The Aging of Cirdan by Cirdan

Prologue

Cirdan was pleased with his new boats. They floated upon the water like leaves and were both sturdier and more beautiful than the rafts that he had devised before. He went to Olwe and Elwe and sang to them a song about the boats that he had composed while crafting his newest work. They laughed, delighting ever in his handiwork and his tunes. Cirdan's kinsmen prevailed upon him to sing about his new boats before the Quendi so that they would know the name of his newest creation. After his song, Elwe and Finwe sang about the stars, and the Quendi assembled joined them in the refrain.

Their song was cut short by the booming echoes of hoofs. The Hunter, some whispered to each other in fear. They retreated to their simple dwellings when they heard the great neighing. Others stayed and looked to their leaders for instruction. Ingwe it was who first broke into song, for the music soothed the people. Finwe and Elwe quickly joined him in song. Few joined them, but Cirdan was one, for he was not afraid. They were near Cuivienen, the Water of Awakening. Here, they had ever been safe. As long as they did not wander far, they would come to no harm, for the water was sacred.

When they finished their song, a Rider did indeed appear before them. The great white horse upon which he rode neighed, and the neighing was like no horse that Cirdan had ever heard. Some of the Quendi hid. Some fled and were lost. But Cirdan perceived swiftly that the Great Rider was no shape out of Darkness, for there was a great light, brighter than even the stars, in his face.

Cirdan approached him, drawn to the brightness of his eyes. Others moved forward as if in a trance as well. Among them were those who Cirdan trusted most, those such as Ingwe, Finwe, and his kinsmen Elwe and Olwe.

Ingwe spoke first to the Great Rider, though he knew not if the Rider understood their speech for before this, the Quendi had met no other living things that spoke or sang. He asked for the Great One's pardon on behalf of the Quendi, for there were many who shunned him because of the tales of the Dark Rider upon his wild horse who pursued those that wandered to take them and devour them. Ingwe said that he did not believe that the Great Rider was this same Shadow, for there was a light about him that could not come from one of the shadows and evil spirits.

Then the Great Rider spoke, and all who had not fled beheld his voice with wonder, for it was fair beyond imagination to the ears. Cirdan felt as if he were floating leisurely on his back upon the still waters of Cuivienen and watching the stars above him. But the visions that the Great Rider evoked were not those of the stars, for his very words were like radiant light. Orome he was, a Vala, and he would speak with his kin and deliver the Quendi from the Shadow. Little of this did the Quendi understand, but they trusted his words and were heartened that they might soon be free of the evil that hunted them. Orome rode off on Nahar, and the thunder of the great horse's hoofs did not seem at all dreadful now to those who had stayed to treat with the Great Rider.

Thus it was that Cirdan and the other noble Quendi who had heard the voice of Orome returned to their people and sang to them songs of the Great Rider and his glory so that they would not fear him. They sang that the Shadow that would be chased away by the Great Rider and that the Great Rider would then return to them. Many believed the songs of the wise, but some thought this an evil trick by the dark spirits and fled. Cirdan and his brethren were saddened by this, for they feared that great harm would befall these faint-hearted Quendi. In those days, Cirdan was too busy consoling the people and convincing them to stay by Cuivienen to return to his shipbuilding.

---

Some time later, the words of the wise seemed to be proven false, for the Earth shook and groaned beneath them. The ever-still and peaceful waters of Cuivienen were moved. The great waves sank the rafts and boats that Cirdan and his people had built. Cirdan grieved for the loss of his creations. He looked to the North and saw lights as of mighty fires. Cirdan thought that he might die like those who had been devoured by the forces of darkness. He wondered what it would be like to feel nothing, to be nothing. He shuddered at these thoughts that haunted his waking as well as his dreaming. But always, when he despaired, Cirdan would remember the light in the Great Rider Orome's face and the sound of his voice and feel some measure of reassurance. Then, Cirdan would go to Cuivienen and watch the violent movements of the water in which he no longer dared to swim. He would move as close as he dared and dip his hand in the water. Or sometimes, the waves were so great that he could feel drops of water from the splashes though he stayed a far and safe distance from the tumults of the water.

Surely, the Darkness cannot have created this water, Cirdan thought to himself. And what of the rain, sometimes gentle and sometimes heavy? Or the snowflakes that were cold but beautiful? One of the Powers must surely have conceived of the calm of the waters of Cuivienen, beside which the Quendi awoke in peace and harmony.

At that, the last of Cirdan's fears seemed to be swept away in the waters. The Great Rider had said that the Powers would deliver them from the shadows and darkness. The waters of Cuivienen were troubled now, like the Earth around them, but the Lord of the Waters would not let this lake or its people be destroyed.

---

When the Battle of the Powers was ended, great clouds arose from the ruin of the North and hid the stars. Most of the Quendi became afraid, thinking that this was the end of the world. But the wise knew better, for the waters of Cuivienen were at last calm again and the land around them remained unravaged. Some force had guarded them throughout the tumult, and this was evidence enough that the Powers had protected them as the Great Rider had promised. Even so, the wise could not alleviate the fear and dread of the people.

Orome came among them again to deliver the summons of the Valar. He spoke of Valinor and the light of the Two Trees, but he did not speak about the ominous words of Mandos: "So it is doomed."

The Quendi feared the Valar though, for they had seen them only in their wrath as they went to war. Therefore Orome chose from among them ambassadors who should go to Valinor and speak for their people, and these were Ingwe, Finwe and Elwe, who afterwards were kings.

