Stupid Sexy Gil-galad by bunn

In a hole in the ground...

In a hole in the ground lived a god. 

Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it.  

It was a hole built by the High King of the Noldor, and that means Architecture. It had a high curving ceiling decorated with fine carvings and it contained a couple of small fountains and a large bed covered in deep blue star-scattered velvet.  

And, as I mentioned, it also contained a god. 

Eru had not actually intended to take up residence in a hole in the ground, no matter how palatial.  

He had merely swung by his Creation to see how things were going, now that his most troublesome child had been moved into a separate room where he could blow his kazoo without annoying anyone. 

And there, walking along the shore, his long hair blowing in the wind, his golden clothes framing him perfectly, him.  

Ereinion Gil-galad. High King of the Noldor, and the single sexiest thing since the creation of the Universe.  Eru could speak to this with authority. 

Eru had been planning to move on to Sqornshellous Zeta. But one look into Gil-galad’s clear grey, commanding eyes, the touch of his hand, the sound of his lovely voice... and he decided that godding could wait for a bit. 

This was going to be great. 

And it was. It really was.  Although, Gil-galad turned out to be more than aware of his unique attractions. And also, the unique attraction of having a god to hand.

Somehow or other, Eru had found himself handcuffed to the wall of this (admittedly pleasant) place, using some technology which really should have been beyond even the limits of the Noldor.  It was also built into the walls. And the door. 

Ereinion visited him once a week. Not that Eru was constrained by the limits of time or space, except that if he skipped straight to next week, Ereinion would look at him in that way that made it clear he was disappointed Eru had not waited. 

So he did wait, filling himself with many exciting and diverting thoughts, about all sorts of fleshly things that were something of a revelation.

They did call him omnipotent. And he was really enjoying the potent bit, at the moment. The time just flew by, once you got used to it. 

Sometimes Ereinion would bring him problems. For example, this week, he had brought him the problem of his cousin Galadriel being a terrible nuisance and wanting to distract Ereinion from his weekly visit. 

Ereinion would like the power to be able to send her and her irritating gloomy soldiers back to Valinor, please.  Maybe via some sort of glowing and definitely one-way portal. 

Eru looked into Ereinion Gil-galad’s grey eyes, and sighed with adoration.  He would have granted him anything.