Aredhel and the Marring of Bliss by just_jenni

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Chapter 1-Fateful Wishes

In which Aredhel desires to leave Gondolin but Turgon does not want her to go.

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“Aredhel! Sister!”  The King’s booming voice echoed through the vast hall.  Aredhel looked up at the vaulted ceiling, thinking that she would not be surprised if the whole thing collapsed and fell to rubble before her feet, such was the volume of Turgon’s powerful voice.   She lifted the skirts of her dress in preparation to run like the wind to safety outside if, indeed, the walls did come down.  They seemed to be shaking unnervingly.

 

“I beg you, Aredhel, please turn around and come back to hear me out.  Let me have one more chance to convince you to stay.  It is for your own safety and my love for you that I emplore you.”

 

Out of respect for her brother, who was after all the King of Gondolin and because of her great deal of love for him, Aredhel dropped her skirts, letting them fall to their normal level around her ankles in a cloud of white silk and lace.  She trod in her satin buttoned shoes in more ladylike strides back to her brother where he sat upon his throne.

 

“Dear Turukano,” she cajoled him in a warm, loving voice.  “It is not for lack of love of you that I desire to leave.  There is an urge within me that I cannot ignore.  I do not fully understand this urge but I feel compelled to visit our cousins whom I have not seen for so long.  I cannot remain cooped up here no matter how beautiful Gondolin is.  I do not mean to insult you or the city.”

 

Turgon’s look of concern alarmed her.  His fair face turned a frighteningly dark shade of red and she could tell that he was trying very hard to control his temper.  Her brother could be a bit too haughty for his own good, she thought.

 

 

“Please be truthful when you answer this, Aredhel, and do not presume that I am judging you.  It is only because I care for your welfare more than casting blame or making judgements about certain rules and conventions that I am afraid you might be wishing to flout.”

 

Aredhel’s brows raised in a questioning glance but she did not say anything to him.  She vowed to stay as silent as possible without being impolite until Turgon finished what he had to say to her, because she meant to leave Gondolin no matter what he thought or how hard he might argue in an attempt to keep her there.

 

She loved Gondolin but felt like a prisoner within its gleaming white walls.  No amount of entertainment by the world’s best singers and minstrels, nor walks in the glorious palace gardens, nor even the love of her family members could lessen her desire to leave.  She knew not why exactly, only that within her was an uncontrollable desire to ride free once again, feel the wind in her hair, feel the breezes rushing past her ears while she rode, feel the horse’s muscles under her feet, driving it on faster and faster.  Her breath caught in her throat to think of it.  Of course, it would also be terrible not to see her cousins Celegorm and Curufin once more.  It had been a long time since she had and she missed them terribly.

 

"Do you love him?"  Her brother’s voice broke into her thoughts.

 

“What did you say?”  Her mouth opened in surprise when she heard Turgon’s words and she stared back at him, her eyes filling with tears because of the emotions she had stirred up in herself and the question he had just asked her.

 

“That Celegorm fellow—our cousin Celegorm,” Turgon caught himself, she supposed because he wanted to be nice so that she wouldn’t try to flee again.  “Are you in love with him?”

 

Aredhel's mouth opened and closed silently, then opened again.  To her surprise, her hand was shaking.  She wiped her eyes.

 

“I love them both,” was her soft reply.  “Believe me.  I miss them in the most terrible way, Turukano.  It is not my desire to leave Gondolin forever, but to visit my dear, dear cousins, to look upon their faces once more and ride free with them like we used to do, before the world changes yet again and we have peace no longer in our realm nor in any other place that was once free for me to ride in.  When I return I promise you I shall marry someone worthy and settle down.  Someone of your choosing, if you like.”

 

Turgon gazed long and hard upon his sister.  “I think I understand you,” he replied, taking her hand in his and squeezing it softly.  “I am relieved that it is not one of your cousins that you wish to marry, for besides being frowned upon according to our custom not to marry close family members, I mistrust those two sons of Feanor’s in more ways and much more than I wish to discuss here.  But I will not forbid you to see them.  I, too, remember how close you were to them in your youthful days and I understand how much you miss your old friends.  But as you know, the world is not as safe as it used to be, and I do demand that you allow me to send with you three worthy members of this house, to guard and protect you along the way.  For the road is long and full of perils.”

 

Aredhel choked back her retort.  She had her objections to having an escort all the way to Himlad, but if it meant that Turgon would agree to her leaving she would be happy with his terms.

 

“Thank you brother, my dear, dear Turukano.”  She wrapped her arms about his neck and hugged and kissed him enthusiastically.