Shame and Grief by LadyBrooke

Chapter 1

Read Chapter 1

Makalaurë talks in his sleep. His older brother (his only brother, at that point) rolls his eyes and shakes him awake when they’re camping, to tell him to be quiet.

Later, Makalaurë will long for those days, but at the time all he can do is argue back, their squabbles rising in volume until their father opens the tent flap and scolds them.

Maitimo, he learns later, takes after their mother and has never spoken a word in his sleep.

Makalaurë takes after his father in this instance, and most people in Valinor say his father is incapable of silence.

-

Kanafinwë talks in his sleep too, if only to beg his family to come back. There is shame mixed in, choking him as he wakes. The line between sleep and awake is all too thin in these lands.

Nelyafinwë comes back on an eagle, Findekano holding him. Kanafinwë is unsure if this is another dream or waking life, until he is awoken one night while by his brother, hand grasping one shoulder and nothing grasping the other.

His brother does not scold him this time but invites him to have a drink.

Their father does not come to scold them.

-

Maglor wakes sometimes, throat sore from screaming. Shame still chokes him, new and old mingling together with grief until he wonders if this is what it felt like for Elros’ descendants to drown with Númenor.

Maedhros no longer wakes him physically. There is no return possible on this side of the sea. But sometimes it is Maedhros whose fate leads Maglor to awaken, screaming and tossing on the beach.

At other times it is their father. Maglor dreams of his fate, burns lacing the sides of his body.

Maglor dreams too of scolding him, yelling his frustrations with their fate.