Eye Deal. by hennethgalad

Chapter 1

  "I am Elrond, Herald of Ereinion Gil-galad. Who are you?"
  "They call me Imzil. I am... I was in the King’s Guard. But the king is dead."
  "What do you mean, the king is dead? Which king?"
  "Ar-Pharazôn. I saw it, with my own eyes."
  "No such tidings have reached us here."
  "I don’t mean cold in his tomb dead, I mean dead... dead on the inside."
  "We have friends yet in the courts of Númenor, and no such tidings have reached us."
  "Well, your friends weren’t standing where I was standing, they didn’t see what I saw. Have you ever killed anyone? Yes, I see that you have. Well, I have not, for none have ever dared to threaten the king, not since the war. But I have seen war, and many deaths, and I tell you, I saw the king die."

  "Perhaps if you tell me what you saw?"
  "Well, it was near my home. I was raised in the valley of the Harnen, far to the south of here. My father makes barrels for the vinyards, but I wanted to travel, and see the world, so when the king’s men came through looking for likely lads... Well, the king likes... liked tall, handsome men around him, and though I'm not handsome like an elf, like you, still, they sent me straight to the Citadel. I have been very happy, I suppose, though I did not know it until I saw the king die...

  You know what happened, it was Sauron, he came to where the army was camped, around that hill, and said that he had come to surrender. Well, Sarmâk and I were ordered to escort Sauron up to the hill, and there at the foot of the hill we searched him. There was a little tent, we took him in there."
   "What is he like?"
   "Ha, you’re not the first to ask me that! Blinding. He is blinding. You can’t see, you can’t think, he’s as tempting as honey, but... But poisonous! As pretty as a flame, and far deadlier. 
   He had on this cloak, all covered in black gems, and on the back, in rubies, an Eye... Well, we took off the cloak to search him, and he was laughing and talking about concealed weapons that we would never find, however long we searched, and Sarmâk, who is a bit tetchy, decided to give him the full search. So we took off everything and bent him over, and Sarmâk greased his hand... 

   Well, Sauron had his hands tied behind his back, like any prisoner, and he starts groaning, I mean, you would if Sarmâk stuck his fist up your... 
   But it wasn’t pain he was groaning with, and I must admit that at that point I was thinking about a bit of a groan myself, if you see what I mean. Well, Sauron says it reminds him of his master, and how would we like to take our pleasure with him, both at once!

  But of course we couldn’t, the king was waiting, ha, the whole army was waiting! Anyway, Sauron leaned back against old Sarmâk and looked up at me with his golden eyes and said would we like to be his guards, to save everyone else from temptation. It was mad, he’s mad, but he really... I mean you have to see him... So we looked at each other, and I could practically see Sarmâk drooling, and we smiled at each other, imagining things... well...

   But apart from the black cloak, the only thing, not even shoes, or, or anything except this really thin robe, like cobwebs, it seemed like it would just fall apart in your hands, but it was tough enough. Anyway we dressed him in this gauzy robe, and the only thing holding it together was one jewelled pin, at the hip, it folded over, and fastened at his side. And we led him out to where the army was, and it was hot, the whole army steaming like fresh bread, and of course there’s everyone in blue and white, it looked like the sea was boiling over onto the land, there were so many of us...

   Well Sauron stood up straight and still, just for a moment, and the whole army stared at him in silence, and it was almost like... Well, really, I thought they would cheer... But he, Sauron, bows his head and walks slowly up the hill, and we followed him, and I know old Sarmâk, he was thinking of where his hand had just been, and of what else he would like to put there. Well, so was I, come to that, and so would you have been! That arse was the most perfect thing you ever saw, and through that ridiculous robe, we could really see it. So we’re marching up the hill, and sweating, for one reason or another, and so is Sauron, and the robe just clings to him like it’s been painted on.
   It was dead quiet, you could hear his bare feet on the carpet, and us two rattling along behind him, and we've been trained to move silently even in mail. Well we get to the top and there’s Ar-Pharazôn, in his gold armour, still as stone, and he looks at Sauron and at first he’s all delighted, but politely not smirking too openly, but just a tiny bit, you know? Anyway, Sauron steps up, in his flimsy robe, with everything, but everything showing.

   We waited while the king looked him up and down, but Sauron keeps his head bowed, his hair... Did I tell you about his hair? Like gold, much more gold than the king’s.... Well, his hair was hanging down, hiding his face, and the king leaned forwards and took the pin out of his robe, out of Sauron's robe, and the robe fell open, and he's there, stark bollock naked, if you'll pardon the expression, in front of the king, and he, Sauron, falls to his knees, and then he lifts his head and looks at Ar-Pharazôn."

   "Go on."
   "Well, that’s when it happened. That was it. The light went out in the king’s eyes. He just stared at Sauron like a cow at fresh grass. Empty. He looked empty. But he stood up, and ignored Sauron, and me and Sarmâk, and walked to the front and raised both arms in the air, and everyone cheered like mad, except me and Sarmâk, and Sauron, who didn’t move a muscle, just knelt there, with that damp robe clinging to his shoulders, with his back to us all. Well, I looked at Sarmâk, to say 'did you see the king die?' but he was still staring at Sauron, and I realised that he was as far gone as the king. 

   Well, anyway, we were appointed as guards for Sauron, but while we were eating, a noble lord, that I'd courted but gotten nowhere with, came smarming around inviting me for supper, and of course I was all excited anyway, so I went along, but after we'd, well, afterwards he said 'tell me everything!' and that’s when I knew how bad it would be, that it wasn’t just the king who was dead, but Númenor itself. What will happen now, I can’t say, but it won’t be good!

  By the void! I was happy! I didn’t even know I was happy until that very minute, oh not the noble lord, but the king, dying before my very eyes... I mean it wasn’t just that Sauron is beautiful, everyone in the Guard is handsome, most are far more handsome than me! It wasn’t that, that makes no sense. But he, Sauron, he casts a spell, I think that’s the thing about the concealed weapons that we couldn’t ever find, his magic, that destroyed the king. That will destroy my country. The concealed weapons of the wizard."