Doriath by hennethgalad

Chapter m

Doriath.-

  Melian climbed the last stairs and emeged onto the high balcony, Finrod was there, still as a tree, gazing out across the forest. She pursed her lips, then stood beside him. He turned and gave her a weak smile, but did not speak. They stood in silence for a while, then Melian said softly 'Perhaps music would help ?'

   Finrod flinched 'Please, there is nothing that would help. Please do not trouble yourself with me. '

  Melian sighed 'You will not always feel this much pain, gradually the grief will fade, and you will return to your former pastimes, and your friendships, and always have the memory of your happiness.' 

  Finrod shook his head 'No, the grief will not fade, how could it ? The love will not fade, the grief will be with me until he is. Please do not concern yourself. I am sorry if I am upsetting people.'

   'Oh Finrod, we cannot endure to see you suffer so, we are your family, we care very much for you, we want you to be happy. '

   He turned to her with eyes feverish with rage 'We were happy.' he said coldly.

  She sighed again 'But Finrod, you were starving, he was starving, you were destroying each other. We had to separate you, for your own good. You know this.'

   'My own good... I had everything I ever wanted, we were blissfully happy, why did you have to...' his voice choked off. He seemed to crumble, he turned and sat heavily, leaning against the balcony, weeping silently.

   Melian sat down beside him 'I am truly sorry for your pain. I wish I could help you somehow.'

  
   Finrod looked at her 'Tell me where he is.'

   Melian frowned 'I cannot, even if I knew, Fingolfin has forbidden it. Thingol agrees with him. I am sorry Finrod, but you must learn to live without him.'

   'Why ?' said Finrod, 'He means more to me than all the rest of the world put together. He means more to me than those silmarils mean to my cousins. He is the only thing I want. I will search for him until I find him, or perish in the attempt.'

  Melian shook her head 'You will never find him. Turgon will take him to the hidden city, guarded by eagles, you will never discover its location.'

  Finrod laughed shortly 'Nevertheless, the search is the only thing that could ease my pain. In any case, if Turgon found this place, I do not doubt that I too will discover it in time.'

   'You will be prevented. It is forbidden that you meet. I am sorry.' 

   Finrod wiped the tears from his face and stood up 'I am going to find him. That is all.'

   Melian stood and looked intently at Finrod's pale thin face. His eyes seemed huge, surrounded by shadow, his cheekbones sharp against the hollows below. His jaw was clenched painfully tightly, his anguish wrung her heart. She gathered her strength then took his hand in hers and poured as much of her healing power into him as she could muster. He gave a slight sigh, his body unclenched a little, and the tears flowed again.

   She took him in her arms and held him while he sobbed, but soon he shook himself, and held her at arms length

  'I feel different, have you done something to me ?' he asked.

  She smiled 'Just a little healing. But come down, dine with us, and share the wine and good cheer. Your sister will be pleased to see you smile again.'

  Finrod nodded 'I am sorry, I have been selfish. Yes, I will come.'

 
  The next morning he had gone. The guards said he had ridden north before dawn, taking only a pack of supplies. Thingol had him followed but he easily eluded the pursuit, and crossed the Girdle into Beleriand. They never saw him again.

Chapter End Notes

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