Cirdan doubted not that the splendor of Valinor was very great indeed. He knew that when the three leaders returned to the Quendi, they would indeed encourage the people to harken to the summons of the Valar. When the time came, Cirdan knew that he too would join the march westward. He had seen the light in the face of Orome and doubted not the brightness of the Two Trees. He had heard of the greatness of Valinor. All this he desired to see. But also, Cirdan desired to look upon the Lord of the Waters who had created this fair substance and thus created the very water of Cuivienen. He would do obeisance to the Lord and beg to serve him thereafter.

At that time, Cirdan did not yet know that the Lord of the Waters dwelt in all the deep waters about the Earth or under the Earth and came to Valinor only rarely.

---

As Cirdan had expected, the lords returned with Orome to Cuivienen, and they spoke before their people and counseled them to heed the summons of the Valar and remove into the West. Most of the Quendi were moved by their words, and they became the Eldar. Of the three hosts of the Eldalie, Cirdan was with the Teleri, who had for lords both Elwe and Olwe. The march was slow, and the Eldar delighted in the wonders that they saw. Whenever Orome departed, they halted and went forward no more until he returned to guide them. At such times as these, Cirdan set about making rafts and small boats as he had before. His boats became larger and stronger, and he delighted in playing with them upon the waters of the rivers and lakes. But when Orome did return to guide them, as he always did, though sometimes after much time had passed, always Cirdan continued towards the West, sometimes bringing along the smaller boats and abandoning the larger ships to the animals. At Elwe's urgings, the Teleri passed over the Misty Mountains and crossed the wide lands of Eriador. Then, when the Teleri were resting in East Beleriand, beyond the River Gelion, Elwe became lost to them.

Cirdan searched long for Elwe, but when they learned that Ingwe and Finwe and their peoples were gone, the Teleri pressed on to the shores of Beleriand, and Cirdan went with them. Thus it was that he witnessed for the first time the Great Sea. At the sight of Belegaer, Cirdan did not stop to rest like his fellow Teleri but continued traveling without tiring, for he desired very much to feel the water. When he reached the shores, he rejoiced and sprang straight away into the waters of the Sea. Little did he know then of the waves and currents. He swam in bliss for some time and was glad that he had indeed marched westward, for the water was unlike that of Cuivienen. It moved with a life of its own, and though it was not peaceful, Cirdan felt at peace as soon as he gazed out across the seemingly endless water of the Sea.

An undercurrent caught him and dragged him under the depths of the water. When he came up, he was miles from the shore. Dismayed, Cirdan began to swim desperately back towards the shore. He chided himself for not waiting for the other Teleri, for there was no one who had seen his disappearance under the water. The distance was farther than the entire length of Cuivienen, and the currents of the Sea were strong and difficult to fight. Eventually, Cirdan's body tired and grew numb, for the waters of Belegaer were also colder than that of Cuivienen. He wondered if the Deep Waters would be at all like the Darkness that the Quendi had so feared.

"Do not fear, Child of the stars." The voice came from the waters like a crash of the waves upon the shore, yet Cirdan was comforted. The water suddenly began to rise up in a great wave. Cirdan did not fight it. The great wave lifted him up and brought him back to the shore. It became smaller as Cirdan came closer to shore until at last it delivered him gently onto the sands of the beach.

Cirdan turned to face the water and fell down upon his knees. "Lord of the Waters! Long have I sought for you. I am in debt to you for saving my life. In return, I would pledge my life to you."

A figured appeared from the foam of the waves. At first, it seemed to be water itself, but then the shape became that of an Elda. Very tall was he, and his hair was as white as the foam. He had chosen to appear in this guise so as to not frighten Cirdan. He sat upon a rock near to the margin of the land.

"I am not the one you seek," the water lord said. "I am Osse, a Maia and vassal of Ulmo, the Vala and King of the Sea who created with his Music all the waters of the world."

"I will serve you and him then," said Cirdan. "For I perceive that you are also great and that you can teach me much of the secrets of the waters."

Osse nodded. "I will teach you sea-lore and sea-music."

Thus Cirdan befriended Osse and later his spouse Uinen as well. Cirdan came to know Ulmo, though he never saw the Vala in a form other than water itself. Already enamored of the seas, Cirdan learned the ways of the water, the craft of shipbuilding, and songs that were filled with the sound of waves upon the shore. Cirdan and the Teleri dwelt near the shores of Beleriand for many years, but ever and anon, Cirdan would stray from the Sea and search for his kinsman, Elwe. Thus it was that, when Ulmo returned to the coasts of Beleriand to bear the Teleri away to Valinor, by ill-fated chance, Cirdan was away. Cirdan heard too late the great horns of Ulmo, the Ulumuri. When Cirdan arrived at the shores, the Eressea had departed. In the distance, he could see the isle as a small speck of light, and then it was gone.

Cirdan stood on at the coasts of Beleriand and clenched his fist as he gazed out across the Sea. "I will follow that light, alone if none will come with me, for the ship that I have been building is now almost ready."

Then Cirdan heard in his heart the voice of Ulmo. "Abide now that time, for when it comes then will your work be of utmost worth, and it will be remembered in song for many ages after."

This saddened Cirdan, for he wished very much to see the light of the Two Trees. Now, he would not see the Light in the Blessed Realm, nor would he be reunited with his kinsman Olwe. But he saw a vision of a white ship flying in the sky, and it shone brighter than any star. Cirdan decided that he would settle for this vision for now.

"I obey," he said.

Thus Cirdan and his people came to dwell by the shores of Beleriand. They were the Eglath, the Forsaken People, and they were the Falathrim, the people of the foaming shore, and first mariners in Middle Earth and the first makers of ships.