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This was heartbreaking - and yet, with so much love, there will be healing (we know, though Vorindo isn't yet certain ;))! I really liked the astute healer, both in his awareness of the bond and in his realisation that it might help to keep Maedhros alive. A very intense and satisfying story (which also nails this month's "Strength and Beauty" challenge, although I realise it wasn't written for it!).

Thank you so much!

I'm glad you liked the healer. This was such a difficult time for them both. I get so caught up in thoughts of Maedhros at this time that it's easy to for me to forget that Fingon was likely having a very hard time with all of this himself. But they have each other again, which makes all the difference.

I actually intended to cross post it for Strength and Beauty--the instructions had encouraged doing so but I hadn't realized that I had forgotten to do it until you mentioned it. I forgot to list the characters and rating as well so thank you for pointing it out--all fixed now!

I know we had a somewhat lenghty exchange on this on AO3, but wanted to comment here are well. First, I am very happy to see that you are posting most stories here as well.

As I said in my previous comment, I found your version very moving--when I first came around the Silm fandom over a decade ago, we used to joke at that anyone serious about writing Maedhros and Fingon had to find their way to write this story and the one of Fingon's death. I haven't found the courage yet to write Fingon's death (except as a non-fiction essay) but I hope t find the courage to get there someday.

It is heart breaking and sad how wounded and diminished Maedhros is, but the implication at the end is filled with hope, which, in fact, is canon: "Maedhros in time was healed; for the fire of life was hot within him. . . ." Great job, Fingon (sorry, I am tired and a little giddy!)!

Congrats on a milestone.

Thank ziggy! So glad you liked this--this moment has been rattling around in my head for weeks (months, years). I'm gratified this worked for you, knowing how you love these two also--I strive to do justice to them but always worry about it! Your words about this fic  are very reassuring! 

 

Hi Nelya! I jumped at the chance to read this. 

I would imagine Findekano feeling so much guilt after rescuing Maitimo.

Guilt over even feeling rage and hatred for his beloved and the betrayal, especially once he realizes that Maitimo had no part in the burning at Losgar and now seeing how he has suffered greatly at the hands of Morgoth and his minions. That in itself cancelling out any of the black thoughts he had entertained while crossing the Helcaraxe. Thoughts he probably now regrets and feels a great deal of shame for.

And yet he also suffered, but does not seem to see that as being anywhere near what Maitimo has endured. He has been scarred as well. Although he does not have the marks to showfor it. This is so complex, Nelya, that I can't really say who's suffered more. Maybe its equal, I don't know.  What do you think?

Even guilt over the decision to hack Maitimo's hand off, Findekano winces at. It saved his life! Oh! dear Findekano. He loves Maitimo so much that he would sacrifice everything in a heartbeat for his beloved. Would we expect him to do any less? No! Such is the bond they have, even if it is not what it once was.

Oh my gosh! I hope I have made sense. It would be a bit silly if I have totally gone off the subject.

Very thought provoking my friend.

Thank you for sharing. 

 

 

Oh Gabriel! I'm so glad you found this! I meant to post it there too but time got away from me.

I think once the initial exhilaration at having found Maitimo alive settled Findekano would have found himself very troubled. Yes he had saved Maitimo but at what price, in what condition and for what future? I think he would truly have second guessed himself in the dark stretches of the night. And this is without knowing Maitimo defied Feanor and stood aside--he hasn't been told that yet. He will feel even worse once he hears that.

And yes, Findekano has suffered. Not to the extent perhas of Maitimo but the crossing has left it's scars and he carries them with him. We often seem to overlook what hardships the rest of the Noldor suffered on the crossing. Elenwe was not the only one they lost. These are changed Elves. Nolofinwe is a prime example, as we see later. Turukano for sure, far more visibly, but all of them are changed by it. Deprivation, abandonment, starvation, the ravages of the bitter cold and the sting of being betrayed--so much there that occured.

He has much guilt over the hand. A guilt that will last for awhile, if not forever. It is a complex relationship from the start but Alqualonde, the burning of the ships, the crossing and the rescue make it even more complex and deeper, if you understand what I mean by that. Those events split them apart and changed them both, then brought them together--changed as they were--but somehow still bonded, despite it all.

So glad you liked it!

This is such a heartwarming yet heartwrenching end to Findekano's bedside vigil of Maitimo. But of course its not really the end though is it? In a sense it is only the beginning of a long fight back from the pits of Angband. 

What Findekano did pouring all his love into the bond and sending it forth to Maitimo so he would believe that he was safe in the care and arms of his beloved. quite beautiful Nelya!

Thank you, this was lovely.

 

thank you Gabriel! As you say it is not the end but just a new beginning. He has many more nights of vigils and days of thoughtful conversation ahead of him. It will be challenging for both of them, for similar and differing reasons. I had originally thought the first chapter would be a stand alone but I found myself drawn back to this timeframe and this story and I am not sure I am actually done with it. We'll see.

I'm glad you liked the bond sequence and how Findekano tried to prove it was reality. He knew he couldn't do it with words alone, not when he got that inkling of what Maitimo had gone through at  his words. He knew Maitimo had to feel it in his soul--his fea calling out to him would likely be the only way to prove the reality of it all.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Thank you! Persistence is part of his valor! 

I just can't imagine Maitimo taking it at face value, at least not at first. He, more that any of them, now knows what the enemy is capable of and an act of trickery like this is quite likely just that-an act of falsehood- in his mind.

It's just that he's finally wrong and Findekano not being as beautiful as he remembers him being is the unlikeliest of triggers to make him realize that. The  changed Maitimo in the end of the first chapter only strengthened Findekano's love for him. The changed Findekano clues Maitimo in to the ultimate reality of it all. Along with Finno's determination!!