No title yet. by ladyoflight

Chapter 1

"OUCH!"

"'Rondie?"

*indistinct, impolite half-elven muttering*

"Not again, Elrond!" Fussing by a certain King accompanied by more half-elven mutterings."I thought you had the hang of it by now! Isildur told me that it doesn't hurt at all..."

"Damn, I hate it. Bring me that mirror."

"There's still a wee patch left here, 'Rondie. Shall I do it for you?"

"You sure you know to use that thing?" Suspicious herald glares at his King.

"It's not difficult." 

"I'm not so sure!"

"Trust me?"

Elrond grumbles as the King begins to work on him.

"See, it's just cakewalk."

"You have nimble fingers," Elrond mutters.

"I can't deny that, good they come in handy somewhere."

"Now shall we get going?"

 "Mhmm-mhmm.."A dreamy-eyed King.

"My turn." Elrond is uncompromising.

"What?" Incredulous royal growl.

"I get to be the ravisher and you are the ravishee, of course." Famed patience of Elrond frays at the edges.

"But a King--"

"Can go fry in Mordor!" Elrond narrows his eyes."I am owed ravishing. We agreed."

"But Rondie!"

Few minutes of incoherence as Rondie captures a royal set of lips. Rapid progression of events until a heavily panting King says "Oh, Fuck me, Rondie, pleeeeeeease!"

"Nothing I want to do more!" Elrond agrees wholeheartedly.

 *Intermission as they engage in unspeakable activities*
"It was cheating.." a sleepy King whispers.

"Na, it wasn't."

"It was my turn to be ravisher!"

"Na, it wasn't."

"Give me a reason why it wasn't, you cheat!"

"That's the deal: You want me to shave my armpits; you agree to be ravished.Savvy?"

*long moments of consideration in which nimble fingers explore the shaved terrain*

"Savvy."