Unrepentant Lovers by oshun

Unrepentant Lovers

Summary: Fingon and Maedhros discuss regrets or lack thereof on the night before they last separate to prepare their own hosts and allies for the Battle of Unnumbered Tears.

My night shall be remembered for a star
That outshone all the suns of all men's days.
-- The Great Lover by Rupert Brooke

"Looking back, would you change anything?" Maedhros asked, propping himself up on one elbow to look down at the beautiful man sharing his bed.

Fingon wrinkled his brow and stuck out his lower lip before chuckling. "Undo anything? You mean like not having left Valinor, not cutting off your hand, or not falling in love with you in the first place? One of those kinds of decisions?"

"Exactly," Maedhros said.

"Obviously, I would not change any of those," Fingon answered, his voice exploding with passion. "I have struggled through some miserable valleys, but the views from the mountaintops have been stupendous. Wait! I can think of one thing I'd do differently. I should have taken your advice at dinner tonight and had the ale you recommended and left the red wine alone. After all this is over, we will have look into ways to provide you with better wine in this Valar-forsaken location."

"Be serious for once, Káno!"

"I have never been more serious in my life. What about you?"

"I should have been ready for that. I think my decisions are more painful to consider. But, for example, if I had not stupidly placed myself in a situation where Morgoth was able to capture me, you would never have rescued me, our people would never have been reunited, and, along with our allies, we all might have died long ago."

Fingon groaned. "I'm sorry, love. I should not have raised that tonight of all nights."

"Don't be silly. I started the discussion. Anyway, no better night to raise it. We should be well aware of the cost of failure in this venture. Obviously, I'm thinking about the Oath now as well. Of course, I have to answer for that. Taking your light tone relating to deadly serious matters, I might admit that I would have liked a day or two to study the text of it. Probably could have found some language that would have served our interests better. No possibility of that though, was there?"

"You are right as always." Fingon laughed mordantly. "Fëanáro was not in the mood for thoughtful consideration at the time. So apparently we are in agreement. We've done the best we could do with what fate has given us."

Maedhros leaned over and kissed Fingon. "With that settled, we should be able to sleep well tonight. Can you reach the lamp, sweetheart? We both need our rest. Tomorrow is the beginning of our most significant . . . " Fingon cut off his remark with an outraged snort.

"Not so fast! Some things are more essential than rest."