A Midwinter’s Feast by Lilith

This was fun to write through the eyes of a very observant child, and I'm becoming incredibly fond of Celebríao.   I've also rather unexpectedly become very fond of her father who has to negotiate the complexities of life in Eregion and the greater complications of life with his in-laws.   He's rather wonderful in this, being deeply concerned for his child, his wife, her cousin and his city.

I think Mairen is somewhat surprised.  She had expected a conflict with Galadriel at some point, but she hadn't expected it to be this overt this early.  I'd imagine she'd quite glad because it leaves her very little to do other than be patient and restrained.  That said, she's still trying to map out the complexities of life in Eregion as is pretty much everyone else.

I've really enjoyed writing this from Celebrian's perspective.   She's a very intelligent, observant and empathetic young woman, but she's swimming in some deep current and would be, frankly, with the family she has even without Mairen disturbing the very delicate balance among them.  With Mairen there and she's a little ambivalent about this woman who has entered her life while she was unaware,  it's all the more complicated   I've also discovered that I enjoy writing Celeborn. I hadn't exactly expected or not expected that, but he's an interesting figure in this in the sense that he's trying very hard to see and feel the perspectives of the different figures in this.   

Eregion has been fascinating to write as a setting particularly as the complexities of such an ethnically diverse place manifest in a period in which I'm trying to fathom the relationship between the lords and ladies and the craftspersons.  I'm fiddling with the next chapter because I'm trying to explore more of the Silvan, Sindarin and Noldorin divisions and how that might translate through status and how it might play in terms of language.  Mairen's use of language is fascinating.  She's very willing to play with it and use it to highlight the alliances she's busy crafting.   At the same time, she is also enjoying living among the elves of Eregion for reasons that don't always coincide with her larger plan.   Life.  It gets in the way of plans.

Celeborn has a remarkable capacity for diplomacy and compromise; at this point, he's also a little of the view that they've tried it her way and it hasn't worked so it's time for some conversation and diplomacy with the new girl, partly because the new girl is more skilled at this game than they had expected.   I think Celebrían is far more Noldorin in nature than he'd hoped, but I think she had perhaps built the image of Lórinand upon based upon what she thinks Doriath must have been like and that she'd set herself up a bit for disappointment.   

The curious or interesting or complicated aspect of Mairen in this is the blend of truth and lies that she tells.  Without question,  her identity as one who'd come from Valinor around the time of the War of Wrath (again different from canonical Sauron) is very much a lie, but she bases almost every story and every aspect of her identity on some form of truth, primarily in crafting an identity that borrow greatly from her former self (or her imagined version of it) before her fall, so there is a very great deal of truth in what she tells Celebrimbor and Celebrían.  She decided that the lies would be easier to maintain if they skirt close to the truth and that she'd be more likely to succeed if there's something authentic (for lack of a better word) in them.  She hadn't played in snow, and there was, indeed, no time or inclination for it during the wars between the elves and Melkor.  She has traveled to the East and found it beautiful, and it has been very, very long since she has felt she belonged, so much so that she's given up any expectation of it and longs only for a place she can make that is safe and invulnerable and perfectly ordered for that purpose.  But she does have mixed feelings;  a very small and very quiet part of her and one she works very hard to ignore wishes it weren't a lie.

Thank you for such a thoughtful comments.   I'm delighted that those points came across to you.  Celebrimbor's read her well in one respect; he reads her well in so very many, except one.  She does listen to the things that aren't said, and she listens to him very, very closely, which is not at all a good thing for him, however lovely it may seem or even be in the short run.

She's also determined that it will be very difficult to remove her no matter how loud the concerns are from Lindon if she tangibly improves the quality of life in Eregion for everyone, not merely the lord and the lady of the city, and so here come the big public works projects for which she's very excited since (a) life will be nicer, (b) the Mirdain and the other guilds will have a test of their aptitudes, and (3) Galadriel will be annoyed (lagniappe).

As for the last, I'm thrilled you saw that.  Galadriel will do quite a bit to transform Lothlórien into Doriath once she installs herself there and, in particular, after she's been given a ring to do precisely that.

Thank you.  I loved writing that section in part because it was very fun to try to retell those stories in ways that made sense for this world and moved the tale forward at the same time.    

Celeborn has been the unexpected favorite of mine of this tale.   He's a good fellow with his brilliant wife, his rather Noldorin daughter and his wife's very complicated cousin with whom she has a very complicated relationship.   (I feel for Galadriel in this; she isn't wrong and it isn't that they aren't listening to her.  They are, but not nearly enough.)

About Celeborn's observation, Mairen does have a shot a belonging in Eregion, but she's begun lin a way that makes it difficult to achieve.   She also, very near the end of thing, tells Celebrimbor that she's destroyed them both.  I don't know if she's destroyed him in essence but she is correct that she dealt herself quite a blow.

