Finding Lost Family by chrissystriped

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Chapter Four

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Ecthelion bowed to the king. Finarfin looked as if he didn’t feel comfortable in his armour and Ecthelion wasn’t surprised. Finarfin had never been a warrior. He was a scholar and a patron of the fine arts, he never had had much to do with swords. That he was here now – despite everything – proved how important this war had been. And he could hardly stay back when the Valar went to war to save his people.

“You asked to see me, Lord Ecthelion? How may I help you and... your people.”

“Thank you for seeing me, Your Majesty. And, if you allow, we decided to call ourselves ‘Angband-Elves’.”

It was a strange way to avoid being called ‘slaves’ by putting the place where they had been enslaved into their endonym, but it was what all of them had in common. They belonged together because they had been there.

“Angband-Elves.” Finarfin nodded slowly. “As you wish, Ecthelion. You asked for this conversation, what can I do for you?”

“First, I want to thank you for the support you have already given us. It is a little cramped but at least all of us have a roof over our heads and decent clothes.”

Ecthelion took a deep breath. There was no possibility to approach the point tactfully but they needed to talk about it. Now, before something bad happened.

“My people tell me of insults being called at them. It’s usually about not choosing to leave our life behind. That we let ourselves be used for... for the sexual pleasure of our masters.”

Ecthelion hated that his voice trembled at the words. He wasn’t traumatised. He’d had sex with so many people, a few more didn’t matter. If he didn’t dwell on it having happened against his will, it was bearable.

“Not all of us left Angband with an unharmed soul. I can fight with words and if I have to, with weapons, but not all of us can. They went through hell and it is cruel to shun them for it. It seem to be mostly Vanyar who think like that, but I’ve heard about Noldor, too.”

Finarfin nodded with earnest, sad eyes. How long did he know that almost his whole family was dead?, Ecthelion wondered. And he didn’t only need to think of the Angband-Elves, there were all those exiled Noldor who were allowed to go home now. It would disturb Tirion more than a little.

“I’ll talk to Ingwion and I’ll let my officers know that I don’t tolerate insults to your people.”

Ecthelion bowed again. “Thank you, Your Majesty.”

Finarfin shook his head. “I should apologise to you. It should be clear that you have to be treated with kindness, not insults. Ecthelion, a question?”

“Of course, Your Majesty.”

“Some of my officers are worried about those orcs. They think it could be a plan to attack us unawares. And I know they vowed to not leave the perimeter, but what is the vow of an orc worth?”

Ecthelion sighed. “Five hundred orcs against all of us? That would be a desperate plan and they know we won the war. No, I’m sure that they don’t want to harm us. They have honour, they won’t break their vow.”

Finarfin held his gaze for a moment.

“I will trust you in this”, he finally said. “And I hope you are not proven wrong. In any case, it’s the Valar who are going to have to decide what to do with them.”

Ecthelion hoped fervently that the Valar wouldn’t make a decision based on their wrath for Morgoth. All he could do was wait and speak his mind whenever it was necessary.

 

Aule was waiting in his tent. Ecthelion froze in his motions, halfway through the entrance. The Vala sat on his folding chair and smiled at him.

“Have you been waiting for long?”, Ecthelion asked and closed the flap behind him.

“Not that long. You are hard to find, Ecthelion.”

“I’m very busy. My people have needs and Sharû’s men, too.”

“Has he told you about his brother?”

“You know about him?”

Ecthelion was surprised. He hadn't expected Aule to take that much interest in the orcs.

“I met him at the orc camp. Your guards didn’t want to let him in, so I brought Sharû to him. To be honest, I wanted to see how Sharû would react.”

“He passed the test, I suppose?”

Ecthelion grimaced, but he realised that this hadn’t been the last test of their temperament, Sharû and the other orcs would have to pass. He wasn’t naive.

“You could say that, yes. But that’s not why I’m here. Can you talk about Angband?”

“Why?”

Ecthelion shuddered. He didn’t like to think of the nastier things that had happened to him.

“Because I have a Maia in my tent who’s almost withering with regret. I have to know how I should treat him.”

“I gave you that list. I think that shows how we think you should treat him.”

