Comments

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In the earliest draft of the challenge text, I included the sundering of the Elves at Cuivienen as an example of a possible revolution. I ended up taking it out in favor of other examples. And then it's the idea you pursue! Great minds! :)

I loved this story. I love your use of the prompt ... I angsted over a prompt for you. It is hardest to give a prompt to someone you know well!

> Míriel herself had silver hair which picked up the light of the stars in near darkness or glowed red or gold when lit by the cooking fires.

Beautiful imagery here. Also, your descriptions of Elwe and Finwe ... *sigh*

> He raised one hand high above his head to gain their attention.

OMG! I do that with my middle schoolers! (We call it Quiet Coyote. The image of Finwe doing a Quiet Coyote is adorable. :D)

> The Tatyar disapproved of the mystification of knowledge, calling it witchcraft.

I love your take on how they would have regarded magic. I think it makes perfect sense, given what we know of the Noldor. And these two paragraphs about the Noldor and magic are just wonderfully written. And then ...

> One of their few basic principles was that refusing to share knowledge was the greatest of evils.

Oh my my. It makes me wonder what changes--or doesn't--by the time Feanor makes (and hoards knowledge of the making of) the Silmarils.

> She smiled back at him. “Be vigilant then, Bright Eyes, lest you should lose me also.”

I actually physically felt something when I read this. Like a twisting. Painfully poignant foreshadowing; the use of her pet name for him just makes it hurt more.

The idea that Miriel was reluctant and really only went to Aman because she didn't want to be parted from Finwe really appeals to me because it explains so much of her later discontent and also the temperament of Feanor. One wonders what he knew of his mother's preferences, or if he inherited some love of the more untamed life in Middle-earth from her. The idea that she went for love--and that last line, which seems to forebode so much--makes it feel as though the unraveling of the Noldor didn't begin with Finwe's remarriage but here: in both their choices to pursue love with someone whose vision of what makes a good life was so different from the other's. And this is a forever-decision, at least as far as they know.

Really, really wonderful story--a delight to read and it really got the wheels in my mind turning!

Oh, Dawn, what a wonderful comment. You know exactly how my head works. All of the things you mention are things that I desperately hoped that some reader somewhere might notice! Of course, it would be you.

I would like to write more about Finwe and Miriel and I think working my way through this short little snippet gave me a basis from which to start thinking about them more. Inquiring minds want to know! I always wanted to know two things--where the Feanor business came from--he did not seem much like Finwe and what the relationship between Mirial and Finwe was like.

Aww! Thank you so much. I should thank you also for the prompt. Although it was not used exactly in the sense it was intended in the song!

I like this take on Finwe and Miriel's early relationship, especially her personality which one sees so little of. The line about her having no authority she didn't earn through her industry and skill is especially nice.

Of course you always do such nice little personality touches such as their pet names and her reaction to his charisma, not suckered in by it but definitely finding it part of his appeal. The choice to leave what they know for a chance at something grander is poignant in light of how it all worked out. Especially since she wasn't that keen on the idea in the first place.

This feels really special, not just some little piece dashed off for a challenge but a full formed story and universe just waiting for the next chapter to be written. I enjoyed this a lot.

Thank you so much for saying such nice things about this story!!!

You are an absolute sweetheart! I would have given it to you to read first, but I wanted to finish it to get it off of my computer screen. I was afraid to wait and lose momentum, but also did not want to hurry you! (I've been catching typos for 24 hours now and fixing them--think I may have most of them by now!)

I am so glad you enjoyed the story. Did you ever read any of The Clan of the Cave Bear books?--the movie sucked, but the book was a piece of wonderful pseudo-anthropological trash--talk about guilty pleasure! Someone called it Neranderthal fanfic once, I think. But whenever I read or write what I think of as Pre-historic Quendi, I think of those books! (I put Hearts Like the Sea in that category, although its world is much more coherent and developed that this one.) I am talking of spirit more than the content. We really cannot know what happened--let's make up some fun shit!

Elwë’s people fought less than the Tatyar, but their numbers shrank, as though his followers melted silently into the forest

They still do that, you know :)

They believed that one could find an explanation for anything if one tried hard enough and explored every possibility.

I can so see Pandë nod and smile knowingly here :D

And oh boy, this is a wonderful glimpse at Miriel's and Finwe's early relationship. And a great insight into the mind of one of the most rebellious woman of the Silm -- after all her ultimate act of rebellion was to die and in doing so to stay true to herself.

Lovely, thoughtful story.

And a great insight into the mind of one of the most rebellious woman of the Silm -- after all her ultimate act of rebellion was to die and in doing so to stay true to herself.

Seriously, Binka! Thank you so much! I hoped that people would see that part in her.

What a wonderful and considered comment!