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Chapter 1


Daeron
Missed two busses in a row
9:47am

Maglor
Are you at work now?
9:53am

Daeron
yes regrettably
9:53am

Maglor
The kids have their musical theatre showcase today
warning
I’m not gonna be able to reply instantly
9:55am

Daeron
What really??
9:55am

Maglor
yes I literally told you this last night
that is why I left so early
9:57am

Daeron
Oh. well break their legs!
9:57am

Maglor
I’m… not going to do that
k gotta go, kids’ parents are arriving
9:59am

Daeron
Have you seen this one?! https://archiveofourown.org/works/38560626/chapters/97014990

Shall I Teach Thee? - Elves_Behaving_Badly - The Silmarillion and… An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization of Transformative Works

10:14am

mm some Findarato and Makalaure content, excellent
10:15am

Ahaha they’ve got you down

Káno took a very serious stance, put his hands on Ingo’s shoulders, and said, “I need to have sex with someone, and… you’re the only one I can get at the last minute like this.”
Ingo took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and said, “I’m sorry, I need you to repeat that, because it sounded like you’d lost your damn mind!
“No, look, I’m not asking you to marry me,” Káno said. That, obviously, would be ridiculous. “I just need to experience sex with someone and you’re the only one I can really turn to.”

10:20am

Maglor
I’m working teaching *children* if you recall
I don’t need to see this right now
10:26am

shouldn’t you be working also??
10:28am

Daeron
I’m done work
10:29am

Maglor
??
you started less than 30 mins ago
10:40am

Daeron
yes and my job is a joke
10:40am

aaww you’re being so nice to Ingo
10:45am

Maglor
please stop
10:47am

Daeron
you’re sweet.
In this fic I mean.
not so much irl but I like you that way
10:50am

love you
10:52am

And then Káno was kissing his neck softly, and his collarbone, and moving his mouth over his shoulders, and he kept singing as his hands rose to rest on his cousin’s shoulders and push into his hair. And then Káno’s mouth was on one of his nipples and his voice hit a pitch he had not intended, and he could not believe how his body was responding to this.

11:02am

why don’t you sing to me any more?
11:03am

Maglor
adjhdagjh STOP
11:10am

I will sing for you this weekend if you shut up now
11:12am

Daeron
weekend?? It’s only Tuesday
11:12am

Maglor
Yes, weekend.
11:19am

Daeron
Fine.
11:20am

oh shiiiiit!!
11:29am

Maglor
?
11:32am

Daeron
You, uh. You bit him.
11:34am

Maglor
Excuse me?
11:35am

Daeron
Ingo - you bit him.
11:35am

Not in a sexy way.
11:36am

Maglor
I don’t want to know.
11:40am

Daeron

Ingo jerked unexpectedly, thrusting up and too deep into Káno’s mouth, whose unfortunate instinctive reaction was to close his mouth further. Just a little. Just enough. Ingo screamed.

11:41am

Maglor
I SAID I DON’T WANT TO KNOW
11:45am

honestly it’s unethical
11:47am

Daeron
You’re one to talk
11:50am

Sorry that was a low blow
11:54am

Loreal?
12:10am

Okay I’m going for lunch
Call me?
I’m sorry
12:14am

* * *

Incoming Call: Daeron
(306) 789-4455
Decline | Answer

“Hey.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For saying you’re unethical.”

“What? Oh. I didn’t see this. Whatever – Vaire’s needles, I told you to stop calling me Loreal! I’m not a shampoo!”

“It’s cute.”

“It’s not. The show just finished. They were amazing.”

“Oh, that’s great! What were you talking about though?”

“What?”

“What’s unethical?”

“Oh. Writing fanfic about living people.”

“They don’t know we’re living. Or ever existed.”

“Yeah, but we could be. We don’t die in canon.”

“I think people should write what they want. Nobody is making you read it.”

“You are literally making me read it.”

“Well, yes, okay… okay I’ll only send you stuff about us.”

“I don’t want to read stuff about us either!”

“What? Why? It’s hot.”

“It’s weird.”

“Listen to this one: ‘I move over the joints of each elegant finger, each deft fingertip, and then I wrap my lips around the middle one, my teeth softly scraping and biting’–”

“Stop! … Where are you?”

“Outside.”

“Are there people around?”

“No.”

“Okay … keep reading it.”

“Ha ha ha. No, I think I won’t.”

“That is not fair.”

“I’m trans in this one. How do they know?”

“I guess you give those vibes? I don’t know.”

“Why do I only get shipped with you? It’s not fair.”

“Is that a problem?”

“... I mean, no. Just that you get to sleep with everyone.” 

"Yeah, including the fucking Dark Lord. Lords, plural. Not enviable.”

”Hey, Mr. Goldsmith, look what we came up with!”

"Oh, that’s nice Chuzheng! Whoa, be careful - no, Arwen, please don’t, that chair isn’t strong enough – !"

“Sorry Dae, kid down, one sec.”

”Are you alright? Okay, yeah, good. I don’t think the chair choreography is a good idea. Yeah. No, the rest looks great! I’ll see you inside after the break."

“Arwen? You have a student named Arwen?”

“Yeah, theatre parents. Anyway, what were we talking about?”

“Why no one likes me. I only have 320 fics and you have like 4700. We’re basically the same trope.”

“You betrayed a girl. You’re cancelled.”

“You murdered people!”

“... Can we not have this conversation right now?”

“Sorry… I’m just grumpy because Georgia is talking about making me share an office with Jeff. The mansplainer with the bachelor’s degree in music.”

“Oh … that’s bad.”