“Yes, but it’s easier to put your signature on a piece of paper when others have done it before – especially if you don’t have to directly deal with the consequences. And... I don’t want to insult you, but do you know the term ‘slave sickness’?”

Ecthelion gritted his teeth. He’d have liked to waive this, but he knew that it was real. He had felt it, too. He shuddered again, but Aule had to hear it.

“I’ll tell you something about slave sickness, herunya. Yes, it can happen, but it goes away again, too. I’d not been long in Angband, and I was looking like it. I’d been a leader all my life, I wasn’t ready to bow. A few orcs decided to put me in my place. Any soldier could take a slave. It were three of them and they had me for two weeks, every night after work.

"Sometimes I was in so much pain that I didn’t know how I should manage to get up in the morning. One of them was a bit gentler, he gave me water and a bit of his own rations. He’d stroke my hair afterwards. I don’t know why he did it, but after those two weeks, I felt... drawn to him. I wasn’t in love, but I had a hard time not to feel sorry when he didn’t come back for me. It took a few weeks for me to think normal again.

"And that happened when I’d been there for barely a year. Now imagine how it has to be for someone who was born in Angband, or been a slave for long, or maybe even has a child of an orc. It isn’t a sign of weakness, I want to say. And concerning Mormirion: He helped us, saved the lives of many of us – mine, too.” Ecthelion touched his cheek and Aule nodded slowly.

“And now he has saved all our lives. We would have been killed if he hadn’t decided to go against his orders and help us to escape. I don’t know him well, Mormirion I mean. When he treated my wounds, I was unconscious most of the time. But I imagine he didn’t like much how it was in Angband. He tried to make our lives better.”

“He gifted you his sword, didn’t he?”

Ecthelion nodded. “He said, I'd earned it.” He smiled wryly. “Do you want to see it?”

“If you don’t mind.”

Ecthelion took it from its peg on the tent pole. He thought it more sensible to not walk around armed – he might forget his own advice at an insult. Aule pulled the sword from its sheath and weighed it in his hand.

“Maybe...” He shook his head. “Do you know that the one you call Sauron escaped?”

Ecthelion shivered. “What? No, I didn’t know that.”

“And it would be better if it weren’t on everyone’s lips.” Aule looked uneasy. “Maybe I could find him with this, he forged it, after all. Do you think you could lend it to me? You’ll get it back, of course.”

“Take it. Anything to find him”, Ecthelion said without hesitation. He really didn’t want Sauron to walk free.

 

Sharû heard the fight before he saw it. Two of his men were fighting, rolling on the floor and dealing out punches and a few of the orcs who were watching seemed inclined to join in. Sharû could understand it. They were bored and the fact that no one knew what the future would bring didn’t make the tension better. But he couldn’t tolerate it.

“Separate these idiots!”, he snapped at the spectators and soon looked into the bloody faces of Ardnaz and Lugursh. “Kitchen duty for a month”, he barked at them. “And be glad that I don’t have the means to punish you properly. I won’t suffer quarrel under my command. I thought, I’d made that clear a long time ago!”

“But, Sir!” Lugursh fell silent when Sharû glowered at him.

“No!” Sharû turned to the soldiers standing around. “I know you are frustrated. I know you fear for your life. Believe me, I feel the same, but we are at the mercy of these people. They are biased and some of it is true. We have to prove to them that we can be civilised. We have to be on our best behaviour.”

He had to talk to Ecthelion, it couldn't go on like this, he needed some way to keep his men occupied Not that he really thought that they would be allowed weapons – even practice weapons – but at least he had to try.

 

Ecthelion stared at the orc. “You can't be serious! Can you imagine the uproar it will cause if I arm you? Not to mention that I don’t have weapons I could share. And to be honest, I wouldn’t feel comfortable either. It's too much, Sharû.”

“We won’t hurt anyone.”

Ecthelion looked hard at Sharû but then he sighed. “I believe you”, he said. “You gave your word and I believe you, but I can’t do this.”

Sharû nodded in understanding. “I didn’t expect you could, but I had to ask. My men are restless. They are soldiers, Ecthelion. Do you know what happens to soldiers who have no task? They start to fight against each other.”

