Your Dungeons are Inadequate by Aiwen

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Fanwork Notes

Fanwork Information

Summary:

A letter from Sauron to Finrod Felegund sent shortly after the fall of Minas Tirith. Sauron has some complaints he wishes to make.

Major Characters: Sauron

Major Relationships:

Genre: Humor

Challenges: Differing Perspectives

Rating: General

Warnings:

This fanwork belongs to the series

Torchbearer
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 192
Posted on 15 June 2008 Updated on 15 June 2008

This fanwork is complete.

Chapter 1

Read Chapter 1

To the pretender Finrod Felegund, called King of Nargothrond, greetings.

While I am on the whole most pleased with the acquisition of the tower known as Minas Tirith, I have a few complaints to make. First of all, your dungeon facilities are completely inadequate. I am currently being forced to hold prisoners in pantries and cellars. As for your torture equipment, it is non-existant! Everything I have so far had to be imported specially from Angband.

I do, however, to find your defensive arrangements most fine. Orodreth kindly left everything standing for me, greatly facilitating the transition. Do remember to thank him for me. Unfortunately everything is slightly too tall for my orcs, which has resulted in a great demand for step stools. Still, they are coping.

I look forward to future visits from you, although they will have to be held outside the castle as I very much doubt you will ever be able to reclaim it from me. Lovely carvings by the way: unfortunately the orcs keep breaking them and writing graffiti all over them. How sad. I look forward to meeting you in Nargothrond sometime soon.

Until then,

Have a nice day.

Gorthaur (the Cruel)

Leave a Comment

I think Sauron is just enjoying boasting a little, and is to some extent trying to annoy Finrod into doing something stupid, or to cause trouble between him and Orodreth.  Sauron isn't really expecting either of the latter to occur, but he likes showing off and making other people miserable.  Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for the feedback.