Very telling,

Yes, that feeling that all bets are off, now what has happened has happened--even though it was unbelievable before.

This is an interesting version of the story. I like the sese of intensity and action and the passion that is just jumping off the page. I love the way the family issues are woven into the plot and the personal interactions. The family ties cannot be separated without causing endless pain to all involved. To pull a family apart like this seems a bit like carve tendrils of a growing tumor out of living flesh.

This next part appeals to me emotionally and is very intense:

She had done the only thing she saw to be right – she had defended her mother’s people. She hadn’t realized when she began that it would be a fight in which no holds were barred and no surrender save death accepted.

Yes, she had killed today. But not first, nor even with first intent. That honor belonged to her uncle’s followers. To her cousins.

She’s defended Tyelko before – shielded him from discovery, shielded him from consequences, kept her silence, kept his secrets. He tried to kill her today.

Today changed everything, and she couldn’t begin to say what the consequences would be, but one thing she knew: she was done protecting Tyelko, done carving out space for him and Irissë. Her loyalty is not like his – hers is unshakeable, and it is to her heart-sister, not to her murderous half-kin.

I find the drama more interesting and more intense when the closeness of family is touched upon instead of weaving a story line which amounts to--"never really did care for those Feanorian cousins anyway." Your story gives the heart-wrenching drama here of a family divided.

But I would be one of those who would say that nobody's got clean hands. But, hey, this one of those Tolkien parts that reminds me of the intensity of Northern sagas--family members attacking others, stubborn honor, and an inability to forestall a mad rushing to meet one's fate/doom.