Ecthelion rubbed his neck. “I’ll think about it.” Of course he knew that soldiers who were bored got into mischief, that wasn’t only the case with orcs.

There were a lot of former soldiers among the Angband-Elves, captives of the many battles. Maybe... The idea was absurd, but then, why not? He would talk to a few of them and maybe something would come of his crazy idea. They had been enemies, but that didn’t need to remain the case. Ecthelion scrutinised Sharû. He would have to lead by example and Sharû was the highest ranking orc. Ecthelion grinned. It might even be fun to pit himself against him.

 

Sharû stood with his men on the square they had made between the tents. It was too small for all of them, the back rows stood between the tents, but he couldn’t change that. Ecthelion had asked him to muster his men, he had a ‘surprise’ for them. In Sharû’s experience, surprises were nothing good, but the elf hadn’t looked like he wanted them ill.

He looked at the sky to gauge time. It was a good day, overcast, even those of his men who reacted sensitive to the sun wouldn’t have problems today. He hoped, Ecthelion wouldn’t make them wait for too long, they were tense enough.

He heard them before he could see them. His men fidgeted, when their former slaves came in sight, but Ecthelion knew what he was doing. The elves could have looked threatening in their armour, taken from Angband’s armoury, but Ecthelion didn’t make them march in formation. They came strolling up the main road. And what they were carrying... Baskets with practice weapons. Sharû grinned, so it hadn’t been so wrong to ask him after all!

Ecthelion stopped a few paces away from him.

“Colonel Sharû.”

Sharû didn’t know what rank Ecthelion had held, but he had been a Lord of Gondolin.

“Lord Ecthelion of the Fountain.”

A smile came to Ecthelion’s lips.

“You wanted to practice. My people need exercise, too. The weapons are lent so it would be good if nothing broke. And I hope that it is clear that seriously hurting each other is undesirable.” Ecthelion looked around. “As we are a lot of people and the room is limited, I suggest we split into groups who can spar in turn.”

He pulled one of the swords from a basked that stood beside him and greeted Sharû with it. “Do me the honour, Colonel?”

Sharû couldn’t hide his wide grin. “With pleasure, Lord Ecthelion.” He took his time choosing a weapon until he found one that felt good in his hands.

He was sure that Ecthelion hadn’t chosen his sword at random, he must have known were in the basket it was. He knew that everyone watched then when he turned to Ecthelion. They had formed a circle around them. Later they wouldn’t spar one after the other, but this first fight everyone wanted to see. Ecthelion wore a helmet and Sharû put his on, too. He was glad now that they had been allowed to keep their armour. It was practice, it wasn’t a fight to the death, their weapons were blunt, but they wouldn’t hold back. Sharû attacked first.

 

Sharû was good, he had to give him that – and damned strong. Ecthelion barely parried the next strike, one hand braced against his sword’s edge to get a better angle. With a quick motion he reached between their linked swords and wound his forearm around Sharû’s wrists so the orc had to let go of his sword if he didn’t want him to break bones.

In a fight to the death, he would have pushed his sword’s point up through the orc’s head, but for training he just tapped the pommel against Sharû’s helmet to show him that it was his point. Sharû blinked surprised and accepted his sword back that Ecthelion had taken from him in the process. He grinned at him.

“Not bad for a beanpole”, he said and Echtelion laughed good-humouredly.

“There were times I was faster.” His ribs hurt where Sharû had hit him in their first fight. “But you aren’t bad either, for an orc.”

Ecthelion took his helmet off and wiped the sweat from his forehead before looking around. After their first fight, which Ecthelion had lost – he hadn’t expected anything else, he was out of practice after all – other pairs had found each other.

It had been a good idea, although he hadn’t told Finarfin the whole truth when he had asked for practice weapons. He had only spoken of his own people.

“Thank you”, Sharû said. “This will take some tenseness from them. Did you hear something new?”

Ecthelion shook his head. “But I think that’s a good sign. If they were in agreement so quickly, it would mean something bad for you, I think. That they can’t decide means they don’t want to kill you.”

“I hope you are right...” Sharû shook his head. “Best of three?”

Ecthelion laughed and put his helmet on again. “With pleasure.”

