

Nerdanel gasped at the touch and realized how much she was drawn to it. She placed a hand between her legs and cupped her private parts. A throbbing had started inside which shook her senses. She thought she might orgasm right there in the bathtub.

"Anaire leaned forward, wrapping an arm around Nerdanel's shoulders. "Would you like me to kiss you?" She was so close that Nerdanel felt heat emanating from her body and smelled her light, pleasing fragrance.

Nerdanel gasped. "Yes, please," she panted, and felt Anaire's soft lips upon her own. Slowly, sweetly, Anaire kissed her, and moved her body closer. Nerdanel could feel the soft touch of her breasts and one silky thigh. Anaire soon broke the kiss by first tracing Nerdanel's lips with her tongue before parting them. Then she broke away quickly.

"Let's move to the bed." Anaire held her hand while they both climbed out of the bathtub, dripping water all over the floor. They did not stop to pick up towels, but headed into the bedroom next door where Nerdanel spotted a huge bed adorned with a beautiful white quilt and many scattered pillows. First, Anaire indicated to sit on the bed's edge and Nerdanel did so.

"You don't mind this, do you?" Anaire asked her. "I know it's rather sudden, but something in your demeanor today told me that you might be in need of some comforting and that perhaps this was the sort of thing you needed."

"I admit I am surprised," Nerdanel replied, "but I am also glad of your attention. I did not object because it feels like the right thing to do somehow."

Anaire smiled and stroked Anaire's cheek. "You will find it much gentler than what you are perhaps accustomed to. And pleasanter, I hope."

The two women lay down side by side. Anaire cupped Nerdanel's face and kissed her again, deeper this time, her small tongue exploring Nerdanel's mouth in a way that made her moan. After a few moments Anaire broke the kiss and moved down Nerdanel's body, nuzzling her neck and simultaneously caressing her full breasts, sucking the nipples until they turned red and made her want to scream. She left little kisses all the way down Nerdanel's body until she reached the area between her legs and began to flick her tongue in such a way that Nerdanel squirmed and almost shrieked with delight. She had never experienced anything quite like it before. Anaire was so talented with her mouth that it did not take long for Nerdanel to climax.

When she had calmed down a bit and realized that Anaire was lying beside her, finishing herself with her own hand, Nerdanel propped herself on one elbow. "I'm so sorry I don't know exactly what I should be doing to you," she offered.

Anaire laughed, the sound tinkling like a splash of fresh water. "Oh, don't worry. I assure you, I can teach you everything I know."

She propped herself up as well, turning to gaze into Nerdanel's eyes. "Tell me," she said. "When you are with your husband do you feel pleasure?"

"W-well yes, I do," Nerdanel stammered.

"Of course you do," Anaire interjected. "It's the same area of your body that is being stimulated, no matter who does it to you. But nothing, I think, can give you greater pleasure than the attentions of another woman, as long as she is doing things properly. There should be no pain, only lovely, wonderful gentle ecstasy, such as what you have experienced just now. At least it did sound as if you enjoyed it."

Nerdanel laughed. "I really did enjoy that," she sighed. "I feel so relaxed now. Thank you." She suddenly felt a bit self-conscious and smiled sweetly at Anaire.

"I'll leave you alone to get dressed," Anaire said, rising from the bed. "You can find some suitable clothes in the cupboard, here." She indicated a large armoire off to the side. "I will go to my room to change. Please come downstairs as soon as you are ready and we shall have a lovely dinner together. You can tell me all about Feanaro and the children and I shall bore you with tales of my own family."

~~~~~

Many years later, after their husbands had gone on their long, unfortunate journeys, Nerdanel and Anaire moved in together. They had maintained their close relationship through the years, with Finarfin's wife Earwen as well, and found that gave them the strength to deal with all of the pain that would come their way a long time from now. Now, however, was the time for the women to discover each other and form forever afterward a lasting relationship.

 

 


Chapter End Notes

I hope to continue this story to reflect Nerdanel's feelings regarding her separation from Feanor as well as her burgeoning relationship with Anaire.


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