I cannot claim to have originated the idea of Sauron as a lonely being -- that was Guy Kay's Galadan who is and always will

be a version of Sauron and a most compelling one to me.  I'll find the quote later but there's an image of light, whether candles or torches I can't recall, shining just out of reach that's always struck me for Sauron wrapped in dark thought, alone in a dark tower.

But, of herself, Mairen seems to me to have been, of necessity and of her choosing, alone, save for her wolves, and thus very lonely.  I think it's quite a concession to admit it, however obliquely, particularly to one who has done much, through his friendship and talent to remedy that.   I think too the presence of a young girl enables that confession of vulnerability.  Still more, sadly, she's confessed it but the event to which she refers will make it very difficult for her to find the companionship she might be, equally obliquely and somewhat ambivalently, seeking.

The rest will be post early next week.

First off,  thank you for noticing Glorfindel’s lovely little book.  He and Celebrían will garden together once they do meet; it will do her good.

I’m very glad you enjoyed the fairy tales.  They have been some of the parts of this story I loved writing most along with all of the food.

On Celeborn and envinrmental impact and weird dolls, without being utterly anti-progress, he is deeply concerned about the implications of kicking around with nature and sees how all aspects of life are connected.   Probably the key difference between Celeborn and Celebrimbor (leaving Mairen out of it) is simply that Celeborn sees nature as a system of which humans are but one element (with a tendency to disturb the others and this the need to consider that disruption carefully) where Celebrimbor may still see nature as a system for the use of humanity.

I think Celebrían, being a child, sometimes has clearer eyes than the adults around her; she has and has observed the pieces of who/what Mairen has been but she hasn’t the experience to piece it together.  Her elders have the experience but not the fresh eyes.   I’m glad the reasons behind her silence around her dreams made sense.   The prophetic side of the dreams is an interesting one; nothing’s fully in stone yet, though the outcome we know is by far the most likely, and so those dreams might have different potential meanings.   M. tells C. who she is and he sends her away could be another outcome.   The wolf howling might be in defense of a pack.   We and she doesn’t know, but, yes, the tale is most likely to end as we know but Mairen hasn’t fully made or accepted that decision.    She is, currently, feeling caught in a trap of her own making.   She likes Eregion and she likes her friend and his little cousin a very great deal, but she also knows he’s unlikely to forgive her her past (He can’t forgive himself his family’s.) easily and he’s not likely to forgive her her deception, so where does that leave her?   Where she began.

As for him, he knows she’s hiding something.   That may be part of the push/pull of him reaching towards her/watching her and still pulling away — as much as uncertainty surrounding what Mairen feels or what he’s willing to let Ost-in-Edhil see  of his fondness for his friend.   They are neither of them much in touch with emotion and key commonalities as well as proximity and a sense that this may be the person who changes their life play into their dynamic.  Besides, they’re both very much about the work and would be wary of anything that would imperil it

Does Mairen sense Celebrían's fate?   Well, the original line -- the one she wanted to say but didn't -- ended with "Fear no dream and no darkness. They cannot hurt you here and now, not while I am here to stand between you."   She'll have a few issues when she learns of what happens to her while she was sleeping her defeat away.    

Thank you.   I thought her voice -- well, any Sauron's voice -- should be the type of voice that causes one to anticipate the next thought or word, and it it had a quality of song to it, so much the better.   I'm thrilled you're reading.

Celebrian is more than a little magic which may be why it is drawn to her in this.   

Celeborn has been my unexpected favorite in this; he's really quite a remarkable fellow.   It isn't that his suggestions aren't received or that she doesn't see what he's trying to tell her; it is simply that she is too tied to her notions of progress and, as for a home, she has fairly good reason to think she can't find one and so she's looking for security of the type she believes she can make.  Vulnerability is something that terrifies Mairen and to have what Celeborn is suggesting for her she would have to be very vulnerable.   She has also seen how much difficulty Celebrimbor has in forgiving himself for his past and so she fears that he could not forgive her hers and, perhaps, she herself fears to truly reconsider those choices.

He respects Galadriel greatly and so, even if he disagrees with what she's saying, he will be honor-bound to follow up on her concerns.   There's a lot of push-pull there with him caught between two people who both have his loyalties:  the cousin for whom he cares so greatly and whose daughter he loves dearly and this other being to whom he is drawn on a variety of levels.   It's also a signal of what his ultimate priorities will be; as Celebrian notes, he doesn't want to be there and he really doesn't want to know (It's quite the siren's song Mairen's singing where what she wants and what he dreams of are superficially aligned) but he will do ask those questions and challenge Mairen because his first duty is to his family and his city.  He never forgets that.   Mairen underestimates that about him.   

Celebrian is very full of magic and is quite perceptive; she is still able to see where most of the adults she's around already have the explanations for the unusual to hand and don't have eyes to spot it often anyway.  

I love Elrond; he's deeply compassionate towards everyone in this and, while he's pretty sure Galadriel and Gil-Galad are right and that his worries are well founded too, he'd really rather they not be.