Yes.”

“You might murder people.”

“Har har. Not funny.”

“All right, I have to go. The teen troupe is performing in ten minutes.”

“Break their legs.”

“... That’s not what you’re supposed to say. Please don’t send any more fics.”

“No promises.”

“Right, well I’m muting you then. Love you.”

“Love you.”

* * *

Maglor
You won’t believe it
1:05pm

Daeron
Look who couldn’t stay away!
believe what?
1:06pm

Maglor
one of the teens is reading our book
1:07pm

Daeron
It’s hardly our book. I’m mentioned like six times.
1:10pm

Maglor
You know what I mean.
Anyway she’s obsessed with Maedhros.
1:10pm

what is it with redheads?
1:12pm

Daeron
have they figured out about him and Finno?
1:15pm

Maglor
of course everyone figures that out now
1:16pm

Daeron
what about us?
1:19pm

Maglor
uhh… she didn’t remember your character
1:21pm

Daeron
great
I guess that’s better than hating me
1:25pm

Maglor
don’t worry, I’ll get her to read Lay of Leithian
1:26pm

Daeron
ugh the translation is so bad though
1:28pm

okay well now Georgia has asked me for some data report last minute
that I was apparently supposed to intuit she would need
1:31pm

Maglor
and you didn’t?
1:32pm

Daeron
I did but I was hoping she’d ask Jeff
how am I supposed to find time to brush up on Aramaic
1:35pm

Maglor
alright well you better get to it. Im witching the next show so phone is doing off
*watching
*going. fml
see you tognigt
*tonight. gdi!!
1:39pm

I should be home by 5:30
1:40pm

Daeron
k. I’ll be home before that with any luck
1:42pm

Maglor
can you walk Telvo if you are?
1:42pm

Daeron
sure
1:45pm

* * *

It’s 6pm by the time Maglor finally gets home, soaking wet from an unexpected rainstorm. Telvo comes bouncing up to the door, eagerly yapping and pawing at his waist.

“Did you take Telvo out?”

“No, it’s raining.” Daeron is sitting at his desk in the corner of their apartment, flanked by piles of records, books, and precariously-balanced recording equipment. He glances back at Maglor. “You’re soaking wet.”

“Yes, but he still needs to go out!” Maglor says, ignoring the last, obvious statement.

“Okay, okay, I’ll take him in ten minutes, I’m just finishing this.” Daeron’s fingers resume clacking noisily on the keyboard.

Kicking off his soaked-through sneakers, Maglor walks across the room and peers over Daeron’s shoulder. “What are you working on?”

The browser window disappears with a keyboard shortcut that only the most talented flautist to ever exist could pull off in that time.

“Don’t look!” Daeron snaps.

“Why?” Maglor reaches over his shoulder for the mouse and is batted away.

“Because – what if it’s a surprise for you?”

“Is it?”

Daeron blinks and pouts.

“Didn’t think so,” Maglor says. “I can read your mind if I really wanted to know. Just let me see.”

A silence passes in which Daeron continues to pout and Maglor experimentally probes at his thoughts.

“Okay, fine!” Daeron says. “Fine. But don’t judge me. It’s fun, okay?”

“... What … are you doing?”

The browser window pops back up. “There,” Daeron says, flicking a hand at the monitor.

“Post New Work…” Maglor’s eyes scan the screen and slowly widen as the realisation settles. “Wait, what? This is you? You’re Elves_Behaving_Badly?!”

“Yes.” Daeron crosses his arms.

You wrote that fic about me and Ingo? Morgoth’s bleeding feet…” Maglor takes a step back.

“But people love reading about your family sleeping with each other!”

“So that was all just an act, pretending to be reading it today?”

“Well, actually… I was writing it today. I never know what direction it will take! I was genuinely surprised.”

“I’m not even getting into how insulting it is that your muse thought to have your lover of seven ages not know how to perform fellatio.”

“No!” Daeron protests. “It’s funny.”

Maglor groans. “You seriously thought I’d never figure this out? What else have you written?”

“Uh... well I did write one about us.” Daeron navigates to his Dashboard and quickly clicks to open another fic.

“Whoa, whoa, wait, there’s one about you and Lúthien?”

“Nevermind that.” Daeron waves him off. “I just wrote it to correct certain incorrect assumptions.”

“No, I mind. I want to read that one.”

“Elbereth! I’m over her.” Daeron glares at him.

“Yes, I should hope so. But I want to know what you’re like with a woman.”

“You’re definitely not reading that one over my shoulder. Just, here.” He shuffles over to give Maglor room to read. “This is the one about us.”

“‘First Fruits’,” Maglor reads aloud. “‘A beautiful summer day, a spontaneous romp, and an unexpected treat.’ Sounds promising.”

Daeron stands and throws his hands up. “Okay I’m not sitting here while you read this. I’ll take Telvo out.”

Maglor slides himself into the chair and scrolls through the fic, eyes unblinking and pulse quickening.

Daeron smirked but reached up with his head, taking a bite of the remarkably succulent fruit, the juices of it running down his face. Maglor leaned in to suck at his chin and jaw with a satisfied hum.

He swallows the lump in his throat. “Umm… Dae?” Turning around, he finds his partner gone. “Dammit.”

* * *

Maglor
Hey, umm could you pick up some peaches while you’re out?
for Reasons
6:19pm

Daeron
you bet ;-)
6:21pm


Chapter End Notes

Thanks to Elves_Behaving Badly for agreeing to let me quote their works. I recommend their fics - sexy and fun! The finger-sucking passage with trans Daeron is from my own fic, A Secret Chord.


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