 

Later they sat around the fires and drank wine. Ecthelion had claimed a few bottles from Morgoth’s personal stock as spoils of war and Finarfin had agreed. Ecthelion, Gil and Alandur sat with Sharû and his captains. He had encouraged his people to stay and eat dinner with the orcs. Ecthelion listened to the conversation about weapons.

His shoulders felt pleasantly heavy. He hadn’t known it but he’d needed this and he hoped they would do it again. The mood had at no period been hostile. It had surprised him a little, he had expected some quarrels. But both sides seemed to have realised that this practice session could only work if they held back. Ecthelion knew that some of his people didn’t have much sympathy for the orcs – even some of those who had come here today – and he was sure that not all of Sharû’s men were as sensible as their colonel.

He looked into the sky, new moon, but the clouds had dispersed and the stars were shining brightly. He hadn’t seen this in such a long time. Gil, the star, followed his gaze.

“Aeg, you lived in Aman. Can you see the same stars there?”

Ecthelion hesitated for a moment.

“When the Trees were still blooming”, he said slowly, “you could see the stars only if you went seaward through the Calacirya. A night like today... I didn’t know something like it. It wasn’t a span of time, it was a question of distance. Were you born before the moon, Gil?”

He was a Nando, but Ecthelion had no idea how old he was.

Gil shook his head. “I know the eternal night as little as you. Or even less. After all...” Gil fell silent.

“Yes”, Ecthelion said softly. “I experienced the night suddenly assaulting us. But it was different, too. It wasn’t a natural night, the stars were hidden, everywhere this... unlight, that ate all light.” He shivered. “It took a long time for the fog to clear.”

A memory of the Helcaraxe came to him. It had been a clear night. No wind, no clouds. When he thought back, he sometimes felt like they had stumbled from one snow storm into the next, but on this day the sky had been clear, like now, and the stars had dipped the ice around them in silver light. It had been beautiful.

“We love the starlight”, Ecthelion said. “Although we will forever mourn the loss of the Trees. Sun and Moon... they are beautiful, but the Light of the Trees was something else.”

He noticed that everyone around their fire was looking up now and the faces of the orcs were puzzled, searching for something.

At another fire someone started to sing, a song in honour of Varda. And Ecthelion felt... peace. His heart was at rest. He saw a tear run down Sharû’s cheek and wondered what he was thinking of. The orc was similar to him in a lot of things, but he was so foreign, too. He knew nothing about his life and suddenly Ecthelion realised that he wanted to know about him. Not just out of curiosity or for scientific reasons. He wanted to know Sharû, be allowed to call him friend.

 

Sharû fought the tears but he felt wetness run down his cheeks. He knew this song. It was an old song, the Angband-Elves had changed and their music had changed with them, but this was a song from before. His mother had sung it to him, the same melody, the language a little different. A memory from his childhood. He murmured the words along, would have liked to sing, but he didn’t dare. What would his captains think if he started to sing an elvish song?

Ecthelion and the elves around their fire lifted their voices and Sharû suddenly didn’t care if his captains would think him mad. He closed his eyes so he didn’t have to see their looks. His voice was rough and deep, so different from the clear elven voices – and he hadn’t sung since he had been a small child. He was sure that he was singing flat. He jumped, his eyes flying open, when Ecthelion’s hand touched his.

Ecthelion quickly pulled his hand back, their eyes met, Ecthelion’s were very gentle. No one had ever looked at him like this – no one outside of his family, at least. What was this? Ecthelion smiled at him.

“I didn’t know you can sing.”

“Can I?”

“Ah, at least you know the lyrics.” Ecthelion winked at him. “How come?”

Sharû gulped. He knew that all the others were listening, too. No one knew about his family. Orcs didn’t have a family, orcs didn’t show weakness that could be exploited. And the fact that he loved his surviving siblings had been a weakness in Angband, the identity of his parents something that might have put his loyalty into doubt.

“My mother was the daughter of a slave. She knew so many elvish songs and stories and she taught them to my siblings and me”, he said. He could hear Azbog make a surprised sound but Ecthelion looked intrigued.

“See”, he said to the other elves. “They aren't so different from us.”

Sharû blinked quickly because he was again close to tears. He could hear that Ecthelion meant it and it touched his heart.