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This is wonderful! I love how you incorporated Fingon's prayer to Manwe into the poem, and I particularly like these two lines, for the sound of them and the image:

So I climb these hateful heights

As we sing together in our souls

Thank you so much for your lovely comment. I'm very flattered that you think Fingon could actually have written it - but I'm also conscious that he doesn't acknowledge Thorondor! I'm sure he would have done so eventually - but at the time I think he may just have been aware of a great force which gave him the power of flight (and it was easier to write that way). :)